Black Dog 11

HVDY hope you slept well after your long day.

Doodle you are so right about things going round when we go to bed. I have a very strict regime for over an hour before getting into bed and if anything disrupts it I can't sleep. When I'm in bed, the same, routine is supposed to help but, of course, it doesn't always work.

Managed to get through to the surgery this morning after several attempts to get in the phone queue, now waiting for GP to call me. Don't think it is serious, think it is the meds but need to talk.

Sweetpeasue how cheering to read that you had a better night and feel a bit better today. When you’re feeling poorly a lot of the time it’s not surprising you get low and anxious,
Long walk for me too but a late one so it was a bit chilly but the most beautiful sunset made up for it.
Nonnie your NY visit sounds lovely and peaceful. I’m sure the person you met was grateful for the chat.
I do hope whatever upset you doesn’t cause disturbed nights for you. Try not to think about it before bed. Nighttime is often a time when things start going round in our minds.
HVDY it’s difficult for your son working from home. Good he’s meeting up with some friends though. Hopefully that will help him through this difficult time.
Hope you had a good day.
Annie hope you’re not having internet problems again. Hope you are ok.
Sleep well all.

Hope everyone has had a decent day.

Anniebach Oh no, more rice cakes? I hope the doctor will hurry up and get to the root of your problem and get it sorted out soon.
Doodle My son has been working from home for almost 2 years, so hasn't seen any colleagues at all, in all that time. He made the mistake of getting too involved with that girl, and stopped seeing his friends so much. He sees 2 of them one evening a week now.
Scaredycat You've got Atrial Fibrillation? That must be a bind. Are you on tablets/having any treatment for it?
Nonnie I hope you managed to sleep better
Sweetpeasue How have you been today?

It's been a long day, somehow, although I went out and did my usual Wednesday thing, which was very nice. Got the house to myself for a couple of hours now .
Hope everyone has a good rest tonight x

Scardycat glad the walk helped. Not Wordling, not tried it.

Yep, it must be impossible for most people but I do try it again sometimes.

Ellie Anne please don't let one person ruin your group for you. I started a job (many years ago) replacing someone who apparently was not very nice and some seemed to think I would be the same. I decided to 'kill everyone with kindness' and it really worked. I think it can be hard but, oh, it does make you feel better than all that other stuff.

Thanks all for the thoughtful comments, I'm going to be dealing with this for some time.

It was such a beautiful day yesterday that we went to a NT place to see the snowdrops. They were all around the little church, in and out of the gravestones. Daffodils are on their way and some looked as if they might be out next week. Sheep in the fields so maybe some lambs soon too. Chatted to some people, one was a retired teacher with no children and I think may have been lonely. Did us good but didn't sleep well.

Just a short post tonight, rather than none at all. Hope to write more tomorrow.
All of the kind words of encouragement have meant so much to me, truly.
I've felt so much better today?Had a decent sleep last night. No significant tummy probs today too.
EllieAnne I sometimes force myself to have a walk and mostly feel better afterwards. Think Nonnie and Doodle have said the same.
Annie So glad you've got your Internet back. We'd all miss it but you must miss it much more being confined to your bungalow. Do hope you're not having to still keep to rice cakes much longer. Thinking of you and everyone else here.
Nonnie Hope you're OK after your bad experience. Thinking of you too.
Much love to all.

Sweetpeasue we can’t all believe or be the same. For some it’s a comfort for others not. Don’t fret about doubting. Many believe and still have doubts. I don’t think for one minute your lack of faith has anything to do with all you are going through at the moment. I don’t believe God brings down terrible suffering on us for any reason just that he’s there for us when things get tough to help us through.
I hope you get to see your GP soon and get some help with your worries.
Oh Nonnie you made me laugh. Fancy someone thinking you made a voodoo doll. ?.
It sounds interesting, what you are doing. I hope it all works out. Nice to have a new hobby.
Sorry to hear something has upset you. Hope you are ok.
Annie I’m so pleased you persevered with the GP and are getting the tests. I’m not surprised you are worn out after all that time. Hope your internet is ok now and you are connected to the outside world again. Take care x
Scaredycat that is good news about your stepson. I know several people who just don’t have the opportunity at work or in their lives to meet many people and therefore have to rely on the internet to get to know someone.
Sorry about your DGD. Hope she meets someone nice too,
Glad your AF went away with your walk and you enjoyed some sunshine.
Yes I am doing Wordle too. Picked it up from the link in the thread on GN. I do it after breakfast. I am doing Nurdle (not sure if that’s how you spell it) too. That’s the numbers version.
Ellie Anne another Wordler ? it’s good isn’t it?
It’s an awful shame that your visits to church are spoilt by this woman. I hope you don’t get to see her often.
Do hope that dark cloud lifts for you and some sunshine comes into your life.
Take care all x

