Sorry all. A quick visit from me today. I am feeling a bit queasy and avoiding reading and writing. I’m not sure if it’s a result of overdoing things yesterday or something like vertigo. It’s not stomach sick it’s like you feel when you try and read in a moving car.
Hope all of you are ok and coping. Will be back to read everything later or tomorrow. Take care x
Gransnet forums
Health
Black Dog 11
(1001 Posts)This thread is for support, understanding and sharing of all
mental health troubles.
Anniebach Always something to pay out for with a car - will your MT be able to get it fixed?
Doodle Your advice to us on here is always so helpful. You seem to know just what to say.
Nonnie I've got some sewing to do as well - I have to get someone else to thread a needle though 
EllieAnne Would it help to talk to someone?
SweetpeaSue Have you tried cutting out certain foods to see if it makes a difference?
I went to Aqua Aerobics this morning, then to the cafe for an omelette, coffee, and chat with my friend. Husband came home at 9.30 (3 hours after he left for work) saying he "felt cold" and had Diarrhoea. He went to bed (as he does if he's got a cold or anything) and has only just got up (he hasn't been to the loo at all since he's been home so I made him a drink). It's a good job I don't - and never have - take to my bed when I don't feel well, nothing would get done. I'm off to an exercise class this afternoon, only because it's too boring being stuck here all day. Sorry, I'm moaning (but I'm fed up). Hope everyone has a decent day x
Thanks everyone for your kind comments.
I don’t know if my husband has depression. Our daughter had suffered with mental illness for over 20 years. I don’t she would still be here if it wasn’t for medication. At her worst when she came close to being sectioned I was told she was a high suicide risk. When I told him this he didn’t respond in any way and we have never discussed it. She self harmed badly at that time but I don’t think she does now. As we are hundreds of miles apart I just have to hope for the best and see her when I can.
So I don’t think he has much sympathy for people with mental illness so would never admit it if he was depressed.
I would be better on my own but he seems oblivious to my unhappiness and on
The few occasions I’ve tried to speak about it he’s blanked me or got angry. A few people have said that they think he’s on the autistic spectrum but I don’t know.
Annie oh those down days!
Pinged means I had my app on and was within 2 metres of someone, who also had their app on, for 15 mins or more and they now have Covid. It can only have been at the local theatre where we went to see a show we had no interest in because they had sold so few tickets and we wanted to support the young people putting on the show. I have decided not to go out in case I am incubating it, don't want to give it to anyone else.
Doodle nothing to do with son, he lives in another country!
SweetpeaSue your walks sound lovely. Do you think you could have diverticular disease? If you have it can often be managed by changing diet.
Yes, walking to keep joints going, only thing to do, use it or lose it. Has he had physio? Talking to them might be an option too.
Doodle's advice is goo, sepsis can be fatal, don't wait and see.
You half empty people are like DH, I'm the opposite but it has been hard recently. Coping so far today despite cancelling two social things today because I don't want to risk passing on Covid if I did catch it. Staying in and turning up 3 pairs of DH's trousers that must have been in his wardrobe for years.
Hi all x
Sweetpeasue so much for you to cope with, do share here, we
care. Definitely take Doodle’s advice , telephone 999 not 111 x
Ellie Anne have you discussed your unhappiness with your
husband? Has love died ? x
Tap in front of bungalow and new sofa sorted, neither,
Mini Tornado’s car gear box gone
How is everyone?
Hardly slept last night. Problems at home getting me down. Thoughts and prayers for all those struggling.
And Annie definitely get tap round the side.
Yes Doodle. I also rang the ward he was in for the op. The nurse told me that night that an ambulance wouldn't be sent out unless he had chest pains. GP told us she was completely wrong. His blood inflammation level the next day was 350 and GP said it should have been around 10. Thankyou Doodle.
Sweetpeasue I don’t want to worry you but if your DH ever gets like that again with fever and chattering teeth I would seriously consider phoning 999 especially if he is very sleepy or not communicating.
