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Just turned 50 and feeling morbid

(142 Posts)
Annabelle01 Mon 16-Sept-19 10:04:32

I turned 50 in July and it suddenly hit me full on that I may only have 20 years left. I can't seem to get this morbid thought out of my head and move on to make the most of every day. Has anyone else experienced this?

minxie Mon 16-Sept-19 11:36:38

Visit my mums grave and she is surrounded by babies, teenagers and youngsters.
Be grateful your still here

Jishere Mon 16-Sept-19 11:33:21

Hi Annabelle
It's kinda of strange when I turned 50 it kind of hit me as well. This is when you realise time has flown so quickly. That from being that youngester who saw older people as ancient and now its the other way round!!

Acknowledge your feelings and let your feelings be like mine they will pass.We wouldn't be human without having negative as well as positive feelings or thoughts afterall one thing I've learnt live is for living.

harrigran Mon 16-Sept-19 11:33:13

Good grief woman ! when my mother was 50 she had a three year old child and did not give her age a second thought. I am in my 70s and after serious illness just very thankful to be here.

Hetty58 Mon 16-Sept-19 11:33:00

My friend has worked out how many more new places she'd like to holiday - and how many years she has left. How bloody depressing is that? I don't even think that way!

Charleygirl5 Mon 16-Sept-19 11:27:34

I never really gave 50 any thought. I was about to be made redundant but managed to get another job, the other candidate being in her 20's. I stayed until I retired at 60.

This weekend I will be 76- who is bothered?

Hetty58 Mon 16-Sept-19 11:26:17

I absolutely hated becoming 50. It didn't help that my workmates bought me a big 50 balloon either (that I 'accidentally' let go of on my way home). Being 60 and 65 hasn't bothered me, though. I suppose 50 meant the end of 'middle aged' to me. There is no point at all in trying to work out how long you have left, nobody ever knows!

seadragon Mon 16-Sept-19 11:26:14

I will be 70 next year and startle people by saying 6 more years will do me. Both my mother and my grandmother died at 76 so the signs are good. We both feel that we want to enjoy each day as much as possible often in ways that weren't possible because of lack of finance when we were bringing up the family (very few holidays and no luxuries). We are still by no means well off but we are able to indulge ourselves and our family a bit now so if we want to do something or think of something that might help a relative we 'just do it'. Funnily enough any major expenditure seems to be recovered quickly, by some magic,

inishowen Mon 16-Sept-19 11:23:38

I'm finding this year difficult because my mum died suddenly at 67 and I am now 67. I would give anything to be 50. Enjoy your youth!

Fennel Mon 16-Sept-19 11:18:07

I remember being upset when I reached 50 - it seemed to be a major landmark - I came out in a rash.
Now that I'm 83 I know I can't have long to go, and I'm trying to work out how to make the best of these last years, physical limitations are so frustrating.
As Woody Allen said, I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Greciangirl Mon 16-Sept-19 11:17:10

Try 74.

HootyMcOwlface Mon 16-Sept-19 11:16:17

I think I was more depressed when I turned 40. It suddenly hit me I was definitely middle aged - all downhill from there on. (And it was/is! ?)

You aren’t necessarily going to drop dead at 70, you could easily live to 80 or 90 or more! Keep telling yourself that and get the ‘70’ out of your head!

petra Mon 16-Sept-19 11:14:25

I had my 50th birthday in Nancy while bringing our 80' boat/ home from the Med. That's after taking it all the way there.

Sold that and went into property. Only buying places that needed serious renovation. We did it all.

Then we thought: what shall we do. Bought a property abroad and renovated that to a high standard. Sold that.

What shall we do now: Buy a motohome and explore Europe seeing every country ( including Turkey)

What shall we do now: sell our flat that we always kept in the uk. Bought a dilapidated bungalow and completely renovate that.

Oh has just got home from Santapod where he's been racing.

