Hugs, - HELP

I'm not a big hugger and actually most people don't hug me that often. Sometimes I feel like a hug and then I usually get one. Even if there was no Covid, I've got great respect for those who seem to be able to intuitively tell whether it's a hug or a friendly smile thats going to be most welcome.

It's a bit of a 'Marmite' thing isn't it?

Personally I find the hugging and kissing from people I don't know very well somewhat invasive of my 'space' and usually end up just patting them on the back and disengaging as quickly as possible.

MayBeMaw is right - Covid is a good 'get out'. Your 'new family member should understand that and not be offended, particularly as she's a nurse.

I don't mind people being all 'huggy' with those who are like-minded, but do wish they wouldn't assume that we're all tactile. I reserve my hugs for close family members and a couple of life-long friends.

My close friend needed a big hug yesterday so I was happy to oblige ?

Same here CrazyH.
Good advice MayBeMaw.

Covid has given us the perfect get out.
Hang back, make an air-kissing gesture “ Mwah,mwah” or bump elbows.
Step back out of reach, you can do this!

I found the custom of hugging and kissing one another every time you meet and then again, hugging and kissing every time you leave, quite annoying and unnecessary ?

There are times when it is quite helpful to play the "silly old woman" game.

Just say to her "I know it's silly, but hugging people makes me so nervous just now. Can we just give each other a big smile instead?"

I don't think it is at all silly, and very sensible, by the way. But sometimes it is easier to pretend!

I have a cousin who hugs. I only hug people I know well. I don't know her that well and I know she does it to everyone. When I see her approach now I hold my hands out when I say hello and she automatically takes them. I give her hand a good squeeze while I hold her at arms length then turn away and steer her to a chair away from mine then sit down. I didn't engineer it, it just sort of happened when I had a cold and told her not to get too close. She still manages a hug sometimes before she leaves though.

I'm sorry you're nervous. I do so enjoy a hug. Maybe, as a nurse, she will be more understanding of your fears? Talk to her.

can you send her a note to explain your concerns?
explain it is not that you don't like her but prefer not to hug.

well before covid was ever invented, i had somebody hug me. i am the opposite of tactile and just froze - the person got the hint. no more hugs

Could you explain to her you don't want to hurt her feelings but you find hugging uncomfortable because of your arthritis?

Put a mask on next time she visits---in case she carries anything from her workplace because of latest headlines with the increase in cases. Just explain to her that " it's getting a bit scary ".