Black Dog 17

Beautiful baby. All my grandsons where born with black imagine my son's youngest did to. But none of the 4 I know keep it . It turned various shades of brown.

Wyllow and the rest who are having a really hard time at the moment. Hope the pictures under will make you smile. It's my daughter's 40th tomorrow. When she was 21 her cake was a disaster I put 6 eggs in instead of 3 but it was the year her dad died. Wasn't up here for her 30th so made her a cake today . I know it will taste lovely as made it before.

Before I forget Wyllow the latest painting you posted was very beautiful and touching.

Sounds like my walk yesterday Scaredycat lovely cool breeze. Not exhausting like humid great. I had similar visit. Met my two aunts for coffee. One has memory problems, don't think she knows who I am. But no one has actually said what she suffers from. As you say bittersweet.
Shattered now, on bed. Not sure I'll make art tomorrow. But thankful I made today.
Wyllow3 Sounds like you've had a positive day at the gym, and getting hair done always gives you a lift. The style sounds nice.
HVDY you're such a thoughtful mother.

HVDY So lovely HVDY. Dear little precious soul. So pleased for you. She will have a very special fun DGM in yourself. Your 'DIL' is lucky too.
Scaredycat Lovely photo, thankyou. Had hedgehogs in garden though never a fox and our road of houses just over road from fields. Glad you got a walk this morning. I hope your visit this afternoon wasmt too sad but its so hard to see the changes in one you know and care for. Sure your visit will be much appreciated.

Restarting post because Aldi causing probs again.

Wyllow3 Son seems very happy. I hope, in time, they'll move in together (he's got a new mortgage on a place near us, 45mins drive from her place, so things will need to be sorted out somehow), but they're getting on well. Yes, my hair is longer I think - so is my husband's . You're right in going to the gym, and it IS your place. People like that are far too complex to be involved with. GDs' mum cannot keep a man - she's had a few boyfriends who have been on and off a lot - as she's unpredictable, violent, hot/cold very quickly, and very manipulative and toxic (can you tell how I feel about her )

Ooo, I forgot the hair, HVDY (and sorry DS went through that).

Shortish 3/4/5 inch shaped nicely layers, naturally wavy with side fringe, needs a cut every 7 weeks, no colour its white/ash blonde naturally never went sort of the dull grey route. Yours sounds a bit longer by choice?

Oh my, what a lovely picture HVDY...just on gas and air too and she was so nervous..you did exactly right! I hope it helps build her confidence about herself....and things are as well as can be with her and your son.

It sounds like the cooler weather Scardeycat helped energy, but a bittersweet afternoon.

Everything you commented on was...*spot on* including stuff on Ex. (ie anger not loss and putting further behind me)

Amazing picture there - so close, and in daylight, its like the fox is saying "my place".

Counselling was lighter tho good, went to hairdresser quiet as brain busy thinking next move through, which was to go to the gym nearby to prove to myself it was MINE. When I walked in regular staff were all extra warm, big smiles, its got about, clear what their feelings are and as far as I know he hasn't joined so good so good.

Wyllow3 People like your ex cannot ever be reasoned with - Narcissist, Psychopath, Sociopath, whatever - they are troubled people and incapable of maintaining any relationship. GDs' mum is the same and made our son's (son1) life a misery for years. He had years of counselling after a breakdown, because of her. Now, he knows not to get "drawn in" by her, and they get on well (apart from when she's been drinking and then she's awful). What did you have done with your hair? I'm getting my mop chopped tomorrow (hate going to the hairdresser, but needs must). It's shoulder-length and the layers are too long.

ScaredyCat Love the photo. That fox looks well-fed and healthy. I saw my brother and his wife, who has Alzheimer's today. It's a terrible illness. Nice to see her, but she'd have forgotten by the time they got home.

How has everyone else been today? x

Mum, Dad, big sister and baby all well. Mum had gas and air, no stitches. Took chocolates and bouquet for Mum, wine and a book for Dad, cuddly toy for baby, card and cash for big sis (can't leave her out). Didn't outstay our welcome. Had a cuddle but she stayed asleep. Back later

Nipping in to read and have to say what a fantastic photo Scaredycat. Thanks for posting. Love it!

Hope this is right

HVDY- I am imagining your joy when you meet your new little grandchild- such a special feeling. Enjoy every minute with them today.
One evening a couple of years ago we looked into our garden( the size of a postage stamp! ) and saw the fox and a neighbours cat sitting very close to each other quite companiably . I took a photo if I can find it I,ll post it.
SweetPeaSue- so happy you got to the beach - better than any medicine. Every time I read about your experiences of disbelief at your condition I can’t believe how you have been treated. The way you manage every day to deal with it all is extraordinary.
Hope today is kind to you and that the GP listens.
Wyllow- what a selfish but sounds a bit calculated thing your Ex did going to your Gym. Good that the management took your concerns seriously .
The more he behaves in such a way must reinforce you have done the right thing. Try not to let him get to you and if you can let go of the grieving . Hope the counsellor helped you this morning.
Yes a visit with your Dr Sis is just what you need- Sister time is special. Talking or writing down what you want to say to your family but low key sounds sensible but they need to know how you feel- they love you.
Nadaturbe- hope you are having a better day.

