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How do you know if it’s just old age, or something more serious? ( forgetting things )

(25 Posts)
Kandinsky Tue 04-Oct-22 19:09:41

I met an old friend this morning in the supermarket, haven’t seen her in a while so we had a little catch up - I was discussing my grandchildren & for the life of me I couldn’t remember one of my GC names. It took me literally 10 seconds to remember it.
I’ve had a few similar incidents recently.
Should I be worried?
( I’m 59 )

Urmstongran Tue 04-Oct-22 19:17:38

You and me both then kandinsky. I had a ‘senior moment’ last week at book club. Everyone was saying ‘you know Liz! You’ve had lunch with her a few times in another group’. I honestly went completely blank. For a good minute or so, despite exhortations from everyone. Embarrassing, but then I had my ‘lightbulb’ moment thank goodness. I’m 68y.
I just think sometimes we have too much stuff up in our mental filing cabinets. One time (which frightened me a bit, a couple of years back) I stepped into the shower and for the life of me I couldn’t remember how to switch it on ...

Curtaintwitcher Tue 04-Oct-22 19:29:21

I don't think you have any reason to worry. We can't be expected to remember everything. Our minds are like computers, storing data. It just takes time to access the information you need.
I often see an actor in an old film whose name escapes me. All I have to do is think about something else and the name soon pops into my head.

MayBee70 Tue 04-Oct-22 19:29:45

There’s a plant that I grow in my garden whose name I can’t remember. I’ve been trying to remember it for days but, guess what, while I was writing this it just appeared in my head ( it’s pieris). I think the time to worry is if eg you go to a supermarket and don’t know where you are. But not if you forget what you went to the supermarket for: I’ve been doing that for decades.

dahlia Tue 04-Oct-22 19:35:33

We all get those moments: you meet an acquaintance in the street and chat away, hoping that at any moment she will give you a clue as to who she is! I once politely continued a conversation in a supermarket with a person I couldn't remember; she suddenly grabbed me by the arm, crying "I'm so sorry, I thought you were someone else!", and hot-footed it out of the store! We are constantly bombarded with information 24/7, is it any wonder sometimes we just don't remember things! Try not to worry, unless of course there is a cause such as forgetting how to get home. Take care.

kittylester Tue 04-Oct-22 19:42:01

Forgetting names etc is a normal sign of aging. More worrying is the ability to reason or follow instructions not working so well.

Kandinsky Tue 04-Oct-22 20:04:23

Thanks everyone, good to know I’m not the only one.

ExDancer Sat 08-Oct-22 13:23:04

I was chatting in the hospital waiting room about forgetting things, and one of the nurses overheard.
I really liked her response, she said "don't worry if you're, say, forever forgetting where you put your glasses. Its when you forget you even have glasses - that its time to worry"

BlueBelle Sat 08-Oct-22 13:37:28

I had a 20 minute conversation with a lady and although I knew I knew her I could neither think where from or who she was it was only towards the end of the chat that she mentioned another name of someone I did recognise that I realised who she was
I m afraid my recall of both names and faces is dismal now I put some of it down to my eyesight but …………..
Please don’t worry or I ll need to
My friend whose older than me we have wonderful conversations ‘did you watch that play last night’ ‘umm which one the one with so and so in it’ ‘ no not that one this one was called ummmmm’ ‘ well who was in it ? ‘ ‘well that chap who used to be in ummm I think his name started with C’ ‘ohhh yesss I ll think of it when I m not thinking about it ‘ and so on and so on

They do say if you have the insight to be worried you needn’t worry as people with dementia or Alzheimer’s don’t realise they are forgetting things

Harris27 Sat 08-Oct-22 13:40:00

62 and often have trouble remembering names but I have 30 in my class and some attend different days?

JaneJudge Sat 08-Oct-22 13:43:50

I have always been like this grin

Hetty58 Sat 08-Oct-22 13:47:43

I've a long history of forgetting names - and not recognising people - along with that word 'on the tip of my tongue' eluding me. More recently, I forget whether I've just done something (or did I just think about doing it?) so I'll feed the cat twice or buy tea bags (again) when it's sugar that's running low. I've forgotten to have lunch - then wondered why I'm starving at 4 pm. My doctor says it's not memory problems, it's attention problems. I'm not paying attention to daily routine stuff - just pottering around. I don't ever forget meetings or appointments.

Witzend Sat 08-Oct-22 13:50:11

I once heard on the radio some medic saying that people often worry about looming dementia if they forget where they left their car in the car park.