My husband had exactly the same a couple of years ago and became very sleepy and unresponsive. His whole body was shaking. The ambulance men said it was called rigours and said it was sepsis which was the body’s response to an infection of some kind. He was rushed into hospital for emergency intravenous antibiotics. Within a few hours he was much better but it could have been so serious if untreated.
Hope you have a good rest tonight.
It's really kind of you to come back to me Doodle, thankyou.
I'm pleased you mentioned the surgeons secretary because we have wondered whether to call her too. Actually about 4 weeks after op he had terrible fever with teeth chattering even though he was so hot. He was lucky in that it broke during night. I'd rang 111 and was told to hold the line, was on nearly an hr before I hung up. He had blood test next day and inflammation so high that GP told us we must ring ambulance straight away if happened again. It was a mystery but we wondered if it could have been infection. Consultant knows this as we saw him a couple of weeks ago when he gave him steroid injection.
Gosh, I've gone on again.
Can't say too much about son but thankyou Doodle. Just don't want to see him with broken heart again.
Oh, yes pain seems to often start after I've had food.Happened again tonight but bowel not tummy so know its not ulcer.
Thankyou for caring. Hope you have peaceful night.
sweetpeasue if your husbands appointment isn’t until May could you either try phoning the GP and telling them your husband is still in pain or phone the surgeons secretary and ask her to discuss with the consultant your DH could do for relief.
I’m sorry you had another bout of pain and sickness. I hope the tests give answers to your concerns. Does this sickness and pain happen often, is it linked in any way with what you eat?
I’ve said before you are not moaning. Being in pain mentally or physically and reaching out to others isn’t moaning. Maybe on other threads they don’t want to know but on this one you can say how you feel and we are here to listen and help if we can.
I’m so sorry to hear about your son’s fiancé. That must have been dreadful for him and her family to cope with.
I hope your DH feels better soon and you both have a restful night. Take care x
Husband lying down now. Don't know what to do for best. Like Nonnie's poor husband with bad knee--trying to keep walking as if don't it's bad too. X
DoodleI too have a tendency to dwell on sadness of things. Glad I'm not the only one. Hope you feel stronger soon. Its difficult to stay mentally strong when so much of the world seems chaotic at present.
HVDY I find Sundays a strange day too. Very quiet here with my sons all doing their own thing.
Nonnie Hope you are managing to keep head above water. Sometimes all we can do is that.
Anniebach I hope MT gets some luck soon. What a very interesting subject. I did a psychology course as VERY mature student and another on course went on to do criminal psychology. MT must be very clever, I'm sure she will be noticed soon.
I'm so sorry you've felt low. Everyone is different about photos of loved ones that have passed away. My sisters both have them up on show of our mum but I just can't. It's a dreadful thing for you to bear, I wish there was something I could say but there isn't. When my son's fiance commit suicide there was nothing I could do or say, he was in so much pain. 11 yrs ago now. Everything changes. People are changed forever.
Hope your grandson had a nice birthday. Could the tap go at side of bungalow or would that be too inconvenient? If I had sweetpeas out I'd give you some. In fact you could ALL have some! ?
Talking of walking Annie, I really didn't want to go yesterday, was bitterly cold, and I could hear your words - - do it--so went. Stepped it out along the shore with waves crashing in. Felt much better for it, though looks like husband's hip worse. Can I moan now?
He had steroid injection couple of weeks ago but still groin pain so will tell consultant but appt not till May. This time hip op has not been the success it should have been. I got bad
pain an hr after eating yesterday and the runs with sickness. Lasted about 45 mins then left. No idea what's going on. Will have to wait for results of test. Moan over.
Had ANOTHER walk along beach today and sunny. Beautiful.
Feel lonely for family. One son 2 and half hrs drive away other in our own village but I always give him space when he's just back from being off-shore.
Daren't turn on news.
It helps to share and know I'm not only one on here feeling low.
