BLACK DOG 8

Bluesky. I so understand, I live in a small Welsh market town , everyone knows everyone, when I am asked about family I
say ‘I have no family here’ and have three sisters living here,
even more embarrassing my youngest sister works in the
pharmacy, if she answers when I have to phone about delivery
of those damn bottles I give my name and address as if I was
talking to a stranger, it hurts , she is my favourite sister, always
very close, I helped bring her up because out mother had very
poor health.

Anyway, your concerns about moving and where to. I don’t
know anything about private retirement development , I live
in council accommodation for over 65’s and disabled . It has
advantages and disadvantages, I miss not seeing people of
different ages, but a warden checks every week to ask if things
are ok.

Am sure Doodle will share her views

Annie you are correct my sons and family live abroad, and DH and I have no brothers or sisters, so no close family. Sadly as in your case, having sisters nearby doesn’t always help x

nanny please don’t be concerned your post caused upset,
you do need to share, the Samaritans never, ever judge I promise you and no way will you be judged here.

If you have a manic bout will you please reach out, please x

I will go and see my stinky binky as I call him ha ha. And give him some love and no doubt get thumped for crossing the line ( i am currently in bed being cuddled by the dogs)

Good morning all. Thank you for your concern. I had the post removed as I felt that it was too upsetting for people. I will be ok. I cannot speak to anyone unless I'm manic because I have bottled up damaging incidents from my childhood through fear of being called a liar that I now cannot release anything xx I promise I will be ok xc but so lovely for you all to be here to support me xx

Hi all x

How is everyone ? raining in Mid Wales - again.

BlueSky moving house is such a big decision, lavender is
moving this weekend .

Am I correct you have no family living near ?

Morning all x Feeling like the weather today, miserable but then what really have I got to complain about? Trying to ‘snap out of it’ as they say.
Doodle you say you live in a apartment block with many people our age. Is it a retirement development? We have been toying with the idea as to our next move, as there are some lovely such places nearby. If one of us was left on their own, then maybe would feel safer and less lonely.
Posted our neighbours’ cards through their door and that is as much interaction we have.
Nanny can’t read your message but it seems that Annie and others are worried about you, so please do take care and take their advice. Blink is gorgeous by the way!
Hope you’ll all have a peaceful Sunday x ?

nanny please phone the Samaritans- 116 123 , anytime day
or night,

Speak to your GP and tell him/her exactly how you are feeling
and do speak here as often as you want,

I will check the thread throughout the day ,

You will come through this my love but you must share your
fears

Hugs x

nanny2507.I am sure Annieand the gang will be along to support you soon. I am sorry you feel so bad. Meanwhile if you haven't already done so please ring the Samaritans. Or ring them again if you need to.
I love your cat by the way. We always have black cats as they seem to get left behind at the recsue centre.

Binks

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Evening everyone
Annie Yes, I’m so pleased that we have such lovely new neighbours. I don’t like red either, it was my mum’s favourite colour and in photos when I was growing up I was always dressed in red. I love purple though
Nonnie I’m glad that your DH’s referral has gone through. It’s not good enough for the doctors to take such a lax attitude over something as important as that. I hope that his knee consultation went well, 10 minutes is just ridiculous. It’s good you’re keeping busy Nonnie, as long as you don’t do too much.
Scaredycat I’ve never heard of the Red Hat Society. There’s nothing worse than listening to your other half’s snoring when you can’t sleep is there. You won’t be in Tier 3 forever, things will get better. I think the vaccine will make a big difference well I’m hoping anyway.
Doodle It was lovely and sunny here today. I met up with my cousin and we walked along the seafront. I’m glad that your neighbours are all friendly, it makes such a difference. I hope that your DH has a better night’s sleep tonight.
I hope everyone else is ok. Sleep well all x

