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Health

On the receiving end

(27 Posts)
grannyactivist Sat 26-Oct-19 22:22:12

Like many women I am quite happy in the role of giver/carer, but it has been a struggle over the years to accept that there are times that I should actually accept help and be cared for myself. Because I've always had health problems it's been my natural instinct to battle on for as long as possible, before 'giving in', so I have frequently resisted accepting help until I've been on my knees. But today I realised that I have finally reached a point of new maturity and I am embracing this whole being cared for malarky.

I have been ill now for a couple of months and somehow have kept things going at home and work (by the skin of my teeth), but finally I have been put on total bed rest!! I am now spending my days in bed, simply dozing and responding (when I have the energy) to texts and emails; I have to keep movement and speech to a minimum. A photo of my bedroom would reveal that I'm surrounded by fruit, flowers and chocolates alongside get well cards. The Wonderful Man is taking care of all the domestic arrangements, helped by a supporting cast of friends and family. My every want and need is met - and do you know, if I weren't feeling so poorly I think I might actually be enjoying it. wink

I am counting my blessings because I know how fortunate I am to have such lovely caring people in my life. How is it for you when you're ill? Do you battle on (maybe because you have no choice)? Are you comfortable being cared for? Do you worry about becoming ill because you're alone? Is there always someone you can call on?

midgey Fri 01-Nov-19 16:54:53

Good news, onwards and upwards!

Jane10 Fri 01-Nov-19 16:39:29

That's great news grannyactivist. What a difference a good night's sleep makes. Here's to lots more of them and a continued improvement in health.

welbeck Thu 31-Oct-19 22:25:39

good luck to you, hope you feel better soon.
there is no one that I know of who could would care for me. my dear partner died 12 yrs ago, then I was caring for a family member increasingly until totally, now wish I still could.
now am part-time carer for a neighbour.
though this often involves long hours waiting about at hosp, as she has to be conveyed on a stretcher, and resources are stretched; hosp transport now done by a parcel delivery company...
goodnight.

grannyactivist Thu 31-Oct-19 22:03:21

UPDATE:
After a pretty dreadful couple of days adjusting to the new medication I am actually beginning to get better!! For the first time in a couple of months I had an undisturbed night’s sleep last night .

I am very grateful to my lovely doctor who wasn’t too proud to ask for advice from other professionals and who persevered for literally months in trying to find a suitable treatment for me. Our NHS is such a precious asset.

Tomorrow I’m allowed to get up, although my hawk-eyed husband has taken the day off work and will ensure I don’t actually do anything. grin

grannyactivist Mon 28-Oct-19 23:23:34

Thank you all for your concern and good wishes. My doctor has now consulted with a microbiologist and together they’ve come up with a revised treatment plan. The new prescription didn’t get sent out until mid afternoon and one of the dispensers from my local pharmacy (shout out for Lloyds) very kindly delivered the medication to my house on her way home from work. I’ve started to take the new meds, now it’s a case of wait and see, but I’m trying to be hopeful.

Grammaretto Sun 27-Oct-19 13:51:31

It sounds seriously bad if you are confined to bed. I hope you make a full recovery. flowers

I hate being ill and hate being in bed apart from at night to sleep. I prefer lazing on the couch and watching TV dosed with lemsip.

After my hysterectomy, I was about to host 2 wooffers so I tried to put them off but they came anyway but rather than do the major work planned they set about making sure I didn't have to lift anything more than a kettle. Bless them both. They wouldn't let me in the kitchen for a fortnight.

DH was at work and helped when he could.
I'm a bad patient because it's only when I can't do it that I notice the things that need to be done. Lying down and staring at cobwebs is no fun.

Dragonfly you have been very brave with what you have had to contend with too.

luluaugust Sun 27-Oct-19 12:37:50

grannyactivist wishing you well soon flowers

Urmstongran Sun 27-Oct-19 10:29:31

Good point Jane10

Hope you get better soon grannyactivist

Ellianne Sun 27-Oct-19 09:49:23

I think Jane10 says is all. If there is a foreseeable end to your illness, or it isn't life threatening, then being confined to bed for a while isn't too bad, especially if you have help.
If, however, that's it for the rest of your life, then that must be frightening and horrible.

Antonia Sun 27-Oct-19 09:43:49

Hope the bed rest doesn't need to last too long Grannyactivist .Meanwhile, hope you have plenty of reading material, and as others have said, how great that you have such a support network. Get well soon.

Hetty58 Sun 27-Oct-19 09:37:41

I've yet to find out really. Apart from a back injury I've never been immobile or confined to bed. I absolutely hate being unable to do things and I'm a bad-tempered patient. Being ill in the night is the absolute worst, though, when you live alone. There's nobody to hold your hair back and rub your back when you're sick. Even the dog runs away and hides!

Luckygirl Sun 27-Oct-19 09:30:43

Wiggle your toes! Good for your circulation if you are lying around in bed.

