How do you not feel shame in taking anti-depressants long-term

I have more faith in the medical profession than some here. I'm confident our GP's won't prescribe any medication if it isn't necessary. This doesn't mean everyone is as fortunate. I do feel that it's judgemental and can seem rather smug to suggest that everyone who is prescribed AD's is taking them to deal with "ordinary" life events like bereavement. Anyone who has any training in working with/supporting people who are struggling will be aware of what is sometimes called "the presenting problem". Spending any time with anyone who is depressed usually leads to an understanding that it's the straw that broke the camels back syndrome. Yes, some of us are more resilient than others - that doesn't mean that final straw may not cause us to fall over.

Everyone is different nonnie. I know some people who can't bear how ADs make them feel.
There are other approaches that are proven to help but they're not rapidly available to everyone on demand. They should be though!

OldMeg it is good that you have never needed ADs but maybe that is because you have never really been clinically depressed? I just feel the need to say this in case someone reading your post will feel that they are someway inadequate because they can't do as you did.

Someone asked if you still feel emotions when on ADs. I would like to make the point that when very seriously clinically depressed you cannot feel anything. Everything is on a straight line, no ups or downs, not even able to cry. Anyone who thinks that you can in some way get yourself out of that without help is seriously mistaken.

Jane10, there might more chance of getting anti-depressants for reactive problems like grief after a death but presumably that only happens if you go to the Dr because you are not coping with it. It is surely better to get treatment quickly to help you through it and then you can come off the AD's. Most people will take them for less than 6 months. I suspect there are many of us who have had a more unsettled life than we realise until we go on AD's and see how the other half live! Those people will often stay on them for longer.

That’s very true Jane

I know that Nanna58 it's just that ADs are being prescribed for perfectly understandable reasons for feeling bad.

I agree with you Jane 10, but I thought we were discussing the need for medication for clinical depression, not the very natural feelings and reactions to the sad or bad things that life throws at us, that is very different.

I would agree with that, even though I often feel like I'm going crazy with grief. I haven't been offered medication to deal with it though. I think its only if and when people aren't able to 'get over it' ( as if I ever will!) that counselling and maybe medication are considered.
I expect to feel grief. I want to feel it.

I'm still wary of 'medicalising' feeling bad after adverse life events such as bereavement. The American disease categorisation manual known as DSM5 has classified the sadness felt after a death as a mental illness. Obviously there are implications around the big pharmaceutical companies funding the group compiling DSM5.
I truly don't think we need to pathologise sadness or expect a medical approach to treatment.

you should not be ashamed of taking an anti depressant. They have a biological effect as they stop the re-uptake of serotonin. Serotonin help you to feel OK and so this medication stops your body breaking it down too fast. The pros and cons are dealt with by the NHS website
beta.nhs.uk/medicines/venlafaxine/

You need to monitor the possible side effects. If you are not getting any then you do not need to worry.

I suggest you live as happy and as balanced a life as you can, then if you ever did have side effects which as a result you might be advised by your GP to come off them very, very, gradually; you will feel you had a valid reason to do so.

No one would say "You've been on insulin for 25 years - isn't about time you stopped?" Or "Do you really need those blood pressure tablets?"
Depression is an illness - one that you are treating. Be kind to yourself, and do what you need to stay well.

I've suffered with anxiety, agoraphobia and also depression and have taken medication since I was about 15, so can relate to how you feel about taking them. I was put onto benzos in my early 20's and just left on them and still take them. I was prescribed antidepressants in my 40's and am still taking them too. I hate taking them, I don't tell anyone unless I have to as I've come to realise that no matter what people say about there not being such a stigma, I actually think there is. My own sister actually thinks 'people like me that don't contribute to society' shouldn't get a State Pension, as if having a mental illness is something we have by choice!

Sadly there is very little help the NHS can offer with regards to therapy which I am sure would be more helpful than just dishing out medication. I always find it odd that there is so much help for people who want to stop smoking, stop drinking or stop taking hard drugs, but try to find any help for coming off prescribed psychiatric meds and there is nothing. Even my own GP, whose special interest is mental health has told me there is nothing he can do other than refer me for an 'up to date diagnosis', which I really can't think would be of any benefit to me. I often wonder what goes through the minds of some of these GP's, the first time I saw mine when he took over from my previous GP he looked at me and said 'oh my you would never think you suffered with a mental illness looking at you'. Not sure if he expected me to walk into the surgery with 2 heads or what, but comments like that don't exactly inspire confidence in how you feel society sees you.

I can’t answer your OP alcot as I’ve never taken antidepressants.

I was offered them a couple of times after life changing events, but felt compelled to decline. That’s just my choice - to try other methods first. It works for me as I must be very resilient, but I wouldn’t expect others to make the same decision as we’re all very different.

Morning everyone, & thank you so much for all your replies. This has been my first post ever on Gransnet, & I am truly overwhelmed by the number of responses and the kind comments. I have printed them all out and will read over them a few times and then whenever I need an extra bit of reassurance. I have had a lot of counselling of different sorts over the years - the death of my mother was then compounded by the sudden & unexpected death of my father in 1999 too when I was 36, which was followed by 2 1/2 years of legal battles as someone challenged his will, so my sister and I, as well as trying to grieve, had to subject ourselves and our young families to years of stress, ending up at the High Court in London, where we successfully upheld his wishes, but only after our legal fees to defend ourselves from all the attacks had topped £100K and made us both ill. There have been many other challenges since then, as we all have in life, & I know that I wouldn't have coped with, say, my daughter coming out to us as bisexual and then being attacked, or my son's girlfriend of 3 weeks accidentally falling pregnant, without the support of the tablets. I think I will try, as many of you have suggested, to just rejoice in living in times where there is this help available as I struggle, and get on with leading my life without shame or guilt. Bless you all and I send you all my very best wishes. As Winston Churchill used to say, what else can we do but "just keep buggering on"!!

