Private Care / Home Help - any experiences? (plus hand hold)

He was on one type for a week ( which I can’t remember the name of) and earlier this week was prescribed another type which he is supposed to take for a fortnight.
The first type worked ok, but didn’t clear it up entirely.
But these don’t seem to be doing the trick at all now.

A word of caution, agreeing with MissAdventure. The arrangement LtEve has described may work well informally for her family BUT there is no back-up.
You really do need to go through an agency if you need anything more than LtEve describes. You need, as MissAdventure says, staff who have been trained and insured, with a formal complaints system, and holiday / sickness cover.

My parents insisted on informal care, cash in hand, because they trusted the person who had been their cleaner for years. Although a kindly and honest person, she really didn't have much clue, and was always taking time off to support her own family (in which case, guess who got called!).

PS: hallucinations are a very common side-effect of UTI (mor than with other infections it seems). Depending on how long he has been taking the antibiotics, it may mean that they are haven't yet kicked in (24-48 hours) or they are not working.

Good luck

Thank you Bbkenneth xxx

Hello again
I’ve had to ring the GP as DH was hallucinating in the night. He’s on antibiotics for a UTI, but obviously something has gone wrong.
I’m having a really crappy time of it.

Pat thank you, he doesn’t get AA, but does get DLA. I’m pretty certain that I can get CA

Fanny. I really hope your husband is in receipt of AA. You can only receive Carers Allowance if the caree receives AA.

A hand hold from me Fanny whenever you need it. Sorry I Can’t be of more help. I did care for my parents but that was way back in the 90s so I expect things have moved on a lot since then. I’m sure you will get a lot of superb advice on here.

Big hugs xxx

I used to do evening and weekend homecare for social services. We had all the training and backup.
Prior to this I briefly worked for a local company and the training was non-existent.
Maybe not so relevant to you and your husband yet if it's more general help you need.

One consideration for using a private carer would be what cover, if any, would be available if they were on holiday or off sick.

Lots to consider especially with having someone coming into your home. Lots of experience and advice to tap into on here FannyCornforth xx

Thank you MissA that’s all very helpful; especially the CQC report.

It’s definitely more the second type of cate needed - general help.

I haven’t caught up with the thread property yet. I’ll come back later.
Thanks again everyone

My favourite subject.
Just thought of more..
Google home care agencies in your area, read customer reviews, then find their cqc report, which give them a thorough inspection before rating them.

Go back onto the nextdoor site and ask on there, perhaps, peoples experiences? .
There also may be people who offer care privately, but proceed with caution on that one.
I have a cousin, though, who has been a private carer/homehelp for years, and it's all legal and above board.

You need to think about the type of care that's needed.

If it involves lifting, showering, and things of that nature, then you would want the person to be insured and trained, with up to date certificates, as if there was an accident and someone was hurt, there could be repercussions.
.I have friends who do private work, but that is usually because they have known the customer for years, and there is total trust on both parts.
.I also have friends who do more 'home help' type care; changing beds, fetching in shopping, and perhaps helping the person to dress.

We have a neighbour whom we pay to be a carer to FIL. She used to pop into see him just as a friend (she used to walk her dogs with his late wife), during the first lockdown, which affected FIL badly< she lost her part-time job and we offered to pay her for popping in each day on a regular basis. She now does a varied amount of hours, he doesn't need personal care as yet but she makes sure he has food laid out as he forgets to eat, walks his very elderly dog, encourages him to take his tablets and generally does odd jobs that arise between his cleaner coming. We pay her £15 per hour and she is amazing. So much better than an agency carer who is restricted to set times etc.
She is very good friends with his cleaner and they both update us the minutes they have any concerns.

My friend Jean had mobility problems before she passed away three years ago. She had a carer visit a few times a week through social services to help her with showering for which she paid. The carer decided to go self employed and Jean wanted to stay with her as she liked her very much; Jean found that she paid half the amount she was paying social services so was able to have her more often. So I would certainly look into making private arrangements.

? to you this morning Fanny x

Fanny, you have had some really good advice already, but the one thing I would add is to ensure that your expectations of the help you want to receive is fully understood and agreed with the provider. It sounds pretty obvious, but the devil is in the detail. There are some excellent carers out there, but just make sure your requirements are fully understood from the outset. Sending all good wishes, hoping your situation can be resolved asap.

