BLACK DOG 8

Scaredycat I think of you often, when I recall that knock on
the door when they come to tell me my husband was dead, I
cannot even think how it would have been if one of our little
ones had been with him. And like me you watched someone you love suffer the hell of bi polar, such hell they took their
lives. You are one very special girl x

Chrissy how are you coping ? x

nanny great you will see your granddaughter x

Doodle if you look in , sending love and a cwtch x

Hello all. Hope everyone is ok.
Haven’t had a second to myself today. DH is now asleep so I have popped in to see how you all are.
Annie thanks for your kind thoughts and prayers. Hope you are ok.
Nonnie you sound a bit brighter again. Lots going on to keep you busy. Nice to be in on the engagement secret ? Your cooking frenzy seemed to keep you busy. Hope the tasting goes well.
Scaredycat must be a sad thing to be laying a wreath for your son and his dad. Comforting of your DH to go with you.
How lovely that your family live close by and can be together at Christmas. I know you will miss being there too but knowing they are ok is what matters.
Bluesky I think you are right to consider carefully where you would like to live and why. Many people make a change and then regret it. We are very lucky to have moved to an apartment which suits us well. Neither of us are keen gardeners but we have lovely gardens close by to walk in. No outdoor painting or decorating to consider or any outdoor maintenance. We are only responsible for looking after our flat on the inside. We have a gardener and cleaners who do the communal areas and a management team that look after all the maintenance. We did a lot of research before moving here so knew what we were looking for. We are lucky to have some lovely neighbours. 4 of them already been round to ask if they can help with anything after DHs fall.
We too will be on our own for Christmas. That’s ok, we are fine with that.
Chrissy how are you doing at the moment. You seem to be coping well. I do hope that is the case,
henetha I am sorry you had a bad weekend. It must have made you panic when things went downhill so quickly.
It is quite often not one big thing that gets us but an accumulation of smaller things. The final one pushes us over the top. Hope you are on a better level now. Come here and chat anytime. We are a good comfort blanket,

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and comments about DH. He is in a lot of pain. Fortunately, he has slept much of the day but any movement is agonising. I managed to get him to take a few bites of a sandwich as I don’t like him taking lots of tablets on an empty stomach but he isn’t really hungry.
Hope the pain will ease soon so he can be a bit more mobile.
Take care all and sleep peacefully. x

doodle I hope DH is ok! how scary. henetha I hope you are feeling brighter today. Welcome to this very friendly group. nonnie I,d eat that
annie i hope you are ok today scaredy how awful for you. I am sorry for both your losses bluesky christmas day was going to be a day of tears for me as i wasnt seeing my beautiful GD but we are going on 23rd and leaving to come home early morning on 25th!! so i get to see her. I cant wait.
To anyone i,ve missed , forgive me, but i hope you are all well xx

Evening everyone
Doodle I’m glad that the ambulance came and your DH was checked over. Thank goodness he didn’t have a punctured lung and was able to stay at home, I’m not surprised that he’s in a lot of pain. How scary for you both. I hope that he’s soon on the mend. Thinking of you both.
hi henetha I haven’t met you before. I’m so sorry to hear that the depression hit you hard over the weekend. It can creep up and hit at any time I know. I’m glad to hear that things are settling down again. Sounds like you’ve had a lot of things going on, maybe it just got too much. I hope that things continue to settle down.
Nonnie Your choc mess sounds delicious even if it turned out different to what you planned And not only that but some sort of toffee as well
Scaredycat I know what you mean about the days all blending in together and time seems to be speeding up as well.
Annie Hope you’re doing ok.
Hi to everyone, hope you all have a nice evening and a peaceful night’s sleep x

Afternoon all.
Just done my next Tescos order it feels like I do it about 3 times a week!!! All the days are starting to blend into one aren,t they. So thankful for all the cheery people who do the deliveries it looks such hard work.

