Should I be worried about DH?

Thank you for all your responses.
In the very short term, I think i will just keep an eye on things, but if the opportunity arises to raise the issue and discuss it with him, I will do that, and see where that leads.

Hi. My husband's behaviour altered, his moods, memory etc then he dev loped a slight tremour eventually he went (after much asking) to the doctor. After many hospital visits and tests he's been diagnosed with Parkinson's which can affect behaviour, moods and memory. He is much easier to live with since he's been on medication. So ask him to visit your doctor but go with him.

* goose1964 * - thanks for the translation! You will have to come and stay!

He needs to see a professional, so a visit to the GP in the first instance. If he objects, see if you can discuss it with the GP. Some areas have community mental health nurses who can make a home assessment.

To me it is significant, Mamacaz, that you say the thought of getting old depresses your DH, perhaps this is something you could discuss frankly with him? Airing worries about the future does sometimes help.

Unfortunately, all the good advice about consulting a doctor may be very necessary, but the kind of memory loss you are describing might just be due to your DH no longer using his brain enough. Something very similar happened to my father in his old age, after my mother's death when he no longer had the daily stimulation of talking to her.

So please, have a word with you GP on your own, and ask him to check memory loss etc. next time your DH comes to see him. If the GP feels everything is normal, and perhaps even if he doesn't, is there any possibility of getting your husband to use his brain more? Crosswords, scrabble, Sudoku, going out to a club or meetings for the elderly? Joining a book club?
Using his brain more did help my father, who when we visited, or he came to us, would tell us the same story three times in 30 minutes, but after an hour or so of talk, would remember what we had been discussing and the repetitions stopped. I can see Starbird is on the same track here as I am. Do hope some of all the advice here is helpful.

No MamaCaz, you can't trick him into appointments but you could write to his doctor and explain your concerns or ring that surgery and describe the problem to them. Asking for advice always seems to go down well.

Hopefully you are worrying unnecessarily but I would suggest a trip to the GP. Three years ago I was in your position with my DH, a very gentle kind human being changing before our eyes. I suspected dementia but a period of severe anxiety and depression followed. The good news is while he’s on lots of medication, he has made a great recovery and I have my husband back. No dementia thank goodness.

MamaCaz, does your husband take Statins? My husband's memory went downhill after he started to take them. They also caused severe muscle pain so he was taken off them and his memory improved too. It might be worth reading the info leaflets of any drugs he takes regularly.

We finally managed to get DH to acknowledge that he had some problems. It is difficult if you cannot get them to acknowledge that they have a problem. They need to be willing to go along with it. However, we got an appointment quite quickly with the occupational therapist in the local hospital (memory clinic) and have an appointment with the consultant in a couple of weeks. The occupational therapist also made us an appointment at the Hearing Clinic, as I feel that this is part of the problem. And we have an appointment with the Talking clinic - assume that this is some sort of counselling service next week. At his regular diabetic check up, I mentioned all of this and it seems there could be the possibility that high sugar levels over the last six months have not helped. Have been very impressed with all the help we have been given. I now try to attend all appointments with DH, as otherwise he does not tell the truth to the Dr/nurse etc!!
So MamaCaz, best of luck - there is help out there! It is all very worrying as we all know how serious dementia can be...

There are various conditions where symptoms are similar to those in Dementia (infection, thyroid problems, anaemia). ‘Word finding’ difficulties are a symptom of dementia. Hubby definitely needs to see doc and either have this ruled out or refer to a memory clinic.
Suggest call the Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline for expert advice 0800 888 6678

My husband has dementia and, like you, I watched and waited for at least a year trying to choose the right time to say something. In the end he admitted there was a problem when he found he could no longer tell the time and was finding driving very worrying. There are many different forms of dementia and all have different initial aynptoms. I think you are doing the right thing by waiting for the right moment. However it proved a relief to both of us once my husband got a proper diagnosis and started to get support and some treatment. Do keep a note of all the odd problems he encounters and it is useful for you to read up about some of the symptoms. There are simple tests for dementia on line and eventually I persuaded my husband to do one of the paper based tests and showed the results to the GP when we finally went for an opinion. Good luck. I hope in the end it just proves to be a medical problem that can be solved!

My understanding is that a GP can do an easy check by giving someone something eg an address, to remember at the start of the appointment ( ie any appointment for something else) then ask them to repeat it just as they are keaving. So if you informed the surgery of your concern they could do this.

