Just turned 50 and feeling morbid

At 50 my youngest was fourteen, and I was racing all over the country with her to sporting events, fifteen years later, still working almost full time, and helping with childcare, I do think about the fact that time is obviously running out, but I don’t dwell on it, few more aches and pains, but I don’t really feel any older than I did at fifty.

Annabelle I’m sorry if my previous post came across as flippant & unsympathetic, and I’m sorry you’re feeling low.

In answer to your question, yes sometimes I have morbid thoughts. My DS lives in the USA and sometimes I wonder how many more times we’ll be together.

But I try to turn it around in my mind and make myself think I must enjoy every day that I have.

Someone posted this poem on Gransnet a while ago and it’s sort of become my mantra.

Learn to make the most of life,
Lose no happy day,
For time will never bring again
Chances swept away.

Leave no tender word unsaid,
Love while life shall last,
For the mill will never grind again
With water that is past.

It is true that I had "depression" from around 46 till 54 about turning 50, but by the time I was approaching 60, and really "over the hill", (or not,) I gave up worrying and I quite enjoy being 68.
I never expected to see my 80th birthday, but since my unexpected heart attack 2 months ago I have stopped thinking about longevity.
Que Serra, Serra. Though I doubt it is quite that easy for my OH.
I do think it would be a good idea for Annabelle to see her GP and discuss possibility of suffering Depression. Or possibly try taking St John's Wort (provided there are no other medication considerations,) and snacking on pumpkin seeds, which may help lighten mood.

Annabelle When I was 50 OH and I made the decision to move abroad and start a new life and what a wonderful time we had when we where there for 10yrs.
Now back in uk for over another 10yrs we have a busy life enjoying everyday,I would find something you enjoy to get yourself out and about you certainly have loads more years ahead of you x

I had my 50th birthday in Nancy while bringing our 80' boat/ home from the Med. That's after taking it all the way there.

Sold that and went into property. Only buying places that needed serious renovation. We did it all.

Then we thought: what shall we do. Bought a property abroad and renovated that to a high standard. Sold that.

What shall we do now: Buy a motohome and explore Europe seeing every country ( including Turkey)

What shall we do now: sell our flat that we always kept in the uk. Bought a dilapidated bungalow and completely renovate that.

Oh has just got home from Santapod where he's been racing.

OP. Unless you are depressed, for which I have The deepest sympathy I can't understand you thinking.

I think I was more depressed when I turned 40. It suddenly hit me I was definitely middle aged - all downhill from there on. (And it was/is! ?)

You aren’t necessarily going to drop dead at 70, you could easily live to 80 or 90 or more! Keep telling yourself that and get the ‘70’ out of your head!

Try 74.

I remember being upset when I reached 50 - it seemed to be a major landmark - I came out in a rash.
Now that I'm 83 I know I can't have long to go, and I'm trying to work out how to make the best of these last years, physical limitations are so frustrating.
As Woody Allen said, I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm finding this year difficult because my mum died suddenly at 67 and I am now 67. I would give anything to be 50. Enjoy your youth!

I will be 70 next year and startle people by saying 6 more years will do me. Both my mother and my grandmother died at 76 so the signs are good. We both feel that we want to enjoy each day as much as possible often in ways that weren't possible because of lack of finance when we were bringing up the family (very few holidays and no luxuries). We are still by no means well off but we are able to indulge ourselves and our family a bit now so if we want to do something or think of something that might help a relative we 'just do it'. Funnily enough any major expenditure seems to be recovered quickly, by some magic,

I absolutely hated becoming 50. It didn't help that my workmates bought me a big 50 balloon either (that I 'accidentally' let go of on my way home). Being 60 and 65 hasn't bothered me, though. I suppose 50 meant the end of 'middle aged' to me. There is no point at all in trying to work out how long you have left, nobody ever knows!

I never really gave 50 any thought. I was about to be made redundant but managed to get another job, the other candidate being in her 20's. I stayed until I retired at 60.

This weekend I will be 76- who is bothered?

My friend has worked out how many more new places she'd like to holiday - and how many years she has left. How bloody depressing is that? I don't even think that way!