Doodle- oh your poor DH I hope he will be ok. What a horrible shock for you both.Hope you both managed to get some sleep although it must be very hard for your DH and you,ll be wanting to keep your eye on him too. Thinking of you.x
Annie- I,m ok today thanks- how are you? You are often in my thoughts
Henetha- I,ve not met you before but I,m sorry you have had a bad weekend. I hope you are feeling better now.
Nonnie- yes I,m always pleased when we,ve been to the Church although it doesn,t get any easier . It looked pretty when we had finished.
I love the sound of your baking today- all the things I like rolled into one!! Lucky whoever gets to test it tomorrow. It kept your mind occupied too so win-win!!! x
To all BDG have a nice evening and peaceful night

Scardycat it takes courage to go to the church with the wreath and very emotional when you get there but I'm sure you are glad you did.

Thanks, yes a little more positive.

BlueSky we planned to buy a bungalow but fell in love with this house. As our surveyor friend said, we can always get a stair lift if necessary. Our 98 year old neighbour who died a couple of months ago lived on her own with help coming in. She had been there over 50 years and it would have been a big upheaval to move.

Oh Doodle poor DH and such a worry for you. Cracked ribs are very painful and make calling out very difficult as it is too painful to take a breath. Going to be a few weeks of not being able to do much.

Henetha perhaps you bottle things up and then they become the last straw which breaks you? Admitting to ourselves can be a problem, especially if you are the type to ignore things in the hope they will go away.

Been baking this morning, not very successfully. My choc roulade fell apart so will have to be a sort of choc mess, like Eton mess but with choc cake instead of meringue.

While I was there I went round the kitchen looking at what I could get rid of, started with a bag of marshmallows, added some raisins, Nutella, syrup, butter, meusli ............ Baked it and seems to be some sort of toffee. I am either a domestic goddess or a failed creative! It will be 'judged' by the experts tomorrow. The point of telling you this is that I was trying to distract my brain from all the thinking! It worked.

henetha when the brute strikes it does leave us fearful even
when it has passed and it does pass.

Covid isolation is causing the brute to work overtime and the
‘What ifs’ pour into our thoughts. Talk here anytime.

Have a peaceful Christmas x

So nice of you Anniebach to ask. I am more or less ok now, but feel shaken. Also wary in case it happens again.
I think it was an accumilation of things, - covid isolation plus family problems.
Very best wishes to you for a peaceful Christmas.

Sorry it pounced henetha, it’s a sly brute isn’t it ? How are
you now ?

I'm so much better these days, but suddenly had a visit by a very big black dog this weekend. It was frightening.

Hi all x

Doodle you must both be shaken up and tired , sending love x

How is everyone ?

Ambulance just gone. They think he may have cracked ribs but not punctured lung which was their main concern.
They decided not to take him to hospital unless absolutely necessary so he is dosed up with pain killers. He can hardly move and every movement is so painful. I hope he gets some sleep. Sorry not really got the energy to catch up tonight but I hope you’re all ok. Back tomorrow x

Evening everyone
Doodle That’s good that your DH had a better night’s sleep on Saturday night, hope he slept well last night as well.
nanny It was me that said that your son’s business partner would have to move in as binks had taken a liking to her, I didn’t realise that she actually did live with you I hope that you’re feeling a bit better today but if not then please talk to us.
Annie I’ve been thinking about the sentence you posted ‘Don’t take tomorrow to bed with you’. It’s probably me but I don’t understand it. I could understand ‘Don’t take today to bed with you’ but not ‘tomorrow’. Could you explain it to me please, I hate it when I don’t understand something
Nonnie I’m glad that you didn’t have time to come on here yesterday because you had too many nice things happen You certainly have a lot of things in your diary this week. What good news that your DH’s appointment went well.
Scaredycat I can’t say that I know how you feel when you visit your son’s and his Dad’s graves but I can imagine how difficult it must be. It’s good that your DH goes as well to support you. How lovely that you have a lot of family living nearby. Our 2 daughters live about a 45 minute drive away so not very far.
BlueSky We moved to this bungalow 5 years ago as stairs were getting to be a bit of a challenge mainly for my DH.
Oh goodness Doodle I’ve just seen this. I hope it is just bruising. It must have terrified both of you. Hopefully you’ll hear back from 111 soon. Will be thinking of you both x
Sleep well everyone x

