Black Dog 17

Wyllow That's a nuisance about your car, isn't it? There's always something to pay out with a car. Accepting limitations is difficult. I struggle with that, too. In my mind, I think of things I'd like to do, but then, physically, I can't. Pace yourself, do what you can, when you feel able to. Do you have your groceries delivered? Nice that your family is going to see you soon, and being in a cabin type of place sounds ideal.

SweetpeaSue Hope the knee bandage helps. Glad you've got the MH appointment in a couple of weeks. Best of luck for today. Perhaps you could ask your GP for a double appointment, so that you can talk about more than one problem.

ScaredyCat Have you ever had a steroid injection in your shoulder? I did, a couple of years ago, when my shoulder was really painful, and it certainly helped.

Doodle Have you got anything planned this weekend? The weather forecast doesn't look good, so perhaps you'll watch boats going by from your balcony. The steroids made no difference whatsoever to my legs (they're worse than before), but they did help with my Rosacea. (blood vessels, obviously)

nadateturbe Hope you have a nice time with your cousins and aunty. Are you much younger than some of us on here? I'm 64. I wondered because all my aunts and uncles have been gone for years

EllieAnne Hope the cake turns out well. Your little GS will love it. It's not pathetic to get panicked about feeding people - I'm exactly the same.

Hope all BDers manage to have a decent day - despite the miserable weather. x

Thank you for thinking of me.
Some family are coming on Sunday. It’s gs 3rd birthday . I have to make a cake. I’m very stressed about it. I find when someone else is in the house the problems show up more.
Also I’m out of practice feeding extra folk and get in a state.
How pathetic!
Sorry so many of you are struggling.
Life hurts doesn’t it

Lovely long posts and caught up.

HVDY so glad you are off the steroids and crossing fingers that it brings improvement. It must be very upsetting about SiL: I've never been close to anyone with Alzheimers. But glad that BiL has help now, goodness, I'd need it!

I love a haircut Doodle as it comes with The Natter and A Laugh. Smiled at the exact choc details.

nadateturbe lovely long post, I hope family visits dont take too much out of you tomorrow. Good to hear GP report of your practice. (DS is. about the last person to ask anything car he's more likely to need more help than me.) Another picturing the bedside table. Mine not too different. Everything "in case".

I made a note of the 2 week MH appointment, Sweetpeasue...sounds like they are monitoring things if they've said no more. Hope you get some knee relief. Hugs for the low mood, and bests for tomorrow if I don't catch you before then..

Very good advice Scardeycat......yes, good that tho the AF cant go away, constant overwhelming can. Vey sorry for that difficult shoulder tho, sounds limiting.

Wave to all however you find yourselves for best sleeps, yes Doodle I also think on Friday, its the weekend for EllieAnne* but best wishes to all reading.

I couldn't "unwind" once its got past a point...see how tomorrow goes, I wanted to do a swim every other day and the forecast is telling us all, "indoors".

Sorry I already said about my visit, repeating myself....

Scaredycat I wonder what the problem is with your shoulder. I had a shoulder impingement two years ago. I was given exercises to do, which I did partly for a couple of days, but it just suddenly got better. I know it wasn’t down to exercise. I did keep it in a homemade sling for a while.
I’m glad the AF isn’t at the front of your mind now. It’s very strange having them and I I think you cope well. Maybe feeling calmer will help, you never know.
I think you gave Wyllow3 some very good advice. You seem to have a good understanding of what she is going through..

Re GP surgery, my daughter fills a form in online too.
So many different systems in operation. We just send an email, which is treated the same as a phone call. GP rings back, usually quite quickly, and often we get an appointment , usually for that afternoon but next day at the latest. I was once asked “ would you mind coming in to see me”? lol. (obviously a new locum).
I realise how fortunate we are. I thought NI would be worse than GB.
Candy Great that you got your washing cleared, it’s never something to look forward to after a holiday.
Glad to hear your husband is a bit better. Chatting with some people is an effort and very tiring. Unless it’s my best friend, I usually prefer to meet with at least two others, so that the conversation is more than two way. I find one to one exhausting.
I think it’s difficult to stick to an exercise routine. I’m sure it’s especially difficult if you work and look after gc. Good intentions are all very well. But you probably are very active with doing everyday things. I think we can all only do our best. It’s sad for your daughter that she can’t have any more children. It must be difficult to come to terms with. I hope the funeral went ok yesterday.

