Anxiety/health

My son has had a heart attack and I worry about him all the time. He was a very healthy person didn't drink smoke kept fit by running. I feel anxiety running through my body. I get very emotional and cry easily.

Hope you are ok, Pollyj. Did you get results from your tests? Hope all well.

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Lately I always forgot what I do in exam or anything to be done with. How can I sharpen my memory?

My friend has extreme health anxiety - and an unfortunate severe distrust of doctors, treatments and medicines.

She has constant tests and appointments for various 'symptoms' (real or imagined) and is not reassured by negative results - just switches to another assumed 'problem'.

When I suggested CBT she said 'Done that, didn't work!' (She wouldn't have been capable of engaging with it, so must have just skipped through it with a negative attitude.)

Any prescribed treatments/medicines are not used, or just tried for a day. The anxiety severely limits her life severly, the stress must be very damaging - and endless medical time/resources are wasted too. If she accepted and used medication things would be so different.

Ive suffered from anxiety and panic attacks on and off for my whole life and have been through the entire gamut of treatments to no avail. While I was younger I used to often disguise my panic and put a good face on it. Even when someone was winding me up.

Now in my 70s I no longer do. When I feel Im being dumped on I just let rip. I warn people that their behaviour is bringing on a panic attack when I may become hysterical or verbally abusive and if they continue they will have to face the consequences. I find that 90% of the time this causes people to back away and leave. because they dont want to become involved.

My strategy is to try to avoid people as much as possible. I use an old dumb mobile so I dont get scammers sending me links, a call blocker on my land line (only friends/family can come right through) and I dont answer the door unless expecting a package or a visitor.

To all you suffers; IT MAY NEVER HAPPEN, difficult as that may be to believe.
Not every door is going to trap your fingers! In reality, very few do!

Avoid stress if you can. It is BAD for you. I think that some cancers come from being stressed, too much adrenaline, perhaps?
Try to relax, and do breathing exercises. to lower your heart rate, and calm you.

Sorry Bluesky I'm sure you know that. But it's tempting to look for the worst.

Thanks Nada!

Bluesky you have to take on board "in rare cases" and look at what the symptoms usually mean.

I'm so sorry, Pollyj. It's natural to be worried under these circumstances, anyone would be. Lots of us can relate to that, I'm sure. Realistically, the chances of this lump being anything serious are very low, so do try to bear that in mind. I know it isn't easy.
The only thing that has helped me with similar worries is to meditate and do deep breathing. It really can calm you.
I do wish you a very happy outcome from this worry.

Nadateturbe on google I always seem to end up with, “In rare cases, it could be a sign of cancer” or similar... A kind nurse told me over 50 years ago, (yes I was worrying already) “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing”.

BlueSky

Yes dr google we go on it hoping to be reassured instead it gives us the worst possible scenario! We know we should avoid it but are irresistibly drawn to it!

It also gives you the best case scenario.
Google is helpful if you use it correctly.

Pollyj first can I say, I have had a few tests for lumps in the last maybe ten years, and all have been fine. most times they are, for everyone, so I have learned not to worry in advance.
However, I totally understand and relate to your anxiety.

A psychiatrist once paid me a home visit because of my anxiety (I think my doctor got fed up). I was only in my twenties. He told me that what I wanted was a zip on my body so that I could zip it up and down all day to check everything was ok. He was right, but there isn't one.

At 70 I have spent, wasted so much time worrying.
My mum was like this, and she has passed it to me.
Part of it is worrying about something happening to any of my family, a lot of it is worrying about pain and dying.

I practise meditation which helps me to stop thinking about the 'what ifs'. Which are usually out of proportion to reality.
And I try to come to terms with the fact that one day I will die, and there's no point in wasting my life worrying about something I can't change.

If someone had told me forty years ago that I would still be here when I was seventy, and happy (albeit with some health problems) my life would have been so much better. So much time wasted worrying.

