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The total horror of the number of young people commiting suicide.

(53 Posts)
hazel93 Fri 08-Oct-21 10:46:56

In the last month 2 of my friends have known a young person who ended their life.
Where are we going wrong ? Is it the media , is it lack of empathy, I have no idea . All I do know is this should not be happening to our future generations.

Skydancer Fri 08-Oct-21 23:00:42

I agree that young people are exposed to things they can’t always understand largely because of the internet. Some of what they can see and hear is disgusting. I have a 15-year old GS and am shocked by some lyrics on his music. I am also disgusted at language on TV which is considered acceptable. Many of today’s so-called comedians are just vile.

grannyactivist Fri 08-Oct-21 23:13:56

This year alone I have had to deal with so many attempted suicides that the one day training in suicide prevention I did early this year was simply not enough so I took an additional three week course.

Among the more obvious issues there was a huge emphasis on the language of suicide. (The Samaritans give guidelines on how best to phrase reports of someone’s death by suicide - see photo.) The roots of the phrase to ‘commit suicide’ are based on it having been an illegal act. Crimes such as burglary or murder are ‘committed’, however nobody dies by ‘committing’ cancer. The phrase ‘died by suicide’ carries no stigma.

People who have been directly affected by suicide will use whatever term they feel is appropriate, but there is an onus on professionals to use and promote de-stigmatising language.

For most of those people who have experienced the death of a loved one in this way I fear the language used to describe it is a minor issue compared to the devastation that ensues.

Kate1949 Fri 08-Oct-21 23:21:03

Actually ga you are right. When my brother died we couldn't have cared less what terminology people used. We were going through hell. Guidelines? Oh please.

CafeAuLait Fri 08-Oct-21 23:27:04

It's more than semantics. Someone close to me died by suicide. They didn't commit suicide. Suicide is not a crime or a sin. That's outdated language. Media guidelines now tend to use died by suicide. Good on them for working to remove the stigma, which the term committed promotes.

CafeAuLait Fri 08-Oct-21 23:28:28


Actually ga you are right. When my brother died we couldn't have cared less what terminology people used. We were going through hell. Guidelines? Oh please.

I didn't care either until I learned why the terminology was used. I can see the point and now try to do my bit to reduce the stigma.

Urmstongran Sat 09-Oct-21 09:26:59

Thank you.

And well said grannyactivist. Validates what I said up thread.

Anniebach Sat 09-Oct-21 09:44:46

Dear God, a disagreement about terminology

Grannybags Sat 09-Oct-21 09:55:21

I agree Annie

My brother committed suicide, took his own life, killed himself. However you say it he's still dead

Anniebach Sat 09-Oct-21 10:02:30

I didn’t know there was a stigma to committed suicide and am
distressed to read it is classed as such

Kate1949 Sat 09-Oct-21 10:04:48

Exactly Grannybags I couldn't care less what people call it. As you rightly say, he's still dead. People who haven't been through it can't possibly understand, no matter how well intentioned they are. Terminology was the least of our problems.

Kate1949 Sat 09-Oct-21 10:08:01

Annie. I have followed your awful story. Please don't be distressed. There is no stigma nowadays. Maybe there was when my brother died back in the 1970s but people are more understanding now. flowers

Franbern Sat 09-Oct-21 10:15:49

Suicide especially by young people is so dreadfully sad and tragic. I have heard people call it 'selfish' and can never let that pass. For someone who gets to the point of thinking of taking their own lives (not due to terminal illness, etc), it is because they really think it is the very best solution not just for themselves, but also for all their family,

Yes, I do like talking about it as a permanent solution to a temporary problem - but that is not how the person themselves feels at the time.

Somehow, there is still some sort of strange stigma attached to sucicide. No idea why - but it is there. The real stigma should be with the society that does not find the time and resources to give help in advance of this action.