Hope the tubular bandage helps Sweetpeasue. It’s good they come in different widths.
Your description of my bedside is spot on. You’ve a good memory. Honestly the top of my bedside drawers is chockablock. If I’m feeling really ill, I tidy it just in case I need a doctor. 😁
I hope you don’t wait too long for your appointments. I have been known to ring appointments departmens to enquire how long the waiting time is, and said I am free any time for a cancellation at short notice. Nothing ventured.....
Your ginger cake must be good, if your son wants another so quickly. I must look for a recipe, and try making one.
Wyllow3 thanks for exercise link, will show my husband, he has trouble with his knees.
It’s good that your physio is older and realises that age makes a difference to what you can manage.
Just read your last post. I’m sorry things are so bad. I think you have to prioritise right now. Two things food and med deliveries, and getting the car fixed. Look after these and take care of your health. Could your son maybe find a garage that would help? Maybe one of your Quaker friends? But if they can’t help, take a deep breath and tell yourself you can do this, tomorrow. Meditation could help you to focus your mind and not think so much. It’s worth trying, it works for others. Life is limited right now, but that can change quickly. Just stop and take it easy, and don’t think too far into the future. Don’t think ahead more than getting your car fixed. Tomorrow. Or the next day, if you’re still tired. Tonight , just listen to some nice music or something else you enjoy and relax and hopefully get some sleep.
HVDY I hope the legs improve now that you’re off the steroids, maybe it will take a while. Its lovely that you gave your son so much support. Honestly you're a first class mother.
Doodle your post made me laugh. I can just picture foxy at the gym.lol. I think we can excuse you the second treat as it was a much needed energy bar. Quite a few of us are feeling so good with our haircuts this week. It's so important to how you feel. Perhaps we've encouraged you Sweetpeasue, I think you were saying you would like your hair trimmed.
Apologies if I have missed replying to anyone, or anything.
I am hoping to visit my aunts and cousinstomorrow, so going to bed now.
Whiff EllieAnne and others goodnight and hope it's a peaceful one.

Get out somewhere not get put somewhere.

Every time the weekend comes around I think you you Ellie Anne . Hope the weather is nice this weekend and you can get put somewhere. Garden centre perhaps.
Whiff thinking of you too.
Hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

Sweetpeasue next time you ring your surgery and they say one condition one appointment try asking them for two appointments then, if that’s their rule play them at their own game. Glad you got the tubular bandage Hope that will give your knee some extra support.
Glad you have another MH appointment. I wonder if it’s a further assessment on whether it’s to discuss what they can do to help.
If you want to post a link e.g. from Google, when you have found what you want to copy in Google, tap in the box (bar) at the top of the screen, the txt there should then be come highlighted. Tap again and select the word copy then come into GN and in the message box tap and then select paste.
Not very clear but hope that helps.
Scaredycat I have know my hairdresser for a long time. We have a good laugh together. Yes I do have a lot of hair so it does feel good to have a haircut and stop it falling in my face.
Didn’t realise you had a problem with your shoulder. It’s so difficult if you can’t raise your arms up isn’t it. I think you and others are right about pacing myself with the physio. It all seems to be going to fast for me. By the time I go to bed at night my hand aches a lot. Hopefully I will get more of an idea about how I’m doing when I se the consultant Monday. So pleased you are coping better with the AF now. Good to hear the ADs are helping.
Wyllow glad your son is still in touch. Be lovely to see them in August. Cabin in woodland sounds nice. Be nice to be able to meet up with them from you home so that you can pace yourself as to how much or how little you do.
Glad the counselling went well but what a pain about your car.
Sounds a very complicated test. Hope you find somewhere they can do it.
Don’t give up hope you can get through this. Sometimes the future looks bleak when we think long term. Try for a while accepting a slower pace and with the new meds regime hopefully your back will improve and you can gradually introduce more activities and social things.
HVDY Foxy will have to start working out in the gym if he keeps eating like that. Glad your son has managed to maintain a relationship with his girls mum but sounds like he’s in a better place now.
I’ve had a good cut this time it feels lighter. Had quite a lot off as it’s been 3 months since the last cut.
I bet that baby has an outfit for every day of the month. It’s hard to resist buying clothes for babies isn’t it.
Glad you are off the steroids now. Do you think they helped at all?
So pleased your brother has finally accepted he needs help with your SIL. Looking after someone with Alzheimer’s can wear you down and he’s more likely to cope better if there’s some help in the mornings.
nadateturbe glad your DH is feeling a bit better. You are right to have some time for yourselves and not worry about the housework. Hope your visit to family goes well tomorrow.
I had a chocolate biscuit with coffee for lunch. An energy bar covered with chocolate mid afternoon and a square of chocolate after dinner 😲
It’s my BIL who has the PVF but yes very similar to ME/CFS. Fortunately he is retired so no pressure to overdo things. He just needs to learn to cut back on his own expectations of what he can do.
My ideal nighttime treat, a backscratch and chocolate 🤣

