Black Dog 16

It went OK with Valuer. Lots to think about: priced more or less what I'd thought: as decorators booked for end of May just hoping nothing happens push me onto the market before that. Like something come up again I really want! I need the re-coup time badly and waiting for results, appointments etc hat could occupy me a lot. MRI result (alien lump) will be 3 weeks on Monday not come.

Just had a 2.5 hour nanny nap, Don't think it will be an early night.

Scaredy-cat we have taken the gds out in the past but they are older now so we don’t have them so much and they have outgrown a lot of the things they used to enjoy. But even with them I found it very stressful. We don’t take the youngest out. Dh can’t walk far . We sometimes meet son 2 and family at a park but I speak to d in l and he speaks to son. But the drive there and back is silent.

SweetPeaSue- you have done as much as you can to prepare for your Appts. Yes Doodles idea of important points first sounds sensible then say everything you want to say. If you write it all down you can read it out if necessary .
Will think of you and hope all goes well.
HVDY- oh you must feel so weak with so little nourishment and still a dicky tummy. Would you be able to eat scrambled egg on toast- it might help. Glad you,ve stopped shivering that’s a good sign. Hope you feel better soon.
Wyllow- it’s a day of mixed emotions for you today. Buying and selling houses can be stressful but the end result - hopefully- will be you in the city of your choice and a new home that you can make new memories in . There is no rush but at least after the valuation you can know what is possible for you. An estate agent is no match for you!!
Doodle- wouldn’t it be great if you can manage a little walk together next week- glad the cream is helping so keeping everything crossed for you. It’s encouraging you had a good night too. Do you have a balcony so you can sit outside and look at the river?
Yes it’s the AF that has slowed me down I don’t get breathless as such but feel much weaker and tired- legs still ok.
Candy- glad your MiL still seems to be coping well.
I like routine too - it’s sort of comforting but too much and then the unpredictable really throws you doesn’t it.
You need your Nana naps - you work so hard and have had much stress lately.
Whiff- although I didn’t know Cabbie I,m so sorry to hear her sad news. Hope she has lots of support.
You wrote a lovely post today- thank you.
Nadateturbe- I hope you are feeling stronger today.
EllieAnne- Hope your back is better today.
Could you and DH both take your DGC out together in the school holidays? It would be something you could share.
Hope the Bluebell picture is posted I,m not very confident of my abilities. I thought it might bring some hope that Summer won’t be far behind.
Hope Sallyyy and everyone who posts or reads is having as good a day as possible

Phew glad that's over now I can hide under the duvet. things went OK lots to think over.

No, never easy, EllieAnne

Must check the local wood Scaredycat but I think in about a week here. Glad you got out see them.

Bluebells were out today!!!

I didn’t get a plant. Nothing really appealed and I thought they were too dear anyway.
Candy thank you for your information. It’s hard to explain my situation. Basically we have just grown apart. We have nothing in common apart from the family. We sleep in separate rooms and hardly speak. But he doesn’t seem to think that there is anything wrong . I go out a lot and he sits in the house all day in front of tv or computer. He does have some health problems but could do a lot more. I get very stressed at home but tired from being out. People say just leave but it’s not that easy for various reasons.
Thank you for caring.

I'm in a right state waiting for the valuer. Why am I doing this? Cant stay, cant go, panic....at least she sounded nice on the phone but I mustn't be "soft soaped" either by an estate agent...

I’m all for Nana naps Candy I arrange days to get ‘afternoon off”. You needed it after recent stresses.

whiff what a lovely post. Just everything you say.

It is such a relief to come in here and not fear judgement.

Wave nadateurbe back.

HVDY hope tum bug goes soon. Yes you will lose weight but not a nice way to do it!

Yes I should be taking it easy, I had a long troubled night no doubt a mix of valued coming and it’s symbolic meaning as the house I thought of found my life partner with…so very ambiguous about it… (but in truth even if I wanted to stay I couldn’t afford to for more than a couple of years.)