Hello PaddyAnn, am sorry to hear about your daughter. Its serious time to review all medications she is taking with yhe help of professional. 23 pills seems toxic even if illness is comorbid.

I haven't been on here very long, and have always enjoyed the comments, and contributing comments. I think that we should all be able to make comments without being made to feel uncomfortable and by the comments some people have made I think GabriellaG has been made to feel just that. I am a CBT therapist but don't think I know it all. Please continue to comment Gabriella G. I found your comments as interesting as everyone else's.

I spent more than 20yrs yo-yo ing up and down in and out of depressive bouts because I didn't want to believe I had to be constantly on AD's. What a waste of those years, after a caring GP persuaded me to cut myself the slack I would willing give others I have been taking them regularly for about 10 yrs, and they have been the happiest and most contented of my life. I am DEFINITELY not ashamed of this anymore, and am just glad I have seen sense albeit later than sooner.

Granny23 I wasn't thinking of anything, it was just something that I wondered about (whether AD flattened emotions) so thanks for answering my question.

Thank you icanhandthemback.

Luckygirl Thank you for that heartfelt description of serious depression on the thread about Hari's book, you could have been inside my head. Thank you.
Mine started with a period of extreme stress and physical ill health at the same time. I started on ADs then and came off them after some months of counselling as my doctor thought I should.
The next bout of depression came like a bolt at a time I should have been happy and knocked me for six. The doctor again prescribed ADs and I am still taking them 6 years later. The doctor has said it would not be wise to reduce them and I don't want to return to that blackness and confusion.
alovelycupoftea I would like to come off my ADs too as I feel ashamed of needing them to be normal. I think it's probably more to do with the fact that mental health has a stigma that physical health doesn't so not needing the tablets would make me "cured". I have got over it by realising that if I didn't have these tablets my life would be utterly miserable again and my family and friends would suffer too (especially DH who has been through it with me). I am glad I am now well enough to appreciate my life!

Jane10 Thanks. I am happy enough but prefer to be left alone as much as possible.
I don't think it is possible to have an emotionally abusive childhood and not have some level of depression during your life which is one reason that I think child abuse and child development needs much more attention and action (other than just hyperbolic headlines every so often).

Jaycee I think you'd have to have something wrong with you not to have been profoundly upset by the series of rotten things that have happened to you. I hope you get more help than just pills to help you to a better lifestyle. Good luck!

GabriellaG I agree with Granny23 that it wouldn't help me to go over the causes of my anxiety. I had it as a child caused my a father who made his dislike of me very plain and being the family scapegoat. Then I had a series of problems cumulatively serious enough to lead to what verged on PTSD, combined with a difficult menopause at 44 and then illness which caused difficulties in keeping my business going but having to because I had a trainee on a contract which I thought it would be unfair to terminate but continuing when I was no longer coping then led on to financial difficulties so I had to sell my house and rent. I didn't want to go on benefits but by the time I needed to I wasn't well enough to deal with the system and ended up in hospital with malnutrition. It was only after that (about a month after I came out of hospital) that I started to take anti depressants for the first time.
I realise that having said that I didn't want to rake over things I have done it anyway but that is really as much detail as I would want to go into and there is nothing that can be undone and things have changed for the better now (although I could have done without our recent nightmare neighbour problem which the other neighbours asked me to deal with as they are too old/disabled/etc.)
I think this year will be better but I don't expect my anxiety to go away now, just to be kept in check.

41 years ago I was put on high doses of Valium for anxiety and anorexia nervosa which the doctors said I was suffering from. I took the tablets for 13 long years whilst working full time and bringing up my son. I knew myself when the time was right and stopped them cold turkey against the Doctors advice. Fortunately I did not suffer withdrawal symptoms. Over the years I have had a two relapses lasting only a few months at a time. I went straight for the medication and would do any time I need to. Don’t be ashamed..do what you have to do.

Wowee, everyone, thank you so much for all the support & advice. I have been out all day & am shattered but will read them all properly in the morning. I certainly have no intention of going cold turkey or anything like that so no need to worry ! It seems that there are lots of us in the same boat, so I send you all my love and big hugs. Xx

Grannyknot , I still experience emotions but I don't have the emotional swings I used to. Now I can take a more considered, less knee-jerk approach to life. The trouble with emotional swings is they affect everyone around you so that causes more problems which then causes more anxiety and depression. It really is a vicious circle. I started taking them initially because of PMT when my 3rd husband coerced me into going to a Dr before I sabotaged that relationship too. It was an amazing change to my life which has resulted in a stability I never thought possible. That was when I realised how badly I had been affected from puberty onwards which makes it sound like it was hormonal but when I started taking HRT, I came of them and found many of the symptoms returned. As my late brother and sister were both diagnosed as bi-polar, I wonder whether I was similarly but less badly afflicted.