Nobody likes to talk about it but...

There are drugs available. The problem may be with the side effects but sometimes incontinence overrides dry eyes or a runny nose to name a couple of side effects.

I do not think that your GP would leap on the surgery wagon immediately- she would want to try cheaper options first.

There was a physio on Woman's hour some time ago describing how to improve pelvic floor exercise s by clenching your buttocks really tight as if you were trying to hold in the most dreadfully smelly fart you could imagine. She certainly got her message across.
I think it might have been the woman JessM referred to further down the thread. At times a little jolly vulgarity gets a message across better than trying to be serious.

I've had two massive repairs but I was stubborn and didn't give myself time to heal so now at 56 a bit weak but just use liners, not keen to have another op , they were very good but you end up not being able to carry anything heavier than a tin of beans for ever more. I accept the changes and deal with it, all the best

I bought a Kegel exerciser as I wasn't doing the pelvic exercises right ,it made a big difference .Might be worth checking with your GP if it would help you

I have got some problems myself but am appalled at the thought of surgery or wearing pads, and have just sent off for this DVD recommended by my female GP. The exercises seem to consist of advanced pelvic floor exercises. The lady who developed the exercises and DVD has cured herself of incontinence following childbirth. www.hab-it.com/

You are too late to sign up for this product trial, but if money is no object they are on sale I think.
www.gransnet.com/forums/product_tests_and_surveys/1241295-Do-you-suffer-from-stress-or-urge-incontinence-Would-you-like-to-test-INNOVO-NOW-CLOSED?msgid=26437424

You could ask your GP to refer you to the Continence Nurse at the Continence Clinic!!!! Unless of course you want to go to the incontinence clinic whatever that is.

There is a gadget available on the NHS for pelvic floor muscle toning - ask your GP about it.

Apparently you can get 'pee' pants now - proper pants made of some kind of material - hold quite a lot of liquid if you leak and do away with pads. Admittedly I don't like the idea at all and would rather stick to the pads - I don't have too much stress incontinence yet but as I'm constantly running back and forth to the toilet I'm probably storing up trouble

Michelle Kenway, an Australian women's health physio has lots of advice on line. I would ask your GP for a referral to your local Urogynaecology department. I had to have a hysterectomy and bladder and bowel repair for prolapse (after 3 children) but often the advice of the incontinence nurse and specialist physio is enough. Hysterectomy has a long recovery period before you are back to normal activities but well worth it with a severe prolapse.
One thing the physio said is that many of us drink too much water nowadays and older bladders do not cope with this. 1.5 litres daily is enough.

Google "Elaine Miller pelvic floor" . She's a Scottish physio, who does "stand up" on the subject of urinary incontinence. Her suggested exercises are very good. And she is very entertaining as well.

Thank you all for the advice - I am definitely going to speak to my doctor but will try and avoid an operation if at all possible. Living in a rural area six weeks without driving sounds likes a nightmare.

I have this problem. My GP referred me to the Regional Incontinence Clinic. The nurse checked me with an internal examination but said she'd understand if I didn't want her to do this. She just quickly made sure all was as it should be as far as she could see/feel.

I also had to have a scan. Drink 3 pints of water one hour before the scan appointment - a full bladder was necessary for the scan. This worried me that I wouldn't be able to hold it long enough but nurse was very understanding and as soon as I arrived for the scan she took me straight away. Then I went to the toilet and they checked again with the scan to make sure I had fully emptied my bladder and that it was filling again properly.

My pelvic muscles were actually considered quite good and so we started with the usual pelvic exercises. Also advised me to lengthen the time between going to the toilet 'just in case' which I did very often.
It's possible that I was my own worst enemy in that I had trained my bladder to want to empty before it was necessary simply by going to the toilet too often. i.e. if I was in town shopping I'd go the the store toilets.... just in case.

I am now much better although this week I have a bad cold and cough and have to be very 'careful'. And do admit that when I go out for the day I wear a Tena Lady.... just in case .

I had forgotten about that part of it all.

That's partly why I had a hysterectomy.

I had the "wet sneeze" problem about ten years ago, but did the pelvic floor exercise we were told to do after childbirth; repeated clenching for a few minutes a day while sitting in my chair, and what I think was the more effective thing of stopping the stream two or three times during each pee. After about a month of this the problem went away unless I was desperate to go when the sneeze hit. These days I find it difficult to just sit on the lav and empty my bladder in one go. The stream stops and then I have to lean to one side or the other, or lean forward or back before it starts again. I´m beginning to think of it as a floppy deflated balloon that flops over at the neck

I had a colposuspension at the same time as my hysterectomy too, over twenty years ago now, and no further problems. I never asked which method was used though. I believe there have been problems with one method failing. It may be worth investigating further.

I couldn't drive for six weeks and was off work for three months, but that perhaps was due to the hysterectomy.

Very interesting to hear from two people who have had a successful operation. I don't know if there is an incontinence clinic at my local surgery - I was just trying to mine the wisdom of Gransnet before talking to any professional. How long is the recovery time after the operation?

I had a bladder repair at the same time as my hysterectomy. Made a huge difference.
I was tiny and had a 9lb 3oz baby, that what caused all the problems.

I had stress incontinence after 2 9lb babies and after suffering into my 30s I had a bladder repair surgery I've never leaked since it worked for me.

Do you not have an incontinance clinic at your surgery Daisy?

Have you checked the 'horror stories' out with your Dr ,? I think that should be your first port of call, if you feel you can't go through with it then it seems like Tena lady will have to be the way forward , good luck