Thankyou.
Nonnie I’m sure some fresh air will do your son some good. Glad to hear the rest of the family improving.
Oh no ? Do you think that’s in connection with your son?
Hi Annie . Yes I think a bit mentally exhausted due to overthinking but also physically my muscles ache. DH has the same we think it’s because we haven’t been walking enough recently.
I’m sorry you feel so down, I can understand why but try and capture the happiness of that moment when you held your grandson and his mum was happy. I tend to dwell on the sadness of things rather than the joy. I think it’s the way I’m made. I have always been a half empty person instead of a half full one. Wish I could change.
Hope your grandson enjoyed his birthday.
HVDY hope your son has a good birthday too. Be nice to have a meal out with them. I find mid week better than weekends. Less busy.
Hope the girls have a good time with their dad.
We’re just off out for a walk. Trying to keep it going Annie. You were obviously right otherwise we wouldn’t have so many muscle aches.
Take care all. x
Anniebach Understandably, your MT wants work that she's worked hard to qualify for. I wasn't suggesting she did care work as I did. Criminal Psychology is a very specialised field, so it might take a while for her to find something suitable. Photographs and memories of loved ones who are no longer here are hard to bear, aren't they. 
SweetpeaSue Glad that you were able to see your sister, that must have cheered you up.
Nonnie Is that to tell you that you've been in contact with someone with Covid?
Doodle I know the feeling of being exhausted without doing much. Try to have a rest, if you can, and be kind to yourself.
It's an uninteresting day today - I'm doing washing and vacuuming, husband is in his shed. Son1 out with the girls, and son2 is away for the weekend with his girlfriend - it's his birthday today but we gave him his presents on Thursday when he came for dinner, and we're all going out for dinner on Tuesday. Sundays are sometimes a bit boring. Hope everyone has a decent day x
Hi all x
Nonnie what is ‘Covid pinged’, does it mean you have a positive result ? x
Doodle mental exhaustion? I get it and feel drained both physically and mentally without getting off the sofa x
Sweetpeasue how lovely to be able to see your sister, good for
you going to meet her x
HVDY my Mini Tornado worked so hard for her degree in
criminal psychology it’s understandable that she wants to work
in this field.
Rather risky putting the tap at the front of the bungalow, someone is sure to want the same, ask the council, the council says no, they say ‘number xx has one’, !
Had a really down day yesterday, grandson’s 30th birthday, I have a lovely photograph of me holding him and my darling daughter with her arms around me, it was the day he was born,
How is everyone?
Just been Covid pinged
Hi all.
HVDY some 'me time' does us all good.
Doodle Exhaustion may not be physical. Glad you had a good time.
DS, going out for a short walk today as allowed but keeping distant from others and not going anywhere public. Rest of his family seem to be OK.
Sweetpeasue so glad you got to meet up with your sister and the pain didn’t hold you back. It’s good you don’t live to far from each other and have a lovely scenic journey when you do meet up.
It doesn’t matter how weak your faith is, if it’s there at all then it’s stronger than you think.
Nonnie how are your family are they feeling any better?
HvDY hope you had a nice quiet break while the match was on. I expect they’ll all come back cold and hungry and full of tales of how it went.
Annie it seems we’re all thinking you should have a hidden tap for your plants. I can’t see what harm it can do or why the council refused in the first place,
Have you been ok today.
I’ve been exhausted for some reason. As you know I’ve been a bit on edge recently but we had a lovely time out with our son and family last night and they all seemed happy so I’ve relaxed a bit. I seem to have aches and pains today due to tension I think. Have a good weekend all x
Hope everyone is having a decent day. I took husband, son and GDs to the football match, dropped them off - 45 mins to get home (usually 25) so I'm enjoying some peace and quiet before picking them up at 5pm.
