Anyone have partner with Prostate cancer

Sorry to hear that Valerie.
My late husband had prostate cancer so I'll quickly cover the most important things I learned as a result.
Roughly speaking there are two variants. Apparently most previously assumed healthy elderly men autopsied have prostate cancer to some degree. This type is very slow growing and death usually has other unrelated causes e.g. Heart attack. Mostly these men are put on watchful waiting where the PSA is monitored to ensure that it doesn't change into the aggressive form. Normally you have to wait three months between PSA tests so that the rate of change can be worked out before they decide on treatment. If the PSA is extremely high or the change over 3 months is significant then it is probably the aggressive type and aggressive treatment will be required.
My husband believed that illness and going to the doctor is a sign of weakness so by the time he was diagnosed it had spread out of the prostate which is why the treatments offered to him were palliative. I have since spoken to many men (friends and family) urging them to have a PSA test done and two were diagnosed with PC. Both involved me in their treatment decisions and I " hand held" them through the process. Medicine changes rapidly so I want it to be clear that I am now talking about 10 years ago and both men had PC in their prostate only. After much research R and I decided on Brachytherapy. Small radioactive pellets are injected into the prostate. The radiation kills off the cancer in a limited area over the next three months or so. Involves an overnight stay in hospital, bruising and some discomfort. R is alive and well with no further problems ten years later. With D I didn't need to research. Recommended Brachytherapy and he is alive and well 8 years later. Both have no side effects whatsoever, neither bladder or sexual function.
There will have been advances over the last 10 years and new treatments so do discuss it with the cancer specialist who is the very best person to advise you. You are wise to ask others of their experiences so that you can go to appointments with a list of questions.
Please feel free to PM me if you wish. Always happy to help. I like to feel that though my husband died, his death has resulted in other men being spared the same fate.

My husband was diagnosed 6 years ago following routine PSA test which was very slightly raised. He was initially offered the choice of surgery or to just monitor but his Gleeson score showed one of the areas was a slightly higher grade so it was recommended he have surgery. After the surgery, which was done by robotic surgery, he was uncomfortable for a couple of weeks but since then has been fine. He was discharged from hospital after 3 years and just has 6 monthly psa tests at the gp, which have been fine so far.

DH was diagnosed 2-3 years ago, had all the tests ( MRI, bone scan) and had the aforementioned gold seeds, radiotherapy (at Addenbrookes, brilliant staff) and hormone treatment. His PSA is now 0.01 and we are on 6 monthly appointments. Fingers crossed, all is going well.

DH was diagnosed 8 years ago and went on active surveillance and was monitored with biopsies and MRI scans eventually after 5 years his PSA level rose and he was given HDR Brachytherapy worked well PSA level is now normal just has 6 monthly checkups.

My DH had Prostate Cancer seven years ago and had his prostate out, but had one positive margin. For five years he was fine, but since then his PSA has started to rise and we are expecting to have to go for further treatment at some stage. The three monthly PSA tests are a worry, but we always say, we are so lucky to have our free health service and the wonderful treatments available. Try not to worry too much, you're in good hands!!

My OH has recently been diagnosed. He couldn't have surgery without losing 20k which wasn't going to happen so opted for radiotherapy. He has just started on hormone injections and will be going to Addenbrookes in May for radiotherapy. Prostate cancer uk has a good website and specialist nurses you can ring. There is a Facebook group for partners of those affected and also local support groups in some areas.

Yes - you can have pc without knowing it - my husband was diagnosed 5 years ago with an aggressive form but he wasn't really having symptoms. The most difficult thing we found was deciding on which treatment to go for, especially as some have difficult to deal with side effects. His instinct was for surgery but on advice he opted for radiotherapy and hormone treatment and has now been off any type of treatment for 2 years. Pretty sure we made the right decision. He is still having PSA tests every 6 months and every time they come round it is a worry but so far he is doing OK. Treatments are advancing all the time. Wishing you all the best.

rubysong thank you. we will just have to wait and see what is suggested i expect, ita a puzzle why its taken so long to find did your DH have to go through so many tests etc for so long, this seems to be in a place which was hard to find, dont know if its maybe in his lymph nodes because they were mentioned, which might make it more difficult to treat, and did he in general feels well, you wouldnt think there was anything wrong with him really,or maybe it just doesnt affect anyone like that
I suppose people can have cancer without knowing

My DH had his prostate removed in October and at the follow up meeting we were told it was quite an aggressive cancer and had reached the border of the tissue which was removed. His next appointment is in March when we should know if he needs and further treatment. You will probably be given some leaflets which will tell you in detail what to expect regarding recovery from any treatment. Castle Hill is a good place to go. Sister in law was treated there for breast cancer some years ago (and is fine). We are also impressed with the care DH is getting here in the South West.

Thank you all who have replied, he has gone through months of tests, from about last July onwards, admitted to hospital as an emergency with an infection, and then got sepsis,at the end of May
They discovered then he had an enlarged prostate, so has had numerous tests and MRIs. bone scans, 2 biopsies, the last being through the perineum which they said showed a shadow, but he wont find out the details until the 5th , so at the moment doesnt know what treatment he will be offered
I have read about the radioactive seeds they implant, but has been told he will go for treatment to Castle Hill Hospital in Hull, so the urologist must have an idea of what might be needed.which i blieve is the main one for radiotherapy and chemo, although our local one does chemo and is almost across from where he lives, ]we dont live together] around the corner from each other

Don’t know where the rogue word ‘hours’ appeared from. Please ignore it.

My husband also just diagnosed and been offered watch and wait hours, radiotherapy or removal. Has opted for watch and wait at the moment. Will just have to see how it goes,

Yes. My DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer over 13 years ago. He was offered chemo or radiotherapy or watch and wait or surgery. He decided he did not want to just live with it and see what happened so made the decision to have his prostate removed. Thankfully after his op they said the cancer was contained within the prostate and had not spread. He is fine. I think treatment has improved considerably in the last few years and the surgery is less invasive.
I am so sorry valerie that you and your partner have this worry but there is a lot they can do these days. I hope your partner has a good outcome whatever he decides to do

Valerie so sorry. I’m sure if you post again in the morning you will get many more replies. My DH doesn’t have prostate problems but the husband of my best and longest standing friend did.

He has treatment which involved inserting some tiny gold beads into the affected area of the protrate which they acted as a guide for targeting the cancer using radiotherapy. I didn’t get all the ins and outs (you don’t like to pry) but I do know it was cured and all subsequent scans have been clear.

Hope that helps a little to reassure you