Today is much cooler here and went for a walk this morning - lovely to feel the cool breeze. This afternoon we are visiting our old friend who has Alzheimer’s and his wife. Always bittersweet but love them very much.

Love to all

I'm hoping that you will have a delightful time with the new much dark haired baby and that mum is doing OK, HVDY. and that family relationships are strengthened x

Reasonable sleep and got counselling then the hairdresser so won't be confronting any gym stuff unless energy left..

Sweetpeasue he was clearly hoping to encounter me because of the exact time he went. He would check out the car park and know. To what end? Classic narcissist behaviour would be to try and remind you are not free of them but equally in his own way missing me and checking in for any information. Neither welcome because I have been warned by my counsellor and psychologist he will never be able to sit down and reflect in a benign way. Which is sad, isnt it? OTOH it's taken some years to sit down with first Ex1 but he was always a benign person just a man with problems of his own. When we last talked he realised how he could have done things differently at a crucial point.

Benign honesty is what makes the best world go round, huh?

Best days all back in later.

SweetpeaSue Yes, saw the cubs. That was years ago. This one now is only young. Didn't see it last night, but when I looked out of the window at midnight, the food had gone. Hope you had a pain-free night.

Up too early (awoken only by my bladder at 5.50. Back later x

Hope you all have a peaceful night.xx

Wyllow Being around the greenery, flowers and away from other distractions is so good for us I think. Lovely you have nice gardener too.
I'm so sorry and quite annoyed that your ex is appearing in your gym and at the time you go too. Why is he doing this - do you think he's trying to frighten you? Or if frighten too strong, to annoy you or just to let you know he's around?
I sense you have been thrown by this Wyllow in lots of ways. As you say, a weird reaction is relief to stop the grieving part. Sorry if Ive not got that right. I'm so sorry youve been unsettled in this way. You know his thinking is erratic because of, partly his MH, and his need to control. Please try to ignore his attempts to unsettle if that is his motivation. Oh yes, you are believed . Such an immensely important thing.
HVDY Oh you saw the cubs as well, thats so special. 😍 You must have been spellbound. You will be so looking forward to tomorrow.
Nadateturbe We once saw a fox in some woods while on holiday. It was just walking along the middle of the path in no hurry at all, as we turned into it. It is extra special if you haven't been for a walk and then you take the time and motivation to do it. Sometimes we dont think it will help, even when we're able, but it's nearly always worth it. I do think it lifts us a bit. Hope you rest tonight.
Thinking of you Scaredycat and EllieAnne and all BDs and readers. Hoping you have a peaceful night.

EllieAnne Thank you. Hope you've been ok.

SweetpeaSue To not be believed must have been so awful. I hope that woman is an EX friend (I've got one of those). I'm so glad you managed to go for a walk. How lovely to be near to a beach, and to see some Sanderlings (I had to Google to see what they look like. Pretty little birds.

Wyllow3 Baby has a lot of black hair. Son sent me a few photos via WhatsApp (I'm unable to post any). I texted DIL, told her how proud we are that she did so well, so naturally.
Hearing that your ex had been to your gym must have been unsettling. Good of the Manager to let you know. Hope all goes well with the counselling tomorrow. Glad you got into your garden and that it's looking nice. The weather has been more bearable today, thankfully, hasn't it?

Hope all BDers have had a more comfortable day (cooler) today and that it's a restful night x

I have mixed feelings which is not surprising. Part of me wants the police to get him or something like that as he's still around being as he is to other women (I had enough evidence last year for a charge of coerce abuse but chose to appear to keep level headed in order to get the divorce through - and because its partly as he has MH problems) but it remains evidence on a USB stick and sound recordings) and a weird part of me relieved to stop the grief bit.

but backing of the gym people was so substantial -ie -I was taken seriously and believed.

That was a treat, seeing the little cubs HVDY.

Sweetpeasue I'm glad you managed a beach walk. I'm sure it lifted you. But you poor thing, soo sorry about the upset bowels today, sounds dreadful. You did well having a walk. Hope you get some kind of help tomorrow.
Wyllow3 Oh dear! That call must have been a real shock and after having an enjoyable time in the garden. I can understand how you feel, I hope your counsellor can offer some help tomorrow.

HVDY oh my I am so thrilled to hear your news. Wow a good weight and a natural birth - I hope that gives her some confidence, she DID it! You must really be looking forward to tomorrow and what a nice day today. Deserved. You help them so much.

(No, its wasn’t terrifying being in. It was a relief. I was very ill at first but over time It was at first v challenging as in there being a sort of pecking order and sometimes people would try things on but I came to be trusted as someone who did stick up for themselves, who would listen and not gossip.

nadateturbe Your description of what its like day on day is so vivid and real. I can picture it exactly. I think the old fashioned word genuine ‘lassitude’ sometimes fits so well. I was interested to hear what you can engage in: so tough to value doing so little and of course having the consequences as regards family and friendships. But above all, this
”Unfortunately I rarely know until the morning or even the hour before if I am able to make it.” The unpredictability. Hooray for the walk round the block. Yes, a nice cooler breeze.

