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Black Dog Gang 4

(441 Posts)
Anniebach Mon 19-Aug-19 21:46:12

Hi, new thread x

Doodle Tue 22-Oct-19 23:22:31

Oh annie I don’t believe it. You waited all this time and the rails too big. That’s ridiculous. Hope you can get it changed.
salsa my DH is up many times every night with overactive bladder. He gets so tired. I am sorry you have this too.
nonnie hope your Thursday goes ok. I was going to type try not to worry about it tomorrow but then I know how hard it is not to worry when something is on your mind. I think we all long for bed sometimes just to go to sleep and forget our troubles for a bit.
flutterby if I have something on my mind that is causing me to worry then it takes over a bit. I try not to think about it but it is very difficult if it is causing me concern and on those occasions I have the dodgy tum, heart beating too much and my mind won’t calm down. I think we are all like that when we have worries.

Anniebach Tue 22-Oct-19 22:34:05

Can’t afford to pay builders Salsa, I was paying my brother by working without pay.

I will ask about the hand rail, if they can change it ? How long would it take them, they certainly don’t rush 😀

SalsaQueen Tue 22-Oct-19 22:27:29

Anniebach Oh, that's sad, Annie. Is there anyone else who could build the shelter? Any voluntary group that might be able to help? I hope something gets done about the handrail - I assumed they'd all be the same size, but perhaps the council can give you a smaller one?

Anniebach Tue 22-Oct-19 21:42:12

I feel rather down Salsa, I keep trying to overcome the agoraphobia, bought Fred, arranged for someone from the Red Cross to accompany me out on Fred to gain confidence, then my brother said he was to busy to finish building the shelter for me to park Fred in.

Waited months for the hand rail , to big for my hand to hold onto it.

Will keep trying though, don’t know how yet needs some thought

SalsaQueen Tue 22-Oct-19 18:11:37

Anniebach Yes, it's a real nuisance. Oh no, the handrail is too big? Will the council be able to change it or alter it in some way?

Anniebach Tue 22-Oct-19 17:56:50

Hi all x

Glad you liked me sending the flowers I wish I could have taken them but perhaps next year, I haven’t been home since the agoraphobia kicked in. Even after all these years walking through the memorial garden bring such mixed feelings, how happy I was going to that school, how I felt as I watched little bodies being carried out from the same school.

*Salsa, poor you, how uncomfortable, and such broken sleep.

flutterbye yes Dr Weekes was ahead of her time, she has helped so many.

nonnie I see a physiotherapist who has given me exercises, muscles are very wasted.

The hand rail was fitted this morning, it is too big for my twisted hands to grasp! grrrrrr

Flutterby1 Tue 22-Oct-19 17:24:07

Hi friends.
Annie did you get the hand rail fixed up? I also read the Aberfan thread - what a thoughtful lady you are Annie - thank you also from me.
Have wee question folks. If you are not doing anything does this make you bit Anxious/restless ? with bit of a butterfly /churny tum perhaps? What do you do?
Thanks

Nonnie Tue 22-Oct-19 17:22:16

nanny I think I understand that. Are you a position to move? Can you wait until it has been a year? We are advised not to make important decisions too soon after bereavement.

I haven't heard anything about Dr Weeks so will put looking it up on my todolist. Motivation is my issue most days.

annie you recognise that your muscles will be week so perhaps you can start with a few simple stretches? Maybe moving your ankles more than normal and then whatever muscle group you feel you can. This situation has to be slow to improve, little by little. I know from experience how easy it is to overdo it and cause damage so please take it gently.

Just been out for a very long lunch with some old friends. It made me feel fit and young because she has so much wrong with her and even needs help cutting up her food. We left the restaurant with her on her walker and she fell over. She said she had hurt her shoulder and hip but wouldn't go to hospital. A couple of young guys drove up and lifted her into her wheelchair for which we were very grateful. When I see someone like her I do feel grateful for what I have.

Salsa sounds difficult.

Doodle not sure I relax on lazy days, always feel I should be achieving something, that is why I envy you. Most days I just can't wait for bedtime. Got a day tomorrow when I don't have to do anything and then 'gird my loins' for a difficult day on Thursday.

SalsaQueen Tue 22-Oct-19 16:43:50

Annie and Doodle I get up about 4 times every night, so my sleep is always broken. I'm sick of it, to be honest. I've had this problem for about 12 years or more. It makes life awkward, as wherever I go, I'm constantly wondering where the toilets are. Never mind, there are worse problems to have, and I know how lucky I am with so many things.

Doodle Mon 21-Oct-19 23:33:51

Just read the Aberfan thread and found out about the flowers you send annie. What a lovely gesture. Thank you 💕

Doodle Mon 21-Oct-19 23:19:03

annie even though it was so long ago, the Aberfan disaster brings back memories of such shock and horror. More so for you being so close. Such a sad day.
nonnie there is nothing wrong with lazy days if you can just relax. If I find my mind is dwelling on things it shouldn’t, I spend a little time in prayer and then get up and do something to distract myself.
nanny I really hope you can get some relief from this pain you are suffering at the moment. Are you anywhere near moving yet?
salsa you poor girl you must be worn out. I hope you get help with your problem soon.
I will have a listen to YouTube flutterby thanks for the suggestion.
Take care all of you x

Flutterby1 Mon 21-Oct-19 22:42:18

Hi Anniebach I have a book by Dr Claire Weekes that I refer to. I think she sure was before her time. One amazing, clever lady. There are lots of Dr Claire Weekes post on you tube. Would recommend folks to have a listen to them.
Hope all goes well with hand rail tomorrow and let’s hope it is a nice sunny day for you - sending you positive thoughts.
Night night all x

Anniebach Mon 21-Oct-19 22:08:29

Salsa, 25 times ? Do you get much sleep ?