So woke thinking ‘I’ll take it easy’ but couldn’t relax so popped out to Sainsburys for week shop and long coffee.

Bests all BD’s posting and just reading. Keep on keeping on we can do it.

Just to say I read and have been thinking about you all. 💐

Doodle I'm glad that (for now) your husband's tests are soon coming to an end. It's good that his legs are improving a bit. Are they painful?

SweetpeaSue I hope today and tomorrow go well for you. I'll be thinking about you.

Wyllow You had a very busy day yesterday - gym, getting your house all straightened up, etc. Having a more relaxing day today?

Whiff What very lovely words you've put about the group. You, more than anyone, have been through such a lot in your life, yet still remain optimistic and cheerful.

I barely ate a thing yesterday - a Slimfast shake and 1/2 a banana all day - yet still had "the trots", even at 1am, 6am and 7am this morning. Bloody hell. No shivering, though, so that was good. I'll be losing more weight .

Sad news about Cabbie's husband (I've noticed her name on other threads). Hope all BDers manage to have a decent day today x

Just a sad bit of news for anyone who knows Cabbie incase you haven't seen her post her darling husband died in the night. She has helped so many people on various threads including myself she may have helped someone here just thought I would pass the sad news on.

I have been reading your posts daily as I do. And don't think each and everyone of realise how special you all are no matter how much physical and mental pain you are going through or dealing with illness of your loved ones or the death of a loved one you still give help and support to everyone else.

You all show how strong and courageous you are daily. Even when you are at your lowest ebb you still give support to others. No matter what life throws and you and some think life isn't worth living you carry on . You face dreadful things daily and still you think of others. I don't think any of you realise just how important and special you all are .

You are a lovely group of very strong women and it saddens me when you put yourself down . Not one of you should feel you are weak as you aren't you are all so very brave . You face every problem head on whether that's tests or operations or just your body playing up.

Since being on this thread it's never been doom and gloom but a thread that is full of hope that no matter what happens life is worth the fight everyday no matter what. Whatever someone posts you are all there with practical advice or just a loving word and in a world which seems at times to be everyman for himself that's rare and special.

You inspire me daily that no matter what I can get through each day. I always try and find a positive from a negative and that's what all of you do to whether you realise it or not.

Your words reach more people than you think and help them because you are all so open about what's going on in your life the good,bad and down right awful. None of you give yourself enough credit for how much your words inspire people. I for one read you words which make my problems seem trivial but you inspire me that ok this has happened or happening but look at what everyone else is facing and know because of all of you I can face it.

Thank you for always being here for those in need.

Those facing tests and operations hope all goes well and that goes for your loved ones whatever they are facing as well.

Never let anyone make you feel weak because none of you are you are wonderful pride of lionesses and long may you be so. 💝