Oh no Doodle! Hope all will be well with your DH x

Doodle you know you are both in our thoughts and prayers x

Evening all. Hope you are all ok.
Sorry no time to read just want to let you know DH fell down the stairs earlier and is in lots of pain. Don’t think anything is broken just really badly bruised. I am waiting for the 111 service to phone back and keeping an eye on him at the same time. Hope to catch up with you all when I can. x

Evening all x Good god Scaredy you lost your son and husband too! No words really x Glad you have a lovely family nearby.
Nonnie you are right especially as we get older, we need all the facilities nearby, which we already have where we live now. Our next door neighbour is 95 and lives on her own so it is feasible even staying put where we are, but occasionally we wonder whether a bungalow or a retirement apartment would be better. Agree your DH will be a new man with his knee replacement, same as mine with his back sorted!
So this year a lot of us will be on our own/just the two of us for Christmas, many because of Covid and others like ourselves, because our families are far away. We can only hope it’ll all come clean in the wash eventually.
Have a pleasant evening x

Hi all
We,ve just been to put the Xmas Wreath on my sons and his Dads grave. So grateful that my DH comes with me and helps it is so hard to be there on a cold and dreary day. After all these years it still seems like yesterday when I am at the Church.

Doodle- glad your DH had a good night last night - me too!! Perhaps we are synchronised!!
Yes both my DD and GD with husband and 2 children live close by and my daughters youngest girl still lives at home as property is so expensive here. So Xmas we will be alone as they will have a houseful and we are happy with that as we have to be careful. We will miss them all so much though but at least we can just pop over to say Happy Xmas in the morning so just a doorstep visit. What strange times we live in. Roll on the Vaccine!!!
Nanny- Binks has got it made and a live in admirer too! He looks sweet. I have never understood why black cats get left behind at catteries I love them . I hope you are feeling a bit brighter.
Nonnie- everything you say about moving house is so true especially as we get older. Just like you we ended up somewhere with everything at hand but more by luck than judgement.
Good to,hear you sounding more positive. I think you are very much a people person who needs to be busy . Your friend obviously thinks a lot of you to entrust you with such a lovely secret- wonder why it is one though.
Enjoy your busy week and great news about your DH it will give him a new lease of life.

Take care all BDG and stay warm and safexx

Nanny I didn't see the post but saw the responses and then read your subsequent post. Do please get some support locally. Many are damaged by their past, some feel they can talk about it all, some only want to give bits of information and others don't want to talk at all. We are all here if you want to talk but also to support you if you don't. Love the photo of Binks.

BlueSky sometimes friends are better than relatives and come become very close.

If you do move, we have many times, choose the location very carefully. As we get older convenience seems to be more important than anything else, essential shopping close enough to walk to, public transport nearby etc. We didn't look for those, didn't think about it, just a coincidence we have them all which made us realise how important they are.

Too busy to come on here yesterday. Kept being interrupted but by good things, friends calling and so on. Good news that a friend is engaged and lovely that we are in the privileged group who have been told. No idea why it is a secret.

One of my friends says she is getting a good social life from Zoom, wish I was happy with that, I need to be with people, a screen is not enough for me.

Busy week ahead, going to post box today, collecting prescription tomorrow, driving my friend to medical appointment on Wednesday, hair cut Thursday and a Zoom Christmas party Thursday evening. How will I cope with all the excitement?

DH very happy with his hospital appointment, now on the list for a new knee.