Sorry-phone slipped and sent too early.
HVDY Just tried it on and its more comfortable than this other firm elasticated thing I got last time. Not sure what it will look like underneath my jeans though! Or even if jeans go over the top. My flesh bulges at top as obvs meant to be snug. Never had thin legs unfortunately. Think cos I'm short 5-3" so short limbed. If it doesn't fit under jeans I dont know what I'll do. Tended to fall into dull routine with clothes. If weather gets warmer could wear dress.Not looking likely this weekend. Oh October is a long wait when youve already completed course of steroids. It really is v sad about your SIL.Thank goodness brother has relented and got a carer in.
Scaredycat We're all falling apart aren't we? Once had impingement in both shoulders so understand how debilitating shoulder probs are.Its amazing how much you use shoulders - even pegging washing out-if you still peg washing out. I'm so glad the ADs have helped with the AF a bit. Its when we get anxious that it sets off, or makes other problems worse.
Nadateturbe You made me laugh about the chocolate squares and back-scratcher. Just imagined your side of bed. Rich Teas, choc back-scratcher, book, meds. My side of bed is mounting up too. As of today added Aveeno now plus tubular bandage. 🤭Glad you got to your art class on Wed. You'll feel better now about leaving when you need to. My book class has finished until next term. Oh I had Drs call on Tuesday about knee(only 1 thing allowed to discuss). Is sending me for MRI. Also got letter from musculoskeletal clinic saying I'm on waiting list.
Wyllow What a disappointment about the garage and having to find another to do the blasted test. All you need when you have so much else on. I count myself lucky in that way and take things for granted. I'm sure Id be lost without DH seeing to car stuff.
Glad your counselling went well. I'm sorry you're finding it so hard to accept limitations. Its good that family have arranged the log cabin for their little visit. I'm sure the children will love it.

Bowel not good today. We went further afield for much needed bedroom curtains. Then had to rush back. Heavens opened , huge downpour. Made another Ginger Cake for son today( DH always gsts some too 🤭). Still can't lift tiredness and low mood. MH called today with another appt in 2 weeks time with same person.
Hope everyone is ok. Doodle*EllieAnne Whiff*Candy and all BD. X

HVDY Got the tubular bandage for knee today.

sorry, garage said they cannot do vital test not can!!

Hugely frustrated and exhausted as counselling fine but the garage after charging for tests said they can do the vital test an unusual one so sent my car home late afternoon..

by which time I was crawling up wall with forcing myself to keep awake..

(its all computer stuff and takes ages) - I have to find another garage that does a smoke test down air feed pipes to detect small holes or cracks for fed up back to nearly square 1 and ££ worse off.

