Anxiety re street party

Well done Willow

Well done Willow73. I’d be just as apprehensive but luckily for me nothing like that has ever been planned here.

Willow73

Hi everyone, before I wrote this thread I thought I was the only person who felt like this, now I’m aware of just how many do I’m not happy because I feel for you all but relieved that I’m not alone.
We went and lasted 1hour, talked to lovely people and some ignored me but I did it!
Next will be the Christmas get together when panic starts again !

Well done you.

We, too, dislike small talk, people we don't know - but yesterday we persevered, worked our socks off, done and dusted.

Our village with a population of about 100 has 78 people signed up for the coronation lunch tomorrow.

We have lived here for a long time so will know nearly everyone but will be glad to meet any newcomers.

If I was a newcomer I'd be really looking forward to meeting everyone.

Hi everyone, before I wrote this thread I thought I was the only person who felt like this, now I’m aware of just how many do I’m not happy because I feel for you all but relieved that I’m not alone.
We went and lasted 1hour, talked to lovely people and some ignored me but I did it!
Next will be the Christmas get together when panic starts again !

I don`t blame you LR. I have just come home, left them to it. Very nice group and I did get some good conversation going but it was all I could do to stop me obviously checking my watch. Sneaking out was impossible as everyone was in a circular space. Yes I am glad I went, have to be glad because I was asked but small talk is so hard at times. I must have been internally tense as I have a teeny headache now. I am glad it is over, for me

And here's a real cop out! We are having a street party outside my window and when I looked at all the people seated there, I just could not face an afternoon with them. We are off instead to a local tea room for afternoon tea and a nice walk in the countryside. I just can't face the small talk. Terrible, I know but I do need some exercise so the walk will do me good and the yummy home made cakes are a distraction.

I read through this thread last night, also feeling anxious as it is so difficult being solo in a small crowd of couples and children. 15 minutes to spare last night and I jumped in the car, to the local co-op, found a beautiful thorners chocolate cake and now it is cut up and packed ready to take. Just that simple act of getting the cake was enough to take the anxiety away, so thank you for the suggestions. I do know everyone btw

I know fine well that I can hop from couple to couple and soon after will be able to quietly slip away to home. If I am spotted then they will just think that I need the loo and will forget about me. I am leaving my house at 2

Thinking of you willow

It’s from 2pm this afternoon. Think we have planned or day so we appear for an hour! Let you know how it goes. Thank you all for being there.

Did you go, willow? How was it?

This thread has been really useful in making me think about the kind of thing I’d like to see or organise in our area - there’s some great community stuff happening, although definitely not in the Coronation/street party vibe!

I always used to feel I should join in with these occasions, then would get there and feel like a square peg in a round hole. Meanwhile DH, who would have to be cajoled to go along, would find plenty to chat about with everyone. I've now given up.

My old schoolfriend was an “organiser” when she lived in our village. Jumble sales, sponsored events, gala, amateur dramatics and several village pantos.

Some people thought she was OTT and had to be involved with everything.

However, she moved away some years ago and since then people have complained that there’s not much on in the village. Her pantos are still talked about and fondly remembered because she managed to persuade so many local people to take part.

People like her should be applauded for giving up their time and enthusiasm for community events. As my Mum used to say “you’re a long time dead”. 😉

We have 7 single people in our close. They all came to the party and were so happy to laugh and sing and dance with the whole close.
Our oldest resident is 87. Her dancing was amazing. She’s still got wonderful rhythm.

Did you go in the end?

I hid from ours lol

Smile sweetly and say unfortunately you have family coming.(as I do)
Tomorrow is “Big Lunch” day but nobody says it has to be with the neighbours.

I was wondering how you are coping?

I answered the door today and wished I had not, street party rearranged for tomorrow. I find these functions very difficult, nice for the couples and children, not for me who will be the only solo. Yes I am going to pop in, show my face and then quietly disappear back home

I too hate this kind of thing. I just decline politely and stay indoors.

The last street party I went to was in 1953 for the coronation of Elizabeth II! I cant remember much about except stiffing my face with cakes which were a bit thin on the ground in our family.

A few years ago I was standing by my gate watching the procession for an Indian wedding further down the street and some of the guests beckoned me to come over. When they saw that I walked with a stick they kindly fetched a chair and sat me down in the garden. Then they brought me out some delicious food. I am very fond of Indian food but the drumming was a bit too much after an hour so I politely made my excuses. Indian weddings can go on for days and usually involve the front of the house being draped from roof to pavement in bright lights, wonderful outfits and delicious smells drifting around.

Dickens you're absolutely right. Important not to overthink these things.

Asparagus rolls always go down well and are super easy to make!

Aveline

The organisers won't be taking a register of who is there or not. Chances are they won't notice if you don't appear. If they ask later you could just make a vague retrospective excuse. People really don't bother as much as you seem to think they do.

I think we've been schooled to be sociable so when you believe you're not being socially amicable, you probably do think people care - or even notice - more than they actually do.

Maybe women take these things more seriously than men, I don't know. My OH would just say "no, not for me" and wouldn't bother with what others might think.

If you're already suffering from anxiety - it's really easy to over-think these situations.

The organisers won't be taking a register of who is there or not. Chances are they won't notice if you don't appear. If they ask later you could just make a vague retrospective excuse. People really don't bother as much as you seem to think they do.

Willow73

Don't stress about it - it will just increase your anxiety.

In situations like this, it's best to decide what you are going to do in advance, make a decision and stick to it, otherwise you will just continue to agonise over it.

If you really don't want to go to the party - don't go. If you're worried about what people might think, you have to realise that you can't run your life catering for the sensibilities of other people. There'll most likely be others who don't take part. If you don't want to appear anti-social, think of a good excuse - personally, I wouldn't bother - you don't owe anyone an explanation. If you're asked - "no unfortunately I will not be able to attend" should be enough...

During lockdown we enjoyed occasional sessions with glasses of wine in the garden of our block of flats. We were all glad of the company. We had a jubilee party and planted a tree for the Queen's Green Canopy.
I've circulated a brief note to say that we'll be in the garden again in the evening after the coronation if anyone wants to join us. BYOB so nothing special or any catering. I've no idea if anyone will turn up. It's up to them.
I'm sure the OP will have an OK time and no need to stay very long.
Do let us know how you got on though.