Hi all x

Came across the following when reading Norman Vincent Peale quotes

“Don’t take tomorrow to bed with you “

nanny you take good care of Binks. He’s a lucky puss. Take good care of yourself too. Sleep well x

Good evening everyone I hope you have all had a good day xx I have had some time with binks. Someone on an earlier message said steph should move in...she has lived with us since June and as binks has her wrapped around his paw its a good thing ha ha

In late this evening. Been busy most of the day.
Chrissy must be nice to have a cousin close by that you get on with. A walk on the seafront sounds lovely.
Thank you for asking, actually DH had a really good nights sleep last night for a change.
Nanny Binks is a lovely looking car. Such thick dark fur.
Nanny I obviously missed a post earlier that you have now deleted. I’m not sure what it said but from comments here it sounds as though you were/are feeling very low.
Please do what others suggest and phone the Samaritans if you need help as Annie said, they will not judge. What can I say, we all have times when things are hard for us. When we are sad or in despair but those times can pass or at least mellow a little. Whatever is going on, you know we are here.
Take care of yourself and Binks and your dogs and cats and I hope lightness will come back to you soon.
Bluesky no we do not live in a retirement block. It just so happens that most of the people here are our age. We have a young mum next door with a little boy and a chap in his 40s but apart from that the rest of us are oldies.
We moved to a flat for the very reason you mentioned. We love it here. We are lucky but I think if you look carefully you can find a flat that’s right for you. If you get to seriously thinking about it PM me and I will tell you what to look out for (DH and I looked at over 50 flats in two areas before we found this one).
Annie you have mentioned your sisters many times. I cannot understand their attitude. If it was just one then maybe but the three of them must know you are on your own and what you’ve gone through. I am so sorry they have let you down so badly.
Scaredycat it’s funny how much we rely on FaceTime now to see people. Does your DD and her family live close by to you?
Will you see any of the family for Christmas? DH and I will be on our own. Not taking the chance of being with others as DH is one of the shielded patients.
Nanny I hope you will be ok. Take care everyone and sleep peacefully x

Evening everyone
nanny I didn’t see your post before it was deleted but going by what Annie has said I understand that you must be struggling. You said that you asked for the post to be deleted in case it was too upsetting for people to read. Speaking for myself I wish that you would tell us about how you’re feeling, bottling things up is the worst thing you can do. I have had 2 breakdowns in the past and I’ve phoned the Samaritans several times. As Annie said they will not judge you at all whatever you tell them and it really does help to talk about things. So we get to see the famous Binks
BlueSky Sorry to hear that you’re feeling miserable. We have also been thinking about what we would do when one of us was left alone. It’s a difficult decision.
Annie I have a friend who lives in North Wales and I was regularly up their visiting (not this year unfortunately). I could pretty much guarantee that it was going to rain a lot while I was there I can see how difficult it must be for you if your sister answers the phone at the pharmacy, so sad.
Scaredycat Yes it is lovely living near the sea, we get down to the seafront as much as we can. How lovely that you spoke to your sister and your DD and GD turned up.
lavender Just in case you take a minute to check in, I hope the move has happened and you’re now in your new home. I know how stressful it is.
Doodle Joce Nonnie rafichagran Hope you’re all ok.
Enjoy the rest of your evening everyone and sleep well x

Good afternoon everyone.

Nanny- please contact the Samaritans or your GP. You can get help with how you are feeling without judgement. Your furry companions obviously bring you a lot of comfort but you need human contact too. As Annie says please reach out for help if you are able. Thinking of you.

Bluesky- yes it’s pretty miserable here too- dull, dark, wet and cheerless no wonder we feel miserable too. Hope things improve soon. Moving is a pretty big decision to make and there is a lot to consider so take lots of time if that’s what you decide to do. Good that there are lots of nice places near you.

Chrissy- having the sea so close to you must be wonderful and it’s lovely you have the companionship of your cousin on your walks sometimes.

Annie- it’s so sad to hear of the rift between you and your sisters. If they knew how much you have to deal with surely they would be concerned for you.
It’s good you have a Warden who you see every week and hopefully he or she can help if there is anything you need regarding your home. But I do understand how you miss the mix of ages that you get in an ordinary street. Will you be seeing your MT soon?

It was nice this morning. As when I was Face Timing with my sister my DD and GD brought Xmas cards round so she was able to see them too. It’s such a long time since she has seen them so it was lovely even though it was on the doorstep on my phone!! I miss my family more as each week goes by as I am sure you all do.
Nonnie,Doodle,Lavender,Joce,Rafichagran and all enjoy the rest of your Sunday and have a peaceful nightxxx