Anxiety re street party

Shelflife

If you know you are going to find the street party difficult don't go. Easier said than done to think " I will go for a short time" Don't feel guilty about not going! Having said that you may surprise yourself if you do go! I would enjoy it but recognize some people would find it difficult. Do what you feel comfortable with , if you don't go - so what!!! Whatever you do try and relax.

Spot on. If you don't want to go why worry for weeks, tell yourself you are not.
Take no notice of people saying you will enjoy it when you get there you know you won't and why work yourself up?
Many people are like you and although they may appear to be the life and soul of the party inside they are tied up in knots.
When we came to our village we soon realised that there were quite a few events that went on and felt obliged to turn up. They were all in big family groups and we felt like interlopers, we soon cut it down to the ones where we knew we would be welcome and have stuck to that. More people have come in with the same attitude and no one as ever accused us of staying at home, how rude if they do.

Take a plate of easy food, a readymade quiche, sausage rolls or perhaps a cake.
Stay for a short while, long enough to introduce yourself, smile, exchange niceties, then say you need to get back because you're expecting an important phone call/other excuse.

Then at least the neighbours won't think you're being aloof and wanting to avoid them all.

Who knows, you might enjoy it more than you think 🙂

I would say get to know your neighbours, say hi and drop in for half an hour.

NotAGran55

Is there a law in your street that says that you have to go? Nothing on earth would persuade me to go to anything like this in our village . Nothing to do with anxiety, I simply wouldn’t like it and wouldn’t go.
Be true to yourself OP and don’t be pressured into going if you really don’t want to.

Amen to that!

Life's too short to have to accommodate things and people for the sake of 'appearances'.

OP
There will doubtless be others who don't want to attend, for various reasons.
If you are suffering from anxiety, just don't go. It's not compulsory and your absence might well not be noticed anyway.
I'm a gregarious person and can handle these situations, but can well imagine the dread felt by those who really don't like socialising.
Anxiety is a horrible affliction. Don't add to your stress, remember, you don't have to attend.

Short and Sweet as they say. Everyone will be on the same page with the same common interest so you shouldn't have any 'trip hazards' as in difficult people. I would go and say ' Hello, my name is X and I live at No. Z. Aren't we lucky with the weather?' etc. Admiring people's dogs is always a favourite or ask if they have any pets or a cat and swap details about pet names. Safe area and when you have done the circuit you can go home and you will probably find you really enjoyed it or met a new neighbour.

Is there someone "taking charge" of it? If so give them a ring on the pretext of "best to bring...?" Or "do you need help with the table set-up" or whatever and then you have at least made contact with one person.
If they seem friendly you can say you're feeling a bit shy about it and that you hope you will find people to chat to. I think they will seek you out then.

People respond well to this type of introduction.

I hope you are pleasantly surprised.

I ve never lived in an area that has street parties ( although I ve lived in lots of different areas) so have never been to one

I m not anti but not into monarchy so I won’t go looking for one now, for sure however I do think a little effort on your part as it’s a fairly new neighbourhood might work wonders for you and as it’s nearby you can escape any time
However if this is going to make you upset in any way then go out for the day with your husband and do something you would enjoy doing instead
It’s no big thing just a very rich man having a weighty object plonked on his noodle Don’t get pulled into feeling guilty if you don’t want to go

If you know you are going to find the street party difficult don't go. Easier said than done to think " I will go for a short time" Don't feel guilty about not going! Having said that you may surprise yourself if you do go! I would enjoy it but recognize some people would find it difficult. Do what you feel comfortable with , if you don't go - so what!!! Whatever you do try and relax.

Willow73
If you decide to go, do as they want and just take food for yourself and husband and don’t forget the drinks too.I once took my DD’s to something like this and forgot the drinks, the kids were thirsty and I asked a group of people if they could have some juice and they said no! We immediately left and never went to another.It was a horrible unfriendly place tho people pretended to be friendly.
Where I live now is really different and neighbours are nice.
So if I were you I’d take a bottle of wine and a few sandwiches and see how it goes, if unfriendly don’t stay long.

don't get stuck on asking about where children go to school etc, or you could sound like a stalker.
people are super vigilant these days.