Get well soon!

Jane10 Sun 27-Oct-19 09:24:41

Maybe it depends on the actual reason for needing care. Just after my various (well 2) knee replacements I just couldn't do much for myself beyond shuffling from room to room. Life on two sticks was complicated. Trying to make a mug of tea then convey it to the sitting room was a logistical puzzle. All strictly time limited though. I always knew I'd be back to my old self again soon. DH rose to the occasion magnificently and I certainly found out who my real friends were.
It must be very hard getting used to being cared for with a more open ended condition and a less certain outcome.
Sending good wishes to Grans in need of care. ?

Auntieflo Sun 27-Oct-19 09:06:49

Grannyactivist, sorry to hear that you have been so unwell, but I hope you are behaving yourself and doing as you are told.
I am glad that your wonderful man is coping well.
When you are so used to doing everything yourself, it is very hard to let go, I know! Like me, perhaps you are not a patient, patient, but we have to come to term with it, if we want to get better.
Please enjoy your books, flowers, chocolates, pampering and
Get well soonest. ?

GrannyGravy13 Sun 27-Oct-19 07:19:50

grannyactivist sorry to hear you are poorly, it’s difficult when you have rest forced on you isn’t it.

Whilst we are trying to do a multitude of jobs at any one time we may dream of doing nothing and being waited on. Unfortunately when the situation arises and we are waited on it comes with ill health.

Rest and hopefully you will be able to resume your “normal” activities soon.

????

Yehbutnobut Sun 27-Oct-19 07:12:07

Get well soon ?

kittylester Sun 27-Oct-19 06:41:08

What I read is just typical of most women isnt it? Luckily, apart from after my hysterectomy, I have never been in that position but I'm sure dh would step up to the plate.

I'm sorry you are so poorly ga and I know that it will be really difficult for you. Get well soon. thanks

BradfordLass72 Sun 27-Oct-19 03:18:53

Enjoy being pampered and know you are in the right place for now.
Rest and love are both healing but it may take a while and a lot of patience to get yourself back up and feeling better.

No short cuts now !! grin ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

harrigran Sun 27-Oct-19 00:24:15

Sorry to hear that you are poorly grannyactivist.
I used to be the carer of other people but now DH looks after me, he anticipates my every need and also cooks delicious meals.
At first it was difficult to watch someone else doing the housework but now I have accepted that I am unable to do it and remove myself to another room.

B9exchange Sat 26-Oct-19 23:58:37

I do hope you are not on bed rest for too long, make sure you protect your pressure areas and try to move around the bed as much as you can. Drink plenty and eat plenty of fruit with all those chocolates! Wish you better soon.

maddyone Sat 26-Oct-19 23:04:36

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re so ill grannyactivist, and hope you’ll soon be feeling better. Also dragonfly, I hope the rest of your chemo goes as well as yesterday and you’re soon through this difficult patch.
I was seriously ill several times as a child, but as an adult I have only had one life threatening illness. I was ill for several months, off work for all that time, in hospital for a few weeks, and then gradually recovering at home. My husband was wonderful when he realised how ill I was, at that point I was off work but trying to struggle with keeping everything going at home. After I was admitted to hospital and diagnosed my husband was marvellous. He took care of everything and of me. When I returned home and he returned to work my 75 year mother came and lived with us, and together they ran the house for six weeks. At that time our daughter was commuting to London to medical school every day and for that year was living at home, our son number one had returned to live at home after university, and son number two was also living at home and commuting to London daily to Bar School. Mum and DH kept everything up and running. They were amazing and I was very lucky to have them. I still am, DH is now retired as I am, and my lovely Mum is 92 years old, and I look after her.

Gonegirl Sat 26-Oct-19 23:01:17

Sorry to hear you are so poorly grannyactivist. It's very unusual to be prescribed complete bed rest these days isn't it?

Hope you don't need to keep it up for too long. Get well soon.

MawB Sat 26-Oct-19 22:59:51

Miles not mikes!

MawB Sat 26-Oct-19 22:59:21

I am so sorry to hear you are so unwell grannyactivist but happy for you that you have such an excellent “support system“:at home.
I would have to depend on Hattie the hound as all the DDs are about 75 mikes away and while I do have lovely neighbours, they are often way on “ granny duty” just as I am this weekend.
I have never been “able” to be ill - lucky I suppose- all the years of caring for Paw (and making my own Lemsip) ) but even a dose of flu the winter after Paw died, I had to stagger down from my bedroom for at least part of each day, there was just no alternative.
Wishing you a steady recovery flowers

dragonfly46 Sat 26-Oct-19 22:44:42

I am so sorry to hear you have been confined to bed grannyactivist. I am like you and never give in. Yesterday I had chemo, came home cooked the dinner, got up this morning and went shopping, cooked and cleaned and fortunately feel fine. I hate being laid up. I have a DH who would love to fuss over me but it is not my style.