Evening all.
Bright but cold here today. Went for walk. Posted some cards and had a chat with some of our neighbours we met on the way.
Chrissy we too have lived in cul-de-sacs where no one talked
We are lucky that the apartment block we live in has many people our age who are really nice and friendly.
Nice to know your new neighbours are friendly and keeping a watchful eye over you. ?
Nonnie, doctors, like all people come in all shapes and sizes. Some do exactly what they say they will do and others don’t. Some are proactive and some don’t do anything till someone gives them a kick. It shouldn’t be like that but it is. You have to stand your own corner and fight for what you think is right.
Good to hear your family are ok and you are helping out where you can.
scaredycat I have seen pictures of the red hat society in the papers. Yes I do feel for you and my DH when you can’t sleep. It sometimes takes me ages to get to sleep but when I do I’m ok. DH had a bad night last night so fingers crossed for tonight.
Annie how are you doing today. I don’t ever wear red either, it doesn’t suit me. DH is a keen fan of purple. It’s such a rich colour. Was it Lydia in the Bible who was the seller of purple cloth? It was quite valuable then I believe.
Sleep well all x

Scaredycat yes The Red Hat Society is going strong. I really
don’t like red , never wear it so my younger daughter bought me a purple hat years ago.

So good you are taking walks, yes everything seems gloomy
doesn’t it x

Hi all x

How is everyone ?

It’s good you are so busy nonnie

Hello all.
Annie- that,s a great poem. My sister in law belongs to the Red Hat Society which is an organisation for women who are growing old disgracefully!!! I think it was started in USA but is now worldwide. They do lots of fun things and visits etc and wear purple and their red hats. We bought her her first red hat!!
Nonnie- I hope your friend was helped by the link you sent to her. It’s early days for her isn,t it and Christmas will be especially hard. She is lucky to have you as a friend.
Well done for standing your ground with the surgery - it’s a shame but sometimes the only way is to be a bit forceful
It’s good to be busy Nonnie, feeling useful to your family is such a happy feeling.
Doodle- you and my DH both sleeping while your DH and myself are having our nighttime trials!!! The worse bit is having to listen to the snoring as well ?
Chrissy - pleased you have some nice new neighbours and kind as well. Children will cheer you up too.

Just had a walk - it’s very dull and damp but not so cold. Feel sad to see my village pubs shut as they are usually so full of life and light at Xmas. The way it’s going here though we,ll be in Tier 3 forever.

To all in BDG take care and hope you enjoy your dayxx

Annie Doodle is right! DH spoke to GP about 10 days ago and was told he was being referred to ENT with a cancer suspicious lump. Wasn't on his notes so he called on Wednesday, asked and was told it was with the doc. Called again yesterday and got the same response. I was angry so I called on speaker phone with DH listening and told them I was very worried and 10 days was too long for a cancer referral. Felt rather sorry for the girl I was being the 'upset wife' with but DH matters. She said she would put an 'urgent' on it for the doc. Called back a couple of hours later and said referral had gone through. There are times when you simply have to insist.

Doodle I envy your ability to sleep through. Don't be 'ashamed' count that blessing.

Chrissy your new neighbours sound lovely, keep up that contact, they need it too. One side we have a family with children 15, 12 & 8, they are really friendly and, like yours, seem to keep an eye out for us.

DH has gone for his knee consultation, it is a 10 minute appointment so we don't expect much but at least it is a start.

I seem to be getting busier and busier, mostly doing things for family. They have such a lot going on in their lives at the moment but nothing I need worry about. I think they know I like to be involved and to help where I can.

Doodle I will do that , thank you x

Chrissy how friendly you new neighbours seems and to bring a gift , they want to be good neighbours and friends x

I posted the poem because Jenny Joseph was saying -

It’s never too late and your never too old ‘

I was surprised to learn in 1996 it was voted the most favourite
post war poem and knocked Dylan Thomas’s ‘ Do Not Go
Gentle Into That Good Night’ into 2nd place.

