Gransnet forums


Hearing aids (or not) causing distress

(14 Posts)
Riversidegirl Tue 04-Aug-20 15:48:35

DH will not wear his hearing aids and it is beginning to cause arguments between us because he often claims in retrospect that he did not hear what I said. I try and get him to acknowledge things, but then he gets angry. Any ideas anyone?

NotSpaghetti Tue 04-Aug-20 16:51:14

Can you find out exactly why he doesn't wear it?
Obviously in a "kind and concerned" voice or he will go on being angry!!
It may be something that can be fixed/adjusted...

fflur Tue 04-Aug-20 20:29:30

Not all hearing problems can be helped by hearing aids which are basically microphones in your ear canal. I have a high pitch deafness which means those nerves are dead and the other nerves over compensate and sounds are very loud and unpleasant. I wear hearing aids for talks and lectures and meeting friends in quiet venues, otherwise the background noise is unbearable and I still can't actually hear what my friends are saying.

vegansrock Tue 04-Aug-20 20:42:21

There was a thread about this recently. My OH was the same until
He got on an nhs clinical trial of smart hearing aids made by Otikon. They cut out background noise in different settings. He hasn’t looked back and neither have I. The audiologist at the hospital told him that 60% of patients prescribed hearing aids don’t wear them and they were going to see if it was more cost effective to give use smart hearing aids together with a smartphone.

kittylester Tue 04-Aug-20 21:08:46

The answer to getting used to hearing aids is to wear them all the time.

CocoPops Wed 05-Aug-20 00:41:32

I have severe hearing loss and originally wore NHS hearing aids which I later learned were old models. For example they did not block out background noise so were useless in restaurants. Then I emigrated to N. America and found a super centre for the deaf. I had lengthly computerised tests and 2 follow ups and now have bang up to date aids and can hear people in restaurants
and in a crowd clearly. So I think hard of hearing people benefit enormously from well trained technicians using aids with the latest technology.

Franbern Wed 05-Aug-20 08:46:33

It does seem so strange how many people (often male), feel that needing hearing aids is a sign of serious aging. Many of these happily use spectacles for aid their sight.
Not being able to hear properly is very isolating - and can cause quite bad mental problems in the long run.
I wear hearing aids in both ears and am so delighted that these give me the facility of hearing what people are saying to me. Still use sub titles on TV, but can keep volume on TV at a very reasonable level.
My Dad, always refused to wear any hearing aids (mind you, back then (1970's), they were inefficient , whistled and involved a large box). However, as my first born got to the age of speaking, we finally convinced Dad to get one so "that he would be able to hear his g.son talk to him".
Perhaps you need some sort of angle like this, to get him t o go for a hearing test and to 'try out' some aids. As has been said, they do take a few weeks to get used to.

Davidhs Wed 05-Aug-20 08:59:48

Private hearing aids are very expensive, father in law had a pair that cost him £2000 but did not improve his hearing much. They were the small in the ear type with fiddly little batteries that he couldn’t change and then the dog ate one of the aids. Faced with the cost of a new pair he reverted to NHS behind the ear which he copes with better.

It is irritating having a deaf relative so you have to adapt yourself, you need to attract their attention before you speak. The microphones are at the front, speech from behind is not heard clearly, it’s frustrating for both.

My own experience of hearing aids is they are uncomfortable and help in a quiet environment, if you move into a noisy place, a restaurant or a car they need to be reset. In a loud environment they overload and squeal, so you take them out.

Hearing aids that could be reset to a usable level using a smartphone app, the earpiece would just be the amplifier the smartphone would do all the processing, that would be a big step forward and not expensive.

Hetty58 Wed 05-Aug-20 09:08:31

Riversidegirl, maybe he prefers not to hear (or be expected to listen)? If it's important, write him a note, otherwise, ignore him and just get on with your own stuff!

Parky Wed 05-Aug-20 09:10:33

I have had hearing aids since my 50s, hearing is getting worse. Main problem I have is struggling to wear both aids, one of them whistles if anyone goes to hug embarrassing. So of course I don't wear it. These are private ones and they can't seem to fix the problem.

I have now been to NHS clinic and they are sourcing a new pair, they are behind the ear and slightly larger than current ones, but my hair will cover them.

Your husband may be embarrassed to have them on show, hard to have others see you are getting old.

Parky Wed 05-Aug-20 09:12:28

Well said davids so agree with you

NotSpaghetti Thu 06-Aug-20 14:56:02

That's fantastic vegansrock - I hope it works out well and they offer these to more people!

Riversidegirl Fri 07-Aug-20 13:07:47

Thank you everyone; there are a lot of helpful posts here, and I shall study them. I do realise too that it's not just him! I'm not perfect !!

Puzzled Sun 09-Aug-20 20:59:45

Have had noise related hearing loss for many nyears. Unfortunately, this greatly damages hearing over then brange of the human voice.
When retired, the Doc referred me to the NHS Audiology clinic. With 30 mins, after a hearing test, walked out with two aids programmed to my ears.
Three years later, called in for replacement, now digital aids. Two weeks ago, one died. Called in for repair, tested, two new aids in 20 mins.

Wouldn't be without my aids! Only come out at night.
If DH has problems, he should discuss with the Audiologist, so that whatever is troubling him can be corrected.
It could save his life, unless he wants to step into the road without looking or listening
Vanity is incurable though!