Mild Cognitive Impairment?

The first thing that alerted me to driving problems was when OH could not remember which turning to take off the roundabouts, even after reading the huge sign a few yards back.

I asked DH’s Parkinson’s consultant to assess his ability to drive safely as I knew that he, always an excellent driver, was losing the ability to make rapid decisions. She allowed him to drive home from his hospital appointment and we got rid of his beloved BMW within 48 hours. It was painful but he was proud to have an unblemished licence so I made much of that, and though he hated not driving he accepted the fact, though giving me a great deal of unwanted advice!

That’s absolutely right icanhandthemback, one day capable and the next not. That’s why it’s so important to use a solicitor who can confirm that on the day in question the person had capacity.

Floradora9, that isn't true. With Dementia, capacity is fluctuating and one day you may not be able to take in the ramifications and the other day you will. My Aunt had dementia but she could remember her children and that she wanted to leave money to them so was allowed to make a will. She was also able to give a Power of Attorney to them because whilst she couldn't remember what day of the week it was, she knew she trusted them to do what she would have wanted. It just needs those with the ability to discern whether they have capacity to be able to do those things.

My OH and I organised powers of attorney when we were early 60s. It was a huge blessing when he became so ill. I was able to deal with the finances; and to take the hard decisions about his care.

For Power of Attorney you have to be of sound mind. Unless you get a sympathetic doctor he will not be able to take this out .

Yes powers of attorney while he s
Still can. Whatever it was. I tried to get my husband to get his parents to do them, he wouldn't, and when they were finally able to persuade them to do so it was too late for him and that caused them no end of difficulty until the end of their lives. Whether or not it's dementia or something else. To me I could see there was something wrong, and as I suspected it was (vascular) dementia, but no one listened to me, the driving was dreadful, honestly someone might not be bothered about injuring themselves but the risk to other road and pavement users is too high to risk it

I am so sorry you are going through this trial - it’s very hard to accept a verdict that this has already developed into a problem. You laid out very revealing symptoms.

With the help of family and medical personnel AND if caught in the early stages (dementia), there may still be help to cope with the issues you listed.

If the car keys are withheld it will strip him of independence so expect his push-back. It is for everyone’s safety. Please do seek counsel on what you need to prepare for.
USA Gundy

I certainly agree with the Power of Attorney. Even with one, you find that it can be difficult to navigate some medical professionals but it certainly helps especially if lack of capacity make decisions impossible.

If he hasn’t already got a power of attorney please do it through a solicitor who will ensure that he understands what he’s doing and will be able to confirm that should the validity of the power be called into question. Likewise a will.

That's excellent advice about Power of Attorney.

DH and I organised both financial and medical Power of Attorney, when I retired on health grounds.
It was one of the questions I was asked on admission to hospital last month.
It makes things so much easier for a patient's family.

Hi. Sorry to hear that you are having these problems with your o/h. My husband was diagnosed with Alzhiemers last March. I knew a few years ago something was wrong, 5 of his family had/have Alzhiemers so looked like it was on the cards.
I got Power of Attorney 5 years ago and I urge you to consider this as a priority as dealing with any firm etc will be a nightmare without it. I did the application on line and its a lot cheaper than a solicitor. Please get him to see a Dr, he is now under a mental health xlinic and is visited by a nurse every 2 weeks. Dvla and car insurance need to be told. He has a 1 year licence which is checked each year by dvla contacting his Dr. He doesn't drive very mu h now.
I too thought I would have a productive and lovely retirement but I am now his carer and claim attendance allowance. I keep busy and try to live one day at a time. My thoughts and good wishes go out to you at this difficult time. If he is diagnosed with dementia then you must look after yourself always aswell. Best wishes

I'm so sorry is rather an inadequate thing to say. As I'm sure you already know, your husband is clearly showing the signs of dementia. Dementia and MCI are different in that degrees of MCI are what happens to all of us - a slowing down of the brain. Dementia is forgetting how to do basic, very basic things you have done for years. Example dressing, making a cup of tea, finding your way to somewhere you've been going to for years. With my father I remember him asking me "where are we" half a mile from his home.
So the question really is 'how do you deal with this.' Is OH a dominant type who's always controlled everything? Is he becoming angry and intimidating? Do you have children who will help you? If I were you I would go to the Alzheimer Society who we found very helpful for advice on how to deal with this. Also there are support groups who can give you better advice than I can. Meanwhile you'll have to hide the car keys.....