Evening everyone
Annie Brilliant poem. So will you wear purple or have you started already? I agree with what Doodle wrote about phoning the surgery and telling them that you need to know what the GP intends to do about your problems.
Nonnie Yes, looking on the bright side there are some positive side effects. If not now then hopefully at some time in the future the link you sent on to your friend will help them.
Doodle I think it’s the right decision to contact the GP and ask what they can do to help your DH. I know how awful it is to not be able to keep still, it used to reduce me to tears.
I’m happy to say that our new neighbours who moved in about a week ago are really lovely. Nobody seems to talk in our road. It’s a cul de sac but not like the cul de sacs Ive lived in before. It’s a big circle with houses on the inside and outside all the way round, it’s got about 80 houses. Anyway we spoke to the new neighbours on the drive the other day. This evening they turned up with a poinsettia and a Christmas card, what a kind thing to do. They’re quite young and have 2 little girls. I did have to smile when they’d gone because he said that if we ever needed anything then don’t hesitate to let them know. I said to my DH that I felt that we are the ‘elderly couple next door’. Anyway it’s made me happy tonight.
I hope everyone is doing ok. Sleep well all members of the BDG x

Annie I love that poem. ?
I know you have tried to get somewhere with the GP without luck. I suggest you phone the receptionist (dragon) and tell her who you are and then say would the doctor please let you know what he/she intends to do to treat your clinical malnutrition and muscle wasting illness. Just put the ball in their court and see what the response is. Ask them to make sure the question and answer are entered on your medical records for future reference.
Thank you for your kind thoughts Chrissy. DH has so many meds I wouldn’t know where to start looking but we are thinking of contacting the GP soon to ask what they can do,
Nonnie I am ashamed to say that I sleep through DHs night time meanderings. I take ages to get to sleep but once I do I sleep well. I’m sure your friend will appreciate the gesture of sending her the link to the Twitter thread.
Take care all x

Annie all those things affect your mental health so I think you should take the kind advice you offer to all of us. The frustration is making things worse. I've just pushed DH to call the surgery again.

Doodle must be very difficult for both of you when he has what sounds rather like constant need to move. You must both be very tired.

We had a great GP before we moved here, this one is probably average. No point looking backwards, have to deal with what we have now.

Chrissy good that you had that 'side effect' from your meds. We all read about negative side effects but sometimes there are positive ones too.

This morning our Compassionate Friends WhatsApp group sent a link to a Twitter thread about how we will learn to live with the loss of someone dear. I've sent it on to a friend who lost her 19 year old son this year although I'm not sure she will be ready for it.

Trying to motivate myself today.

Hi all x

Just some light reading

WARNING

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Evening everyone
nanny It sounds like binks is settling in well. Sounds like your son’s business partner might have to move in
Nonnie thats terrible what’s happened to your DH. I smiled at what you said about your GP telling you to try getting out for 10 minutes a day. Sounds like he thinks you’re in your dotage I’m glad that all went well with your friend’s appointment yesterday.
Annie Please don’t think that you can’t talk about non mental health problems. We all want to support you whatever the issues are. It’s the same at our surgery. You phone for an appointment then you have to wait to be triaged on the phone.
Scaredycat Glad you had a better night last night.
Doodle At the beginning of the year I was the same as your DH, couldn’t keep still especially when I went to bed. Since my meds got changed it’s gone. That wasn’t what they were prescribed for, I was just lucky that they had that effect.
Hope everyone else is ok. Enjoy the rest of your evenings everyone and sleep well x

Doodle thank you x I felt uncomfortable because it wasn’t
mental health but your right , I have said body and mind can’t
be separated , it really is true .

I am angry , I looked up treatment for the muscle wasting, there are treatments which would help , ultra sound therapy,
but I was told to clench my buttocks several times a day ! ! ! !
to strengthen my thighs.

Annie if you are uncomfortable talking about these issues we will drop them but I think you are wrong when you say they are not mental health related. You have tried so hard to be motivated and get some action and you keep hitting a stumbling block with what the NHS is providing. It would certainly affect my mental health under the circumstances. You need some positive action to be able to get outside and get more out of life.
You hardly ever complain. I think you should get better service from your surgery. I wish I could get them on the phone....be brief indeed. ? I am so cross with them.
Nonnie that is bad about your DHs appointment. You are right you need to keep pushing on things as we can often slip through the net.
Glad your friends test went ok and all precautions were taken.
Hope she’s ok.
scaredycat thank you for your kind thoughts. DH has something like irritable leg syndrome but all over his body. He feels fidgety and unable to rest. When he doesn’t have that then his IBS plays up. He probably averages one good night a week. Last night was a good one ?
A good GP is worth their weight in gold. We have been blessed with some excellent ones (and some dodgy ones too )