Anxiety re street party

Foxygloves

If it is causing real anxiety, go out for the day. Plead a prior engagement (family visits are always a good excuse)
Now you are grown up you can take control of your own Life!

Good one. Having to be with family most acceptable one.

My advice is say you’re a Republican ( I am) and you’d rather not be part of it ….thank you anyway. Nothing is happening around here….nobody gives a damn!

If it is causing real anxiety, go out for the day. Plead a prior engagement (family visits are always a good excuse)
Now you are grown up you can take control of your own Life!

I'd feel just the same. But would feel I must show my face.

M n S or similar will have loads of coronation party goodies, I'm sure, that's what I'd take. I'd use the lightest of small talk so nothing could bounce back on me and hope to be known as "that nice quiet lady from no 14".

Hetty58 We've never lived anywhere that had street parties, which suited us perfectly. However, about eighteen months ago, a new couple moved into the close, and she's an absolute nightmare!

Every other week she's trying to organise something

Disaster.

Organisers have to live somewhere, thankfully not near us.

Ive never been to a street party as I have mostly lived in flats. Lived in this area now for 22 years and its very diverse. Two main ethnic groups who dont particularly mix so I dont think street parties are their thing. They do have some wonderful weddings though.

Hetty58

We've got an obsessive 'organiser' here too - always trying to make arrangements, give people roles, make to-do lists etc. (It's just another version of social anxiety, the need for control.)

We tend to ignore her. These events don't really need organising. Just arrange for the street to be closed (local council) and everything else is 'bring your own', the food, music, entertainment, company, tables and chairs. It's quite relaxed, compared to organised events where you have to travel - and then feel you have to stay for a certain time - like it or not.

A little bit of organisation is a good idea otherwise you could end up with 30 broad bean and spinach quiches!

We've got an obsessive 'organiser' here too - always trying to make arrangements, give people roles, make to-do lists etc. (It's just another version of social anxiety, the need for control.)

We tend to ignore her. These events don't really need organising. Just arrange for the street to be closed (local council) and everything else is 'bring your own', the food, music, entertainment, company, tables and chairs. It's quite relaxed, compared to organised events where you have to travel - and then feel you have to stay for a certain time - like it or not.

We've never lived anywhere that had street parties, which suited us perfectly.
However, about eighteen months ago, a new couple moved into the close, and she's an absolute nightmare!
Every other week she's trying to organise something, a get together at their house as they have a Bingo machine; sixties/seventies quiz nights; afternoon baking sessions for the 'ladies' (her words, not mine) of the close; firework parties for grandchildren (there is nobody under the age of 55 in our close, and all children have grown and left home; street party for the Queen's Platinum Jubilee; (it rained buckets on the day, and nobody wanted to get wet, hee hee); she even wanted to organise a street 'get together with food and drink' but not a 'party' to say Goodbye to the Queen!
She's organising a street party for the Coronation, and is putting ever more stroppy notes through letterboxes of residents who have said 'No' to her arrangements!
Quite honestly, most of us wish she'd just shut up and leave us alone, but nobody wants to upset her.
I couldn't care less whether she's upset or not, as she moved in here and within days started 'organising' people. This was a very quiet, peaceful close, where everyone was friendly, but since she arrived, if people don't 'fit in' with her plans, she gets nasty!
We won't be going to her Coronation party!

Could you maybe take a whole cake, sliced? And then when people show interest in you you could offer them a slice? Other people will be sharing too. I think this might help in getting to know your neighbours 😊

We went to one last year. We went with reservations, took our food offering, and found we really enjoyed it. Our pre determined half hour turned into three hours. You may find you do likewise. It’s a good opportunity to get to know the neighbours. As a result of it, we wave and say hello to most in our close. Do a bins out swap and such like. No harm can come of it.

For the Jubilee I took a pizza and a cake all cut and on paper plates so I could just leave them if I wanted to leave quickly. No alcohol was allowed as event on grassed area in our small estate and none
of the organisers had or wanted to apply for permission for alcohol consumption on public area. Took our own seats and a little foldable table. Met a lot of folk I'd never spoken to before. Event had a 2 - 4 pm limit.

Sounds good advice Applegran 👍🏻

I do understand your anxiety but it would be such an opportunity for you to get to know your neighbours and maybe even make friends.
Someone already suggested take a plate of sausage rolls and maybe a plate of mini cupcakes for the kids.
Think some questions to ask your neighbours to ease your anxiety. Maybe your husband will be able to start the conversations off and you slip into them.
Just think of it as a great opportunity and if it gets too much you can always say you need to go inside for a phone call and only come out when you feel like it again.

www.waterstones.com/book/feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway/susan-j-jeffers/9781785042652
Here is a description I found on the internet:

What are you afraid of - and how is it holding you back?

The phenomenal classic on moving from a place of paralysis, pain and indecision to one of energy, enthusiasm and action

Whatever your anxieties, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway ® can teach you how to handle what life throws at you, allowing you to take control, move forwards and live the life you want.

First published over 30 years ago, Susan Jeffers' phenomenal classic has helped change the lives of over two million readers around the world. Her timeless advice is as important and relevant today as when it was first published: we live in an era governed by fear - fear of failure, of missing out, of rejection, of the future, of change, of not fitting in, of intimacy, of being alone, of growing old ... the list seems endless. We are also easily paralysed by fear of the things we need to do from driving or public speaking to making tough decisions or asking for what we want or need.

Whatever your challenge and whatever fears are holding you back, Susan Jeffers' profound advice, insight and tools will help you move from a place of paralysis, pain and indecision to one of energy, enthusiasm and action.

People more often regret things they did not do, than things they did do. Quickly buy the paperback book "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" by Susan Jeffers - it really will help! And not just with the street party. I understand about what they call 'social anxiety' - I had it for many years - and help to see that it was my own thoughts getting in the way, plus 'hiding', has led me to feel ok socially. Other people turn out not to be looking at me as critically as I used to fear. I hope you will allow yourself to believe something can change here - the book is easy to read and not expensive!

I just think try overcome your anxiety for around an hour just to be polite. Because to be honest you might be grateful you’ve got to know a few of your younger neighbours in the future.

Callistemon21

^You may even find that some are looking for babysitters or extra grannies for their children^

That sounds like a good reason not to go!
😂

😁

if you were at the queens jubilee as a girl and have a small photo of that you might have it with you and it would be something to chat about and the differences etc these days. Give it a go and you can always say you have a headache, feel hot or cold , which ever is appropriate but it will register and you may enjoy chatting about the differences you may see. Hope you manage to go and enjoy

Just offer apologies that you have a clashing engagement and go to the pub!

Yes, she can 🙂

We had wonderful street events during covid, all socially distanced but great fun and it brought us together as neighbours. The children loved them after home schooling etc. However, not everybody went and that was fine. Nobody was ostracised . It was light hearted and you could stay as long as you wanted. We are the oldest on the street but joined in when we felt up to it or we just watched others . Younger people stated later as they drank more 😂
Unfortunately, 3 sets have moved so things change but my advice would be go if you want to, stay as long as you want to, make a lemon traybake to share. You might have a good experience!

Callistemon21

^You may even find that some are looking for babysitters or extra grannies for their children^

That sounds like a good reason not to go!
😂

Good way to get to know people though. Some Gransnetters don't have family close but enjoy spending time with others. Willow might have a lovely time, she'll never know unless she goes. If she doesn't enjoy it she can slide quietly home.

It's always good to know a few of your neighbours, you may surprise yourself and enjoy it.

You may even find that some are looking for babysitters or extra grannies for their children

That sounds like a good reason not to go!
😂