This is the sort of thing I really feel its hard to do alone - like someone could have stayed up for cars etc, deliveries, collecting and dropping off, ususal stuff, getting med, shopping for food...

some I can over time get sorted like food and meds deliveries - simple stuff but its all about precious time and rest,

counselling in some ways simple - had sort of worked it out - if I keep pressing against the need to rest and the need to spend time even if painful to work through feelings, will get very ill indeed

it means accepting a very limited life and not seeing many in person including family but making the most of it - try to go to regular quaker zooms and do those relaxations (as you mention Scardeycat - btw when family comes to area they are staying in holiday place - woodland cabin stuff - not mine)

- all the stuff should have done in January but I had to learn the hard way looking for magic solutions for coping with the end of a marriage like mine

I wish I'd had the hindsight

but didnt.

back later to share on other's days - sorry ground to a halt just now xx

Wyllow3 How did the counselling go? What's happening wth your car?
nadateturbe Son1 lived with us, on and off after he split with his ex - the last time was for 3 years (so we had his girls here every other w/e too, they had their own room). He finally moved last October, to live alone (he'd never lived alone), and his girls are now 3 streets away from him.
ScaredyCat My shoulder clicks, too, and is very stiff. I find that aqua aerobics helps (although I haven't been for acouple of weeks now). I'd love another cat (or 2), but we have to think of the cost, also that a cat might outlive us (we're 64 and 65). I don't really think I'd find one that would be as lovely as Mr Cooper. I'm glad the ADs are helping you.
SweetPeaSue How are you today?
EllieAnne, Nanny, Whiff and others - hope you're all ok.

DH and I met my brother and his wife, for a pub lunch (she's got Alzheimer's as you know). He's finally decided to have a carer in the mornings to help her to shower and dress. (she refuses to wash/shower, at the moment, so I don't know when she last did. He washes her hair once a week. Someone at the day centre asked me "How's your mum?" They meant my SIL, that's how old she looks . She's just 70. Hope all BDers have a relaxing evening x

Sweetpeasue forgot to say, Glad you made it to your book club, and got chatting to that nice lady.

Hello all.
SweetPeaSue- it’s only my right shoulder that’s playing up a bit. It hurts with certain movements and crunches and cracks sometimes too. Mostly upwards movements like putting the washing out or like you said over the head things.I,have physio to do but like Doodle it seems to make it worse. Giving it a rest for a couple of days. Our surgery is part of a group now but agree with Wyllow depends how they are managed- it’s still the same amount of Doctors and Patients.
Hope tomorrow goes well.
HVDY- you must be so pleased to be off the steroids, sorry your legs still cause you so much discomfort.
Son1 sounds a kind person he didn’t deserve such nasty treatment.
Foxy will be moving in with you soon. Have you had any more thoughts of another cat?
I,m ok thanks- the ADs have helped me deal with things in a much calmer way and AF although ever present doesn’t dominate my thoughts as it did. Thanks for asking.
Wyllow- you are sounding less fraught now you are home. I think your own space is very important for you. Wherever you
eventually end up living it will be home and a sanctuary for you.
A family visit will be a challenge but you,ll be in control - it’s home territory!!
Yes if the anti inflammatories enable you to do the things you love without fear the trade off is worth it. Moving more is helpful for constipation as well.
Tiredness can be overwhelming can’t it but hopefully after your counselling you can have a good rest. PJs,bed, maybe a little glass of something- hope it goes well.
Hope the weekend is as good as it can be for everyonexx