Scaredy-cat I’m doing wordle. It’s good for my brain.
Sweetpeasue my faith is coming and going just now but am hanging on.
I’m not good today. I help at a church group on Tuesday and someone I really don’t like turned up. We had a disagreement years ago and she started telling lies about me which caused me a lot of stress.
I have to be polite to her but it’s stressful for me.
I made myself go for a short walk this afternoon but it’s very cold and windy here.
Annie I hope you feel better soon.
So many people with problems.
I feel I’m under a dark cloud today.

HVDY- maybe your son could try internet dating again. My stepson met his wife online and she is so nice . One of my Grandaughters is back dating after having her heartbroken and has met some nice chaps- not necessarily for romance but new friends. If only we could wave a magic wand eh!!
Love the sound of the Garlic Chicken - hope you enjoyed it.
Sweetpeasue- your poor mind is so full of emotion and frustration you are exhausted.I hope you get to see your GP next week and are able to explain properly how you feel including the Whatifferies. In the meantime be kind to yourself - take care.
Nonnie- Wooden Spoon dolls are sweet- they must be quite an old tradition. I imagine the children on the Wagon Trains used to have them,
Well I took up your challenge - I lasted about 1 second after I let go!!
How wonderful to see wild tigers - I will tell GGS when I see him next.
I,m sorry you don’t feel so good today - tomorrow will be better.
Annie- you must be sick of the sight of Rice Cakes even with Honey. It’s crazy how long your GP takes to call you. Hope you get the blood tests done soon so they can find out what’s going on.
Must have been the last straw when T,Internet went down. What do you like to watch on Britbox?
Hope you have a good nap.

Went out for a walk earlier despite AF kicking off just before we went.. Somehow the lovely sunshine worked its magic and it was gone before we got back?. I get so fed up with it that ,within reason, I just try to carry on with stuff.
Anyone doing Wordle ? It’s our afternoon treat.
Take care gangxxx

Hi all x

Exhausted, been trying to speak to a GP, finally did after three
hours and answering repeated questions!
After fourteen days am to have blood tests sometime this week,
so another week of rice cakes !

Internet went down yesterday so couldn’t email , search, couldn’t even watch BritBox !

Be back later after a ‘power nap !

How is everyone?

Doodle the staff in Hobbycraft were so helpful. I'm not a crafter so needed a lot of help. I'm making some cards for something unusual so can't go to a card shop and will attempt doing it. Last time I did that I made a wooden spoon doll and the recipient thought it was voodoo! I think they appreciated the effort when I told them to look up wooden spoon dolls.

Scardycat No, I haven't but will try. One I can't do is stand facing a corner and put index fingers on the wall, stand on one leg, close the eyes and then take fingers away. I challenge you!

Happy birthday to GGS, I love tigers too and was so fortunate to see them in the wild. I think long travels have probably ended for us.

HVDY a friend found her partner online, I believe it is best to go through the paid sites as, apparently, those people are more likely to be truthful.

Sweetpeasue I'm so glad you let that all out and look forward to hearing how you get on with your GP when you speak to them. Hang in there, give yourself time, things can improve. I speak from experience.

I doubted my faith, I've been there too but it gradually came back and it could for you too. I still doubt sometimes. Some say 'fake it till you make it', works for them. I will pray for you.

I think you are too harsh with yourself. You had a very bad experience which is bound to cause a long term reaction. Please try to understand yourself in the way you would understand others. Try to imagine how you would treat a loved one who felt as you do and then do that to yourself.

Had a bad experience last night so not very chipper today.

That's so nice of you to respond and care Doodle I try to believe. I'm sort of 50 /50 but know that's not how it should be. I was baptised nearly 40 yrs ago in pentecostal church. I feel a heathen now for doubting.
I wouldn't have dared to doubt until I had to read The Existence of God for a philosophy exam as a mature student. I wasn't struck down. Maybe this is my comeuppance. I don't mean that. I sway back and forth with faith. I do like that hymn though.
I'll be OK. It really lovely of you to care. Thankyou for those kind words.
Wishing you all a peaceful night. X

