BLACK DOG 8

Hi Annie I would really like to see a consultant gastroenterologist first, even before doing tests. Were you sedated for the endoscopy? See I’m worried about the effects of the sedation too and without it people said it’s horrendous so where do I go from here? I’m also prone to vasovagal episodes but nobody seems concerned about it, that is if they are aware, which I doubt.
I would be in your position if DH wasn’t here as I don’t drive or have family nearby. It would have to be taxi or ambulance. I realise how much I rely on him. Could your MT help with a possible consultant appointment?
A lot of you seem low at the moment I guess it to be expected. One positive is the beginning of Covid vaccinations, let’s hope it will help soon x

BlueSky an endoscopy is ok, no pain, but I understand your
fear of the virus.

I have been waiting 18 months to see a consultant, I would have to see him at hospital 20 miles away and because I have
no one to take me I could go by ambulance, means sitting in a
waiting room for hours , not doing that.

If you went private would this be for a scan or endoscopy?

Morning all x Bright if cold which should lift the spirit. Been feeling low, had a couple of days of bad health anxiety which leaves me with a sore stomach. Anyway I was offered a cancellation for a gastroscopy but I turned it down. One I was expecting a CT not an endoscopy, two at the moment with Covid around I would be too scared to have it done. Now I’m expecting an irate GP telling me off for doing this. DH noticed my upset and said I can always go private if I have to. Feeling better now. Hope you are all coping and moving forward. Have a pleasant day x

nonnie seems joint replacement ops are the answer to arthritis in knee and hip. Muscle Atrophy - surgery, physiotherapy treatment, walking ! Malnutrition- the meal replacement gives me vitamins and minerals I need but doesn’t work for the digestive system as does fibre.

I didn’t know constipation can cause sciatica, so quite possibly
my sciatica is caused by my diet and lack of exercise.

My hands are so badly twisted I can’t even peel a potato and washing tea mugs and glass tumblers are difficult, couldn’t
hold a saucepan!

Enjoy your walk x

Doodle you sound a bit down, not quite as positive as usual. Hope you get out today.

Do you have stairs? They are supposed to be good for knees, as are bikes, but that seems rather extreme!

Annie which of those can be treated. Obviously the meal replacements don't work so can they be changed? It does seem that, at last, someone is trying to help.

Lovely to get an unexpected gift.

Scardycat I feel the same as you about Christmas although we are going to DS & Dil but will miss all the others. They have it all worked out, our own bathroom, separate sofas, no hugs etc. I just hope that the video channels and ISPs will cope with all the calls.

Nanny pretty sure your knowledge of cats and your instinct with Bink will be right. Well done, enjoy. Hope the pain improves.

Of course I do Chrissy but only in my own ears . I think my voice is so bad that it means others feel good about their own

Sorry you have blipped. Must have been a very stressful Christmas last year, shame you can't make up for it this time.

I couldn't get warm yesterday, think it was because we had 2 lots of neighbours call for chats. Stood in the porch getting really cold but it was lovely to see them.

Going out soon to meet a friend in a park, I am wearing a thermal vest, two sweaters and a fleece. I will add a quilted coat and a hat and take a flask!

Hope you all have a warm day

Hi all x

lavender sends love to all and will be back with us after her
house move this month, she is very tired.

nannie longing to know if you have given a home to a pregnant cat x

How is everyone coping ?

Evening everyone
Nonnie I’m sure that you have a lovely singing voice
Doodle I’m doing ok thank you, a couple of blips but staying positive. It was very cold this morning, car was covered in ice, rained all afternoon. Hope you enjoyed your walk. Our eldest daughter and SIL are coming Christmas Day. We have it all planned, extend the dining table, us two at one end and them at the other.
Annie How lovely to get a picture of a place very close to your heart.
Scaredycat Glad you enjoyed your walk, it was very cold this morning. I’m so sorry that your son lives abroad and won’t be able to make his annual visit.
nanny I hope everything works out well with binks.
I just keep thinking about last Christmas. On Christmas Eve my 14 year old granddaughter was rushed to hospital with suspected sepsis. I spent Christmas Day sitting with my daughter in her hospital room. They couldn’t confirm a diagnosis as blood tests they sent to the lab ‘couldn’t be found’. It was so scary and we were all looking forward to a really good Christmas this year. I know there’s nothing we can do about it and everyone’s in the same boat.
Hope everyone else is ok. Sleep well all x

nannie my younger daughter saved a ferrel cat, I think about
7 years ago, she has settled living with 2 other cats and 4 dogs.

You love cats, you know what is best for Binks / Binketts ! , don’t doubt your own knowledge and experience of cats x

good evening all. thanks for all your kind words. quite a bit of pain today.
well i have bitten the bullet and I have binks in my spare room! we got him in a cage today but the vet couldnt see him so and am not prepared to keep him in a cage all night. I just wanted them to check binks over as we think he might be a pregnant she and as it is bitterly cold i am not taking the risk of him (or her) being outside anymore. But now, as most people with depression and anxiety do, i am 2nd guessing myself...m i doing the right thing or not. but i,m sticking with it

Scaredycat you said yesterday your were feeling really down and tired, missing your family and your old life, I’m only one of millions .