Evening all, thank you for all your kind wishes re FiL’s funeral. It went as well as it could. I always find it very bittersweet at funerals - whilst they are so sad it’s also an opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for ages. Much better at a wedding though I think. Thankfully MiL seems ok 🤞.
Ellie Anne I’m sorry you are unwell. I hope your flue symptoms have got better. I’m sorry things are difficult for you at home. You may feel trapped in your situation which I can fully understand but just something to consider - I don’t know the finer details, but someone I know who was in an unhappy relationship but not abusive at all, finally left and moved to some type of refuge. She has been there nearly 3 months. Like I said, I really don’t know the finer details as she’s not allowed to say and I can’t say how it will turn out because it’s so early days but I always thought refuges were places you go when abuse has taken place, which definitely wasn’t the case in her relationship. Just relating the story in case it’s something you want to look into but of course, you may already have. This lady is in her late 60’s, so hasn’t given up hope and I hope you don’t either. I can also relate in how you feel about your children. I’ve been there. When my son was poorly, I used to think “why him and not them?”. I know that sounds awful and I certainly didn’t wish anything on anyone else, I was just in despair. You’re a caring, loving mum so it’s natural you will feel like that. Don’t beat yourself up. I like routine too. I rely on it too much though I think. I hope you are ok.
Doodle I’m glad your church meeting was good. I hope you do get back to your walking. Like Scaredycat said, maybe a mobility scooter for DH? The family all “clubbed together” to get one for FiL. My DH sourced it from Ebay and got it for a good price. Might be worth thinking about. I hope DH is ok and his test results are ok too.
Scaredycat I’m glad you’re walking ok. Yes, they do tell us to keep going now. The advice used to be to rest, now it’s the opposite and it’s good to keep going if we can I think.
Nadaterturbe I’m sorry you have low energy and have been in pain. I hope this has eased today and your are ok.
Sweetpeasue so sorry you’ve been in pain again. It just won’t let up will it? I agree with Wyllow. If the only time you get to speak with the consultant is immediately prior to the op, then so be it. It’s not like you haven’t tried to discuss your issues before that time. It’s your body, your health and sometimes you do just have to think of yourself and the impact on your own family. You have a lot going on and I hope it all gets resolved soon, I really do. Your relationship sounds like mine. DH and I have been together a long time and have faced some stressful times, but we’ll always be together I know. Your words to Wyllow were lovely.
Wyllow I wish you had someone special too but don’t give up hope. I know of lots of people who have found true love later in life. It’s can happen unexpectedly and you do have a varied social life, gym, quakers etc. so the opportunities are there. A close friend of mine, who was divorced many years go and who would have loved to meet someone, just never did and now, she wouldn’t want it. She lives a very full and happy life. Getting a valuation is a good thing, it gives you a foundation on where to start. I’m glad you had a bit of a lift in your mood. I hope it lasts for you.
HVDY you sound like you’ve got a nasty virus. Rest and rehydration is the key. I hope you feel better soon.

Had a ‘Nana nap’ late this afternoon. Did me good. Hope you all have a restful night and special ❤️ To all those not personally mentioned xxxx

Wyllow Thankyou. Understand. I'm scared but I'll cope.

Wyllow Thankyou. Understo

Yes Sweetpeasue I was thinking about coping tomorrow!

Its some distance but the RVI is the hospital my DGD goes to for treatment and they are very good x

Wyllow My appt with Gynaecologist is Saturday but you understand about my anxiety tomorrow.(and now).

It really isnt too late to find someone if thats what you would like. Some people dont at all. You come across as an energetic person with a sharp mind. (energetic as in what you are if not having ME) plus so much love for others. Hope you sleep tonight.

What a horrible night, HVDY. I hope your tum has settled today. Change of diet couldn't have done that...Any idea what set it all off?

I hope you got your daily walk today, Scaredycat

What a sudden development, Sweetpeasue. No wonder today has been as it it. It sounds like you really are on top of the information - and I just hope - so much -that something really positive comes out of it. Will hold you in my minds as tomorrow and the wait will be tough - take some meds help if you need to to get there!

I hope you get some results soon, *Doodle". How was last night? ENT might lead to a hearing aid? Hoping so much DH does get more mobility back and the cream helps some more.

Lots of helpful feedback today, thank you. Including not to late to find someone nice, I certainly need more friends, but depends where I end up of course. Woke pretty bad but I was going for walk in Botanical Gardens but they were closed! so walked at the gym but 20 mins and a stretch out was enough.

I came home to join my cleaner in spiffing house up for valuation and worked quite hard so by the end of all that felt so awful and everything hurt so took extra meds and tramadol so after I woke my mood has been better and its a relief to have a break from my head and potter.

Nadateturbe CandyWhiffSally and any missed hope you all have a peaceful night free from troubled minds.