HVDyou does you son have any hobbies or places where he could meet people for a chat. It’s often difficult to talk to others about our feelings. Your dinner sounds nice. Hope you enjoy it.
Dear Sweetpeasue , You can talk to us anytime and about whatever you choose. No one is judging you here.
It’s awful when your stomach is all over the place and trying to look after your DGS too must be difficult.
It probably is better to see the GP you know rather than having to explain things all over again.
Please, please don’t apologise for letting it out on here and don’t worry about being helpful. Right now it’s you who needs support.
As far as faith goes, you are entitled to your own beliefs. I have faith and find it a comfort but not everyone feels the same.
We have an expression on this thread, we call it plodding on. It’s what we do. Yes everyone has their own burdens but that doesn’t mean we can’t listen to yours or that you have to keep everything locked up inside.
Sounds like your GP and your husband support you.
I have had a hysterectomy and believe me it’s not that bad. Mine made me feel a whole lot better. Plenty can be done for bowel problems too but hopefully everything will be fine.
Please take care and I hope your stomach settles down and let’s you sleep

My emotions are all over the place.
Barrie had to pick GS up as I didn't feel safe leaving bathroom. Been one of those days again. Managed some boardgames but relieved when GS picked up.
Its the not knowing what's wrong. I feel angry that I'm in this mess. I don't know what I've done to deserve this sort of situation.
I can't get to see GP so will have to wait till next week to see the one I know.
I really need to vent my frustration but don't know what to do.
I'm sorry for all this stuff. I'm not being caring now am I?
I might have misled in my last post.
I don't have a faith(don't strike me down!) I'd like to but think it was knocked out of me years ago. I say those verses when I'm afraid and try to believe. I guess lots of people when they're desperate do. I think I did have a prayer answered not long ago---but was it coincidence?
Best not to get into all that or this will be an epistle.

I really do hope everyone is keeping their heads above water. Perhaps that's the best we can do sometimes.
Everyone here has their own burdens.
I STILL don't get how these Dr's made and make me feel like I'm a hot potato and want rid of a problemme that they caused. I Had to make the formal complaints. My GP knows the truth and believes in me. Just not easy to see her. She encouraged me to make them she read them and agreed with how they were worded.
I'm alone in this thing.
Present consultant cagey in what he says. It's not just me. My husband thinks he's cold too.
What ifferys Annie.
What if its bowel endometriosis and its deep and I lose my bowel.
That still leaves me with possibility of Hysterectomy too.
Shouldn't have written all this.
Sorry Annie. Broke the rule.
I do think of you all and hope you're all OK. I really do. Just wanted to get this out.
Now to press send?

Doodle Nonnie Anniebach Thank you. He has been on antidepressants for some years, the same as me. Also, like me, he doesn't talk about his feelings to friends and family. He'll sort himself out, I'm sure. He's been through worse. He did try online dating at one time, went out with a few girls for one or 2 dates - he found that they were nothing like they'd described
Anniebach, I hope your stomach problems are soon sorted out.
Nonnie You've been busy!
Scaredycat Red hair is gorgeous. I hope your GGS had a lovely birthday.

Hope everyone has a pleasant evening. I'm cooking at the moment - garlic breaded chicken (from a recipe), butternut squash wedges, and whatever vegetables I can find to go with it

Annie no apologies needed. I found the quote very funny. We need some laughter in our lives.
Are the rice cakes helping your stomach? I hope the GP has better advice to offer.
Scaredycat I didn’t realise you had to travel to the seaside but an hour isn’t too bad. Perhaps not an everyday trip but quite doable for a trip out and well worth it I imagine,
I agree our coastline is lovely, I quite fancy a trip to the Gower coast but it’s quite a long way for us. Not to be done while this virus is still around.
Your little grandson sounds a right smasher. I hope he has a very happy birthday ?

Nonnie- loved hearing about what you have been up to and happy you feel such positivity. Hobby craft is a great shop so nice to know it’s still going. Hope you are pleased with your hair - I,m going on Wed. Love having a chat with him it’s like visiting an old friend.
Well done with the tights . Have you ever tried to clean your teeth standing on one leg? Not always the best idea?
Doodle- Sorry if I misled you but we don’t live by the sea. It took about an hour to get there yesterday but so,worth it. It was A beautiful day and not cold at all. One good thing about the pandemic and lack of holidays we have discovered some lovely places on our own coastline for days out.
Annie- I do hope it won’t be too long before your tummy is more settled so you can venture outside in your garden. The daffs are coming up well now. Soon Davids little relatives will be brightening up our lives again.
Today is my eldest GGS 7th birthday. He is a lively bundle of fun and has the brightest orange hair you,ve ever seen. He loves tigers because they have the same colour hair!!!
Love to allx

Hi all x

Apologies if the quote from Freud was isn’t in the best of tastes,
I found it amusing.

sweetpeasue no, not an epistle, a caring, sharing post. Yes,
Richard Burton had a wonderful voice, he could read a bus time table and it would be enthralling to listen to. x

scardeycat a bag of chips whilst walking near the sea, bliss x

HVDY not been able to get out to garden yet, waiting for
stomach problem to be sorted, your son has much stress , hope
he finds a job soon x

Nonnie hello busy little bee x

How is everyone?

