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self harming

(59 Posts)
Fennel Wed 29-Aug-18 14:58:13

There was a Children's Society report out recently saying that one in four teenage girls are self harming.
That's so shocking. I never came across it in my days working with disturbed adolescents. What has happened?
I find it hard to understand, perhaps the pain inflicted cancels out their emotional pain?
I can't help thinking it's partly fuelled by social media.
Have teenagers always been so prone to unhappiness?

GillT57 Thu 30-Aug-18 12:35:05

On the contrary Blinko, publicity will not incite teenagers to cut or self harm, but it may help those who do to realise that they are not alone, maybe open up to others and ask for help. I thank those brave people on here who admit to having done this themselves, it is not new, what is new is that we are able to talk about, take away the shame and that is to be applauded.

paddyann Thu 30-Aug-18 12:32:39

I think if you look at eating disorders and suicide rates among young people this comes as no shock.I know that when my daughter was young she had friends who had eating disorders and stress related mental health issues.My daughter was in an abusive relationship in her early 20's and she did self harm .
The stress and post traumatic effects were said to be one of the reasons for her health problems now .

Fennel Thu 30-Aug-18 12:16:07

Interesting, inishowen.
I suppose I used to do a similar thing - I had acne, not too bad but I hated it. I used to prick the spot with a pin, which hurt, but got rid of the badness,
I also had a touch of bulimia at one time, early 20s.
Twiceasnice - I know this is a sensitive subject, I should have said surprised rather than shocked.

Grandma70s Thu 30-Aug-18 12:10:55

When I was a child in the 1940s and 1950s I had a friend who was unusually beautiful, but had a difficult personality which became more evident as she hit adolescence. She tended to be jealous and spiteful. Looking back, I think she might have found making friends difficult. After we had drifted apart at the age of 14 or 15 her mother told my mother that she was cutting her arms. My mother and I were completely baffled and puzzled by this. I still am, really.

Since then I never encountered anything about the habit, until this recent bout of publicity. I thought it was just my (ex-) friend.

inishowen Thu 30-Aug-18 12:05:39

I was very unhappy for three years at school due to be caned by three different teachers. I used to bite the skin at the tops of my fingers and it looked very unsightly. It hurt a lot too. I guess this was self harming but not one person commented on it.

GabriellaG Thu 30-Aug-18 11:17:38

wilygran
...and you think that years (decades) ago, people didn't have family or emotional problems?
You couldn't just 'leave school', you had to be 15, or 16 if it was a grammar school. No-one FORCES people onto social media or to spill the beans on every aspect of their lives. Sheep...pure and simple.

GabriellaG Thu 30-Aug-18 11:12:35

Willow500
I wonder how 'we' seniors managed our exams, bullying and pressure in years gone by.
I've no idea why anyone's brain would have a lightbulb moment and decide that cutting oneself would cancel out the stress.
It must only be certain types who resort to that way of thinking as no matter the stress, I would never ever mark or hurt myself.

wilygran Thu 30-Aug-18 10:57:28

The pressures in schools today are much more stressful than many of us experienced. Certainly when I was at secondary school if you didn't like studying or weren't particularly good at it, you just left & got a job. Nobody needed paper qualifications for many jobs, the boss just decided whether you looked sensible and honest! My friends & I worked at jobs in our teens that now you need a sheaf of certificates to even apply for! I'm sure this stress on examination success must have a huge impact, especially on young people who are already troubled by family or emotional problems.

Blinko Thu 30-Aug-18 10:55:25

I am concerned that giving publicity (including social media, peer pressure, etc.) to this alarming practice also gives ideas to those who may not have considered doing it before.

It's hard to believe that a quarter of all fourteen year old girls self harm. Or is that just how it's been reported/interpreted?

Sheilasue Thu 30-Aug-18 10:45:55

Our gd who has lived with us since she was 6 starting self harming when she had been at her secondary school for about 3 years.
We went to the doctor and got a letter for her to attend CAMHS.
She is 18 in October and was put on medication which made such a difference but she started self harming again a few weeks ago. Her doctor at clinic is thinking of upping the medication. It’s so sad for us and so upsetting for us to see this is still ongoing.

jenni123 Thu 30-Aug-18 10:31:36

my daughter (55) self harms regularly and has done for years. She has mental health problems. She says cutting is her 'silent scream' and lets out tension. For years she kept it hidden, wore long sleeved tops etc but now she is quite open about it. Her arms and tops of her legs are scarred from cutting for so long. I know there is nothing I can do to stop her doing this and often see her arms bandaged. Mental health problems are awful and there is often nothing you can do to help the person.

jocork Thu 30-Aug-18 10:30:58

My DD knew a girl when she was at school who cut herself. I'd never heard of it 'til then but I gather it is increasingly prevalent. A friend who is an LSA had a boy grab her scissors and cut himself in class! I assume that is extreme and that most of it is carried out in private.

glammagran Thu 30-Aug-18 10:16:08

When I was in Year 11 (then the 5th form) there was a girl of normal stature who became skeletally thin over the course of the year. She was covered in a fine layer of down which I believe can be a result of anorexia. Eventually she said to a few of us her father had died and her mother blamed her. I never recall any teacher asking her what was going on. I went on to college but later learned she had died.

