Woeful mental health care ...

"I did wonder if we should have a mental health forum on GN so that people can give and receive support here. "
Good idea, Imperfect.
It's a subject very close to my heart as well.

Many thanks for the words of sympathy and empathy.

I feel it is only because we can advocate for my son that he is able to navigate the failures of the system and sometimes get well despite them to date.

I did wonder if we should have a mental health forum on GN so that people can give and receive support here. What do others think? This thread has certainly opened my eyes to how many of us are in a supporting role. I envisage information exchange, a place to let off steam and know that support will come from others going through similar.

Of course, my DS1's poor health impacts on my well-being - NOT that he is aware. I think this underlying stress has caused me, in part to seek a career change from what has been a very stressful working life over the past decade in particular. I figure that if I do something less demanding there will be something of me left over to be more supportive too. I am very glad I am not at work at the moment and able to offer him care as he does need looking after physically as well as mentally at present, but I should be starting work of some sort in October - need to pay my own bills (!) before any meds review and any need for him to adjust to new meds begins. Still, he has support.

I feel so very sorry for people who have no-one at all to help them. This is where church / community centres have helped out so much in the past - and very kind people who give so tirelessly to support.

Sometimes, I just feel too worn out to protest, but I can see obvious areas where policy changes could make a difference to front line care.

Imperfect my husband's twin foster brothers developed schizophrenia almost thirty years ago, when they were in their late teens. My wonderful father-in-law was so dismayed at the paucity of services that he left his job and took up a second career as an advocate for people who have a mental illness - and most importantly, for their carers. I honestly believe that, bad as the situation was then for people suffering from a mental illness, it is considerably worse now. I have just spent four years supporting another, very close, relative through suicidal depression and only my previous experience of mental health services and the financial capacity to pay for some resources has equipped me to ensure he got the help he needed in a timely manner.
To carers and those who struggle with mental ill-health.

I am so sorry for all those trying their very best to support and comfort family and friends with MH issues. If, as Jaycee5 says, MH charities are sometimes part of the problem, and MPs are uncaring what's to be done? What can be done to build on this GN body of informed opinion and experience to make changes? It all seems so despairing and energy sapping.

Good therapy indeed, glad all went well.

Thank you silverlining. We had a lovely walk and then a brunchy lunch back here and my son's shared watching a dvd. First time l have heard DS1 laugh all week so good therapy methinks ???

Have a good day with your sons imperfect, its a lovely sunny one.

Rang DS1's dr yesterday to explain that he is out of area with me for some respite care and to ask for advice on who to contact if he has an emergency whilst here. The receptionist was clearly stressed herself, very abrupt and jumped in several times before I had finished a sentence, assuming I was ringing to ask to speak to the doctor directly - not so - , assuming i wanted an emergency appointment - not so -. I remained polite, but felt exasperated and came away thinking that if my son had rang, he would have quickly given up because of her manner. I have a friend who works as a doctor's receptionist and she has opened my eyes to how stressful the job can be, so I quickly realised that it was stress behind the abruptness, but still felt it was poor service.

Better news - son is already up today and coming with me to meet up with DS2. Hoping we will get some good sea air. DS2 is great company for his brother too.

There have been times in the past where people suffered the same but they lived in communities where they talked to each other and supported each other. Babies were not put in nurseries, people were not isolated.

Mental health services are overwhelmed and of course cannot be taken in isolation. Someone mentioned increased anxiety and depressive illness and this can be linked to increased income inequality and withdrawal of other provision in the community: people under financial pressure are more likely to suffer mental health issues, poor housing (lack of investment in proper social housing) leads to depression, benefit cuts and caps lead to stress and anxiety, closing of things like sure start children's centre leads to isolation and depression, cuts to council funding from central government means cuts on a local level to social services and more stress and depression the list goes on! All of these issues are linked to a wider problem of cuts and savage austerity!!

Spent hours in A&E with DS1 last night. Referred him to umbrella care of his 'local' mental health team and sent him away with 2 doses of diazipam. No idea of when mental health team will be in touch. We can only hope this will somehow fast track him to therapy support he has already been waiting 6 weeks to receive. Gave him Samaritans number as a 'stop gap' and said someone from there will ring or he can ring anytime ...explained part of his personality disorder probs means he struggles with using a phone ... no other solution offered. He is coming home for some respite care as not self caring ... Don't know what l will do if he needs extra support while with me ... Shocked about being given the Samritans number as THE hiding mechanism ... Ex DH is a trained Samaritan ...they are not mental health specialists. But on we go. Spent time yesterday with 2 mums of lads with MH probs. O e died last year, the other recently tried to commit suicide and is on an acute ward. Similar tales of chasing support. Glad DS has me and his dad at the moment, but hard times again ... Just need a vent. This is so wrong.

I found myself in tears reading this thread and when I feel able I will write a longer reply. I have been going through this for two years with my adult daughter and I feel like my local health board are content to let her die. She has made numerous acts of self harm and her arms are badly scarred, she is so chronically underweight that her BMI is just 12 (too healthy apparently to access the eating disorder clinic). She has made several attempts on her life through overdoses. One of these was made while she was on the open hillside. It included a police dog search to find her and the assessment unit at the local hospital discharged her the same day. Her GP is fantastic and provides as much support as he can manage, but there is nothing out there. I have been unable to even get her an assigned CPN.

My heart goes out you all. Thank you for contributing. It is a solace to know that I am not alone and I am grateful.

No easy answers. If only there were! Families bear the brunt of the worry and caring. What happens to people who don't have such families? People with mental health problems are overrepresented in the prison and homeless populations.

