Going into therapy

Apologies. A misposted post. I will now go and post it where it is meant to be. Not sure what happened.

I am curious about how many of these messages actually reach the recipients in a way that will persuade them to look at them

I have an Ad blocker on my my computers, that keeps ads away from me and I scan through email fast deleting unread any emails from people or organisations I do not recognise or on subjects that do not interest me.

During the referendum I could have been inundating with messages based on analysis of my profile online, but it wouldn't have mattered because they would all have been deleted unread.

I do not write this to show that I am not touched by outside influences, I am not that daft. I read a lot of papers, read news online, follow up lines that interest me, all those will influence me, but this belief that we are all being inundated with adverts and emails always strikes me as very odd and I have kept off FaceBook because I dislike what I know it will do with my profile and data.

Iam64 I have said nothing whatsoever about therapy, for or against.

I was just taking up OldMegs point about her how her difficult childhood helping her develop a coping strategy that has served her well. I was merely agreeing with her from my own experience. I certainly wasn't recommending it to others as the solution to their problems

MOnica, I'm a believer in the getting on with school of therapy. It can be helpful coping strategy and is probably more effective than constantly ruminating and stressing about stuff that's beyond our control. Having said that, most of us have our breaking point and it can creep up and make you jump, just when you thought to could manage anything, a small thing can nudge you into feeling fairly dire. Counsellors or therapists call it the 'presenting problem', it may seem a minor issue like the death of a pet (forgive me all, that would never be a minor issue for me but I suspect you get the point) but the reality is it's cumulative difficult life events that have been pushed down coped well with, until that is no longer working.

Most therapists would say 5 or 6 sessions are enough. I agree. Look at Woody Allen - thousands of hours of psychotherapy!

if a counsellor is not possible, for whatever reason, then it can be a good idea to write down how you feel and just let it all out. You are supposed to then burn what you have written, although I kept some of mine and read it sometimes (although that is very painful) and remind myself of how far I have come. Why keep carrying those burdens, if there is a way of getting rid of them?

OldMeg, I find your point about the effect of a difficult childhood interesting. I had a problematic childhood due to illness and when I was quite young I developed a philosophy of 'Don;'t make a bad situation worse' and the doctors commented to my parents about how well I coped with my illness compared with others who had emotional problems. I only did that because I could see that getting upset didn't help and just made the situation more miserable.

It is a philosophy that has been very useful through out life.

The man I know went twice a month (which was as much as he could afford) for about 6 months and then dropped down to once a month for the rest of the year. He said he didn't drink or smoke and it was his "treat" to himself. I think it did him the power of good.

There is also talking therapy which is free. Not sure if link will work?

www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/benefits-of-talking-therapy/

- although if it's just one session not so bad. I thought therapy usually lasted for several weeks, if not months.

I know someone who went to a lady in our town. He said that she was excellent and helped him put things into prospective. No advice at all, just helped him to help himself.

Ooops yes. Sorry Fennel Per hour session.

Gilly - do you mean £45-50 per session?

Thank you for raising this subject btw.

There are things from when I was young that I carry around like heavy baggage. Now and again the bags spill out! I would love (I think that's the right word) to be-able to put them to bed. To empty the bags (boy they get heavy sometimes) and move on as I hate that this has turned me into an old cynic. Maybe the therapy of unloading onto a stranger is a good thing.

In my area (NE) £45-£50 seems to be the average amount. I have looked into it but can't afford to take the plunge at the moment. Good luck to you Teetime I would go for it if I were you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Who knows, offloading might do you the power of good.

