Nurturing others and mental health

ExperiencedNotOld, an excellent post! ?

The trouble is, that we have different personalities and it comes across on sites like this. I understand what you're saying but, just as people are different in real life, so we are on the internet.
There are some people who seem to make a point of being unpleasant, but they are probably the same in the flesh.
If we had a cull and removed all the nasty ones, it would all be a bit false, wouldn't it?

See previous thread on this topic

Great post Experiencednotold. I've seen the 'different personalities' line used quite often, it's a way of pushing away the hurt that rude and unpleasant people inflict. Kindness has disappeared in the UK especially on social media where you can't see the other in front of you, as the OP points out. Empathy is a quality to develop and shows maturity. Lashing out is living life as a sulky child.

A lot of good common sense here. “Kindness” is much under rated, it’s surely possible to heartily disagree with someone but still be kind to them?

Sometimes not so, Granniequeenie. Sometimes I 'meet' posters online who are downright fascists.

It is easy to slip in to being a moaner or a maker of cutting remarks. I agree wholeheartedly with your post Experienced. It helps ourselves and the people around us ( online as well) if we try to be positive , kind and up beat when we can.

Mumofmadboys, how can I be positive, upbeat, and kind to a fascist who posts on an internet forum? Such persons are sometimes planted by organisations that use forums to spread their ideas.

Surely the most effective response is to argue against the fascist statements - or anything else that you disagree with.

Once people start throwing personal insults I always feel it’s because they have been presented with information or a way of looking at things that they can’t argue against.

Society in general has changed a lot of people's perspective on life, how you should live it, what you should eat, wear, not wear etc, a dictatorship of do's and don'ts.

I'm more of a doasyouwouldbedoneby person, always have been and have stood my ground and not followed the sheep in being/ trying to be someone I'm not.

I can be feisty when/where necessary but not often might I add. It's no bad thing standing your ground with something you feel passionate about providing you don't offend others by " bad-mouthing " their beliefs, then them running to report as a " victim "as does happen !

As many of you will know I also post on a crime forum----which does require nerves of steel at times because discussions can get very heated but swearing or personal attacks are never allowed as it's strictly monitored.

Nevertheless, the forum in question has taught me a lot over the years, to be assertive in what you believe in without resorting to mudslinging or the like, concentration on a particular subject rather than let the mind rot away altogether in later life.

In fact the internet is a Godsend to those of us who live alone with its many subjects to explore and join in with. It should be compulsory for all retired people and not an instrument of torture for those whose delight it is to cause misery to others while remaining incognito-----cowards in other words.

Mental illness is in those who hide behind a screen spouting venom at every given opportunity, not the ones on the receiving end as they can close the lid and walk away from it ! Nobody is made to put up with this kind of behaviour.

I have to feel sad/ sorry for those who do resort to name-calling and insulting as I always think that their lives must be so miserable as to start on people they don't know and have never met. They're the ones to be pitied. There's always a reason for their hostility.

I agree Ellanvannin, that some of these forums are probably a lifeline to a lot of people who are lonely or housebound, but surely they are the most vulnerable, and therefore susceptible to peoples nastiness and unkindness. For most of it we probably just think, how rude, or what a vile person, but if you’re shut in on your own, you’re far more likely to dwell on it.

My daughter tells me they’re keyboard warriors, hiding behind their laptops, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be causing a lot of upset.

Well said ENO!

I do think we live in an age of self obsession....for many folk at least.

Too much emphasis on personal opinions, often thoughtlessly expressed and not enough emphasis on engaging with how others might be feeling.

A little kindness goes a long way in most situations....I aim to apply a bit every day.

Careless cruelty is commonplace too I think but hurts the sender too in the long run.

I think that people who reply on a phone may be inclined to be brief and it can come across as terse, or even rude. In A few words it is not always easy to convey a tone, which can make all the difference to how a comment is perceived.