Moving from a care home into another facility

I just want to say how sorry I am to hear you are going through this.
I was told on Mar 3rd my H could not stay in his care home as his needs had changed.
He had only been there 4 months and I was very upset.
In fact he fell, was taken inti hospital and the care home wouldn't have him back so the matter became urgent.
I was told that Age UK would help me to make choices but in the event my H was discovered to have advanced ,aggressive cancer and died last Thursday.
Does your SiL have a social worker? He/she should be your first point of call and then contact Age UK.
Good luck.

annsixty, I am so sorry to hear of your DH's death. You have chronicled your last few years looking after him at home and then having him admitted to a care home so openly and warmly, I think many of us, when the time comes for us to be in your position, will feel the benefit of having read your posts.

There are many people on GN whose hearts and thoughts will be with you over this sad time. If you wish to continue posting please do, our support and love is continuing.

Elizabeth1, my experience is that Social Services and medical services involved will help you. That is the practical sight.

How you manage the social and psychological issues I am less sure, it will depend on the person, but when my uncle was transferred from care home to nursing home via hospital where cancer was diagnosed, his mind was too far gone to even remember the previous home after a few days, or, sadly, anything else.

We moved my FiL from an ordinary residential care home to a nursing one, after his physical health deteriorated. But he had dementia, which may have made a difference.

Also an aunt, from an ordinary residential to a specialist dementia, since her dementia had worsened and she had begun to bother the other residents. However the CH had told us that this might eventually be the case.

Both moves went well, much better than we'd expected, though dementia does probably make a difference, since by then their short term memories were practically gone.

They were both self funded so we largely arranged the moves ourselves, though with help/input/recommendations from the original care homes. We didn't need to involve social services at all.

Really sorry you are having to consider this, it’s really difficult.
I have had to do this both personally and professionally. My mum had Alzheimer’s and whilst I managed for as long as I could I had to admit defeat when she was found wandering next to the river at 3.15am!
I was also a nursing sister in charge of an acute dementia unit.
There are a few things I would recommend, firstly make sure you choose a home that is not only a care home suitable for her needs but it is also a nursing home. By this I mean it has qualified nurses, if her condition deteriorates in the future this will mean that you won’t have to go through the upheaval of looking for a nursing home and having to move her.
Make sure you have a good look at what’s available your care manager should give you a list of availability. Don’t make an appointment just call in, if they are any good they won’t mind and will let you look around and answer any questions.
All homes should let you move some personal possessions in as this helps people settle.
I was advised not to visit my mum for the first week as it gave her a chance to settle. Whilst I was a bit hesitant at first it actually worked, mum settled no problem. I phoned every day!
Don’t take anything of value into the home, it’s not a case of mistrust it’s just that if you have a number of ‘confused’ patients who remove jewellery etc it’s very difficult often to locate the items.
It’s the same on a hospital ward, I would like a £1 for the number of times I’ve had to search for rings or items of jewellery.
Hope this helps

So sorryAnn Sixty?

I'm not sure about AgeUk's help. It may be regional?

When we had to move mum we had some help from her social worker (who was lovely) and we looked at a publication by our local paper which listed all the local homes along with their categorisation.

We then looked at the cqc report just to check there was nothing appalling.

Do not get too hung up on the cqc reports though. Visiting and finding a home that feels right is a much better method. Scuffed paint doesnt count a jot if the staff are kind, gentle and engaged.

Mum changed homes via a stay in a dementia unit. That was horrendous.

Very sorry to hear about this problem, Elizabeth1 . I remember one of the questions I asked when looking at homes for my mother was whether they could guarantee continuity of care, and was told exactly what you are experiencing now, which I suppose shouldn't have been the shock it was, as they had no nursing staff.

My Mum was in a carehome and had Dementia. She became ill and was in hospital for 3 weeks. I was then told she needed a nursing home as her needs could not be met in her present home. I had to visit many nursing homes to find the right one. The move went smoothly for her and I took her clothes and emptied her bedroom in the previous care home. I did have meetings with my Mum’s social worker who was very helpful. When looking for a home visit then at different times to get a feeling of the care given by the staff. Check that the staff speak to the residents kindly and that they are very caring. I did have couple of problems with the nursing home but the social worker quickly sorted them out. Good luck with your search fir a suitable home for your sister-in-law.

annsixty so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband sending all my condolences at this sad time.((hugs))

annsixty so sorry to hear of your recent loss and how you are managing during this period of mourning to listen to my woes.

The Care home manager is brilliant explaining to my sister in law’s husband how things are. He’s a poor thing at the moment and struggles to comprehend very much.

It looks like we’ve got 2 vulnerable relatives to look after and things will only develop further.

Thank you everyone I’ll keep you updated with any progress made.