Although I try hard to be an upbeat person; in my quitet times which seem to be a lot now I am very anxious and down about my lack of strength, money, ability to help more, regrets at where I went wrong ( many) inability to push myself to do more, my indecisiveness, my uselessness,
My introvertedness (is that even a word) If you talk to any of my friends they would tell you I m very upbeat, bubbly, bright and a doer just shows how little the outside world knows me
It seems to be part of my getting older and perhaps it’s normal but it’s not how I want to be at all it is like a hole with slippery sides that I keep sliding back into
It does help to know I m not alone in these feelings I m trying to work it out for myself I won’t take meds and although I know counselling is good I do know what I have to do worked for so many years helping others get out of it
Love to all those struggling a bit

The idea of therapy/ counselling is very much on my mind.
My daughter has some very serious issues at the moment. I know she needs help and the whole family is stressed and worried.
My question is - if I can't persuade her, is there an alternative?
Any point in making an appointment for myself so that I feel more able to help or should we think about family therapy? (Others would be willing to take part.)

I had terrible depression about 19 years ago, a sort of breakdown I think. I went to GP, started a course of anti-depressants and started to see a counsellor (recommended by a friend). She was brilliant and I don't think I would be still alive without her. She gave me a variety of treatments: hypnotherapy, CBT, reiki and taught me how to 'tap'. It really does help to understand one's past and the decisions we made. I was lucky to find someone with whom I could 'connect'. Good luck on your journey - do look for help.

Perhaps we can set up some kind of 'listening service' to help us bounce off our anxieties ?????

Very interesting and thoughtful replies.
I was a sort of counsellor too, in my working life (ed. psych) and we had some training in CBT. Which is a very practical approach, and usually time-limited.
Also in hypnotism, but I didn't like that.
So I hope you find a therapist that suits you, Teetime.
As to cost, as someone said earlier, go to your GP first to see if it will be covered by the NHS.
From my own experience, of a very bad time I was having, one serious problem on top of another. I rang a therapist for help, and they said sorry we have a long waiting list. so I had to cope by myself.
Another point - back in the '80s there was a view that the best person to go to with life problems is a good friend.
If we have such a friend, it's a real blessing .
ps Gransnet helps.

If you are moving areas it might be more helpful to start your therapy in your new area. I am a counsellor myself so obviously think it is beneficial but the relationship is as important as the therapy itself. Try googling counselling directory and then if you put in your post code it will come up with registered qualified counsellors within a certain mile radius of your home. You will then be able to click on their profiles to see where they are, what their experience and qualifications are and how much they charge. You can ring them or email with any queries before you commit to seeing them. I hope you find it helpful but if you and the therapist don't "jel" as much as you'd hoped don't be afraid to try with someone else, you are the customer

Thank you for all these helpful posts. It would be wrong to say I'm glad I'm not the only one having negative thoughts but its reassuring to know that others know what this is like and that counselling and therapy have been helpful. I had a few really helpful pms as well so thank you all so much.

Years ago I went on an introductory counselling course. Although it was 'introductory', we covered several different types of counselling and practised on each other, as well as having a weekend residential course. We were lucky to have first rate well qualified tutors which, I've heard, is not always the case. I'd have liked to take it further, but my employer (college), who had paid for the course, wouldn't fork out for another. During my attendance on the course, my marriage broke down and I found our weekly sessions immensely supportive. Since then, in traumatic situations, I have found the the knowledge and insight I attained in that year have stood me in good stead personally, professionally, as a teacher, and, when I was a CAB adviser, though we were not operating as counsellors, I became a 'good listener'. It may seem as if this is irrelevant to the OP but my point is that it helps to have insight into the methods used by counsellors and therapists. Not that I expect everyone to enrol on counselling courses.

Very helpful comments and certainly some food for thought Azie09. I feel I need some help/support and would like to give counselling a go again. We are just about to relocate from Yorkshire to the Kent area to be nearer our family....causing me much anxiety and not sure whether to start the process here or wait til we move. Just wish I could talk with someone....... Hate this feeling I have much of the time.......

However, on a personal note, I’ve been through just about everything mentioned on here, and much more. I cope by turning them over in my own mind when I feel the need and examining them and coming up with a strategy to cope.

I think it helps that I had a very bad childhood, so developed my own way of dealing with life at a very early age. I’m lucky I could do this I know. Not everybody seems to be able to move on. But these experiences have built up an inner resilience, and for that I’m grateful.

Old Meg....That's very kind of you but it wasn't meant to be offensive to you personally.

However as you are new I forgive you!

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