My husbands dementia stated 17 years ago at age 60…. he denied anything g wrong but it was there! Hearing started to go…driving was a ‘white knuckle ride’ …I don’t drive but insisted he get rid of car as he hated driving anyway. So we’ve done without it all this time. Not missed! Then his memory just started to melt…his confusion was horrible to watch. Anyway I’ve looked after him since, but the last 3 years it was mixed with Alzheimer’s…and now had become a 22 hour a day job….while he got more and more confused and disorientated ! I’m no doctor …but your husband has all the classic signs. Mine has finally gone into full time care…as his mobility has deteriorated over 6-7 years , and me lifting a 12.5 stone man (who could not help himself ) from the floor 2-3 times s day was killing me. After my third stroke last year my kids said ‘ enough is enough’ . Get you husband to the doctor and ask for ‘memory clinic ‘ assessment.
I’m so sorry for you… I know the road only too well.

Re the driving - I was there with my DH 4 years ago; I asked my sister how to stop him driving and she said to find an independent person (not family or friend) to go out in the car with him. I suggested an acquaintance who is a retired driving instructor but my DH just said he would stop driving - he knew. I got rid of his car within 24 hours by asking my nephew to sell it for us.
Four years on, DH is immobile and in a nursing home with a diagnosis of Lewy Body Dementia.
You do not have an easy path ahead of you, but you MUST stop your DH from driving, for everyone's sake.

I had increasing problems with remembering appointments, forgetting peoples names etc. I thought it was dementia and insisted my GP referred me to the psychiatrist or whoever it was. He decided on Mild Cognitive Impairment and I was tested again a year later, when my score had improved! If it had been dementia, there would have been a deterioration. I still swear blind that I didnt do something until my husband eventually proves otherwise. It is irritating and its scary at first if you think it might be the beginning of dementia. I did give up work as I just didnt want to look unprofessional and let people down. There are several different kinds of dementia with different causes and also treatments which can slow the progression of the disease if caught early enough. Im not embarrassed about my poor memory now. I just own up straight away and ask for help if necessary but it took a few years to get to that place. What you describe does sound more severe than Mild Cognitive Impairment, but could have a number of causes. If your husband wont go, make an appointment to see the GP for yourself and explain the situation. Good luck!

I am sorry winterwhite, this gentleman's incapacity as described by the OP is far too severe for him to wait a doctor's visit before he stops driving, he really is not safe to drive and could easily kill someone.

The avarage accident rate of any group of drivers has no relevance to judging the danger or safety of any individual in either group and this gentleman is clearly not safe to be driving.

You need to get an assessment from your GP. I have been through this with my Dad, but other family members ignored certain warning signs. It is very hard, but a proper diagnosis is a start for whatever help is required for the quality of life.

Very sad for both of you and really sorry for your situation but you really need to try and take control. Start by taking over the car keys, OK if you can drive otherwise you are putting both of you in danger by allowing him to drive.
As others have said please get him to the doctors and take things from there. If you can it would help if you had the conversation with him beforehand about his present state. You have to try to be honest and explain how much he has changed and how his actions are a worry for you.
I do hope you get some help and very soon. Take care.

I am sorry if you thought I misunderstood Monica. I hadn't realised my own powers were so defective.
I thought I was clear that I fully agreed with the need for a speedy GP assessment.
But I thought that some of the comments early on about driving in the interim were unnecessarily harshly worded in view of the difficulty of carrying them out, which is what I did think.

PerkyPiggy

I'm afraid your husband has dementia and things will only get worse. He has to stop driving. My father-in-law was like this in the beginning and would only stop driving after two accidents.

You must be a very skilled medical professional PerkyPiggy to be able to diagnose patients unseen.

The only people able to diagnose what is going on with your DH are medical professionals so get him an appointment with a doctor asap any way you can.

DH neds tobe assessed by GP. Not only is SHs life in danger but yours and others too. If you do nothing could ypu live knowing you could perhaps have prevented a crash.

As others have suggested please see the GP.
Could you perhaps have a word with the surgery first, explaining your husbands reticence, they might be able to send a letter, asking he book for a general "Over 70s check up" whilst it's really a Dementia check

Ziplok

People who keep posting “your husband has dementia” can’t possibly know this. It could well be, but equally, it could be something quite different, and until an assessment is done, by a professional, such an automatic diagnosis given by people on this forum cannot be taken as fact.

Certainly, the symptoms you describe HarlemShuffle are very concerning and your DH does need to be assessed ASAP. The poor driving is, obviously a huge concern, as you are obviously aware.

The best thing to do would be, I think, as suggested by so many other posters, to contact your DH’s surgery, either going in or by phone, listing everything to them that you have said here in your first post and try to arrange an assessment via the pretext of an MOT over 70’s health check or blood tests or similar (whatever they suggest, really).

It must be so hard for you, but I think you know instinctively what you need to do in order to get answers and next steps. 💐

Indeed, undetected UTI's can cause the most amazing symptoms which mimic dementia.