Holding hands and send lots of love Fanny Cornforth My ex sister in law is a carer she's a lovely person she works for a private company who seem to go above and beyond. I hope you find someone like her. Wishing you well. Xx

And, I'd echo what corner says. The Carers that I have talked to all say smaller and private carer companies are best.

fanny, keep us posted. Your experience will help others and, conversely there will be lots of advice on here.

If you are a Carer for your DH, he can apply for Attendance Allowance if he doesn't already receive it. But, get AgeUk or someone similar to fill in the forms. It is not means tested and is about £55 pw at the lower rate.

A hug and a hand hold from me fanny.

No direct experience to share. Several of our neighbours make use of private carers, this may be helpful (or not) but what I hear is huge praise for smaller agencies offering a more individual provision. Most neighbours don’t use the internet, the one who does said she had a look at the local Facebook page for recommendations/experiences and then sought support from AgeUK who do indeed have superb volunteers.

You’re very sensible to seek help. fanny, here’s hoping the right support is there for you very soon.

Just to clarify - it’s for me and my husband.
I am 50 and he is in his 70s.
I am his carer; I have been for years, but I only applied for Carers Allowance in January.
But I really need a carer myself due to my mobility problems and chronic pain.
We are both housebound, and I’m really struggling to do anything around the house now.
I will shortly (? ) be having a hip replacement which will come with its own challenges.

The most helpful person so far has been my husband’s OHT.
She visits us once every six weeks for over an hour; and she has put various things in place such as arranging a Social Worker for us.
She really is an absolute diamond.

I’m really trying to get myself and DH organised. I’m even going to have sessions with a counsellor cum therapist to help me to see the wood from the trees, because I sometimes get very overwhelmed with our situation.

Thank you again everyone.
You are all so kind.

I have applied for Carers Allowance which I am certain that I will get.
I am in receipt of PIP and waiting to get ESA (there always seems to be something wrong with my Fit Note)
I’ve been trying to get in touch with my social worker this week.
She phoned me to say that she wasn’t ’on duty’ so couldn’t talk to me. I do realise that they must be absolutely rushed off their feet.
It isn’t a job I envy.

Is it best then if I just do things privately?
I am very fortunate in that I can afford to pay.

Kitty thank you, I will almost certainly pm you at some point
I will follow your advice so far and look at Age UK.
(I hear that they do indeed have the most excellent volunteers!)

Looked on here as I think I might v soon be looking for DM. Surprised to see it's you Fanny.
Big hand hold ❤?

cookfood is quite expensive. may be very good but beyond the means of many.
i like parsley box, cheaper, and can be stored at ambient temp.

AgeUk are brilliant and know the buzz words for filling in application forms.

And, they have the very best volunteers.

A hand to hold and a huge ? Fanny.

I can offer you advice from a carers prospective.

Make sure the time you request is adhered to, of course at first there maybe 'teething trouble', hopefully there won't be, if the time starts to be bordering on the carers own time then you need to ring up and complain.

No one likes complaining BUT it is a very common scenario in which the office who issues the rotas have the carer like a ping ball, driving all distances from Mrs A to Mrs T to Mrs B to Mrs Z, so the carer ( to make it easier for them AND PETROL ) visits each person in order of distance and NOT the time the person wishes.

I have seen and heard this happen time and time again.

When i was a carer ( a job which I loved with a passion*) everyone we went to lived in close proximity and when we did *occasionally get someone who lived quite a distance and they were 'slotted ' in amongst our regular ladies and gentlemen, I rang the office and said "NO." I might be soft natured, but I'm not a pushover.

Its a big big thing Fanny for this to be entering your life, i understand xx but they are there to help you in things you find difficult, they are lovely, caring girls whose heart is there 100% to help and i hope you get someone who loves their job as much as i did.

If i can just add to my post that my neighbour was REALLY wary of having to have carers cone into her home to carry out personal tasks, NOW she praises them and says she wouldn't be without them.

?

kittylester

Just a few thoughts fanny.

Are you receiving all the benefits to which you are entitled? AA is one that immediately springs to mind if you fit the age criteria. That's Attendance Allowance not anything else you might think!

A benefits check isn't a bad idea anyway.

AgeUK have a whole list of down loads that might be worth looking at and you can ring and ask to speak to a benefits adviser. Our local one is astounding!! And AgeUK are for anyone over the age of 50.

Do you do things like getting meal deliveries? Wiltshire Farm Foods might be worth looking at.

Please feel free to pm if it helps.

If you may be able to claim Attendance Allowance do get benefits advice from Age Concern. They will also help you to complete the massive 53 page application form. They are very helpful and efficient.