Very embarrassing problem

Ahh darling - suffering all those years - get yourself to the gp, get referred and get help!
Help is out there - please go get some you must help yourself - sending so much love xxx

You can, ExDancer. However, once you come out of Tena sized Pant pads, they tend to be big and bulky. The Pants are more comfortable but if you have to change them, you have to take your clothes off which can be awkward for those who find it difficult to dress.

Thankfully I haven’t suffered from childbirth-related problems as I had an emergency c section, but I’m sure all the ladies who do have problems would say they would rather have the problem and the child than not have the problem or the child. I suffered from severe post natal depression which has never gone away so am on permanent medication, but my 38 year old child is unbelievably precious to me, far more so than perfect mental health.

biglouis these injuries in childbirth, hweever awful for those who suffer, are few and far between. Bodies are prone to malfunctions no matter what you choose.

My single daughter, suffered a relative minor (thankfully) disability after a car accident. Five years of surgery, three years of physio and a lifetime needing kitchen aids to open bottles and tins and paying for decorating because she cannot safely climb a ladder,

Not as embarrassing as this ladies problem, but being single and childless cannot protect you from everything.

Threads like this make me glad that I chose never to have children. The human reproductive system needs a lot of improvement. Such a pity we cant give more priority to that than building bloody robots.

I have often wondered why we can't get a pad for poo, and seeing how widespread the problem is, it looks like someone's missing a business opportunity here.

My sympathy, I have this too after bowel cancer surgery

I am so glad I posted about this. Even though there are billions of us on this planet we can still feel that we are the only one with some issue. I never expected so many replies, thanks to all of you who shared their experiences, and for lots of valuable advice. Also I realise that I could be worse ! At 73 years old I don't think I would go for surgery unless the problem worsens, but I must get off my ( long suffering) butt- sorry I couldn't resist that one, and see a doctor.
Although, I know it's true what some of you say, that if you've given birth how can you feel embarrassed about showing your nether regions, I find as I get older I've become increasingly more cringe-y about those kind of examinations. When I was younger I never gave it a thought. It's not only a female thing either, my OH got very hot and bothered about showing the doctor his piles !

Just so amazing that so many of us have shared similar problems. This is so widespread and yet never talked about openly. A big thank you to Kittypaws for her original post. I shall be trying lots of the tips mentioned by other g'netters except for the Immodium as I also have diverticular disease so do not want to be constipated.

Buy a kegel8 machine. 40 minutes every day I sit and read a book while the machine works on strengthening my pelvic floor. Hasn't solved al my problems, but reduced leakage a lot

Vaginal HRT can do a lot to improve muscle tone ….. it doesn’t get absorbed systemically but can help keep pelvic structures stronger . Consult doctor.

Witzend

I do hope you find a solution, OP.

But why, when someone says they’ve got an embarrassing problem, do some people always say there’s nothing to be embarrassed about - as if you shouldn’t be? Many of us always will be when it comes to such things - I don’t see that anyone should feel apologetic about it. Pretty normal, if you ask me.

Which reminds me, a colleague once had a very trying ‘bottom’ problem, and was dreading her visit to the proctologist. Straightaway he said something like, ‘I know you’re probably embarrassed but bottoms are my business - I look at bottoms every single day of my working life, so do please just relax.’
And she did. More or less.

Problem is though, it's not necessarily the type of pooh you have, if it is coming also out of your vagina, as well, it's a far worse problem than not being able to hang on, as it will just come through there, regardless of whether you need to go, which can then lead to infections in the vagina and potentially bladder infections. It is generally called either a Recto-Vaginal or Ano -Vaginal Fistula
.
Mine began with an abscess, in 1998, and was mis-diagnosed by Gynae for several years, but after 24 surgeries I am now really quite disabled just because I didn't find the right surgeon until the last one, in 2010. As she put it "What have they done to you? - I'm sorry, it really is a mess'

When this happens, and I could pass it through 4 places at one point - it's just terrible .... and exceedingly embarrassing!

Aww, *Eddiecat, that much be awful for you?

I love the 'bottoms' bit, always makes me wonder why after surgery, my back hurts more than any surgical wound? I suspect that once in theatre I must be put in positions I haven't ben able to get into since I was a toddler!

This thread makes me grateful for the internet and also the anonymity… thank you to everyone and their wonderful advice and re assurance, we’ve all suffered after childbirth and I am 66!! Go ladies 🥳

Ps. Should add that a real concern is the bowel leakage causing a UTI. Even with the front to back constantly in mind. I take d-mannose every day as it stops the e coli attaching to the walls of the bladder. It helped me out for the last year but recently had one which I saw on my NHS results didn’t have e coli but a different bug. The e coli is the most common cause of UTIs.