I share your social anxiety, Willow. Don't feel bad about it, just do the minimum and then leave if you still feel uncomfortable.
If you really dread it then simply don't go at all. But don't feel guilty. We are all different and some people simply find too many people at once horribly overwhelming. Good luck.

Is there a law in your street that says that you have to go? Nothing on earth would persuade me to go to anything like this in our village . Nothing to do with anxiety, I simply wouldn’t like it and wouldn’t go.
Be true to yourself OP and don’t be pressured into going if you really don’t want to.

Have a few stock questions - which house is yours? Which of the children are yours? How old? Do they go to the local school? Whereabouts is that school? Something about the food...

Ask yourself

1. Is this anxiety over something you would normally actually enjoy if you attended

Go

2. Is this anxiety over something you historically know you won't enjoy

Hide behind the sofa or have plans elsewhere

3. Is this anxiety over something you don't want to attend but will feel guilty if you don't?

Arrive late, leave early

I find these situations very difficult too, and sometimes have to use little white lies to get out of them. I was brought up to be honest, but sometimes one has to bend the truth as extroverts often don’t understand introverts! (Maybe you are an introvert like me?) Good luck with doing whatever you are comfortable with.

Salti

I would bake or buy something nice..... sausage rolls, buns, ice cream....anything with more or less universal appeal .......and appear when things are underway. Give an organiser your goodies and ask them to share them out among the kids. Depending how you feel either make your excuses and leave or stay a short while and chat.

Even if you don't stay you'll be remembered as the nice lady who brought.....whatever.

I would bake or buy something nice..... sausage rolls, buns, ice cream....anything with more or less universal appeal .......and appear when things are underway. Give an organiser your goodies and ask them to share them out among the kids. Depending how you feel either make your excuses and leave or stay a short while and chat.

I would at least make an appearance even for ten minutes or so. I’m not a socialiser and normally avoid parties but we had a wonderful street party last June and there is to be another one on Sunday the 7th May. My intention was to stay half an hour but I was outside for 8hrs!!! We had sharing tables for food, quizes, colouring for young kids, croquet, sports day egg & spoon, hula hoop, cake comp, bingo, best crown etc. Looking forward to this one which is more low key and fingers crossed weatherwise. Our street is the best street I’ve ever lived in with a lovely mixture of people young and old. Wouldn’t hesitate asking any of them for help if/when needed.

Good for you, Willow deciding to give it a go. "Better to regret doing something than not doing something" ... or words to that effect!

I wouldn't worry too much about having to make polite conversation. I expect everything will revolve around the children getting high on sugar. There should be some entertaining people watching.

I had street party anxiety last year at the jubilee.
Myself and 2 friends organise these parties.
Last year we put the bunting up ( imagine the bunting zigzagging across the close) the night before.
On the morning of the party a delivery driver removed the “road closed” sign and drove through the bunting.
We got it sorted and had a wonderful day.

I’d go Willow73 take a bunch of flowers in a container you can leave to pop on the table, food is a minefield for other people these days.
Enjoy your food, if it’s full tilt when you want to leave just go, maybe a quick thank note online or whatever afterwards.
It’s not everyone’s idea of fun, but showing your face is not a bad idea.

Its a great opportunity to meet your neighbours. We have lived here over 30 years and dont know any of ours, apart from the house next door.
We were the young family then but no longer and it would be nice to think we could knock on a neighbour's door, someone we knew, in emergency.

Honestly what I’ve discovered over the years - people won’t notice your absence - just turn up with your contribution, then say quite honestly that street parties aren’t your thing but wish everyone a splendid time and cheerily wave goodbye and make your escape.

Won’t make a scrape of difference to the party and you will enjoy your afternoon🙂🥳

You don't have to stay a moment longer than you want. Take something with you, hand it over and just see how you feel. If you want to stay a little longer, give it a wee moment and see how you feel. You might start to enjoy yourself. But don't feel under any obligation. These things aren't compulsory.

Take a nice big jug of Pimms - a guaranteed ice-breaker! And have one yourself - it might well relax you.