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Just turned 50 and feeling morbid

(142 Posts)
Annabelle01 Mon 16-Sept-19 10:04:32

I turned 50 in July and it suddenly hit me full on that I may only have 20 years left. I can't seem to get this morbid thought out of my head and move on to make the most of every day. Has anyone else experienced this?

Greengage Mon 16-Sept-19 17:02:54

When a friend and I turned 50 within weeks of each other, she was really depressed about it. I, however, found it hysterically funny as I felt so immature to be 50! We are now 73 and met up only last week. We are both in fine fettle though she currently has some knee problems. A lot of life in the old dogs yet!

floorflock Mon 16-Sept-19 16:48:16

Well my first thought was that - the Government are considering increasing the retirement age to 75 - so you clearly aren't allowed to go anywhere before they have screwed everything they can out of you first, therefore you have at least 25 to go.
My second thought is similar to many others - menopause/peri menopause. It has been a dreafdul time for me. It started about 7 years ago and god I am so fed up with it at times, but it will come in peaks and troughs. Hold on to the good times., the bad times will pass.

Juicylucy Mon 16-Sept-19 16:44:18

I felt like that when I turned 60 I’m 63 now. I wrote a list of things I wanted to do and am slowly working my way thru them. I look 53 ( so I’m told) and feel 43 I’m busy out every day working part time, walking the dog. I have a young out look on life and I’m the one that goes on the roller coasters with the gran children. Health permitting I do feel it is a mindset. I think younger and feel younger.

FC61 Mon 16-Sept-19 16:30:04

I felt like that when my menopause kicked in age 51- 55. It went age 56/57. I’m a psychotherapist so I knew my gloom was hormonal and I took menomood when it got bad.

Fiachna50 Mon 16-Sept-19 16:22:53

I had a few health issues kicked in late 40s/early 50s, but I feel grateful to be here. Alot of my family and friends are not here and some didnt make 40. I do feel more content and have to say for me the stage Im at now (late 50s), is the most content I have been. I really think you have to try and live in the present, although I dont find that easy. As one poster said Menopause might be making you feel this way. I had a horrendous time with it, never away from GP/ hospital with Gynae issues and I still suffer from anxiety. Thankfully the panic attacks have abated. If you still feel the way you do I would definitely see the doctor. Ask to get your thyroid checked too. I hope you feel better having talked to the folks on here. There are some really decent people in this community.

TrendyNannie6 Mon 16-Sept-19 16:04:17

Well none of us know how long we will be here for, but I wouldn’t be thinking like that, why not think of all the things you can be doing health allowing . I’m a lot older than you and in bad health but I think positive and live for today, a lot of ppl aren’t lucky enough to get to 50 be thankful and appreciate each day love , if you are depressed go to your dr who can help you

19EJA Mon 16-Sept-19 16:02:17

50!!! Are you kidding?
Seriously though, 'morbid' is a strong word. If you really feel that bad you need to talk to your GP.

heidimargaret Mon 16-Sept-19 15:59:37

I feel the same as you but I turn 70 in November. I cannot but realise the countdown has started. Enjoy the next 20 years. Then start to worry.

Hellsbelles Mon 16-Sept-19 15:55:17

My father died aged 53 , I was 25 when it happed. As I grew older it started to make me think that perhaps, I would also due young, especially as his father was also quite young.
53 came and passed, and I'm now nearly 59 and hopefully still going !
Try to put these thoughts out of your head. You are 50 years young smile

Patticake123 Mon 16-Sept-19 15:51:16

I’m with KatyK. I wish I was 50! Seriously though, I think it’s pretty normal to consider ones own death. It’s only an issue when it disrupts your normal life.

Guineagirl Mon 16-Sept-19 15:47:14

Yes I went through this hated becoming 50.. losing parents added to the mix and empty nest made me very depressed. I self referred for counselling, I got very worried as my dad died suddenly at 56 and I am 54 so my GP kindly referred me for a heart scan and it settled me, he also said he went through a phase of it too, I think it is very common. I’ve cycled for over ten years and decided to enjoy being my age and to keep fit to help the depression and chatting to someone helped. I do understand what you mean I figured I was wasting precious time being like it. Try to find someone to talk to x

pamdixon Mon 16-Sept-19 15:44:30

I'm 73 and still around!! When I hit 70 one of my grandchildren told me not to worry, that I had at least another 30 years to go (in his book no one lives beyond 100 obviously!). Age is only a silly old number and you are as old (or young) as you feel.