Don’t dismiss your feelings like that please, millions have anxiety but to each one it’s their pain , being one in millions
doesn’t ease anxiety, it’s your family, your old life, not millions but you , your emotions, your life x

Yes keep walking, I am going to be so boring about walking !
but you

Hello Scaredycat we’ve just got back too. Bitterly cold and foggy. I did keep myself entertained by looking in people windows at their Christmas decorations though ?
Goodness they must be a hardy lot where you live to be put playing tennis.

I don’t think any of your problems are ‘self inflicted’ Annie. It’s life and what happens to us. You didn’t become agoraphobic by choice but as a knock on effect of your grief over the loss of your daughter. Who can know how we will react to situations. I think you are right about keep walking though because it seems to be an aid not just to physical well-being but mental well-being too.
Hope all the BDG are ok and wrapped up warm and cosy indoors by now, ??

Good afternoon everyone.

Doodle- hope you,ve had an enjoyable walk today. We,ve just got back it was very cold but so good to be out. Funny to see people playing tennis all wrapped up! I do miss the more energetic things I used to do but so glad I can do lots of walking still.
I don,t want to think about Xmas without the family- hopefully we can just see them at the door to give them their presents. So sad I won’t see my DS as he won,t be able to make his annual Visit this Winter from abroad. But there’s Face Time thank goodness. So many people will be in the same boat though so we must make the best of it.

Annie- I do hope now the new physio has contacted the surgery you will at last get the help you need and deserve.
What a thoughtful,loving gift your daughter sent you on her birthday- I hope she had a lovely day . Some places we just hold in our hearts forever and never get tired of looking at their images.
I will walk as long as I am able- it is one of the pleasures of my life. Thank you Annie .

Nonnie,Bluesky,Lavender, Rafichagran,Joce,Flutterby,Chrissy and any I have missed sleep well tonight.x

Doodle much is self inflicted, not the arthritis, but the rest,
caused by agoraphobia caused by grief.

Body and mind can’t be separated , in my experience anyway.

My living room became my safe place ! wasn’t though .

So yes, keep walking x

Annie I hope the surgery get their act together and give you some help now. I think we have all been aware for a while how difficult life is for you. I cannot understand why a proper physio hasn’t seen you before.
Oh what a lovely gift to receive on your daughters birthday. It will mean so much to you to be able to sit and look at such a cherished view and remember happier times.
I see your older dog has a wise head and comes in out of the cold. ?.
I will keep walking. It is really good advice. My knees are weak so I should do more.
Have a good day all x

Hi all x

How is everyone ?

Doodle it isn’t raining in Mid Wales, mist and very damp, my dogs go out regardless of weather, the older one comes in
quickly if it’s raining, the younger one stays out regardless.

A morning of mixed emotions, the physiotherapist has contacted the surgery . I have Rheumatoid Arthritis,
Clinical Malnutrition, Muscle Atrophy.

To all - keep going for walks please x

My younger daughter’s birthday today, she sent me a gift !

A large canvas photograph of my beloved New Quay ,Wales,
to remember all the holidays we spent there.

Again to all - keep going for walks please x

Morning all.
Chrissy how are you doing? It’s bleak here today and misty. We will be going for a walk as we didn’t yesterday. This grey weather makes me melancholy. I love Christmas but don’t know what it will be like this year not spending time with the family.
Nonnie I like the online services too. Have watched the morning service from Canterbury Cathedral since the start of lockdown. I used to enjoy singing too. My voice seems to be more of a croak these days. ?
Annie how is Wales today? I hope it’s dry. Do your little dogs go out and run in the garden even if it’s wet. Ours used to take one look outside and if it was raining they’d turn round and run back in. ?

Sorry Annie, it wasn't a choice, it was a misunderstanding. I make mistakes like everyone and thought you were putting yourself down. I hope you know me better than that.

Scardycat I totally get that.

eilyann we too have experienced redundancy and one of our DS's too. I think the important things to remember is the value we can give to a new company, don't sell ourselves short. When it happened to DH he thought he would just get any job and didn't realise that no company would take him on at a lower level because they would think it was just a stop gap. Good luck to all in this situation.