Yes, all familiar . Had two anterior repairs to “hold everything up”. However as the years went on leakages of urine occurred ever more commonly and then about 7 years ago the bowel side began to leak. Move bowels , wipe as clean as possible, go for a walk or do housework and then need to wipe that area again. Keep visiting toilets just to check. Went on a dairy free, no coffee, no Prosecco, wine diet advocated by someone who tested me for food intolerances and I lived in hope for 3 months but to no avail. Went to a bladder and bowel clinic but although the nurses were lovely the only help offered was to sit appropriately on the toilet by putting your feet on some kind of potty stool. I make do with an upside down wash bowl which is kept in thebathroom. They also suggested the anti diarrhoea tablets but really didn’t need anything to cause constipation. They also suggested trying those plugs but honestly I couldn’t face them. Also I have urine leaks so wear Tena (longer ones and thicker). One look at the toilet and it happens or turning a tap on! I have oats, soya milk and live yoghurt (kefir and 0 % fat Greek yoghurt) every day. Saw it was suggested that the sweetener in diet tonic could make things worse so will monitor that. This thread is useful and to think I’m not alone when I venture out fully equipped.

Sorry to say this but it is comforting to know I’m not alone.

Continence pads that you can buy over the counter are specifically designed for urinary incontinence although many use for bowel incontinence.
There are other ways to manage faecal incontinence. I suggest contacting your GP and ask him to refer you to the Continence Nurse Advisor.

There's a product called Wype" that might help people. Its better than using wet wipes which clog up the sewage pipes. You put it on toilet paper and it doesn't make it tear like water does.

I have problems sometimes and I have had to make a food diary of what I eat so I can change my diet.

How refreshing to be able to discuss things like this so openly. I’ve suffered with constipation for years and also have a prolapse which I think I caused by straining to poo. I also have a rectocele and have to splint to make sure I empty my bowels. I was referred to a pelvic floor advanced physiotherapist who has been amazing! I do pelvic floor exercises three times a day and try not to strain. My prolapse is improving…
It was so refreshing to be able to discuss ‘poo’ problems so openly with her. Why are we so uptight about these things! Thank goodness for Gransnet 👍.

What a great thread. Thank you to everyone who has shared their experiences. I first noticed symptoms about 4 years ago when I “exploded “ in the middle of the street abroad. Looking back I believe that it was triggered by stress. What I realised was A life changing event was evolving. This continued through lockdown, separation from my partner as we got stuck in different countries and leading onto a total and ghastly relationship breakdown.
During the worst times I would find myself dashing to the loo at least 15 times every morning. Sometimes triggered by a text pinging into my phone. Often not making it. Going shopping before 11am was impossible.
2 years ago I finally saw my doctor and had a colonoscopy. I’m still awaiting a proctorgam. I don’t think that this will show up anything wrong. I’m advised to take up to 6 Imodium a day. I believe that it is stress related. But I will certainly try some of the solutions suggested here.

While we are confessing - I recently started trans-anal irrigation as I have evacuatory dysfunction. Some friends know I have a "problem" but only one or two know the details. My poor husband knows far more about my bowels than I would choose but I have to talk to someone!
Somehow we all need to get over this embarrassment - but I don't know how - it is deep rooted, perhaps because of a fear of being thought of as "dirty".
But as one bowel nurse said to me "even the queen went to the toilet".

I finally went to the doctor with this problem having suffered for about 4 years beginning in my mid sixties ( I had 2 very big babies delivered by forceps). A colonoscopy was all clear and I was prescribed Fybogel which made little difference. I asked if I could be referred to a dietician to be told that was unlikely to make any difference. So, over the past few years I have thrown the book at the problem, cutting out dairy, watching out for foods that seem to trigger (aubergine, mushroom, onion, processed food), eating at the same times daily and going to the toilet at the same time daily, doing exercises whenever I remember, using a probiotic. Things are definitely better in my seventies, but I could never forget there is a possibility of an accident. Of all the things I have done to help I think that the probiotic was most helpful, but it is probably a combination of everything.

Just to mention, nainie. I eat porridge most days and it doesn’t work for me. I do enjoy it though, so shall continue eating it.

I have same problems as others on here.
It has gradually got worse over the years. Also wear pant liners most days. I seem to have bowel movements every time I have to pee, which is a tad annoying.
I have seen various doctors in the past And had a colonoscopy some years ago.
On my last g.p visit, she suggested another one, but I found it too painful and traumatic to go through again.
So, I just muddle on.
Hopefully, it won’t develop into cancer. I think and hope the problem is old age and wear and tear.
I don’t avoid certain foods, although I suppose I ought to.

So happy to see this thread and how it is empowering women to look for solutions