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Husband in hospital far away

(17 Posts)
Notjustaprettyface Sat 25-Jul-20 17:18:33

My husband had a fall last week whilst we were down in Dorset for a few days break . He suffered a hip fracture and had an operation to repair the hip the next day at A hospital down there .
I finished the holiday in the accommodation we had booked on my own but visited him every day
I then went back up north where we live and 3 days later went back down there , staying 3 days in a hotel in my own and again I visited him every day
As it stands we don’t know when he will be discharged from that hospital nor where he will be sent to , either another hospital , a care home or home
At the moment I don’t think he is fit to come home but I can’t keep going down there as the journey is long and bad on my own
I am worried that , if this drags on , he will go down with depression as he won’t have visitors
Has anybody had a situation like this to cope with ? Can he self discharge if it drags on too much ?
But if you do that , do you still have access to nhs services ?
Hope someone out there can help
Thank you

biba70 Sat 25-Jul-20 17:20:58

How sad- but surely, the best thing is for you to find a holiday studio or caravan, or whatever cheaper than a Hôtel and stay there as long as he is there, so you can visit daily.

Notjustaprettyface Sat 25-Jul-20 17:25:31

Yes biba70 I agree but believe me I have tried and there is nothing available
The Covid problem is making things worse and also I have a dog and not many places accept dogs

MellowYellow Sat 25-Jul-20 17:32:25

Travelodges take dogs. Could you find one near-ish to the hospital? Sorry you're going through this.

Susan56 Sat 25-Jul-20 17:39:11

Our neighbour had a fall last summer and was transferred to a hospital nearer home.Don’t know if this is an option but worth investigating.

Notjustaprettyface Sat 25-Jul-20 17:39:47

Nearest travelodge is Poole

geekesse Sat 25-Jul-20 17:49:29

Can I suggest you contact the hospital chaplain? Even if you are not religious, hospital chaplains are very experienced in helping patients and their families deal with circumstances like yours. He or she may be able to give you advice or support, and at the very least may be willing to visit your husband regularly, or arrange for volunteer hospital visitors to do so.

Sussexborn Sat 25-Jul-20 17:53:07

My FIL had a stroke in a London hospital and was transferred down to his home town by the NHS in an ambulance with trained staff doing the lifting etc.

Contact the PALS office at the current hospital and/or your local hospital to ask for help. Perhaps contact the local Rotary group or Silverline (Esther Rantzen’s group) to see if they can find someone locally to visit and offer support to give you a break.

The hospital won’t want to keep him blocking a bed any longer than necessary but moving him too soon is likely to cause more damage and make things far worse for you both in the long term.

Illte Sat 25-Jul-20 18:01:14

If your husband discharges himself he has, in essence, refused further treatment for his injury. He will have to sign to say this to release the hospital from any liability.

Readmission where you live would either be through your GP or as an emergency. You would have to arrange transport yourself.

Private ambulances are understandably reluctant to take patients who have discharged themselves since the likelihood of further injury or complications is very high.

I really don't think this is a, route you want to consider.

Can I suggest you contact the PALS service at the hospital to see whether a transfer to a hospital near you is a possibility. You would still have to pay for the transfer and it could only be done if and when doctors think it will do no harm.

PALS may be able to help you with local accommodation though in the present epidemic I'm afraid that's unlikely. Many of their B&B contacts who specifically offer rooms to relatives will not be taking people.

I'm afraid you are in a hard place with few solutions.

PamelaJ1 Sat 25-Jul-20 18:13:52

Like others I don’t think they will want to keep him for longer than they have to. Perhaps you could pay for a private ambulance to get him closer to home?
I admit that I have no clue how much that may cost but it might be cheaper and easier than you trying to find accommodation.
If you have an annual travel insurance they may cover it.

Charleygirl5 Sat 25-Jul-20 18:25:16

It is not a case of paying for transport to get him closer to home. That is not how the system works. If his consultant thinks he is fit to travel, arrangements will be made for his transfer and when there is a bed available he will go in an NHS ambulance. Please do not go down the private route, it would be a hiding to nothing. Please also do not allow him to self-discharge- you will be very much on your own with only your GP to help if he needs any other care..

biba70 Sat 25-Jul-20 18:27:57

If you Google 'holiday Accommodation with a dog- lots of sites come up.

biba70 Sat 25-Jul-20 18:28:25

Perhaps a gran here could help? I would if you had to stay near me.

Smileless2012 Sat 25-Jul-20 18:32:24

You should maybe contact your GP. I don't see why your H can't be transferred to a hospital where you live.

Illte Sat 25-Jul-20 18:32:45

We had to pay for a private ambulance for my sister to be transferred to a hospital closer to her family Charleygirl. Perhaps different trusts work differently?

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 25-Jul-20 18:35:16

A friend fell and broke her leg in North Devon after her op she was transferred up to Oxfordshire where she lives.
Start making a noise With the hospital and get him moved back closer to home.

PamelaJ1 Sat 25-Jul-20 18:44:00

Charleygirl, a friend did this and it seemed to work for them.