'Mental'

My advice is to do as much as possible of your preparation for Christmas (if you must) on line. It does make life so much easier not to be queuing at check-outs or scrambling for that last-minute present. And now that the GC are growing up at a frightening rate, they often prefer hard cash or vouchers. Christmas was never intended to be stressful, but a joyful occasion, shared with friends and family - or not, as you prefer.

I can undertstand these concerns. I have been prone to low mood quite often over the years, nothing desperate, touch wood, but getting very down at times. My mother and her mother were similar.
(Thinking about it I have been feeling down for a lot of last year.)

My latest panic was over several incidents over a few weeks when I had totally blanked out words in mid sentence.
I was on a particularly nasty pain tablet which is well documented to cause some memory loss and a lot of other unpleasant side effects.

I did take the lowest possible dose and I discussed with my GP about cutting down the dose and reduced the dose probably too quickly.

I am cutting down carefully now but on the first days I had awful waves of anxiety and panic at first and I am just getting my sleeping patterns better and I am "watching this space".

I have been on the basic Citalopam a few times over the years. I will go back to the GP in a few weeks depending how I feel.
I do think hope I will feel better when we eventually get some warm sunshine and I can get out into the garden and fully get rid of this cough so may of us have had .

Let's be kind to ourselves.

Sorry to hear how poorly you were. My DD suffers from panic attacks and anxiety. She has found a hypnotherapist who has helped her somewhat, especially over certain periods which were worrying her. He has provided recordings to help with relaxation and sleep. It might be worth trying similar, but make sure they are a bona fide practitioner.
I love the 'eat your elephant a slice at a time' advice!

I can't cope in crowds so I plan Christmas early. Try to do most of your gift shopping prior to the rush. I aim of the end of November but have most before that. Have your groceries delivered. I usually get my delivery on 23rd just in case I forget something. If I do then I go to my local Coop which isn't over run by panic shoppers on Christmas Eve.

If you're still feeling ill then you need to see your GP just to touch base. You don't need to accept meds unless you want to but it would be worth having it on your records and your GP knowing how you feel. Book a double appointment so that you have time to talk.

Good for you for acknowledging your feelings sandelf, your plans for December sound just right. If you do stay at home then there’s nothing wrong in keeping it simple. Please forgive me if there’s a ‘but’, overwhelming anxiety is best taken seriously I think. There’s a lot that can help, including CBT. There may be some CBT available in your area via the NHS. It could be worth a chat with your GP, he or she won’t laugh, anxiety is oh so common sadly. Alternatively the Head Space app or other online resources are a good option. MoodGym is worth a look and Mindfulness can help. Good luck with it, anxiety can be tamed.

I think you are not quite over it Sandelf - anxiety can be crippling. Try to access some CBT online if you can and see your GP as there may be really good help in your area which you might not know about. Going abroad seems a brilliant idea to get away from the hype. Or maybe a cruise as some sail over Christmas. I can sympathise as last year I seemed to be running around after everyone and being the driver for everyone and did not feel relaxed till well after the event.

BlueBelle, the founder was called John James Sainsbury. Hope that helps - retain the knowledge for a quiz!?

I fully understand sandelf. I really don’t ‘get’ Christmas any more. I start to worry about it about around now because of the complicated dynamics within my family and DH’s family(we are both on second marriages) and who I will be entertaining. I’m getting better, telling myself it’s only a glorified Sunday lunch but I detest the early build up, the preponderance of pickles in every supermarket aisle from September-what do people actually do with all the piccalilli and red cabbage? I’m not a religious person by any means but when I see the trollies piled high I ask myself how many of those people actually think about the reason for Christmas. I really feel for you, sandelf. If my life hadn’t taken a turn for the better when I met DH2 I would seriously consider going away for the whole time

What’s the J for then ? I m so ignorant i ve only ever heard it called Sainsbury’s

BlueBelle, I think JS is Sainsbury’s ?

