Sadness

I think it is harder as we get older as we have more experience of what can go wrong, how easy it is to be hurt and how easy it is to loose something we care for.

On the other hand we also know that one small thing, an unexpected meeting, being in the right place at the right time can change fortunes. I hope you soon find another job to help you get your independence back. A change of direction perhaps?

I would suggest going to your provider. Depression is a not uncommon problem in older people and it often goes undiagnosed. Your provider may be able to help you decide how best to approach the situation.

So many major events in one year, it sounds as if you are grieving over so many losses. I hope you sort out a job soon and feel more settled with your partner. If the feeling carries on no harm in speaking to your GP.

Helpnana. You’ve had a lot of change and sadness over the last year. Give yourself time to grieve over what you’ve lost and to adjust to your new situation. Moving in with your new partner must be a positive and may give you the encouragement you need to move onwards and upwards.

agnurse, what do you mean by the OP’s provider?

Agnurse what do you mean by OP’s”provider” ?

Agnurse what do you mean by OP’s”provider” ?
Yes, I was wondering that too. Perhaps it means health provider. Is agnurse from the US?

It's certainly not expression we use in the UK

Missing 'an'

Is a provider a US medical practitioner? Pension provider?

According to Mr Wiki it means, as I suggested, a health provider. I can only imagine the term is in common usage in the US.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_professional

Sorry, healthcare provider, not health provider.

I sometimes think our common language more often divides than unites us!

Thank you for responses - posted after finding gransnet by chance and at a very low point last night. The sense of relief after posting took me by surprise, I really needed to offload I imagine - to then have such supportive comments meant i actually got a good nights sleep last night!
The three people (not sure if I can tag people on here??) who mentioned loss, sadness and grief resonated strongly with how I feel.
Thank you again - means a great deal to me?

Oh dear Helpnana doesn’t everything come in bucketloads at once I think you have had a bellyful so now the only way is up The only thing that worries me is that moving your partner in has come in your ‘upset’ list Are you regretting moving him in ?
I lost mum dad and my job all in the same year and didn’t realise how down I went I lost all my reasons for getting up no one to worry about, to care for but I didn’t see that, I was low and obviously coming across as a bit depressed , my daughter told me, she noticed and suggested some St Johns Wort and some voluntary work it took me a while to take it all on board as I thought I was ok, just sad , but I did and although I wouldn’t say I m as joyful as when I was younger I’m not in that empty place any more
I hope you can find some help it’s understandable how you feel but don’t stay there xx

I'm Canadian. I use the term "provider" because not everyone's primary provider is a GP. Some people see a nurse practitioner or physician assistant as their primary healthcare provider. "Provider" is more inclusive than saying "GP".

The problem of national differences! In the UK most, if not all of us, would define our GP as our primary provider, even though we quite often see a nurse.

HelpnanaSome time ago I had a year with lots of knocks. The first few you come out of, but then the constant blows destroy your resilience. It does come back and you do recover, but it takes time.

Be kind to yourself. Accept that all the things that have happened are bound to affect you negatively, seek help, from GP or counsellor, if you think it would help. but do not worry about feeling so down. It will gradually go and you will recover, no time table, no suggestion of how long, just as long as is necessary, meanwhile look after your physical health, do not leave that untended during this difficult period

A year like that will leave you feeling battered and bruised. Good on you for coming on here and talking about how you feel. That shows you have good coping skills and are stronger than you realise.

You will ‘bounce’ back but it will take time. You are feeling the loss of your sibling, your job and the sadness of your daughter and family moving away. That would knock anybody off their feet.

Look to the little things in your life that give you pleasure. As others have said, be kind to yourself, but at the same time don’t be afraid to cry.

MOnica
Thank you that’s very helpful non judgemental advice - thinking about resilience (and it’s absence!) makes sense. I am very much used to being able to bounce back and the elastic feels overstretched right now!
I have thought about self care and health and so have restarted yoga and a better diet in the last few days.
I’m sorry you had a tough time but it’s sounds as though you worked your way out of it which is good and helpful to know.
I had not expected to get so much comfort from posting on here but all these wise words plus the fact that complete strangers took the time to post is lovely.
Do feel better today so thanks again - wishing you all a good day ?

Re providerwith all respect Agnurse I find that a particularly unhelpful term. Actually primary provider isn’t much better.
Depression can well up out of nowhere and in such cases, yes, a medical professional may be the first port of call and pointer towards counselling or medication. But depression arising from specific circumstances will not be “cured” while those circumstances continue. You may be helped to be better equipped to deal with the problems by a friendly listening ear, like Samaritans or indeed a good friend.
Back in the day, people used to talk to their minister or priest. Or confide in a close friend or family member. Gransnet can do a grand job itself!
There are many here judging by other threads too, who are facing problems, loss, bereavement, family issues and I believe strongly that by showing empathy and compassion we can, by helping others, also help ourselves.

helpnana I'm sorry its a sad time for you.

helpnana Sorry you are feeling so sad. I lost my Mother last year, and I feel such a deep sadness, it is there when I go to bed and still there when I wake each day.

My GP offered antidepressants, which I turned down, as they could not bring her back. I do find talking about her helps. When I do not want to physically talk I come to gransnett, you can always find support and virtual friendships here.

Can you start planning a trip to see your daughter? Travel costs could be kept down as schools are back.

Are you able to talk to your partner about how you feel? I have not confided in my H as much as I probably should have.

Bouncing back is not an easy art! You have had a difficult year and I think you need to take it slowly - introduce a new achievement (however tiny) each day and take it steady. You will get there.

helpnana, I have been through a rough time recently, take it a day at a time, bad days will be followed by good days. X

I'm not saying you have depression, that's not my call. If you have depression or low mood its a nasty thing.

If you break your arm for example, the rest of you is reasonably ok. You may get some attention and help. Depression is where all the strands intertwine to conspire against you. Also mental health issues are still regarded with suspicion or as a sign of weakness.

Exercise is recommended but you can't face it. Healthy eating is recommended but you can't be bothered. Keeping busy/volunteering is recommended but you can hardly get out of the bed in the morning. The negative voices in your head are going full blast and there is no respite.

I would say loss and grief are at the bottom of a lot of these feelings and then the brain chemicals become distorted. Anyway best of luck OP. Don't let it linger, see your GP.