Prolapse

I would have a word with her GP about this as they can arrange ambulances for hospital check-ups etc also temporary post-op care in the home.

I have had two prolapse repairs, you do feel very weak afterwards, for about 6 weeks, but you can walk around the house, though I am guessing at 85 it will knock more out of you. Would you be able to stay for one week afterwards?

If she lives independently now, then you can stock the freezer with ready meals, she can heat those up, and you can arrange online deliveries of groceries and essentials.

I doubt the two hour journey down to you would be a problem, if that makes life easier, but of course she needs to stay locally at least until she has had her stitches out (if they are not self dissolving).

What she would not be able to do is lift things, I was told not to lift anything heavier than a kettle. So she will need help with the washing, ironing (I know some of you will say 'what's that' but some of us can't sleep in unironed sheets ), and cleaning, but perhaps you could pay for someone recommended by her neighbours to come in, unless they themselves can help out?

You sound a lovely caring daughter, I hope it all goes smoothly and you get your old mum back in a few weeks.

My mother had a prolapse op many years ago in her late 60s and recovered over a few weeks easily. As far as I remember she had what was described to her as an internal “lift” secured by stitches. I didn’t research it at the time but I wonder if she really knew what she was having done. Hers was an uterine prolapse and was not at the most severe end of the spectrum. It was, however entirely successful.

There are, however several options re surgery as you know, including all sorts from hysterectomy and the really controversial “mesh” treatment.

Could you get to go with her to her next appointment and find out what is planned? At this point she doesn’t seem aware of the actual body parts that have prolapsed. Then you’d be in a much better position to see what might lay ahead and be able to plan accordingly.

Good luck MamaCaz - I hope you get something sorted soon. It is quite a worry living far away when surgery is involved.

Here’s a link to some NHS info on treatments though:
www.england.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/pelvic-organ-prolapse-mesh-leaflet-v12.pdf

I agree with EV and speak to her GP who wil be able to arrange care at home or arrange a respite package locally for say 2 weeks then have carers come in for a month or so.
My DD has just had keyhole surgery for removal of womb and whilst she is so much younger the procedure really took it out of her and we have just looked after her for the past 6 weeks.Best of luck to your mum xx

Just a thought - would it help if she had the surgery in your local hospital? I’m sure it could be transferred especially with the need for care afterwards. I agree with those who say don’t underestimate how much care she will need once she’s home.

And don’t overestimate how much care will be available once she’s home - it will be less than she needs and then some

The hospital should arrange 6 weeks of care for your mum as standard (unless it's changed)

After the 6 weeks, she should be assessed, to see if it needs to be ongoing.

Thank you for all your answers - they have given me a lot of food for thought.

It is very unlikely that I will be able to go up to attend Mum's next appointment with her, but there a couple of people who would be willing to go with her if they are available, one of whom used to be a nurse, so is always a very useful companion.

I should be able to manage to go and stay for the first week after the op - it would cause a few problems for my children regarding childcare, and I would lose some of my small but very importand income, but when needs must ... . Any longer really isn't possible for several reasons.

That is a good idea about looking into temporary post-op care in the home. That hadn't occurred to me (though I am not sure Mum would agree to it).

I hadn't considered the possibility of trying to get the op done at a hospital near us, either.
Assuming that was possible, we would have to consider the suitability of our house for her recuperation: we have a spare bedroom that she uses now if when she comes for a few days. However, the stairs are very steep and narrow. Would she even be able to get up and down them soon after the op? Downstairs, apart from the kitchen, we only have a tiny lounge, with barely enough room for our chairs, so no way whatsoever we could put a bed in there, even temporarily.

I know, it's impossible to answer my questions fully when we don't even know yet exactly what operation she will be having, but I am trying to get as full a picture of the different possible scenarios and solutions at this early stage so that I have some suggestions ready for Mum before she really starts panicking - which will be quite soon, I imagine.

Thank you again ☺

MissAdventure

Thanks, that is useful to know. I've just Googled it and this type of care (intermediate care, reablement or aftercare) does still seem to be available, free for up to six weeks.
As you can tell, I am new to all of this so have no idea what to expect!

You need to make sure that the six weeks of care is arranged whilst your mum is in hospital, but before she leaves, MamaCaz.
Once she has been discharged it can't be done retrospectively.

The will be a duty social worker you can ask to see whilst she is in hospital, but you will probably need to make a nuisance of yourself to ensure you see them.

Be aware that the hospital often discharge someone on very, very short notice when you're least expecting it.
Good luck!