Bridgeit Mon 16-Sept-19 15:43:30

There is no rhyme or reason , in our family the generation before me an eldest son died first (in his 30s) 2nd son died in his 40s youngest son lived into his 80s .
OP, if you did have 20yrs left then you have a lot of doing to do, or you could just relax & take each day as it comes.
I like the saying ‘ Live each day as if it is your last, because one day you will be right’ best wishes.

pixie601 Mon 16-Sept-19 15:37:41

Why fret about something over which you have no control. Live each day as it comes, get out and about, plan something exciting and look forward always. I'm 78 and have no fear of life limits at all. What will be, will be.

Saggi Mon 16-Sept-19 15:20:23

50.... crikey , that’s a bit young to get morbid. I’m 68 and have just realised I maybe have 20 years left. I’m going on fact that gran lived to 84 and mum til she was 92...I’ve settled for the middle ground.I think 50 a great age... but if it makes you do something specific with each day....all to the good. Enjoy your next 40 years!!

Catterygirl Mon 16-Sept-19 14:53:29

I am 68. I get what you are thinking. I hope to live to an age where I can still walk, swim and enjoy life, be able to read, watch TV, eat out, cook at home 4 days a week. Keeping busy is the key. Preferably with friends and family....not always easy as you get older friends disappear to a new area or worst still die. I have a small bucket list so am making a start. Want to visit India and have a Singapore sling at the Raffles hotel. Not sure how this will be funded but hoping to pet sit and get one of my books published etc. Just keep on going on. If they tell me I have a month to live I will probably take OH to the Maldives for two weeks and come home to face the music and see my son. Crikey this is morbid. I am looking forward to tonight, let alone tomorrow.

BusterTank Mon 16-Sept-19 14:39:47

I am also fifty , my mum did when she was sixty . So any day over my sixtith birthday will be a bonus for me .

PamSJ1 Mon 16-Sept-19 14:26:16

I have been more aware of my own mortality since my husband died three years ago this month aged 51. I'm now 54 and since he died my osteoarthritis has got worse exacerbated by the treatment I'm on post-cancer last year. I have every reason to keep going with a mortgage, working full time and three grandchildren (2 live with me with my daughter and their dad) but it still hits me every so often.

Aepgirl Mon 16-Sept-19 14:12:23

50 is nothing. I suspect most GNs are over 60, and many, like me, must be in their 70s. Celebrate each year, mile stone, decade, etc, or you’ll end up wishing your life away.

grandtanteJE65 Mon 16-Sept-19 13:59:52

Yes, I had the same feeling when I rounded that corner, but it passed.

Now I am coming up for 68 (wrote 38, some Freudian slip, eh?) and am all set to live for at least 20 years more.

Have you any reason to suspect you might not make old bones?

Try to find a new interest to take your mind off your age - the feeling will pass, but it helps to have something enjoyable to do when you are feeling blue.

Gingergirl Mon 16-Sept-19 13:44:26

I’m not a fan of birthdays! I try to just let them pass and not focus too much on my age. It is only a number after all and I think you can be in danger of worrying about things so much, that what life is left, just passes by...I would just let that morbidity sit there and don’t give it much attention. There are lots of good things in life, after all.

Rosina Mon 16-Sept-19 13:41:57

No! Not at 50! I'm enjoying my seventies - ( lucky to be fit and healthy, just creaking a bit) but please don't feel the end is nigh at 50. None of us know when the end is coming but if you are going to die of old age, then at 50 you needn't let that thought enter your head for at least another 25 years.

Ellianne Mon 16-Sept-19 13:32:19

I've often felt like this on milestone birthdays even though I am still comparatively young. Longevity isn't on my side because my parents died quite early and I feel sure my days are numbered. It's not a good feeling because it deprives you of enjoying the moment.
There are some very positive posts here and some sensible suggestions.

sarahellenwhitney Mon 16-Sept-19 13:26:30

Bluebelle
Me too. The best years of my life were to come at 50.
As they 'who ever they are' say, life begins at 50 .

Theoddbird Mon 16-Sept-19 13:23:45

I decided at 60 to live until I was 100....I have lost weight keep fit and have a healthy vegan diet...was veggie for 39 years before becoming vegan a year ago. Of course I could crash my car tomorrow and leave this planet. Smile at everyone and think positive is what I say.