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Xmas Sadness

(66 Posts)
BlueSky Thu 25-Oct-18 13:59:02

Does Xmas make you sad? And I don't mean if you have reasons to be like a bereavement, illness, loved ones far away or similar. While it's lovely all the Season's paraphernalia make me sad, carols have me in floods of tears, dreading them played in stores as I have to make a hasty retreat to the Ladies...?

Greciangirl Fri 26-Oct-18 14:29:54

It doesn’t make me sad. It makes me feel anxious and a bit low.
I never enjoy it, or the run up to it.
Even with toddler grandchild.

It’s all so false, isn’t it.
And essentially it’s a Christian tradition and I’m a non believer.

moggie57 Fri 26-Oct-18 14:18:01

yes christmas makes me very sad, because loved ones are not here, while everyone is happy..and getting christmassy. last year i was on my own..and was unhappy. last year my daughter lost her husband to heart related problems he was 37. it was so very hard to be happy. but on the whole christmas is not what it used to be.,.too much money spent on a load of plastic c**p....and the reason of the season has gone down hill .if it wasnt for my church ,my daughter and grandchildren i would not bother.if i could have a wish i would wish my my mum and dad were here for christmas.

BlueSky Fri 26-Oct-18 14:13:03

Thanks ladies glad it's not just me nowadays I tend to put everything down to depression. It's just an overwhelming feeling, I do like Xmas but yes the brass band of the Salvation Army just does it! Whether subconsciously we remember Xmas past I'm not sure, does it just happen when we are older? ?☃️

Dontaskme Fri 26-Oct-18 14:04:18

I've only gone and done it again TREES!!!!

Dontaskme Fri 26-Oct-18 14:03:54

Tress not tress obv!

Dontaskme Fri 26-Oct-18 14:02:31

Willow10 I'm glad its not just me too but that sounds mean! I've always loved Christmas BUT have cried at the sight of fairy lights, decorated tress, the Sal Dabs collecting, adverts - you name it, I've cried about it! Crap has happened recently that gives me cause to blub but that's life and never had a reason before but still did!.

Willow10 Fri 26-Oct-18 13:52:47

I know exactly what you mean BlueBelle I'm glad to know it's not just me! confused

BlueBelle Fri 26-Oct-18 13:47:11

Willow I cry at brass bands too I ve never worked out why ?it’s not that I love them or anything I like them but I love other forms of music more, so it’s not that I ve never worked it out I well up whatever they are playing or whether I recognise the piece of music or not ???

sarahellenwhitney Fri 26-Oct-18 13:29:52

NannyC2 .What about the other 364 days ?.

Willow10 Fri 26-Oct-18 13:13:13

The saddest thing for me is waking up alone on Christmas day. Even though I'm getting together with the family later, it's never the same as hearing the excited squeals of children.

Willow10 Fri 26-Oct-18 13:10:33

I don't know what it is about brass bands but I only have to hear them playing Carols and I'm in bits! You feel such a fool crying in public. One time I got on a bus to town and as I stepped off, I heard the Salvation Army band playing. I gulped back the tears, turned around and got straight back on the bus home!

Tillybelle Fri 26-Oct-18 13:00:30

BlueSky Thank you. It overwhelms me. I broke down the second Christmas of my marriage while writing cards. that was 1971. Since then I have never coped.

I dread it. I have also gained very sad reasons for dreading it, since, but do have happy ones, yet I can't pick myself up.

Last year I tried to keep up the smiling as usual with my DCh and DGC around. I was tearing apart inside. I actually think I need help. I felt so acutely alone amidst the younger generation and the children.

madmum38 Fri 26-Oct-18 12:53:30

I do find it hard though enjoy it for the family but always makes me remember it as a kid,it had a special feel to it then but that has long gone. Would have relatives over and of course my brothers all there,now one brother is gone and I never see the others.
Will be especially hard this year though remembering losing my husband last Christmas.

newnanny Fri 26-Oct-18 12:49:40

I don't get sad at Christmas but do recall the Christmases of my childhood. How i wish I still had my dear Mum and Dad and aunties to share Christmas with. I do however have two sons still living at home and a daughter who will visit with grandchildren sometime over Christmas or New Year. I do love to make stockings for grandchildren. Actually one of the things i enjoy most about Christmas is writing out Christmas cards and Christmas movies and having a lie in with dh who usually gets up early as he still works.

GabriellaG Fri 26-Oct-18 12:27:18

Yes, it does. I remember the wonderful magical Christmases I had as a child and those I shared with my (now adult) children.
I remember my youngest son singing carols from a book and holding a lantern as he called door to door, receiving chocolates, gifts and money. I made sure he sang more than the well known verses and he was sometimes joined by his younger sister. He donated the money to the Salvation Army after I converted the cash into a cheque but he wrote the accompanying letter and envelope. As he was too small to reach the post box he had to be lifted. His face was a picture of happiness.
I feel really blessed as a mother, they mean everything to me.

Anniebach Fri 26-Oct-18 12:22:00

I am with sandelf, Christmas isn’t in tinsel and shop windows.

NannyC2. Same for me, and that knowledge knowing that millions around the world are sharing the rejoicing of the birth of the Christ Child with us

BlueSky Fri 26-Oct-18 12:20:54

Yes Lemongrove I did say those who feel sad at Xmas not because of any actual reason. Therefore it's another aspect of depression I guess...

lemongrove Fri 26-Oct-18 11:38:15

No, Christmas displays don’t make me feel sad, although completely understand that those who are now alone, or recently bereaved feel that way ( although the OP said not for those reasons.)
I quite enjoy browsing all the Christmas bits and bobs.

crazyH Fri 26-Oct-18 11:37:02

Yes, it does make me sad......nostalgic.!!

NannyC2 Fri 26-Oct-18 11:06:28

Dora, I'd be interested to know where you live as I am really concerned about your lack of community?

Jane43 Fri 26-Oct-18 11:04:44

My father and my father-in-law both died very close to Christmas so there is always some sadness for us. They both died in their early fifties when we were in our early twenties so we always reflect on how much of our lives they have missed.

NannyC2 Fri 26-Oct-18 11:01:40

For me, Christmas signifies the birth of Christ, so it is the happiest day of the year.
I take on board all the losses and sadnesses of people which happen in all our lives, but rejoice, knowing that Love has been poured out for us. We all need love to strengthen and give meaning to life and to try and help all those around us when we are able to offer help.
When I visit the sick, elderly and lonely, nothing gives me greater joy than to see the smile on their faces knowing that they have not been forgotten and they can share their thoughts and concerns.

sandelf Fri 26-Oct-18 10:48:29

And I'm with AnnieBach - the true spirit of Christmas is not to be found on the high street.

sandelf Fri 26-Oct-18 10:46:59

I avoid involvement wherever practical. I think it stems from the feeling that however good my life is, someone somewhere is 'doing it better' - the view strengthened by all the adverts and articles - I know how to buy and wrap presents, how to make a lovely meal etc etc. But year after year one is told there is a better way. It is all to serve commerce. It is oddly comforting to know I am very much not alone in this!! May we all reach January in a calm state of mind.

Hm999 Fri 26-Oct-18 10:38:21

All the fake hype, all the manipulations of family staying here one year and there the other, all the inappropriate presents. All the waste of money. You can keep it. Yes that makes me sad