SalsaQueen Mon 21-Oct-19 22:02:01

Anniebach I hope you get on OK., both with the Age Cymru and with the handrail. I'm OK, thanks, a bit fed-up of this bladder problem (overactive bladder) but am being referred to a Urologist. Weeing 25 times a day (I kid you not)is seriously tedious.

Anniebach Mon 21-Oct-19 21:34:12

Hi all x

nonnie I do think your two sons connected x

Salsa I will contact Age Cymru, I will need company getting use to the hand rail. How are you ? X

nannie still no further with moving house ?

flutterby do read Claire Weekes books, x

The hand rail is being fitted tomorrow ! legs so weak will have to try just a few steps and build up, it’s the start of beating the wretched agoraphobia.

53 years ago today at 9.30am I experienced my very first panic attack ! only help then was the tranquilizers, thank heaven things are moving on from those things

nanny2507 Mon 21-Oct-19 19:20:43

nonnie I am trying so hard to stay positive. Tank is still on my mind every single day..and i mean everyday. I need to move as when i am away from this place i can think of him and just tuck it away but as soon as i get close to home the tears start as it is where he was stolen from and i just cant forget that.

Nonnie Mon 21-Oct-19 11:05:31

Thanks nanny & Doodle

Seems like things are looking up a bit for you nanny.

Doodle thanks for that post, I really struggle on days when I can't 'achieve' so it is good to hear that someone else has lazy days.

Doodle Sun 20-Oct-19 22:01:35

whywhywhy welcome. Yes we all struggle on this thread. Some good days some bad. I too think you should see a GP if you are feeling so bad. Medication may help.
nonnie that’s a lovely post.😊
Had a bit of a lazy day today just doing puzzles and reading the paper. Might have an early night and read a book for a bit.
Sleep well all 💕

nanny2507 Sun 20-Oct-19 20:22:40

I have felt good this last 2 days. Had a beautiful video call with my gd yesterday morning showing me her dinosaur pictures and telling me what they were called. Seeing my daughter on Tuesday I cant wait. Then the following week I see my gd the absolute reason I wake every day. Xx

nanny2507 Sun 20-Oct-19 20:19:04

nonnie how lovely that your ds "heard* his brother and was led by him xxxx

SalsaQueen Sun 20-Oct-19 18:13:41

MaggieTulliver Mirtazapine certainly increases the appetite, particularly, I found, for bread and other starchy foods. I gained about 10lbs, (but I'm overweight anyway)but I keep active by doing Zumba, aqua aerobics and Salsa dancing. I would far rather be overweight without depression than suffering! I haven't heard about Mirtazapine being unsuitable for older people - I'm 60 and have been on it for about a year.

whywhywhy Don't try to cope with it without medication. Depression and anxiety are very real illnesses and often need medical help. I understand about your little cat. I've always had cats. My 18 yr old cat was put to sleep 18 months ago, after various health problems. Your little one is really elderly, but you must have looked after her well, for her to have lasted all this time.

Anniebach I hope you manage, with the handrail, to get outside for a while. Yes, a voice on the telephone is very different to listening to the tv and radio. Have you ever thought about Crossroads Care or similar? A friend of mine does voluntary work for AgeUK and she visits people in their homes, just for a chat and cup of tea, for an hour or 2, once or twice a week.

Nonnie Sun 20-Oct-19 16:50:23

A positive (I think). Had a call from DS who was doing something difficult physically when he 'hit a wall'. He was listening to random music when suddenly a song came on which reminded him strongly of his dead brother and he felt his brother was pushing him on to complete. He finished in a park and heard loud music playing the song which was played at the end of his brother's funeral. He said people look for things like this but he hadn't believed it. Now he is firmly convinced his brother was 'with him' and encouraging him to finish. We all cried but it was comforting also.

grapefruitpip Sun 20-Oct-19 15:20:46

Nobody gets a medal for " staying off" medication.

Would you say to a diabetic " Well done, you have managed without".

Please folks, no need to suffer more, see a good GP.

Flutterby1 Sun 20-Oct-19 15:18:24

Hi friends. You are getting good advice here why why why.
I was ok this morning and after lunch went out to get some bits and bobs. Was looking around few shops but not really in the mood. Ended up coming back home ate bag of crisps while the tears were running down my face. Why? Still have this family problem lurking which has no quick fix. Going to try whar Dr Claire Weekes suggests in looking at the problem from a different perspective. Think I am also worrying about Christmas which I was looking forward to but not so much now. Tears gone now. Think I might have a cup of tea.

whywhywhy Sun 20-Oct-19 13:03:56

Thank you.