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So, I pulled my pants down........

(105 Posts)
phoenix Thu 23-Apr-20 15:03:58

Now, steady, this is not that sort of post! Although it might be a tad TMI for delicate GN members (Don your pearls ready for clutching now)

The back story, in the shower the other day, I became aware of some change in my (ahem) derriere , in that there was something there that wasn't there before confused

At first I thought it might be a stray bit of toilet paper blush, but no.

It felt like it could be a skin tag, but of course I couldn't see it. So, had to ask Mr P to take a look.

Once he had recovered from his swoon and put on his glasses, he had a look. (He's so brave)

He said it looked a bit red (I knew I had that shower too hot) so declined dabbing some of that skin tag removal stuff on it.

Apparently it's still looking a bit "angry" so some germolene has been applied. Himself then wondered if perhaps it was a mole? (Never had one there before, and as far as I know, they don't appear overnight, unless they are the sort that wreak havoc with your lawn. There is a local pest control chap that deals with those, but I don't feel inclined to bare my buttocks to him.)

So, phoned the surgery, who are doing telephone consultations. (Wouldn't usually bother with something so minor, but realise that skin changes like this should be checks out)

Telephone consultation booked for sometime tomorrow.

But they want me to email a photo of it! shock

With the best will in the world and a selfie stick (which I don't own) there is no way I can photograph at that angle!

So, I pulled my pants down.........

Nanjust60 Fri 24-Apr-20 13:21:27

Can you let me know the name of the lotion please

soop Fri 24-Apr-20 13:17:40

phoenix, thanks for sharing and putting a smile on my face. My husband, MacSporran bravely took a photo of a red/purple lump protruding from my backside (size of a golf ball) and, in spite of two sessions of surgery, it continues to accompany me wherever I go. It's a rectal prolapse. I think to myself...providing the flatulence holds on until I retire to some place private, I'll be thankful for small mercies. wink

Nanjust60 Fri 24-Apr-20 13:16:58

Thank you

phoenix Fri 24-Apr-20 13:11:16

Erm, just answered that one, Nanjust60 !

Nanjust60 Fri 24-Apr-20 13:09:42

You mentioned skin tag cream does it work ?

phoenix Fri 24-Apr-20 13:05:00

Nanjust it's a sort of lotion that freezes them, Mr P has used it and says it works.

Buttonjugs pretty sure it's not a boil, spot or pimple!

Bluegrass Fri 24-Apr-20 12:56:32

Hahahaha.........hahahaha.... Good luck with it...?

cannotbelieveiamaskingthis208 Fri 24-Apr-20 12:47:39

This post made my day! Hope all is ok!

Buttonjugs Fri 24-Apr-20 12:41:02

Are you sure it’s not just a boil? There is a condition called a pilonidal cyst that appears in the natal cleft but it’s usually only seen in people under 40.

Nanjust60 Fri 24-Apr-20 12:40:31

You mentioned cream for skin tags is it any good

phoenix Fri 24-Apr-20 12:33:13

Definitely not a pile, it's in completely the wrong place!

The surgery phoned, the photographs weren't clear enough, apparently.confused

So Mr P had to try again, using his phone this time, rather than my tablet.

Marydoll Fri 24-Apr-20 12:30:26

When I was expecting my second child, I was visiting my mum and went into labour early.
I ended up in the hospital at my mum's, where I had my first son. I was quite happy, as it meant I would get plenty visitors.
That was until the curtains opened and the boy I had a crush on for years, opened the screens, he was the doctor on call.
I don't know who was more embarrassed, him or me. blush. He got such a rollicking from the consultant, because he hadn't examined me. sad. I explained that he was getting nowhere near me.
I was on bed rest for a week, when I was told I could go home and have my baby at the planned hospital.

I was home for only an hour, went for a bath, then thought I was giving birth in the bath, when something, resembling a melon appeared.
DH was freaking out, as it definitely wasn't a baby.
Rushed to hospital, where I had all these people round my bed, wanting to have a look.
Eventually the docs asked if the could take pictures for a medical journal. I was absolutely mortified, but agreed, as long as my face wasn't visible. I knew too many doctors.
There were a stream of medics, all wanting a look.
So Phoenix, I hope this reassures you, that others share your embarrassment. wink

It turned out that it was a very large polyp, which appeared and disappeared after the next two births.

crimpedhalo Fri 24-Apr-20 12:19:17

@Bettyboop49

??????

crimpedhalo Fri 24-Apr-20 12:16:01

@Nannan2
Yes I agree...I always say
'dirt has no gender, anyone can see it and clean it' ?
?

Guineagirl Fri 24-Apr-20 12:09:03

Just wondering if it is an old pile as I have one that’s years old and goes purple too. Just to reassure you that’s all. I got told some just don’t disappear totally. Is it also maybe due to not drying after showering like a cyst blister I also had one not so long ago and I realised I wasn’t drying properly.

Daddima Fri 24-Apr-20 12:07:50

I remember the doctor who had stitched me after baby #1 came into the ward a couple of days later. I said I’d met him when he did the stitching, but he said he saw so many, it was hard to remember everybody.

When he inspected the stitches he said, “ Ah yes, I remember you now”.

icanhandthemback Fri 24-Apr-20 12:00:13

phoenix it’s not sad to be predictable if the thing your predictable for is bringing some fun, humour and laughter into others lives. I think that’s a lovely trait ?

I think that says anything I would say apart from thank you for putting a smile on my face this morning.

farview Fri 24-Apr-20 11:54:34

Laughing...nearly choked on my cheese buttie ??

kittylester Fri 24-Apr-20 11:48:17

As I said, Phoenix.......not sad at a!

BlueSky Fri 24-Apr-20 11:19:29

Thank you Sussexborn great that the treatment worked for you. Yes we need to go through some very undignified procedures but if they help to save our lives, so be it!

jaylucy Fri 24-Apr-20 11:17:09

As others have said, if you have had children, having complete strangers look at various parts of your body becomes the norm. I even had the indignity of having to have my episiostosmy painted with mercurochrome after my son was born.
I did draw the line though when one of the nurses asked if I wanted to swab my elderly father's groin when he was admitted to hospital !

Heather51 Fri 24-Apr-20 11:17:05

I do love your posts Phoenix they really brighten up the day. Even when it’s a serious subject you manage to put a humorous twist on it. Long may it continue! Hope everything is ok.
When I have to have steroid injections (one in each cheek) my husband always offers to draw targets on my bottom for the nurse ?

Sussexborn Fri 24-Apr-20 11:01:10

My stepmother and her siblings were made to wear a vest type garment even in the bath. Her sister was giving birth and expected the baby to come out of her navel - she had unexpected twins! What a shock!

Strawberry22 Fri 24-Apr-20 11:00:57

Had to laugh about the lady with piles who rolled over whenever she saw someone wearing a white coat,oh that made me laugh,and the comment about the decorators thankfully not being there.Thanks for the laugh,love all the comments though ?xx

Sussexborn Fri 24-Apr-20 10:54:23

Blue Sky: Extremely rare form of cancer. I was first to have the treatment. Only his wife, another lady and one man being treated apart from me. It’s a recurring disease. The treatment worked for me (though had four recurrences since then) but sadly not for the others.

Can’t give more info without publicly identifying him and his late wife. She was one of the kindest people I have ever met! I still miss her.