I totally understand mental health, anxiety, panic attacks etc I ve never had a panic attack but I ve seen a very competent friend turn to jelly with one however anxiety can be my middle name in some circumstances but don’t do another three month Christmas Sandelf and let others do what’s comfortable for you instead of the other way round
I also still haven’t a clue what JS is ?

Get it booked?? Sandelf.

Indeed MawBroon it's odd what comes from situations you just must cope with. (We had a similar to yours 3 years ago). I'll have a look at Head Space. We are thinking of Tenerife for warmth and peace (been before and enjoyed it).

Sound advice here.
One of the “best” Christmases was after Paw nearly died from a perforated bowel at the end of November and subsequently diagnosed with Lymphoma. We knew everything was under control by Christmas, treatment lined up for January etc so the fear had gone out of the situation but he was stuck in hospital in London. Because of the bowel surgery etc I had done nothing for Christmas , no cards,no tree, no decorations, no presents, no shopping or food preparations and right up to C Eve did not know if he would be home. As it happened he stayed in. I stayed at DD’s flat over Christmas, we took smoked salmon sandwiches over to the hospital and sat down in the evening to a venison casserole from the freezer.
I loved the simplicity of it all, the appreciation of a potential death sentence being lifted and the joy of life.
Christmas is exactly what you make it, no more no less.

Here here minimo. Sandelf .....there's an App named Head Space...my gp recommended to me as I suffer with anxiety/depression but I think I'm probably better talking face to face with someone. I do hope you find a solution..... If you do p!ease let me know. Kind regards.

Its been my aim for a good few years to go quietly away.
I haven't managed it yet, but I absolutely know I would enjoy it. Hope you do, too.

Right wildswan - I'm going to do that 'as of now'. And sort out somewhere quiet to disappear to '22nd December - 5th January'. There is a self referral mental health place not far from me - I'll give that thought too. Thanks to all - not easy to understand how out of control anxiety can get until you've been there. Ain't the 'interweb' wonderful for communal wisdom. (minimo & BlueBelle)

I'm sorry you've had to put up with some perhaps well-meaning but careless and unkind remarks sandelf. Anxiety and panic attacks are very common and sadly misunderstood by those who don't suffer from them.

You have my heartfelt sympathy. It's not easy but I'd really speak to someone about it - your GP for instance. There is so much extra stimulation these days - lights, noise etc and for some of us, our brains don't cope with it very well. I definitely think it can get worse with age. But there are loads of coping techniques which I'm sure your GP or a referred specialist can help you with.

Please don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help - it's very common and nothing to be ashamed of. The most important thing to do is look after yourself and as other posters have suggested above, do only what you can manage.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I would book myself a break, somewhere far away for the whole duration.
I would give money before I went, pack my bags, and disappear until after new year.

Christmas is only as overwhelming as YOU make it. Next year decide early on exactly what you are, and are not, prepared to do, and then stick to it. Stay home with your immediate loved ones. Don't believe that you have to cook for 24 and buy presents for 106. All that media hype and commercialism is not compulsory.

Tell anyone who needs to know very simply - I was exhausted last year, this year I am just going to enjoy it my way.

Also, make sure you keep yourself healthy through the winter - maybe there is a little bit of SAD (seasonal affective disorder).

I know I’m going to be pilloried for saying this, but really.....?

Best advice I was ever given

Eat your elephant a slice at a time

Where does Christmas being a three month fest come from? it’s about three days in my life
All those extras you name are your choice to buy or not you don’t have to pay into buying new clothes and other things it can be as simple as you want it to be sandelf
If I was you I d cur it right back to how you would be comfortable with it and maybe take yourself away for a couple of days to a hotel or something or if you have a partner just make it a quiet couple of days at home together with the door shut
(What’s JS ?)

Maybe you need to speak to someone professional about this? Christmas is a full on occasion, if you choose to make it. But 3 weeks is a long time to get over it.
Plus you might be having a panic attack at JS, but you seem to have found a way to cope with this.
If you want to try to cope with it yourself, make it a definite plan not to get involved in Christmas hysteria, maybe go away?
I’m trying a Mindfullness Calendar to try to help my anxiety levels, I don’t know if it will help but I’ll try it.