He said the time to worry is when you get into the car and have forgotten how to drive it.

TBH, Kandinsky, the fact that you’re worried about it afterwards should be a good sign IMO.
One of the first definite signs in my mother was not just that she forgot what the person at her bank had said almost as soon as she put the phone down, but more significantly, that she forgot almost as quickly that she’d forgotten it - something her normal self would have been in a right old tizz about.,

Aveline Sat 08-Oct-22 14:09:21

There is that famous story about (I think,) John Geilgud or Malcolm Sargent. Anyway he met this familiar woman in a shop and fell into conversation. He couldn't remember who she was until he asked how her husband was. Her reply,
'He's doing fine. Still King!'.
The lady was Queen Mary.

kittylester Sat 08-Oct-22 14:14:35

It isn't true that people don't with certain types of dementia have no insight - it can be distressing and depressing for those who do.

Luckygirl3 Sat 08-Oct-22 14:17:08

74 here - and I am hopeless with names. And I am always calling some of my GC by the wrong name - but there are 7 of them and 2 have the same name! What is interesting is that I know their names but the wrong one pops out of my mouth - so frustrating.

Whitewavemark2 Sat 08-Oct-22 15:47:18

JaneJudge

I have always been like this grin

And me!

I think doing crosswords might help.

Kim19 Sat 08-Oct-22 16:01:33

I've read and heard many times that the memory has a finite capacity. I only wish mine would allow me to decide what to retain and what to discard!

GrannySeaside51 Sat 08-Oct-22 16:18:22

Quite often I’m having a conversation and forget words - such as talking about the garden and I’m searching for the name of a plant which I know I should know, its quite embarrassing. My daughters tell me its because I have too much going on in my head at anyone time, I need to slow down and its nothing to worry about! However it does frighten me, I live in fear of having Alzheimers, my grandma and my dad both were diagnosed in their late 80’s and I am only 71. I reckon as long as I can remember pin numbers, family birthdays and my way to the supermarket and home again I guess I’m ok and when I can’t it’ll be too late and I probably won’t know whats happening.

biglouis Tue 11-Oct-22 23:53:03

What the posters upthread are describing are recall problems or age-related forgetting. If you "forget" a word but can recall others with similat meanings:

for example you forget the word deportation but can recall banishment, exile or describe that it means sending someone away - then its not likely to be dementia.

Georgesgran Wed 12-Oct-22 02:09:52

I was in M&S in August buying some euro. As usual, I was asked for my post-code and trotted out Delta Hotel (I live in Durham and always use the phonetic alphabet) then my mind just froze and I couldn’t remember the rest! The cashier looked up at me and if I’d been offered a thousand pounds, I simply couldn’t remember it and after what seemed an eternity I had to say that I had forgotten.
She said it really didn’t matter, but as I walked away, of course, it suddenly came to me!

Leavingnormal Wed 12-Oct-22 03:40:54

I think a certain amount of forgetfulness is normal as we age. We’ve filled up our brains with so much knowledge and experience that it can sometimes take a while for us to remember stuff. I think of those old Rolodexes and think my brain is like that. Sometimes it won’t flip over to what I want immediately, but will eventually.

Plus one of the advantages of getting old, (or maybe, for some, disadvantages), is we start remembering things that happened years ago that we thought we had long forgotten. I find the oral histories of older people can be so fascinating. They can take you back to a past time and you get to see how big historical events effected them and just how people lived in the day to day. (Always keeping in mind that it’s how they perceived the world when they were younger , not necessarily how others did.).

Petera Wed 12-Oct-22 06:53:43

Urmstongran I stepped into the shower and for the life of me I couldn’t remember how to switch it on ..

The time to really worry is when you step into the shower and can't remember why you're there.

Calendargirl Wed 12-Oct-22 07:15:47

For some reason, this morning I have been trying to recall the name of the good looking actor who was in ‘Between The Lines’ years ago. I knew it was Neil, but the surname escaped me. It has now popped into my head- Pearson.

And yes, I could have googled it, but I really think that is one of the reasons why our memories fail us, nowadays it’s so easy to just ‘look it up’ instead of using our memory and really thinking about it.

Greyduster Wed 12-Oct-22 07:34:51

I have episodes like this too, but then I’m 76 and can’t expect it be sharp as a pin, but it does worry me. About eighteen months ago I came into the house and couldn’t remember the code to unset the burglar alarm. I did it every day, sometimes more than once, without even thinking about it, but this time? Blank! Of course before DH could get in the house to help me it went off, and I stood there in tears. It’s never happened since. Very odd.