Good afternoon everyone, I’m sure I’ll never catch up on all the posts, where do you all get the energy!?
I made it to my art chat on Wednesday, it was nice to see everyone., although I got tired. The organiser apologised that we were stopping after an hour, but on our group WhatsApp I said it was lovely to see everyone, and an hour was just nice for me. So I can leave early next time without having to explain.
Husband isn’t as bad, we are just doing minimum housework. And leaving some energy for enjoyable things. We had to go out yesterday as husband had eye and hearing tests. And I hope to visit aunts and cousins tomorrow so taking it easy today. Just a short walk and easy pizza and salad for evening meal.
Doodle Thanks for your kind words. I try, but writing is not the same as face to face, I’m not great at expressing things on paper. Some of you are really good. I take ages to write letters to friends.
Anyway, chocolate.....I decided to try to do without chocolate for a whole day, managed to teatime yesterday, but I’m afraid I didn’t made it past lunch time today. 😁 However I have cut out the breakfast square (quite large square).
I smiled at your deflation post. I was always very careful to say I am 5’1 and a half inches. When you’re quite small every inch counts! Sometimes husbands should say nothing!😊
I’m glad you’ve had a good sleep and feel a bit better. Funerals are draining at the best of times, and as you say, any activity above the norm is difficult. When my aunt died I couldn’t even get through visiting her family the week before, and didn’t make it to the funeral. So five hours was quite an achievement. No wonder you slept afterwards.
Well done on the walk. I’m sure you both felt good to know you could still manage that distance.
I too got to the hairdresser this week. Isn’t it amazing how much better it makes you feel? Mine was a forty minute drive away (husband drove), but it was worth it.
I, too would go easy on the physio. I have never been able to do all the physio that was recommended for anything.
Do what you are comfortable with, is my advice.
I was on the M.E. website and PVF is very similar to CFS, and your brother really would need to follow the pacing that CFS suffered are advised to follow, or he may take a very long to recover, perhaps be left with CFS.
Apparently having Covid may well have exacerbated the condition of CFS for many. (Wyllow3 could this apply to you?)
HVDY what a really nice time you had on Wednesday. Your family all sound lovely and so close to each other. You are indeed lucky, but as I’ve said before, so are they. I’m sure it was a great support to your son when he was going through the split with his ex.
Sweetpeasue Congratulations! You got through all the palaver of going to pharmacists. But really, it’s ridiculous that our NHS has got to this stage. At least you got the result, a doctor’s appointment. Maybe we should all go to the pharmacist first with our ailments, and then when we ring the doctor we can say the pharmacist said I need to see you! But you have your appointment. I would mention the knee as well, it really needs attended to, maybe a scan sooner rather than later. (I think you said you are on a list for one?)
I read that opiums can cause itching, but so can lots of other things. I often get itchy during the night, and I only very occasionally take codeine. I keep a back scratcher in the drawer (beside the chocolate )

Back later. Hope everyone is ok.x

I think it might be me put long term on anti inflammatories HVDY and yes, then, and sometimes the lansoprazole or omeprazole that goes with can all lead to constipation, and other meds already cause this. But it's worth the payoff if my confidence about the worst of the back pains can be alleviated. I was sort of living in fear for 8 weeks ad enough other stuff going on as per.

blimey, tired today - want a day in bed as brain totally fuzzed - wondering where to dredge energy up for counselling - but got the car at the garage and so have to keep going until done.

SweetpeaSue What a rigmarole with your GP surgery! At least you've got that appointment tomorrow. Does wearing a knee support bandage thing help at all? I think taking anti-inflammatories is a good idea (although don't they cause constipation?) I'm off the steroids, see the Neurologist in October. My legs still get the burning sensation.

Doodle Did you have much cut off? I hate going to the hairdresser's but feel better when it's newly done.

ScaredyCat The baby has got lots of clothes . Son1 gets on better with his ex now (he's very forgiving), but knows what she's like and how very manipulative she is, and doesn't let her take advantage of his good nature. Thankfully, we never see her. Foxy is extremely well-fed. 6 chicken drumsticks last night . How are you getting on?

Wyllow3 Hope your counselling goes well today, and that your back is alright.

How are all other BDers? x

Just feel our surgery is strictly playing by the rules (one condition-one appt)
since other leading GP retired. Perhaps new leading GP is having rough time taking it all on.

It's all down to how good management is of same limited resources, isn't it, what we are all up against all the time - patchy, varies a lot.

Wyllow I admit, I dont know much about all this. But I dont understand how the government thinks that helping one surgery offload patients onto another helps. Especially if the other surgery offloads/directs patients onto mine. Its just re positioning patients with no actual extra access. Sorry, I dont mean to be political on this thread, but I'm just getting the 'runaround' as will be others.