Mental Health services are cut back to the bone. More than ever referrals being made to services which have long since been stretched to past their limits. Large amount of money need to be poured into this (and do not tell me we cannot afford it - whilst spending money on new royal yaghts, and HSE, nuclear weapons, etc. etc.). More mental health professionals need to encouraged to train (Doctors, OT's, Social Workers, Nurses, etc. etc). Referrals should be able to be seen speedily - not having to wait several months as they often do now. GP's need more training as how to spot such problems, often disguised under appeals to them for help for physical problems.
How in earth can we call ourselves a 'civilised society' when so many of our younger people feel that the only way out is to take their own lives?

Baggs Sat 09-Oct-21 10:17:49

A friend of a friend of mine "took his own life". I think that's a kinder expression and non-judgmental.

Been looking at statistics on ONS site. It looks as if males taking their own life is almost three times as high as females. Understanding why this is so might help in the long term.

That people get to such a point that they'll take their own lives is an indication of how desperately ill they are. It's not for the healthy to judge them.

Anniebach Sat 09-Oct-21 10:23:57

Thank you Kate. I have never thought it a stigma

henetha Sat 09-Oct-21 10:33:06

Nor me. It's not a stigma. It's a desperately sad thing and I worry about the numbers of young people who cannot find a way out of their problems. We really do need to keep an eye on our young people.
I'm worried about one of my grandchildren who has been through a hard time recently and is depressed.

Hetty58 Sat 09-Oct-21 10:39:50

hazel93, 'future generations' struck me as very optimistic. As it seems that we're living on a dying planet, how do you think young people view the world?

Kate1949 Sat 09-Oct-21 10:40:34

I don't believe it's a stigma. Some people take their own lives due to being unable to see a way out of money worries, bereavement etc which in time may have been resolved or they may begin to feel better. Others, like my brother, was struggling, through life events, with depression, which terrified him. I couldn't understand it at the time. Now, having experienced it myself, I totally understand how scared he was and how much being alive frightened him and how no one understood.

hazel93 Sat 09-Oct-21 10:54:41

My apologies if using the word "committed" offended anyone, was certainly not my intention.
I was simply so damned angry at the time of posting probably not really thinking !
The people who died, is that OK (?) were both minors in the eyes of the law, one aged 15 the other 16. The fallout has been monumental of course and I have no idea how their families will ever come to terms with such loss.
As we all know teenagers are a total pain in the behind but surely something needs to be done to stop these shocking statistics.

Kate1949 Sat 09-Oct-21 11:03:09

No need to apologise haze. Any word used for it doesn't offend me.

CafeAuLait Sat 09-Oct-21 11:05:01

hazel, not a problem. You don't know until you learn it somehow. For me, an immediate family member died and I subsequently did some professional work in the area, so became very aware of the historic origins of the terminology and have never used it since. Language is always evolving and there are many terms that people wouldn't dream of using now that were once part of the normal lexicon.

Even though there is more understanding these days, there is still a lot of stigma. It's one reason I hide out at home a lot.

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 09-Oct-21 11:31:05

Something very trivial to add I’m sure, but I learned that people considering ending their lives sometimes start giving away their possessions. Just something that someone might notice and pick up on before it’s too late.

CafeAuLait Sat 09-Oct-21 11:36:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elizabeth27 Sat 09-Oct-21 12:17:03

I wonder if suicide of younger people is part due to social media, they now compare themselves with the whole world, the way they look what they do and what they have will never be enough compared to everyone else.

People seem to ignore the hundreds of positive comments they get and concentrate on the few vile ones. It must be so difficult to feel that so many people are judging you.

Those that have been affected by suicide do not give a toss about the correct terminology they just know that it is painful to deal with. I can imagine some of the pedants tutting over the grammar in a suicide note.

Kate1949 Sat 09-Oct-21 12:37:37

Also, don't fall into the trap of the saying 'Those who threaten to do it never do.' Yes they do.

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 09-Oct-21 12:40:01

Good point Kate, as sadly you know only too well.