Autism

A family member in mid 40 s recently had a diagnosis of autism. The diagnosis helped a little in explanation to their young children who sometimes get confused about parental reaction in some circumstances.
It was done privately as nhs list is so long, took a while and cost well over £1000 so not cheap,
The psychologist needed to speak to close family members preferably parents who knew their behaviour as a child.
It may not make much difference to you now but having read about it yourself that will help and there will be a lot of information online about managing situations. I am
Sure there is as Autism support organisation online.
We are all a little bit autistic please don’t worry about it.

silverlining48, it's 'allowed' now, thank Heavens, whereas back then, I was just the awkward, know-it-all child with temper tantrums and sulks.

Only in my forties/fifties, when I was teaching, was it suggested that I may be on the spectrum. I knew I was different, very good at some things, pretty hopeless at others.

I had great success with teaching three subjects, could easily explain things in several ways - yet was shy in social situations, noise intolerant and claustrophobic.

I have no face recognition whatsoever, so often don't know who I'm talking to - or whether I know them. I use pattern recognition instead, so I'm lost if you change your hairstyle or make up.

Still, I'm familiar with my difficulties now and practised with coping strategies - so I manage just fine. I've never wanted to change as I love being me.

Some people find the ability to understand themselves liberating. If it would help you, go for it.

I have one diagnosed autistic child, one who is positive they are autistic but happy without one and I am certain I am on the spectrum. I work in SEN too so that opinion has also come from educated colleagues.

I do have a few issues that I can't hide very well. I am not good at eye contact which means I tend to stare at people's mouths or ears which makes them uncomfortable (something in teeth or on face?) or I do too much eye contact.

I'm socially anxious but brilliant with children.

I don't need physical affection but fine with my own children/any children (educated well there and know how important it is).

I don't get sarcasm unless it's the right sarcasm tone, type goes over my head.

I don't get jokes easily but I do have a very dry sense of humour.

I sometimes fixate on something, like a topic that interests me or something I am doing and cannot stop.

You can join support groups etc undiagnosed, I don't know if being diagnosed really does much at our age, we are who we are

At our age (I'm 75) I don't think you need to do anything about it, it just makes things more understandable. I haven't been diagnosed but, once my grandson was, it became obvious that DH was on the spectrum and so was his mother. I realised that it would explain the problems I had as a child. Social events were always a nightmare, even now I have trouble sitting and eating a meal with others. Even in the 50s our GP had realised that I could only manage a few weeks of school without a break and was happy to confirm my regular mystery illnesses

Oh and rubbish awareness of personals pace, social anxiety, general anxiety and similar to Hetty I recognise faces but people look fine and attractive to me with or without makeup, hair done etc. The only time I notice haircuts etc is on my children and I generally won't like it and have to shh

There are test you can take online.

You would be surprised how many adults are in the spectrum and undiagnosed

There are tests you can take online

You would be surprised how undiagnosed it is in adults

The online tests are often biased towards a stereotypical male presentation of autism. We were advised that they are very limited in usefulness.

The autistic community is very accepting of self-diagnosis. It can cost a lot of get a formal diagnosis, so doing so depends on how important it is for you to do so.

I recognise myself in Hetty and Violet’s posts, two younger members of the family have been diagnosed, so I guess I’m there somewhere. Anyway I’m fine with it.

Some people find the ability to understand themselves liberating. If it would help you, go for it. Cafe-au-lait

I absolutely agree, In my 40s I was diagnosed as having dyspraxia, followed up by some physiotherapy, which did help, but mainly, it was just understanding why I am so cack-handed, have such dreadful writing, struggle using a mobile phone, physically, not the technology, and other problems.

The diagnosis, has given me so much peace of mind, knowing why I have problems doing some things and being comfortable with what I know I will never be able to do or be good at.

It has also been suggested for some decades that I have ADHD, and every online test I have ever done, and they are many, over the years, confirms that suggestion, and, at 78, I am thinking of going for a full assessment. I have no intention of taking medication, but, again, just to know, with certainty I have a problem that makes rational sense and explains so many of the problems I have had since childhood.

I too will be going privately and the price silverlining quoted - £1,000 plus, seems to be par for the course.

One of my friends was diagnosed in her late forties and I cant tell you what a difference it has made to her. Not particularly in terms of impact on her life but in terms of explaining her life if you see what I mean. She went private and the figures quoted above are similar to what she paid. I know someone else (adult) who is about to be assessed via NHS I think he has waited approx 2 years but obviously that has been in the middle of covid.

Me too. It's very likely that I am, I've been told, but at 84 I don't feel inclined to do anything about it. I've managed so far without help.
I have an autistic grandson too. He is quite wonderful and I am very close to him. We have so much in common.

I have long suspected that my 51 year old S is on the spectrum.
Now that his S 12 was diagnosed at about age 9 I find my S easier to understand, not really cope with, but to have a reason for his manner.
I now feel my H was just at the edge and each generation is further along.
My GS is highly unlikely to have C so hopefully it will end with him in that strand of the family.

"We are all a little bit autistic please don’t worry about it."
*Silverlining" - Apart from when the word is misused, this is so true.
From my days as an Ed.Pdych.