OP. Unless you are depressed, for which I have The deepest sympathy I can't understand you thinking.

glammanana Mon 16-Sept-19 11:13:26

Annabelle When I was 50 OH and I made the decision to move abroad and start a new life and what a wonderful time we had when we where there for 10yrs.
Now back in uk for over another 10yrs we have a busy life enjoying everyday,I would find something you enjoy to get yourself out and about you certainly have loads more years ahead of you x

Persistentdonor Mon 16-Sept-19 11:11:42

It is true that I had "depression" from around 46 till 54 about turning 50, but by the time I was approaching 60, and really "over the hill", (or not,) I gave up worrying and I quite enjoy being 68.
I never expected to see my 80th birthday, but since my unexpected heart attack 2 months ago I have stopped thinking about longevity.
Que Serra, Serra. Though I doubt it is quite that easy for my OH.
I do think it would be a good idea for Annabelle to see her GP and discuss possibility of suffering Depression. Or possibly try taking St John's Wort (provided there are no other medication considerations,) and snacking on pumpkin seeds, which may help lighten mood.

janeainsworth Mon 16-Sept-19 11:11:01

Annabelle I’m sorry if my previous post came across as flippant & unsympathetic, and I’m sorry you’re feeling low.

In answer to your question, yes sometimes I have morbid thoughts. My DS lives in the USA and sometimes I wonder how many more times we’ll be together.

But I try to turn it around in my mind and make myself think I must enjoy every day that I have.

Someone posted this poem on Gransnet a while ago and it’s sort of become my mantra.

Learn to make the most of life,
Lose no happy day,
For time will never bring again
Chances swept away.

Leave no tender word unsaid,
Love while life shall last,
For the mill will never grind again
With water that is past.
flowers

Sara65 Mon 16-Sept-19 11:10:28

At 50 my youngest was fourteen, and I was racing all over the country with her to sporting events, fifteen years later, still working almost full time, and helping with childcare, I do think about the fact that time is obviously running out, but I don’t dwell on it, few more aches and pains, but I don’t really feel any older than I did at fifty.

Septimia Mon 16-Sept-19 11:07:24

I reckon that the best years of your life are ahead of you!

I'm much more content and relaxed than I was when I was younger.

Time passing and health issues are, of course, a worry and can limit your activities. On the whole, though, I'd say plan some enjoyable things to do and look forward to them. Fit in as much as you can while you still can - and then you'll have lots of memories for when you can't do as much.

When my mum died, suddenly and unexpectedly, she was looking forward to a concert, had just bought new trainers for aerobics and was in the middle of laying a new floor in her bathroom! The moral is: live life right up to the last moment, don't sit and wait for something awful to happen.

annodomini Mon 16-Sept-19 11:04:11

When you reach 70, you will look back on this period and say, 'What was I thinking?' 50s and 60s can be wonderful decades - in my case I had got over my divorce, become a granny, taken an OU course, held down my job and been heavily involved in local politics. I also discovered that I didn't need an OH to go on Ramblers' Holidays. With growing GC, a whole new horizon opens up. I'm hoping that in my 80s - 14 months to go - I might have the joy of GGC! No time to be morbid.

Callistemon Mon 16-Sept-19 10:55:53

Ps she had only just become a teenager!
Still worrying about her 24 or so years later grin

bluebirdwsm Mon 16-Sept-19 10:55:10

I'm 70. I make plans for the next 20 years. I feel 50 most of the time!

I feel fit, my main problem is with poor sleep but I deal with it. I have no illnesses, a good diet and walk a lot.

I don't see any reason why I should die soon. If I do [accident, sudden illness, rapid deterioration] then so be it. I've had my 3 score years and ten and am lucky to have done so.

I'd say be more positive and philosophical, and get on with life being grateful for your health/family/home etc.

Callistemon Mon 16-Sept-19 10:54:03

At 50 I had a teenager to worry about.

eazybee Mon 16-Sept-19 10:53:29

Sorry, just realised you are fifty already.
Well the worst is out of the way.

eazybee Mon 16-Sept-19 10:52:09

Sorry you are feeling miserable; birthdays with zeros in them are simply milestones.
I felt grim as I approached forty, thinking it was the end of youth(!); by the time fifty came I really didn't care, had a wonderful genuine surprise party, same for sixty, and am now embracing my seventies with gusto.
Once you finally are fifty, I doubt if you will feel morbid, but set out to make everyone say, I can't believe you are whatever age you are. Enjoy the beginning of the rest of your life.

Whitewavemark2 Mon 16-Sept-19 10:45:09

Blimey wait to you are my age 73 (snap trisher)

My mum is 101, a bit too long tbh.

But live for the day I say. None of us know how or when we will shuffle off.

trisher Mon 16-Sept-19 10:40:32

I'm 73 and hope I've got a bit longer. A couple of people I know died very suddenly much younger than me so I just think you don't know. My mum made 94. I'd say stop counting. If you are counting because you're not happy just now, change and do something new. It isn't too late