Blinko Mental health charities all bid for government contracts and are often part of the problem.
People had the opportunity to vote the government who created this system out (not that New Labour made things that much better - but they have definitely got worse in the past 7 years) but people simply don't care enough about issues like this.
My MP has voted with the government 100% of the time and is in an ultra safe seat that he was gifted because his surname is Hurd. He is a third generation government minister, married to a countess, who has no idea of how difficult some people's lives are. Contacting him is futile. I'll be moved from his constituency after the next boundary changes and hope to have someone a bit more grounded in the real world.

I think that the problems many of us are facing are different to LD.
The Home Farm Trust and the centralized living schemes were ideal for many living with LD.
I am talking of someone who has led a full and normal life suddenly not being able to cope, attempting suicide, being hospitalized and being unable to work, with all the pressures that that brings. It is truly horrendous for them and their families.
Some GPs are totally unsympathetic, some would like to help but don't have theh time and resources to help. All they can to is dole out antidepressants.
They can be thought of as workshy when that is far from the truth and after a period out of work, if employers find out there has been a MH issue they will not employ them. Unless you have been there,done that and worn the tee shirt you will never understand.

Misadventure. That is awful but it doesn't surprise me. This targeting of vulnerable people's flats is incredible common. One man on my estate who is an alcoholic was evicted because his flat was taken over by drug dealers. I am not sure if he was a victim or part of the problem but I do wonder how much effort the Council took to find out whether he was agreeable to what was going on. The men that took his flat over seemed to be very new 'friends'. Now the flat is empty but the drug dealers are still using it.
Communities generally need to be more aware of it so that they can contact the police or Council as soon as they suspect that it is happening and the Police need to have a policy of how to deal with it. At the moment they just go out and see if there is any disturbance at that specific moment but these gangs know how to deal with the police.
For it to have happened twice on a very small estate like mine in a good neighbourhood by different gangs shows how prevalent it must be.
It is not something that lady's son could possibly be expected to deal with.

So very sad MissAdventure.

There are so many silent carers - and we worry about what will happen when we are gone and there is no-one else to care.

Just to add, this lady spoke about how things had recently got worse for her, as her sons flat had been the scene of a murder recently.
Her son had made new 'friends' who would go to his flat where they drank and took drugs all day, and a really gruesome murder was the outcome. I didn't attend the group after that, for various reasons, but a few months later saw in the local paper that the trial had been halted, as the accused had (despite having killed his last partner) claimed that it was this ladies son who had committed the crime.
His defence lawyers pointed towards this ladies son's years of mental problems as 'proof'.

A couple of years ago, I attended a local carers group, and everyone was encouraged to tell a bit about their circumstances
There was a lovely woman there, who explained that she has spent the whole of her life supporting her son, who has serious mental health issues
The person running the group made a few suggestions, but the woman said all of those things had been done, tried, set up, or talked about over the years. She finished by saying "I have just resigned myself to the fact that this is my life. He needs and will need support for evermore, and it all falls onto me". It was heart breaking to hear. She looked so worn out with it all.

The fact that so many have posted here with similar experiences and stories of woe just highlights the inadequacies of services. No-one is criticising the carers - just the poverty of provision for much needed support.

For my DS, it is a case of being very active in advocacy for him, attending drs appointments with him, pushing and chasing and insisting on service for him, meanwhile gently assisting him to self-care. Meanwhile, we having to hope to god that during those times when A&E turn him away at a point of crisis, or the crisis team are eager to 'sign him off' simply because he has told them that today he is 'fine' when it is bloody obvious he isn't, or he is told he has to wait yet another month even before he gets assessed, that he will not lose all hope, not unravel further, not self-harm ...
Of course there are no quick fixes. Ill thought-out and poorly funded policies are at the root of current ills. However, some relatively simple processes with regard to information exchanges and a frontline policy of care at A&E and more funding for the crisis team level of support might be the starting points. I guess it is a case of writing, petitioning etc. Hard to find the energy for this when over the years we are worn down with simply compensating for the poverty of proper care.
I am surprised there are not more reported tragedies - things have come to such a poor pass .

There are still a few old fashioned farm/real work type places which provide an alternative lifestyle for people with learning disabilities. The Steiner approach is at odds with modern thinking but, having visited several of their places, I thought they were lovely. Not part of the wider community and comparatively expensive so local authorities are not keen to pay. Although there are aspects of their ideology I'm not entirely with, they are where I'd like any family member of mine with LD to live.
Otherwise, I've seen a variety of small group homes run by various organisations. Some have been wonderful. Others not so much. A lot depends on the individuals who run them.
The old, large institutions were not ideal. There's no doubt that there was abuse. However, there was a lot of good too. Maybe we need more medium sized places of care and safety with well trained staff with the right attitude towards the people who live there. In the country, with meaningful activities, exercise, fresh air and good food. Oops - back to the Steiner approach. Not wrong is it?

Is anyone petitioning their MP about all this? They are the representatives who have a voice where it matters. HMG needs to be constantly made aware that 'care in the community' is simply not appropriate for many people with mental health issues.

We see on tv programmes about the police and ambulance services, that a great deal of their precious time is taken up by people with MH issues. This is in addition to the stress placed on neighbours and families.

I do suspect that this has always been known and that, as has been touched on in this thread, asylums were closed down to save money. Now the Government is hoping these issues can be swept under the carpet.

Decision makers of the past should be ashamed and those in charge now should be held accountable.

Perhaps the MH charities could form some sort of lobby group and make these points forcefully till something is done.

When an issue is as close to home, it can be very hurtful for it to be dismissed in a facetious way. We all need to be more sensitive to the feelings of others even if we do not know the whole story or details of their situation.
A timely reminder annsixty

I do wish illtellhim would post something constructive and not facetious. I am dealing with a mental health problem with my son and really don't need such comments when dealings with, what quite frankly, is a life or death situation.

Of course!