As a Christian I am a bit ashamed to admit I feel like this, but my faith does help a lot.
However, that's not for everyone.
I do think that speaking to a counsellor would be worthwhile.

Yes dr google we go on it hoping to be reassured instead it gives us the worst possible scenario! We know we should avoid it but are irresistibly drawn to it!

Please ask your doctor about counselling recently my daughter has been mentally ill and talking has been the best help to her. Anxiety is a mental health issue and it’s best to talk through it with someone professionally trained.
Your anxiety about a lump found is perfectly normal anyone would be. But stressing about it isn’t helping you try to channel your thoughts the best you can elsewhere. Keep us informed how you get on and try to stay calm?

Polly I too was like you with health anxiety until I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Now I take life as it comes. I am still here four years later and have stopped worrying about things. After all it is time wasted and in the worst case scenario you just get on with it.
It sounds like you have nothing to worry about though as the GP has experience in these things.

I fully understand your anxiety, CBD is worth doing.
Get the lump sorted and tell GP you suffer from Anxiety it could be just hormones?
Hope you are feeling better soon

Pollyj I too suffer from extreme anxiety, particularly relating to health. I know it stems from a very unhappy childhood when I was surrounded by my parents’ health issues, none of which ended well. I tend to do the avoidance thing - don’t go anywhere near a doctor unless I absolutely have to. A few years ago I had a serious health scare and, like you, I thought ‘I’m never going to get through this’. But I did! I trained myself to live in the moment. Throughout the day, I would tell myself ‘I’m here now this minute; I’m fine now this minute’. If my thoughts went into ‘what if …’ I forced them back into the here and now. It made the whole situation bearable. I learned how to make the most of the moment and not focus on what might or might not come next. The past is gone; the future is unknown; all we have is the here and now. I’m not saying it’s easy and I still have anxiety but, at least, I have a strategy to deal with it when it rears it’s ugly head. I wish you well Oh, and please avoid Dr Google!!!

Skydancer

I had blood in my urine. Tested for bladder cancer. Nothing. Tested for ovarian cancer. Nothing. Turned out to be lack of oestrogen! Lump in my arm turned out to be a cyst. Lump in my breast turned out to be a cyst. Another lump in breast turned out to be a swelling because my underwear was too tight!
I’m just saying there can be so many different reasons for medical conditions.

Thank you, yes. For me there is never any other possibility than the worst. So infuriating. X

I had blood in my urine. Tested for bladder cancer. Nothing. Tested for ovarian cancer. Nothing. Turned out to be lack of oestrogen! Lump in my arm turned out to be a cyst. Lump in my breast turned out to be a cyst. Another lump in breast turned out to be a swelling because my underwear was too tight!
I’m just saying there can be so many different reasons for medical conditions.

Thank you all. Xx

Grandyma

I completely understand what you’re saying. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression since I was a little girl. Now I’m approaching 70 and it just doesn’t get any easier. I’ve had every form of therapy, treatment & counselling available over the years. It’s crippling!! My health anxiety is the worst but not my only form of anxiety. My mind is forever asking “what if”? I catastrophise every possible scenario. I’m going on a family holiday in the summer and in my head I shall be too unwell to go/be taken ill whilst away etc. etc. I have several very real health issues and several more imagined but terrifying ones. I’m sending you hugs ?

Thank you. Back at you. X

PollyJ- a couple of years ago, while undressing in the evening, I found the inside of my bra bloodstained. First I thought that I had scratched myself. So with the help of a mirror scrutinised my breast area and found nothing. Felt for lumps, but nothing. Couldn’t wait for the morning . Saw GP , who examined me and said there was definitely a lump….immediate referral to the Breast Clinic, seen within the 2 weeks, followed by operation, biopsy, waited for results…..agonising over the results, but then kept thinking, thank Heaven it’s me and not the children or grandchildren. And then again fear sets in. To cut a long story short, [the lump was benign]
Polly this shows, even a bleeding lump does not have to be anything sinister.
Be calm and distract yourself ….I visited my friends, they took me out for lunches etc. Good luck