Doodle we also did our usual Sunday service and in the afternoon I watched a Christingle service online, it was done in the car park. As I was on my own I sang along loudly. I love to sing but apparently it is not enjoyable to listen

Evening everyone
Doodle I’m glad that your son has managed to find some work even if it’s short term. Yes worrying times for young people with important exams coming up.
Annie I’m sure that your MT is concerned about her finals, hopefully all will go well.
Nonnie I’m glad that you enjoyed your trip out last night, what a shame it rained. I hope that you enjoyed your dinner tonight.
Hope everyone sleeps well x

eilyann I often think of your SIL. The one you were particularly worried about at the beginning of lockdown. Hope he is ok. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Hope you and your family doing ok.
Scaredycat hope you have had a good day. I’ve been lazy and not done much. Watched 2 church services this am and got choral evensong for later.
Nonnie hope you had a lovely Sunday lunch. Did you have all the trimmings? ?
Annie and all, sleep well ? x

Annie No one who 'knows' you from this site would ever think you were judgemental.
Doodle you are fast catching up with Annie as our 'soother' I will be praying for your son. All 3 of my sons in law have been there in the last months, two of them now ok {for moment} one still hanging in. Such a worrying time for all. Goodnight and God blessx

Thank you Doodle x

To anyone else who thought my remark ‘put up and shut up’
was related to anything apart from myself and my housing problem I am so very sorry . I have always encouraged speaking out about mental health problems.

Hi all.

Nonnie- so pleased you enjoyed your evening despite the downpour. It must have been lovely sharing the occasion with your family and to see other people enjoying themselves.
I too often feel guilty for feeling down when so many people have such problems - it’s the “what ifs” that often get the better of me plus the dreaded HA.
Yes the sponge was actually good thank you- you could have knocked me down with a feather!!!!
Enjoy your Sunday dinner.

Doodle- what a worry for your son to have been made redundant. I do hope things improve for him soon.

Nanny - so sorry you are feeling low, it’s really hard to cope when your head is in overdrive isn,t it. Hope you feel better soon.

Annie- Doodle is right your MT has so many good qualities that make her a special person. I am sure whatever she does she will succeed.
I,m having one of those days when you feel really down and tired - missing my family and my old life . I,m only one of millions though so will just count my blessings and tomorrow is another day. So glad to be part of BDGxx

Bluesky,Chrissy,Lavender,Joce,Rafichagran and everyone I hope you have a nice evening.

Annie no rain. That’s amazing ?
I hope your MT is ok. She sounds a wonderful person and shouldn’t compare herself to her brother or sister. She is full of compassion and caring which counts for so much. This COVID will have a huge impact on her university years and she should take that into account when thinking of her exams.
Nonnie glad you had such a good time last night. I bet it was fun despite the rain and so lovely to see the DGC.
We cannot control those feeling down moments. We all have reason to be grateful and happy but if something is troubling us the good stuff is only one side of the balance.
Nonnie, Annie would never use the phrase put up and shut up with reference to any form of depression or anxiety. She was talking about having applied many times to move to a different house. That comment was in relation to accepting where she is living now and putting some plants in tubs on the patio. Also I think you will find that Annie made the precise point you did when you said it did others good to read that we on this thread had problems too. In her post yesterday morning Annie was making the same point.
No one should be afraid to post of their worries or troubles here and no one will ever be told to “pull their socks up” or words to that effect.
Thank you for your kind thoughts about my son, he is in the same position as many. It’s a bad time for so many who are struggling.
Your Sunday lunch dinner sounds nice. Hope you enjoy it.
chrissy, rafichagran, scaredycat, Bluesky nanny hope you all are ok.
Keep safe all. x

nonnie with respect , when I said ‘put up and shut up’ I was
speaking of my housing problem not depression, anxiety, OCD, Phobias etc, you chose to take it out of context.

Rachifgran good to see you, come back again when you have time, a commodity I seem to have too much of! Trial and error, you won't do that again. Never too old to learn.

You are right, they have to show us the worst that can happen but it rarely does. I can understand how it would worry those with HA.

All errors ignored here, we are all fallible and no one judges.

Annie some positive thinking there although not so sure about the 'put up and shut up'. You encourage all to say whatever they want. I think when the watchers see us post our problems it probably encourages them to post whatever is bothering them. If they think we are all positive all the time it could put them off.

Bluesky if gallstones are like kidney stones they just ignore them unless you are in severe pain. Both are in the list of the 3 worst pains ever, don't know what the third is. My gall bladder was removed about 40 years ago (still have them in a jar!) but my kidney stones are still present and cause no pain.

Joce no need to 'talk' unless you feel like it, we know you and think of you, the baby and the rest of the family. So glad they are doing OK, very reassuring.

Doodle we drove to DS & DiL, had mulled wine on the doorstep and then the heavens opened! They gave us brollies and we still did the walk, passing others and wishing them happy Christmas, was lovely to see all the children.

Yes, so many are worse off than us which is why I feel so guilty when I am down. I have so much to be grateful for so shouldn't let it get to me.

I hope your son gets a new job soon.

Perhaps your prayers brought you to the BDG? He works in mysterious ways.

Chrissy it is frightening when we are worried but no idea why, the unreasonable feeling of impending doom.

I'd like to hear something about how they/if they intend to make up for the missed education, do they go through life never catching up? Will they cope at university etc?

Scardycat well done with the cake, sponges can easily go wrong so if it looks good it probably is. Was it?

nanny so glad you came on here to tell us. If you want to say more you are welcome but if you don't, just remember that we are all here for you.

DH plans a proper Sunday lunch for dinner tonight, quite ac occasion for us! Nothing else in the pipeline until Tuesday when I am meeting a friend in the park.