HVDyou so sorry for your son and how upsetting for him. Plus the worry of being made redundant. Hope he finds a new job soon. Has he thought of internet dating to get to know someone. My niece was in an on off relationship for a while then she met someone through internet dating and they are now happily married. No I don’t think we ever stop worrying but there are times when things seem better than others.
Does your son have any help for his depression? Hope being with his children cheer him.
Good to have a nice walk.
Scaredycat I love the sea. How nice to be close enough to walk there and chips too. Lovely. ?
Hope your DGD isn’t too I’ll and recovers quickly. Many have said it’s like a cold.
Hello rafichagran nice to see you’re still keeping an eye one us. Hope you are ok too.
Sweetpeasue your book group sounds good and a nice reason to meet up. A bit of company does everyone good.
Faith can be comforting in times of worry. Yes pets are a great source of comfort. Have you thought of getting your own dog?
You too can enjoy beach walks. So nice. Have a lovely time with your grandson. Hope your son is ok in the rig.
Nonnie not boasting at all. How lovely to hear from you in such good spirits. I love a visit to Hobbycraft, so many different things to look at. Are you working on anything in particular at the moment.
I know what you mean about balancing to put clothes on. I have trouble bending to put my socks on and have to sit. My knees won’t hold my weight. Hope you’re pleased with your visit to the hairdresser.
Annie is your carer coming today? Hope you are not badly affected by the storms.
Have a good day all

Doodle oh the small print! Going to take one with me next time I have an eye test and tell them I want to read it. I am trying to read all the books I know I won't want to reread because my shelves are heaving. I keep thinking of the task my family will have when I am gone.

HVDY no, there won't ever be a time we stop worrying about our children. Told my DiL that when we both said the same thing about GC, being a mum last our whole lives. Hope he gets himself sorted, keep telling him how proud you are and how much you love him. Do any of us say that enough?

Scardycat hope GD will be well in a couple of days.

Sweetpeasue sounds like a lovely walk, wish I could pick up a GS from school. Enjoy.

Very positive today (hope I'm not boasting!). We have Sundays off from volunteering and I got all sorts of things done, sorting and cleaning etc. We don't start until later on Mondays so I am about to go to Hobbycraft and then hairdresser at lunch time. Decided to wear a skirt for a great change and managed to put tights on without sitting down or holding on to something. That may be normal for some of you but these days I have to think before trying to balance. DH is in awe.

rafichagran and Scardedycat. Thanks. He's a sensitive soul, very trusting. I had a bad feeling about this girl when I first met her, but he wouldn't have seen it if I'd said anything (I didn't, of course). He had his children all day today, kept busy in town with them, so that's been good for him.

Hope everyone has a restful night. Goodnight, all x

Hello everyone. Managed after ages to get logged into Gransnet account on husband's IPad only to find my username on my Gransnet on mobile phone was a lot of gobbledygook and couldn't change it. Grrrr!
So sorry if I miss people out. I feel I want to keep up with you all but hard to know who everyone is.
Doodle My book group has lasted a long time. Most much older than myself and some no longer with us. It's been only social thing I've done outside home. I think Ive hermit tendencies. Some of us would meet in a park shelter during lock downs. It just had enclosed roof and sides. Very cold. I have only just started going again after long absence.
You made me laugh at the spluttering into coffee at Annie's Post.
Nonnie I hope your poor husband gets op on knee soon. I knew exactly what you meant by pain with or without exercising as my husband is same but better to try and keep muscles from weakening so walking will help. Lovely you live nr river. Must see wildlife on your walks.
EllieAnne What a lovely cafe to be so friendly and welcoming. It must help to raise your spirits. I miss walking with my son's labrador. He was like our own as we always looked after him when he was offshore on rig. He was 13 when he died a month after my op. If I wake with nightmare or start worrying during night I imagine cuddling into him. Oh I do miss him. Either him or I say 2 verses from Dear Lord and Father. The drop thy still dews of quietness one.
Ali23 Hope you are coping with all the fallout from your sad loss. Its a terrible time for you.
HVDY Your son may be thankful one day that girlfriend has left if she keeps upsetting him so much. I know he won't think so now. It's awful to see them when their heart is breaking. Hope you are coping with your own trauma too. Take care of yourself.
Annie I had no idea that Freud had a sense of humour. How funny.
Delighted that there is an Audio book of Richard Burton reading poems. What a wonderful voice he has. I've heard him reading Under Milkwood. Anthony Hopkins has a fine voice but no one can top Burton I think.
I hope your tummy problems are settling and that your Dr's can help you.
Best wishes to rafichagran and Scaredycat too. Hope you're OK.
I had walk with husband on beach today in the lull after strong winds. It was beautiful and clear and quite warm. Expecting winds to pick up later. Poor son is on rig and feeling seasick with 20 metre waves. Picking up 6 Yr old grandson from school tomorrow. He has tea then his mum picks him up after work.
Annie is this what you call an epistle!
Sleep well everyone.

