I am very cross - a corona virus story.

Trump has said a day or two ago that American citizens are being recalled home but then he’s shutting the borders indefinitely. If she doesn’t go home she can’t claim housing, benefits or nhs treatment here for what we’re being told is the rest of the year, not just 12 weeks or so now.
Text her and inform her that she needs to get a connecting flight straight back to the USA. Don’t let her stay a single night or you may have her for the rest of the year!

It would maybe be different if this is someone you are close to, but you said you've not seen her for 40 years.

She has chosen to ignore all the advice and has placed herself and others at risk.

You owe this woman nothing, and definitely not a place in your home for goodness knows how long. And how will you feed her? It's hard enough finding groceries at the moment, let alone finding enough to feed an additional mouth. Would she even be paying her way?

I think you really ought to hoist up your big girl's pants and just say no. If you never have contact with her again - would it really impact on you at all? You need to put yourself first here.

Sometimes we just need to be selfish. You hardly know her. Take a deep breath and say no.

You should not accept her. You are on lockdown so can't. Give her the number of the US embassy and the travel inn.

Unbelievable... not wanting to put on you Schnakie.. but come on..... I do hope you haven`t let her over your doorstep. you said you didn`t want advice.. but how do you expect us to react? it is people like her, and you???? who are not helping.. how many people could you be infecting by allowing her into your home?

unbelievable....

my dil was asked by a care home to go look after a 94 year old.. she was actually thinking of going... I just asked her if her family, children and all were less important that her, dil, need to feel needed.... isn`t that what this is about?

Folk like this annoy me. Id be contacting her or the authorities to say the lady needs to return to her own home. If you take her in, she will be with you for months. Sadly, she should have returned home and not travelled to Greece.

Why can't you say NO? If you get stuck with her what will that do to more important relationships?
It's not that difficult to say "Don't come, I dont want you here."
If you never see her again - will it matter?

Oh dear, what a mess. After not seeing her for 40 years and just helping her with a stop gap before going off somewhere else I really wouldn't have her back. As others have said,put yourself and your dd first. She must have money to be able to afford to travel. Please put your foot down and say NO.

Examine your deepest motivation for accepting her to stay. Have you suffered from rejection yourself in the past? If so you may be projecting the horrible feeling this engendered in you onto her. You can’t therefore bring yourself to reject her. But she is using you unfairly. You should book an hotel room for her and tell her to get the US Embassy to sort her problem, which is not yours.

Camp out in someone's house for a few days - someone whose address she doesn't know. And switch your mobile off. Daughter will know where you are. No cocky cousin is worth risking your life and the lives of your family for

Even one night is too risky. She is responsible for her own decisions.

I don't know what age you are - but you may be in the high-risk category ...? No, you can't have her back to stay with you. She'll have to get herself an hotel. Hard decision to have to make. But just ask yourself - would she put her well-being at risk for you? (You have to be sensible!)

Put your dd and yourself first. Your cousine is irresponsible. She is an adult, make her face up to her own mess.

this is distressing to read, and i dont even know you.
how must your daughter be feeling.

Op,

Your cousin created this mess, she can clean it herself.

Why oh why are you hosting her?

She keeps making bad decisions because everybody enables her.

No no no no no no - you are mad and selfish. What’s your dd done for you not to love her enough? It would break my dd’s heart if I were planning to behave like this. How can you? I despair.

Thank you all for your concern and advice. I am starting to listen more to the common sense you are making - why should I risk my safety for someone I hardly know, who has been exposed to God-only-know what viruses in the Greek detention centre and airport. When she arrives, I will direct her straight into the bathroom to change into clean clothes and wash herself thoroughly, then I will direct her to the bedroom, close the door, and let us both (me in the living room) have a good night's sleep. Tomorrow I will tell her she must find other accommodation. Thank you all for caring and for your sound advice.3

I think you have to be really hard-hearted on this occasion. Tell her straight "you are putting my life at risk if you come back here, I am not allowing you to do that".

She is an adult and must look after herself. She has voluntarily gone to a place where infection is very likely. Get your family members to speak to her on your behalf so that you can keep out of it altogether if you are unable to refuse her.

Sadly, you may have answered your own question....she has no one else to go to. I suggest setting up a day...ASAP...for her to go in person to the Embassy in London where she will have to tell them she only has 1 day accommodation left in the U.K. The US has clamped down very hard about anyone entering the US...even citizens! She might have a slightly better chance with the jail history. Otherwise, they can recommend accommodation they have obtain for citizens stranded. That way, you have been humane, responsible, and provided a realistic opportunity. Returning to you from the Embassy is off the table.

this person is peripheral to you.
surely your daughter is most dear to you.
how can you do this to her, your daughter; exposing yourself and anyone you have contact with to severe danger.
just say no.
tell her you are now in strict isolation.
maybe get your daughter to tell her that.
do not endanger your life and health and your daughter's mental well being for the sake of some misplaced notion of politeness. this is life and death potentially.

She is old enough to manage this by herself.

Refuse to get further involved

No all people living in the US think rules don't apply to them, thank you very much.

The virus is very dangerous schnackie. I'd just tell her that you are now in self-isolation (perhaps you may have developed a cough?) and sorry - but you can't accept her back.

She is not your responsibility. As M0nica says, she can contact the American Embassy for assistance. Sometimes in life, we have to just put our foot down!

Send this thread to her and the phone number of a hotel as MO suggests

Well you’re mad - if she’s infected, you can’t possibly be safe in a flat with shared living and probably (?) bathroom facilities. You have two duties - to your dd, do you want to put her at risk of your being ill/dying and secondly, to all others you might be in contact with and maybe infect through your cousin. Being a ‘marshmallow’ in such circumstances just means not being a grown up and facing up to your responsibilities to others.

There are branches of Premier Inn and Travel Lodge at Gatwick. After her unexpected (to her) incarceration in gaol in Athens, she should book herself there. If she cannot afford it she can speak to staff at the American Embassy, dealing with arrogant idiots like this is on their job description not yours.