Anniebach Are you ok? I know what you mean about employers wanting people with experience yet a person cannot get experience unless someone gives them a job. I found that, years ago. I had done a year's course and got the qualifications to do I.T., but couldn't then get a job (no experience) and ended up working in the care sector - which I loved - for 20-odd years. I hope someone will give your MT a break. As for you having a tap - could you get it but somehow hide it? x
Hi all x
How is everyone?
Things sound more positive for most of you, so pleased.
I don't understand why anyone would interview someone with no experience for a job that required experience. What a waste of time. Recruiters need better training.
We all worry about our adult children and want the best for them, hope it works for your son.
A walk by the sea sounds wonderful.
Sorry! My error. ?
get out for a walk at some point by the sea. Its been a few weeks now since we've been able but no rain for weekend. Just hope tummy doesn't play up.
Annie Another stumbling block. Im with Doodle(sorry, or was it Nonnie?)
I'd be tempted to put it in anyway and put a pot in front. Some years ago most of our neighbours decide to move their garden fence back about 5ft, claiming council grassed verge, to make their gardens larger. Council don't appear to have noticed, even though we left ours where it was.
Hope everyone has a good night. X
Was worried after some pain this morning I wouldn't be able to meet sister after last planned meetings had to be cancelled but hey it eased and had lovely meet-up. She lives an hrs drive away so we meet up over the NY Moors, exactly half way, at a country pub for lunch. Half of the enjoyment is the half hr journey. Moors start couple of miles from home so beautiful drive there. Today dark and rainy but the landscape is beautiful. Lovely to see her again.
HVDY Proper family outing tomorrow with girls, dad, and grandad. They will love it. Hope their team wins!
EllieAnne You're having a hard time and I'm at a loss as what to say to be of help. My faith is very weak and I've had years of almost total disbelief. I guess the word that stands out most in that sentence is 'almost'. Hope you feel stronger soon. Will a trip to the sea again help a little?
Nonnie So pleased your feeling a tiny bit on top of things. Thankyou for your words to us all. Hope your son makes a speedy recovery.
Doodle I very much hope that I can
HVDY good to hear your son seems to be getting on ok. I really hope it works out for him so that he can feel more stable in looking after his girls.
Sounds like they’re in for a treat tomorrow with their dad and grandad. I realise it’s hard work for you having them at weekends but I do think, in view of their life at home, it will be a safe haven for them at this time. You must be a well loved gran.
Sweetpeasue I hope you had a good night and feel better today. Rest and recuperation I think is prescribed for you.
Have you got anything nice to do at the weekend?
Annie yes thank you. The new meds from the GP are working well and DH is getting much more sleep which is making us both feel better.
Have you tried any more food yet?
MT has come across a regular problem. As you say how can you get experience if you don’t get given a chance. Sounds as though she made an impact though if they are offering her some useful advice.
I’m so angry at your council. When will they ever come and look at life from your point of view and stop putting such obstacles in your way.
Can’t you go ahead with the tap anyway and put a pot in front of it so that no one can see it. Or put it round the side a bit out of sight.
Nonnie sorry to hear how poorly your son has been. Hope he is improving soon. It’s nice to hear he has such good neighbours. Hope things improve for you.
Ellie Anne I was thinking of you a lot last night and in a way echo Annie’s thoughts that in some ways your loneliness is more hard to bear. Would you be better living on your own, or would that still be as bad?
Hope all have a good day x
HVDY you are on a roll!
Ellie Anne that is the reason you joined the BDG, just let it all out. Hope today is better. Things can improve in ways we hadn't anticipated. Keep working on your faith, it will come back.
Annie interviews give good experience so she is doing the right thing going to them even if not quite the job she wants. The right thing will come along.
Thanks for the support everyone. DS is feeling very poorly, the rest of the family are not so bad. However, he is so grateful for all the support he is getting from neighbours and friends. The grumpy old couple next door even sent round Easter eggs for the children. DS said if he was offered the best job in the world he wouldn't take it because he loves living where he is. Now I worry his MiL will have caught it from them.
Slightly getting to grips with other stuff.
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