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He's giving up smoking and I'm in the firing line...

(8 Posts)
boheminan Sun 05-Jul-20 10:34:10

My partner needs to give up smoking, he started behind the bike sheds very many years ago!

He's into 'week 3' of giving up the sacred weed and has turned into a monster. His bad temper is constantly hovering between us, and I'm avoiding him. I should say, I've never smoked and find it hard to sympathize, though I'm desperately trying not to show it. He refuses to see GP, try vapes/patches.

It's at a point where I'm tempted to suggest he starts puffing again, just for things to get back to where they were before.

I'm sure we can't be the only ones facing this situation. Please, how have others (or did others) cope with this?

Calendargirl Sun 05-Jul-20 11:45:40

After years of nagging, my DH gave up smoking after having a really bad cough and cold.

He didn’t announce it, he just went cold turkey, and that was it.

This was nearly 20 years ago.

I was so proud of him, but it wasn’t my nagging, he had to want to do it himself.

I have no advice for you, sorry, but DH just did it.

mumofmadboys Sun 05-Jul-20 11:57:39

Can you tell him how proud you are of him for giving up and how much better it will be for his health? And then if possible say you are finding him a bit irritable and that is hard to cope with but in the long run there will be so many benefits. Perhaps he doesn't realise how bad tempered he is. Few more weeks and it will be a lot easier. He ( and you! ) are over the worse. Stick with it! Let us know how things go.

Atqui Sun 05-Jul-20 14:02:25

Many years ago I was in the same situation. I asked him to stop the car by a shop, bought some cigarettes and matches and threw them at him!He tried many things , but an Alan Carr workshop worked in the end and he hasn’t touched one for 20 years

fevertree Sun 05-Jul-20 14:35:57

Absolutely stick with it! My OH gave up cigarettes on about the 3rd try** and was really bad tempered. (He also had a lot of nasal mucus that his body seemed to purge, that wasn't fun for him).

Re the bad mood, I just casually mentioned that grumpiness is a known symptom of nicotine withdrawal, but it's cool, we will ride it out together smile (and I meant it). I never mentioned it again.

**I used to be disappointed when he relapsed, until I learnt that it is common to have around 4 or so cycles of trying to give up, and that with each attempt the chances of success are better.

Good luck!

fevertree Sun 05-Jul-20 14:43:46

I meant to add, like you, I have never smoked and I had little sympathy and had to bite my tongue ...

I hate smoking

boheminan Sun 05-Jul-20 15:30:24

He wants to do it himself calendargirl, for his health he has to give up - but that goes out the window first thing in the morning when he really 'needs a fag'. I've told him how great it is he's giving up, but it's met with a snortsad. I'd feel boosted if the end of the grumpiness was in sight. Is three weeks to soon to expect any return from being a grumpy old man to a reasonable human being? The explanation of 4 cycles gives me hope fevertree but I might have to resort to tactics like yours Atqui.

Gingster Sun 05-Jul-20 20:35:38

My DH has smoked cigars for years and it was getting more and more often. I had asked, pleaded, nagged but it got me nowhere, so a few years ago I gave up. I thought well it’s up to him.. 2 months ago he had a TIA (mild stroke ) and the children told him he has to give up. He too went cold turkey and I’m so proud of him as he hasn’t had one since then. He is grumpy but I don’t think that’s anything to do with withdrawal symptoms, he’s always grumpy. ! 😂