But I also wonder if he is socialising at all - I find that if I give in to lethargy, SAD, or shear laziness, I get depressed and forgetful, but if I am with other people I become (relatively) witty and gay! Could it be that your husband just needs to get out more? Does he belong to any clubs or meet friends in a pub? How about taking up bowling or something?

It sounds like aphasia, the communication stuff that is. DH uses speech to text technology on his iPad to send emails and text to speech to read the news etc. He has very little literacy following strokes. He also cannot express himself clearly or follow a conversation. However he does not “look like a person who has had a stroke” . Hs mouth never drooped and he doesn’t even limp. He also has the moody stuff described by OP. I managed to get him to the GP recently because he was worried about his lack of stamina. Blood tests showed nothing to do with his raft of health problems, he just isn’t moving about enough ! Good Luck Mama With finding a way to get him to a GP. Stubborn beasts aren’t they??

We go to different doctors at different surgeries, so there is no way i can 'trick' him into an appointment, joint or otherwise.

Driving isn't absolutely forbidden with an Alzheimer's diagnosis. The delay should be informed and they will probably consult the gp or psychiatrist. If a licence is granted it will normally be reviewed after 1 year.

There might be a way, MamaCaz - how about scheduling a "double checkup visit" with the Dr. Ask your DH to come with you as your backup, (because you need him there?), but make sure that the Dr knows the real reason for the booking. The Doctor should also know beforehand that your OH is driving. This is something that must absolutely be forbidden if he is diagnosed with Alzheimers or Dementia. Too many cases of people forgetting which pedal is which, and accelerating instead of braking. Horrifying.

he needs to be checked, there are other reasons for this other than dementia. I'm a master at it and I only have the menopause to blame.

Luckygirl I understand your husband's comment. He means that because the teacher was Welsh he was rugby mad, any excuse to watch a match

I was in the same situation as you MamaCaz, so I understand your concern. The advice of "marching DH to the doc" made me smile. Clearly their DH aren't
stubborn mules like mine was!
I cared for my husband who had a rare form of lymphoma, for 7 years. I wrote to our doc, in fact I wrote many times as dementia wasn't the only problem.
It is the best advice IMO. Unless your DH agrees he has a problem and "wants" to get a check up, write to his doc and keep note of all incidents. Good luck. It is not easy!

MamaCaz - I would be worried and get him seen to by hook or by crook, but also taking into account the advice of others above.

This is a wake-up call for all of us. My mother said to my sister several years ago that she was to tell her if she noticed that her household or personal hygiene was slipping.

I think I shall do that to my nearest and dearest with regard to dementia and tell them that they are to deal with it in no uncertain terms if I start getting seriously forgetful. That way, no one should feel that they are walking on eggshells if they need to tell me I'm senile. It's obviously a bit of a taboo, and very difficult to tell someone to their face that they are deteriorating, but it's got to be done.

Surely your husband must have felt odd himself asking how to spell such a simple word?

I get the same problem occasionally, mostly that I cannot recall a specific word, one that is in regular use, or I have to check my spelling. This memory problem is common as we get older. I also have to think about where I am driving whereas beforehand I would just drive there without thinking about the route.
So I've had a memory check which was OK for my age. But it is important to think about changes and recognise when advice from your GP could either set your mind at rest or realise something needs to be done.
I would recommend a visit to your GP for a general check up especially if the last visit to the GP was a long time ago.

I think my suggestion of "watchful waiting" really relates to finding the right moment to take action. As long as he still has capacity then he can refuse treatment; and it is important that he is onside as he could make OP's life miserable if he is angry about the actions taken.

I don’t think people are advising OP to wait.
The general consensus seems to me to be that there may well be a problem - early signs of dementia/UTI/TIA , perhaps even eyesight, and that MamaCaz should get him checked over ASAP.

It concerns me that so many people advise you to wait OP.
My mother showed early signs of dementia. I insisted on getting her assessed then put on the medication Aricept before it was cleared for general use. It halted the deterioration allowing her to enjoy a decent quality of life until the end.
I am so glad I caught it early. Please don't wait before approaching you GP.

I think you should tell your doctor about your concerns and then when your DH next goes perhaps the GP could slip in a cognitive assessment.
In the meantime note any problems. Going out for walks and drinking plenty but not alcohol might help.

With Mum, we wrote everything down that she was struggling with and gave it to her GP who then called her in for a general health check. Her symptoms escalated from slight forgetfulness to things such as forgetting how to use technology that she had previously been familiar with, missing hair appointments, forgetting where she had parked her car or blaming other people for hiding kitchen utensils.

You could keep a note of things that concern you and then you will see if they escalate.