Scaredycat I think younger physios fail to recognise its much more valuable to start by giving a some very limited modest things to do. Mine is in her 60's as well as having been trained up to do stuff like massage to release pain and tension.

It's not enough to understand functionality and what exercise might help, you have to look at the individual you are asking to do stuff!!!!

Sweetpeasue
Yes, under the new national system, GP practices are now grouped together in Primary Care Provider groups. Went into it when I was a governor on MH board.

So some facilities are shared, including offering weekend provision or specialist provision at one of the practices in the group. But I guess any organising is only as good as those managing it. It helps to be in a city I'm afraid as still all local.

OK phone call with DS. Am much more modest in my expectations - went fine, but not expecting emotional support over a warm "keeping in touch" or them coming to visit.

(But the whole family is coming to the area last week in August)

Scaredycat Sorry if Ive missed it but what has happened to your shoulders? You dont realise how much you use a certain part of your body until you cant. You must have difficulty dressing and such-putting things on/off over your head.
Yes, I'm getting annoyed with our surgery at present. Just been reading-yawn- something government brought in last October for Primary Care Providers, this Extended Access which my appt with other surgery falls into. Think my surgery will use it wherever they can to offload own patient appts. Ah well, at least I have one now. Hope you sleep well too Scaredycat. X

Wyllow- I,m sorry you had such a distressing night with so many thoughts whizzing round in your head. It seems that your ex knew just what buttons to push to hurt you. One thing that is a huge truth is that none of it was your fault- you are gradually processing it all but it will take time. Be proud of yourself you dealt with all that turmoil and managed to visit the gym later. Hope tonight is more peaceful and that you have a good counselling session tomorrow.
Doodle- I love that feeling after a haircut - your head feels so light. You have lovely thick hair I believe so it must feel really good.
I sometimes think physios don’t realise mature limbs don’t always cooperate!! I have some exercises for my shoulder and have the same problem . Brilliant that you had a nice walk today- that’s further than you,ve been for ages . You earned your rest when you got home. Good that you have an appt next week.
HVDY- what a lovely day you had - your little Grandaughter must have a wardrobe bursting at the seams!! You have raised a family to be proud of . I,m glad your eldest son is feeling strong again it must have been sad to see him suffer.
How’s Mr Fox?
SweetPeaSue- oh that was a bit of a trek to see 2 pharmacists! What a lovely girl at the first one- you needed a touch of kindness.

You seem to have to fight for everything but at least have an appt on Sat.
You did well to walk on the beach - it’s not that easy sometimes is it but you are wise to try and keep your knee moving. Wyllow has given you some helpful advice I think.
Hope you sleep well tonight.
Nadaturbe- glad you popped in- take care and rest wellx
Goodnight to all those that post and those that just visit.x

Nadateturbe Hope you have a good rest tonight. x
HVDY Hope your legs are still not burning on a night. Sorry if you've said but will it be long now for your next appt after steroids finished?
Our AC can go through so much in relationship breakdowns cant they? So glad son 1 is happy now and he has managed after that awful ex. Its so hard when they're going through things in a relationship as sometimes (speaking from own experience) they need to realise themselves what's happening.
Doodle I'm just so pleased you managed to do that walk to that particular bench. Something like that gives you hope and encouragement so much. I really need my hair cut too its making me feel so bad but I know I have to do it.
Knee is pretty awful atm. Maybe the walk made worse. Something is moving inside when I try to bend it and feels like it will lock if it goes past a certain movement. If on slight incline or coming downstairs. I have to keep it straight or take stairs one at a time. Seems one thing after another. But you've been there, I know.
Wyllow Thankyou for exercises. It was thoughtful of you. Wish I could do links n stuff. Will need knee to be more flexible and out of pain to try any just now. Going to take some anti-inflammatries in case inflammation after walking. I know last MRI 5yr ago said meniscus not in line, though it seemed to resolve, some time after taking steroids for polymyalgia.
Really hoping your back strengthens with swimming. So good you have good physiotherapist.

Take care everyone. EllieAnne Hoping you are ok and coping. x