Good grief woman ! when my mother was 50 she had a three year old child and did not give her age a second thought. I am in my 70s and after serious illness just very thankful to be here.

Hi Annabelle
It's kinda of strange when I turned 50 it kind of hit me as well. This is when you realise time has flown so quickly. That from being that youngester who saw older people as ancient and now its the other way round!!

Acknowledge your feelings and let your feelings be like mine they will pass.We wouldn't be human without having negative as well as positive feelings or thoughts afterall one thing I've learnt live is for living.

Visit my mums grave and she is surrounded by babies, teenagers and youngsters.
Be grateful your still here

I turned 50 this year too and while I hope I’m going to live beyond 70 I certainly know where you’re coming from. My mum died of cancer at 71 after being fit and healthy all her life and I’m definitely starting to hear about more people that I know, or know of, dying. I suppose I’m more aware of my own mortality while hoping I live longer than my mum who was definitely not ready to go.

I know what you mean Annabelle when I was approaching my 50th birthday whenever anyone mentioned it I would start crying my daughters thought I was going mad.
So last year when approaching my 60th I decided me and hubby would go to Rome so that I wouldn’t think about it and it worked.
But I often look at my youngest grandson who has just had his first birthday and fill up thinking I’m not going to see him grow into a man.
And think of something that happened 20 years ago and think I will be lucky if I lived that long again, I think it’s just that we are enjoying our lives and can’t bare the thought of leaving everyone, I think it’s quite common for us to become aware of our own mortality as we get older.

Yes - a little - but 60 was great! I think when a woman reaches 50 she sometimes is having to cope with menopause, children leaving home/getting married etc and it's a lot to cope with. Don't be hard on your self - you can't do anything about it but negative thoughts with only make you ill.

I was still cheerful at 50, amused by being 60, but 70 did make me feel old, and now I am a few months off 80, which I just find impossible to believe!

A couple of nights ago I came across some letters exchanged with my new boyfriend when I was 24....not love letters tied in blue ribbon, but affectionate! Reading them, I still felt the person I was then, and fifty five years later......still with him, four wonderful children and nine super grandchildren, lots of wonderful times ....I can't complain, but was somehow upset that all those years had telescoped into a dream.

Don't dwell on what MIGHT happen! I'm 73 and enjoying life with Mme SS. I might be getting on but most people are amazed when they realise my actual age. It's not that I'm without problems: I'm diabetic but what the heck I actually FEEL about 45. I've just sold my Harley Davidson bike and I'm planning on buying a very nice sporty convertible. Live, enjoy life, don't smoke, don't drink too much, be happy and always make plans for the future. You'll last a long time, I'm sure!

Goodness by your reckoning OP I only have 7 years left. People on average live a lot longer than 70 these days.
You sound as though you may be depressed, suddenly realising our mortality is hard. Statistically though you have many, many years left. Make the most of them by living them to the full.

Annabelle01 At fifty, I decided to write a novel about it. My protagonist dreaded the event. The novel is funny, sad and truthful. It took me 10 years to write (my Mum died and I couldn't focus for a long time) and I just squeaked in publication before my 60th. At 67 I am about to publish the sequel but, in between, have won several short story competitions and had a world trip as well as having two hip replacements and various other enlightening and catastrophic life events. 50? You're a baby - but yes, the hot flushes are a pain. Think of them as power surges. BTW the novel is called TERRIBLE WITH RAISINS...Growing up at fifty...

I think I understand how you feel Annabelle 01. It wasn’t about being 50 but about the speed with which that last decade has passed by. I have felt rather low since leaving a difficult job for health reasons as I haven’t found another so am really in very early retirement. I think I did that too soon, but I am trying to be grateful for each day. As people have said, we don’t know how long we have left. I am not good at following my own advice but do try not to be too hard on yourself . There may be many factors causing you to feel like this, not least the menopausal issues. ? for you, if that helps at all and moral support as you can’t help the way you feel. I do hope it passes soon.

Please don't feel that way are there any other reasons why you should feel low....you have got so many years ahead of youxxxx