Nice to see you in EllieAnne.

Sweetpeasue you say, “I had one friend (we weren't that close--but had 'known' her 20 yrs) and she wasnt happy with my story from the beginning as she didn’t believe Drs could do any wrong” …Thats the worst bit, not being believed. Well for some, it’s scary to think that, so they back off. As well as back off from the emotions that go with. Hooray for that one GP.
I’m so glad you got a walk on the beach! You need to do that anytime you possibly can..something about the sounds of waves, the smells, and the calm infinity of the horizon.
‘
I had to get up early as gardener due and felt grumpy exhausted and all too much and so on and worn out whats the point in everything etc this morning. …….But in the end I went out with the gardener and got involved in just bits and bobs. In fact enjoyed it in the end. Then felt worn out but satisfied. Garden looks great. It was a bit like garden therapy just a shame I cant do it myself - but she is so nice.

But then the gym phoned. Ex had been in there yesterday, .........exactly when I always go - except for that Quaker meeting. He cant afford to join the gym but occupied himself for some time "making enquiries".

What was nice was that the manager had rung to see if I had any legal means of blocking him (like a restraining order) but of course not - only his mum has that.

But I’ve been in a sort of state of shock since couldn't sleep tho I feel calmer now after afternoon watching rubbish Tv but resting my body and occupying my mind.

I even fantasised Ex would come knocking.

It also took me back to February when I was thinking of moving to be close to family - aka escape bid and everything “moving house’ (after that another kind of escape)…it must seem strange to BD’s that one day I am howling missing him and another scared.

Not total imagination/catastrophising tho- sometimes people like him turn to another "supply" and when that fails, try to return to the past one.

But guess what thoughts are of fleeing returned..(but I cant and it's not necessarily a good idea even if I was well enough to move with all these ups and downs.).

(Counselling tomorrow morning and feel must make every effort atm to getaway to D sis in a few weeks time and yes, put my family in the picture but a low key acceptable way.)

HVDY Sounds a really nice day for you HVDY, starting at 400am with lovely news. I love Owls! They are such beautiful mysterious looking birds. Heavens, holding a Python! So brave. Do right to keep distance from son's rash at present. Ah it will be so lovely to see the little baby tomorrow. ☺️
Nadateturbe Thankyou so much. It means more than you know to have someone believe in me. Your pkst meant the world to me. I had one friend (we weren't that close--but had 'known' her 20 yrs) and she wasnt happy with my story from the beginning as she didnt believe Drs could do any wrong. It was a terrible blow when she firmly distanced from me without any explanation. One sis didnt believe my predicament from start though has come round now. Even sons thought I must be imagining it but I do understand their thinking. I was in situation that I was forced to put on a front of trust to Drs at appts, all the while knowing that I wasnt told the whole truth and seeing how it was covered. There was no-one who would believe me apart from one GP, who, in the end before my Hyster/Laparos wrote a letter to that Gynaecologist saying she trusted me and my belief about his colleagues covering up. It was v scary to let him open that letter. Better not say further.
It has been a literal life-saver finding BD friends here.
Glad you managed to have a small walk this morning. It has been cooler today. I hope you manage your visit to aunts tomorrow. It must be so v hard to ration your energy. Have you been to your art class lately?

Today has been a mixture of bad bowel pain come from nowhere. Started early with low tum pain going into back and down both legs then diarrhea. Repeat throughout day 6 times. No explanation. Bowel p replacing Bladder P. Ringing GP tomorrow.
Good thing is managed a 20 min walk( risky with knee but coped) on beach! Tum settled so just went for it. Beautiful expanse of dramatic sky and dark and light grey clouds bubbling through deep blue. Felt like Id gone to heaven after such a long time of anxiety. 2 adult sanderlings with 2 tiny babies.

Hope everyone has managed a decent day or at least has a little part of it that was good. x

nadateturbe Yes, she brought the cubs, but none of them came into the house, and we never saw her, or her babies again.

Taken from the RSPCA website -
Foxes and cats live alongside each other in towns and cities and they're both active at night. The low number of reports of foxes attacking cats shows that most cats aren't at risk from foxes.

Researchers have watched the interaction between foxes and cats using night-vision binoculars. They found the animals either ignored each other, the foxes were chased away or acted nervous around the cats.

Just a quick warning about feeding foxes. You have be very careful my friend didn't come to visit me as planned. She feeds foxes but one attacked one of her 4 cats. He had most of the side of his face torn off and 2 large puncture wounds on his side. Luckily the vet managed to operate but don't know if he will keep his sight in the one eye.

Hope I haven't upset anyone but thought you should know.

Gosh, I didn't know they were so friendly. Did you see the cubs HVDY?.

Congratulations Hvdy. Enjoy your new granddaughter.