Purplepoppies Thu 30-Aug-18 10:10:39

Self harming comes in many forms, not necessarily just about cutting ones self. My daughter used to cut herself, often with dirty bits of glass etc. That stopped then she began controlling what she ate. She still has food issues and has to to fight the urge to cut herself. It's a terrible mental illness. I for one am very happy it's being discussed and recognised.

Teacheranne Thu 30-Aug-18 09:55:35

Self harm is indeed prevalent in society today, it probably always was but like many mental illnesses, was not talked about openly in my younger days. I worked as a teacher with responsibility for child protection and this was one of my biggest issues.

My niece was self harming last year and also took an overdose. This was totally down to on line bullying from a group of girls at school. With the rise of the Internet, children are not able to get away from the bullies even at home if they also use social media site - which they do as a matter of course. My niece did not want to go to school the following day after some nasty comment online and knew that her mum would not believe her if she tried to say she was unwell. So she thought taking a few tablets would make her sleepy and look ill but unfortunately she took too many. She ended up vomiting in the early hours of the morning and woke her mother up so she was able to tell her what she had done. Obviously they went to A&E and she was admitted for several days and referred to CAMS for support. We now keep a close eye on her but it is not easy to relax. The "incident" with her friends was a storm in a tea cup but over reaction by teenagers is very common. The self harming seems to have stopped as well and her arms are not too scarred but again, we are alert to the possibility of it happening again.

Hm999 Thu 30-Aug-18 09:49:46

Pressure in schools is greater than it's ever been. Often schools have reduced tutor time enormously and teenagers have lost the relationships that gave them an adult they trusted to open up to. The school libraries used to be a haven for some, the librarians' time is bring cut, so the opening hours are shorter.
Adults both in the home and at school are more stressed due to financial concerns.
Youth workers are having their hours cut.
That's just for starters.
Austerity is not the reason, but it's definitely made things a lot worse.

TwiceAsNice Thu 30-Aug-18 09:48:45

I have worked counselling adolescents ( still do one day a week) for many years. Self harm has always been an issue , always been hidden unless you ask, is more common in girls than boys, but am currently seeing one boy and have known of others. It is usually linked to poor self esteem/ issues around how they perceive their self image or how they see how others perceive it. I believe it has got worse because of the huge uptake in using social media eg how many "likes" you get is a way of how your popularity is measured by your peers sometimes. Good techniques for help include distraction techniques and visualisation but it is hard to shift permanently as it can have a level of addiction. It's not helpful to be shocked as this is seen as criticism and makes young people feel worse. There is some risk that self harm escalates into suicidal feelings but this is not true of all but it should be taken seriously it is not just done for attention .

vickya Thu 30-Aug-18 09:34:42

PECs what is button fed?
Self-harming/cutting gives endorfins, just as running or alcohol or drugs. No, I have not self-harmed but have been told.
also if you google this is just one result
www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-scarred-soul/200910/myths-and-misconceptions-self-injury-part-ii

muffinthemoo Wed 29-Aug-18 21:58:09

Fennel, possibly. I also had treatment for disordered eating into my twenties. I know in my case both issues are fruit of the same poisoned tree, but I don’t like to speak for others.

I eventually as an adult had enough faith in a therapist to let them help me with the cutting. It doesn’t make the feelings go away. I had to learn to confront them and hold on and actually feel them through to the end.

Visualisation of holding red hot coals is part of it, also some breathing techniques. A lot of people report success with ice cubes and elastic bands, but the physical redirection never worked for me.

I could never say I would never do it again - I don’t think you can ever be sure that demon is gone - but I no longer expect to do it again and that is a huge mindshift change for me.

Iam64 Wed 29-Aug-18 21:46:25

The increase in self harm, including eating disorders is

Jane10 Wed 29-Aug-18 21:13:03

Yes I saw that. So about a quarter of the girls who completed a questionnaire on self harming said that they'd self harmed. This was about 1200 girls. How many girls on seeing a questionnaire like that just wouldn't bother to have anything to do with it? I'm not saying self harm isn't a problem because it is for those unfortunate souls that decide to do it but I'm wary of blanket claims that a quarter of all girls self harm.

Fennel Wed 29-Aug-18 20:24:42

This is the most concise link I can find.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-45329030

Jane10 Wed 29-Aug-18 20:15:38

I just want to know the sample selection, sample size and methodology of this study.

Fennel Wed 29-Aug-18 19:55:36

ps As this is such a sensitive subject be sure your user name can't identify you.

Fennel Wed 29-Aug-18 19:52:40

muffin - how did you manage to get the help you needed?
Glad to know that the techniques work for you.