Doodle Glad your DH has only 1 more test in couple of weeks. Hope any results to come from previous tests will be helpful. So good you had a good night at last. Sorry I forget you live at other end of country. RVI is large hospital in North East, around 65mls from us. GPs idea-- referred me there when I couldnt go back to previous Gynaes because lost trust. Great suggestion of important stuff first. Understand about junior Drs. Ive had to go privately at first after op went wrong. Ist appt with 2nd Gynae, a consultation with a Gastroenterologist before NHS one and 1 appt with last Gynaecologist before taking me on NHS. I dont know what else we can do when faced with either huge waiting lists when in dire circumstances or when lose trust when complications happen and not told. We chose private consultations through sheer desperation and backed into corner. Hope you have a good night tonight too.

Ellie Anne hope your back is a bit better now and the flu symptoms have improved. I do miss my walks. Just being able to notice the trees starting to leaf and the plants growing. Hoping maybe next week if we have a break from hospital appointments maybe we can manage a small walk.
Even having some small thing to do each day can help pass the time. Must be nice for your DGD s to see you after school. Do you get them their tea?
Wyllow good idea to check out the local Quakers too as the meetings seem to be an important part of your life. Nothing wrong with taking your plans slowly. Just spending time thinking about where you might like to live and researching the area is a good thing. We did a lot of research on flats and the local area before moving here. Not regretted it.
HVDY you can make friends in all sorts of ways can’t you but classes of some kind are a good way of getting to know others.
No one more test for DH in a couple of weeks I think plus an appointment with ENT as he’s loosing his hearing in one ear. Not had all the results yet though so don’t know what those might throw up,
Certainly sounds like some sort of stomach bug. Poor you. Hope the worst is over now and you have a better night tonight.
Scaredycat we won’t give up the idea of walks just yet. You are right a mobility scooter is an option but we are hoping DHs legs will improve soon. The cream the GP prescribed is making the skin better so that’s one good thing.
It’s nice to get out even for a short walk. Do you find the AF affects your ability to walk? Does it make you breathless at all?
Sweetpeasue I certainly think if you can afford it, a few visits to someone privately is a good course of action firstly if the waiting time is too long but secondly if you don’t think you are being listened to. If you pay you at least expect a bit more attention from the consultant and also you get to see the person themselves and not a junior doctor (don’t get me wrong. Junior doctors are great and one recently was fantastic with us)
We had a good night last night thanks.
Wow an appointment at last. Sorry what is RV1? Try and make some bullet point type notes for if your mind goes blank while you’re there, it also helps to make sure you get through things in a timely manner and get the important stuff dealt with first
Hope it goes well.
.

Scaredycat Thanks. I feel weak and tired, as well as very hungry, but not going to eat anything for fear of starting things off again. How's your GGS getting on?

SweetpeaSue Thanks. I'll be glad to get to bed (so tired).
You've had such a lot of problems, for 2 years, and it must all be going round and round in your mind such a lot. I can only imagine the anxiety. I hope you get some answers from your appointment.

How's everyone been today?

Scaredycat Sorry missed your post. I'm glad you have managed to get out for a walk today. I know you feel wary of walking alone because of AF so you are doing so well to keep that up. I remember Annie's words about walking too. Your words of reassurance much appreciated, thankyou. I hope your sister is managing and getting stronger. Also your little GGS's doing ok with his eating now. (realise 'Great' came after'little' there!)

Doodle Thankyou for your support. You have so much on with your poor DH its really good of you to give v helpful input towards my wooly minded decision making. I think I might have to go private with Pain M. Its so disheartening for you both all of your DHs health problems continueing and you both not being able to walk out as you both used to. You both need some 'normality' of quality of life and things you both enjoyed together. I totally understand your sadness of not knowing how much of your former life you can recover. We are in the struggle to keep plodding on and not giving up on hope. I hope your DH wasn't too bad last night after having to stop some of his meds and there have been no further falling out of bed problems.
HVDY I hope you're feeling a little better today. I'm guessing you're still feeling poorly. Thinking of you.
EllieAnne Hoping you too are feeling better. My DH has just used some grass feed on lawn. Hope you managed to get a nice house-plant.
Wyllow I hope your day has gone ok and your CFS has allowed you to do some of the things you need or want to do. My Louise Penny book came today though I'll need to finish a book that Ive been on with for ages. Actually-- I just might break a habit of mine in trying to stay with a book that I find hard going and ditch the thing!