I have managed care homes in the past, very rarely did residents go on to nursing homes,the care staff with help from district nurse provided the care until the end. Nursing are much more expensive as trained staff must always be on duty, some times at night on call. Your s.i.l. must be well settled now so a move might upset her,could not a care plan with district nurse be utilised

I think that must visit from home to home or LA area to LA area, but quite a number of people were moved from my uncle and aunt's care home to nursing homes and they were in a very good home run by a big chain.

My uncle had been in hospital and diagnosed with bladder cancer and the family had decided against any invasive procedures because he had advanced vascular dementia and we felt it would be too distressing for him. When he came out of hospital he went to a nursing home for the last few months of his life.

This happened to an aunt who was in a lovely care home where she was very happy. However, after a stay in hospital, the care home said that they could not have her back again as she had begun to develop dementia. Her family had to trawl around nursing homes to find another suitable place for her - it was very difficult as she had not owned a property and had limited means.
They did find a suitable nursing home where she was happy for several years.

I don't remember them having much help from the authorities.

Dear Annie, I haven’t been keeping up with GN as much lately so didn’t know about your DH’s death. I’m very sorry to hear about it and would like to second M0nica’s post at 9.51 this morning. She has said exactly what I would have liked to have said but far more articulately than I could as usual.

You have all been very kind in your posts, thankyou.
I am trying to adjust, it is very hard.

annsixty - very sorry to hear of your recent bereavement .

Elizabeth1 - I am in the same position with my dad (93) at the moment. We have had some very good advice from an independent charity called Independent Age - www.independentage.org, Helpline 0800 319 6789.
We are awaiting a Social Services assessment and Continuing Health Care assessment of dad before choosing a home. It is perplexing and worrying. We just have to do the best we can.

A year ago, due to too many falls and another episode in hospital my mothers care home refused to have her back. She moved on to a nursing home.

She isn't self funding, the sw gave us three nursing home options to consider. I looked around for myself but so many homes had no places to offer, waiting lists everywhere.

Luckily I did like one of the three. It didn't have all the bells and whistles but did have a good vibe. Mum settled well and says it's the best place she's been, the people are very nice.
There was a hiccup as nursing homes are more expensive. The hospital SW should have assessed mum whilst in hospital for the extra funding needed but didn't. Mum was an interim stay on 6 weeks in the nursing home but the lovely manager kept a full time place available on the QT whilst it took forever to sort.

We had to move my father from his long term nursing home to another as the one he was in closed down. We received no help in finding either placement even though he had a social worker. My sister and I spent days and weeks driving round visiting homes.

The first thing to notice when you visit is the smell. Secondly, don’t visit your relatives on regular days / times. Not knowing when you will be coming in keeps the staff on their toes, shall we say.
I’m sorry for your problems.

This really is a minefield.
I was reasonably happy with the care home I chose for my H, he seemed setyled although, as is said by so many other people, his mobility plummeted and his dementia increased.
I must be fair and say I think this would have happened wherever he went.
However as soon as he started the decline the care home wanted him out.
This was after less than 4 months.
I visited at least 3 times a week and often 4, I never saw many other visitors.
When he was admitted to hospital I knew they would never have him back.
It was discovered that he had terminal cancer on a Monday, the hospital rang the care home to ask if he could go back on end of life care with help from the DN.
They said no as he may get better, this is absolutely true, I asked the ward sister to ring them and confirm that this was their answer, they said yes.
He died 10 days later.

Ann sixty so sorry to hear your sad news. In our prayers x

I had to move my mum and was very pessimistic but it worked out well as the extra care required was desperately needed and she benefited from the move. It only took a couple of days to settle as the second place was a much better fit after she deteriorated.

From my experience SS will only be interested in helping if you don't have the funds to pay for care yourselves and then you'll be steered towards wherever they know there's a place that meets LA spending criteria. You need to go and visit some homes, check out what level of care they provide and at the end of the day it's all down to how you feel about the place. When my DM need to go into care with dementia we looked at several homes and the one with the flashy surroundings came bottom of our list as it was very cold and impersonal. Residents want somewhere homely and comfortable with staff to match not bells and whistles and we were happy to place Mum somewhere she felt comfortable and looked after.

It can be very time consuming, but IMO visiting care homes yourself is really the only way. Having looked at masses for both FiL and my mother, I'd always discount any that ask you to make an appt. for just an initial look around. And trust your instincts - if it doesn't feel right then it probably isn't.

Might add that the worst I ever visited by a long shot, was very expensive and the most 'luxurious' - on paper, and possibly at casual first sight.

An elderly aunt of dh's (no dementia) put herself there for a month, while her cleaning lady/helper was away.
Despite outward appearances - plush and sea views etc. - it was horrible. The staff were surly and miserable, the atmosphere was not at all welcoming. When I once happened to visit the aunt at lunchtime, I was very curtly told I couldn't stay in the dining room, I was in the way. (I was in nobody's way.).
The aunt couldn't wait to leave.
The atmosphere was so radically different from the CHs we eventually chose for FiL and my mother - so warm, cosy and welcoming.
However it was a very useful lesson in not judging by appearances, 'luxury', or bells and whistles.