I am very sorry to hear about your son * HVDU* I think we always worry about our children.
Your son is miserable and cannot think straight, and has other things going on in his life.
I hope when he feels betters he realises he deserves better than someone who cowardly ends a relationship by text, at the moment it is too raw to think straight.
Best wishes to you both.

EllieAnne- sometimes fillings take a while to settle in - hope it’s ok now.
How sweet your little grandson will look in his kilt. A small wedding sounds perfect and you will feel comfortable and able to enjoy the day.
Doodle- your walks sound so sociable , an unexpected chat really lifts your spirits doesn’t it. Today was so nice walking it was cold but a beautiful bright day .
I too can only manage one book at a time and when I used to use the library would sometimes bring home a book only to discover after quite a few pages I had read it before!!!
You are right about getting old wasn’t it Bette Davis who said “getting old isn’t for Sissies!!!”
Sweetpeasue - I,ve done that too
Ali23 - it was a good idea to go out for lunch and get rid of your stress and tension. Glad you have a nice place to escape to.
Nonnie- like you I try to use it or lose it with exercise. But find it very frustrating not being able to do as much nowadays. However I feel very mindful of how lucky we are to do as much as we do. I,m sorry your DH has such trouble with his knees it must make him fed up sometimes.
Annie- Mr Freud made a really good point - trouble is there are so many of them about!!!
Ok today thank you and hope you are too. We had a day at the sea yesterday which was lovely and had a nice long walk, finishing with a bag of chips - heaven.
Should have seen my second eldest Grandaughter today she was coming down to see DD. Yesterday she tested positive for Covid so had to cancel. I hope she and her little family will be ok. She said it feels like a cold at the moment. Sometimes it seems like there is never a day without something to worry about.
Take care allxx

Hello, how is everyone today?

Anniebach - have you managed to get into your garden this weekend?

Nonnie Sweetpeasue Doodle Rafichagran and everyone else - I hope you're all doing well.

My eldest son is unhappy - his girlfriend finished with him, by text (again, she's done this twice in the past year) and so he's lonely, miserable - he has had depression for some years- and back to square 1, at the age of 40. He gets made redundant in a couple of months (large energy provider) so is looking for jobs too. I wonder if there'll ever be a time when I don't need to worry about him.

Been for a walk around a lovely park, with my husband. It was good to get some fresh air. Hope you're all having a pleasant weekend x

Sweetpeasue we all have the lost post troubles on occasions. It’s so frustrating having spent time typing to lose it all. If I do a long post, I do ‘select all’ and then ‘copy’ as I go along so I can always paste it back if it gets lost.
Hope you’re doing ok.
Ali23 disposing of personal effects after someone’s death is always fraught with the possibility of hurt feelings. It’s an emotional time. Take a deep breath and try not to upset yourself. Taking the dog for a walk is a good idea and lunch out too. Friendly staff can make you feel at home cant they.
Nonnie yes we live by the river and so meet lots of people who walk along the river bank as their daily exercise. We always smile and say hello to everyone but some we pass want to chat too. It’s nice.
I prefer real books too but got used to reading on my iPad during lockdown when we couldn’t go to the library. The one thing I do like about reading on the iPad (or Kindle) is the ability to increase the print size. I have had to give up in books in the past where the print was too small.
I am doing small amounts of exercise daily in the Hope my muscles will get used to it without telling me they are not happy.
Annie that made me splutter my coffee
We have Amazon Prime too. It is useful for us and must be even more so for you with not being able to go out,
Hope everyone has a peaceful and restful weekend.