Well today has been really stressful too. Bladder pain as usual but not extreme as in needing oramorph.
While stressing about what to do about that, get call from RVI. Someone says been going down list of errors made on waiting list and I should never have waited this long!!
Can I make an appt on Saturday?

So stricken by complete terror/panic.
Spent hrs trying to condense the saga of last 2n half yrs. Copies of scans n papers everywhere. I was referred in November after Gynaecologist discharged me and bleeding. Things much changed since as in not getting uterus pain since stopped bleeding and bladder/bowel pain taken over.

Need to concentrate mainly on womb lining thickness. Is it Adenomyosis or other abnormal thickness as Gynaecologist said lining too thin when he did op in September even though scan said different last March. Should HRT restart? Could my bowel/bladder pain be nerve related as in Pudendal Nerve Entrapment. Not expecting him to know answer to that last 1 but needs to be asked. Know he'll find it all complicated but where I am now is important though answers could lie way back.

Trawling through everything has been so hard, brings everything up afresh, and I know this appt will be hard and anxiety will be huge. Too early to say my bleeding wont restart so dont know what he will suggest. It only restarted in March when taken off HRT but could be coincidence.

Hope everyones day has been ok. Sorry not mentioned everyone. I'm so scared of revisiting Gynae issues but must be done.

HVDY- oh you do sound poorly- yes maybe a hottie would help you warm up a bit - the shivers are horrible .
I hope you are feeling better today.
SweetPeaSue- glad your pain let up enough for you to go out- hope it helped you forget about your worries for a moment.
You have a difficult decision to make but must do what is best for you and your health. You don’t have to decide for a while yet but I can understand your reluctance to leave it til the day of the Op. But I guess as the nurse gave you that option you wouldn’t be the first one to do just that.
I,m ok thanks - just learning to live with the AF being constant.
I hope your pain is staying away today.
EllieAnne- you are so hard on yourself and you don’t sound like an envious person at all. It’s only natural sometimes to wish your children had an easier life - you are just a Mum who loves them.
Glad your back is improved - hope you soon start to feel well- take it easy when you can.
Wyllow- maybe the flat coming off the market will give you the breathing space you need. So as you say, try and enjoy the present and spend some time doing the things that give you pleasure - there will be another potential future home for you. You can still look and plan - it will happen .
You never know what will happen in the future - you have a big heart and much to offer. I care too Wyllow.
Doodle- good to hear you enjoyed your church yesterday . It must have been so nice to see everyone and do something for yourself.
I,m sad too that you and DH cant go for your walks. Would it be possible if he really can’t manage walking for him to maybe get a mobility scooter and you could walk beside him. Our walks are much shorter but I,m so grateful to still be able to do it daily. DH has the Gym so he doesn’t mind going at my pace.
I really miss Annie and her words echo in my mind every day while out.
Love to all

Wyllow At 72, you're not too old to make friends/find someone special. It just takes time. I've made a couple of friends by going to aqua aerobics.
Doodle Is that the end of the tests for your DH (for now)? I haven't felt flu-ey, it's some kind of a stomach bug, I think.
SweetpeaSue Hope the pain has stayed off today.

I had a terrible night - shivering (jumper over pyjamas, duvet and 3 fllecy blankets, and very bad diarrhoea about 10 times. Didn't get to sleep until 6.45, then it started again at 7.30. DH got me some Dioralyte and Immodium (I took both!), and I've only had a banana so far today. Not the best way to lose weight . Hope all BDers have been ok today x