Being fat and out of control - fat shaming

I agree that you are brave seacliff. There will be many people who feel as you do. I used to work with an 18 year old girl who was very overweight and very unhappy. She told me that she ate because she is miserable and was miserable because she ate but eating was a comfort to her for the short time she was enjoying her food.

Your post has triggered tears here seacliff, I hope with all my heart it will make people who are able to be slim understand even if just a little. It’s very cruel to judge people on their physical size, I’m not sure why anyone would think it’s an OK thing to do. Like many older women I am heavier than I would like to be but I know I’m neither addicted to food nor in obese spectrum so I so it’s unreasonable to compare my frustration with myself to yours. You say you know your food addiction is emotionally based. I have no wish to pry and simply offer a thought that a psychological therapist could help you move on from over eating and be comfortable with yourself again. You’re a brave woman, I wish you well and please talk here whenever it he,ps.

I followed the link. Good on James Corden.

I read you post on the other thread seacliffand felt very moved by it.

Your pain at being fat and out of control reminded me of a young addict who was a slave to heroin. It became her life, it became what she lived for.

Food does have the same addictive qualities. Fat people have the same mental triggers for food, the same addictive behaviour..

Who amongst us hasn't had that one too many alcoholic drink, because it makes us feel carefree and happy? Who knows the feeling a ciggy gives during a bad day? Used for stress relief? (I have never smoked btw)

I know for a fact a doughnut is likely to lure me towards it and is far more tempting than an apple sitting in a fruit bowl.

I am sure it is possible to stuff down all sorts of feelings with food. I have gained weight yet I have never been a glutton or lover of junk food. I liked myself a lot more when I was thin and able to climb, run, abseil, play tennis, etc. I cannot do those things now, because of illness and medication. It's not fair that the medication I have to take makes me feel tired. It's not fair that other tablets I take every single day can cause weight gain.

I am mobile and value my mobility but now I hate having my photo taken. I hide behind others. I hate being asked to walk up long hills because I know I'll feel very ill at the end of the walk. I can almost 'feel' people making assumptions about my size, and I am not hugely overweight! I fully understand how being bigger and different feels all of a sudden and I can understand how unhappy being overweight can lead to eating for happiness. It's madness, but when you don't love yourself you don't care that much, I suppose?

Diets don't work for me, but healthy eating, with the odd treat and indulgence is now my way of life, and I resent it, slightly. I have never been a glutton but I firmly believe there is such a thing as food addiction - no brakes on the appetite - and I feel for people caught in that trap. They do not need to be fat-shamed or made the object of abuse or ridicule, disgust or laughter. They are people, with the same feelings as everyone else.

Oh, and they all KNOW the theory, eat less and move more. So why don't they do that? Ask yourselves why? If it were only as simple as loving being slim more than loving food....

seacliff I hope writing your post has helped in some way.
I wish you well ?????

Hi Seacliff, you are right eating can be an addiction just like smoking and extremely hard to stop. I tried all sorts of diets but found it extremely hard to keep to. Just love cakes and sweets things. I was overweight for years and years not any longer and its not due to my self control its due mainly to an ongoing illness that give me very little appetite, in fact I can now go with just one very small meal a day and a few snacks. But I do exercise, mostly cycling as its weight bearing and doesn't hurt my joints. You are right we need to bring back cooking and nutrition in schools and have children doing more exercise, not only in schools but at home. Walking to school and clubs instead of being transported around by parents.

I would never ever fat shame anyone having been there.

Seacliff
I think that's one of the saddest posts I've read on GN.
Is there nowhere that you could get help?
What about hypnosis?
I wish you well ???

It's not easy is it? I'm not very overweight maybe half a stone, but would love to get rid of this roll around my middle but it's not going. When my daughter was in her early 30s, she became very overweight and she was very unhappy. My DH used to say to me 'tell her'. It used to drive me mad. As if the poor girl didn't know! She eventually lost four and a half stone with sheer willpower - no slimming clubs or fads. She did remarkably well but it was hard. People shouldn't judge.

Gagajo

I think I was on some sort of diet for most of my adult life, but I’m fed up with it now, nothing really seems to work anymore, so I don’t diet at all, I haven’t weighed myself for years, I rely on my clothes to tell me if I’m getting fatter. I am definitely too fat, but at least I think I’ve been pretty static for the last few years.

seacliff

Your story has made me feel really sad, perhaps we should all stop and think a bit before assuming all overweight people are lazy or greedy.

I’m definitely fatter than I should be, but I’m far from being obsessed with food, but I am a picker, I think for many of us, our relationships with food is very complicated.

My bloke, who is and has always been, as skinny as a rake, can be quite judgemental about fat people. He eats a LOT more than me, loves chocolate etc. He also happens to be a lifelong smoker.

Despite his built in prejudices, even HE admits that it is hard for fat people (like me). Smokers, alcoholics, drug addicts can STOP doing their addiction. The fat still have to eat. And sometimes, just stopping is easier.

I did the Cambridge diet for a while. Great! Take food out of the equation all together. MUCH easier.

I admit to not knowing what to do next. I've dieted my entire adult life. Have been a regular gym-er (twice daily at my peak - a lovely gym helps the motivation) in my time. None of which has ever helped.

Like you Seacliff, I managed to remain slim for years through very hard work, dieting and exercise. But since the menopause, NOTHING works.

I'd like help. But who? All these diet companies/gyms/coaches claim to have the answer. But if there was an answer, people would lose the weight and not regain it. IF I thought it was 1) safe and 2) really worked, I'd have bariatric surgery. But as a long term stress head who has previously had 2 ulcers, I've been warned off messing with my gastro-intestinal tract.

seacliff ?
Your post has saddens me. ?
I used to be a size ten, many years ago. My weight has been steadily creeping up, due to a number of factors: my medication, lack of mobilty, pain and angina attacks when I push myself.
You are right, it is cruel to be so judgemental of people who are overweight, when you don't know their circumstances.