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Health

Forgetfulness

(48 Posts)
Aveline Mon 31-Jul-23 09:31:07

Please rebook that appointment.
V3ra. Your Dad's living situation sounds wonderful. I wish there were more supported living places throughout the country.

kittylester Mon 31-Jul-23 09:26:48

I agree with Whiff.

There is a useful tool on line (maybe Alzheimer's website) which points out the differences between normal aging and a dementia of any types.

Did you know that there are over 300 different types of dementia?

Whiff Mon 31-Jul-23 09:18:50

Parky my mom was healthy but it didn't stop her getting dementia. Please book another appointment. In the last 4 years of her life she had cancer and dementia. She was 90 when her body died. But my mom died 4 months before when she for got who she was ,where and who I was . She thought I was her mom. But the worst dementia made my mom violent. But dementia violence is caused by fear not knowing who she was or where and not knowing who I was. My mom lived with me last 18 months of here life. I couldn't put her in a home she was my mom even I'll myself I looked after her myself. And proud after mom became bedridden she didn't have a sore on her body.

Where health is concerned never put things off.

Parky Mon 31-Jul-23 09:01:45

Thank you all. My husband is 74 and had a thorough health check, including blood tests, last year. He is very healthy. We both walk and he goes to the gym too.
I have cancelled the appointment, and hope shelflife and mazgg post the outcomes of the memory clinic appointments

Luckygirl3 Mon 31-Jul-23 08:46:36

You are both doing the right thing to get him to the doctor. I hope the appointment today is helpful.

Aldom Mon 31-Jul-23 08:42:59

Shelflife

BlueBelle, I appreciate your desire to reassure Parky by suggesting that because her husband is aware of his memory loss he probably does not have Alzheimers Disease. My considerable experience with the Alzheimer's Society leads me to believe this is not necessarily the case.
If someone does show signs of dementia then getting an early assessment is the sensible way to go. If there is a problem then the sooner a diognosis is given the better! Medication is often prescribed during the early stage - if a diognosis is given when confusion is well advanced medication may not be prescribed because it is too late!
Parky , please rearrange that GP appointment. You are not alone, my DH is having memory problems and we have been to our GP - so time will tell. If my DH does have early signs of Alzheimer's Disease the sooner he receives a diognosis the better! Parky, receiving a diognosis does not open a can of worms it offers hope, a diognosis does not make a situation worse - quite the opposite it is of great benefit. I wish you and your DH well . If my DH receives a diognosis it changes nothing, quite the opposite it will offer medication that will hopefully keep symptoms at bay. Parky, please talk to your DH about that GP visit. Good luck !

I also have considerable experience with dementia and endorse the advice given by Shelflife. There are many types of dementia and with some dementia the patient has insight into their illness. Knowing that they are loosing their faculties is terrifying, hence the panic attacks.
Please take the advice to see a GP.
Make a list of the problems your husband is experiencing. It is helpful for the doctor and yourselves.
Best wishes.

Whiff Mon 31-Jul-23 06:29:08

Parky please don't cancel your husband's appointment. It's important to see his GP. He may not have the start of dementia or Alzheimer's but it may be something else. There are many conditions which effect memory. My sister in law has MS that effects her memory and gets brain fog where your mind suddenly goes blank.

I have had memory problems all my life along with pain in my legs and falls . Since 1988 many extra mobility and cognitive function issues. Only found out last year after my new neurologist had my blood genetically tested I was born with a rare hereditary neurological condition.

Any health worries should be checked out. If my friends husband hadn't been so stubborn and keep cancelling GP appointments and she had made him go he need not of died of massive heart attack as he would have been on the proper treatment and under the care of a cardiologist.

Health worries at any age should never be put of. So please see your GP.

kittylester Sun 30-Jul-23 23:12:59

I think a diagnosis of any sort of dementia has to be reported to the DVLA but a driving ban isn't automatic. The dvla ask for reports.

Mazgg Sun 30-Jul-23 22:33:54

My close friend is being seen by a member of memory clinic team next week. She is coming to the house and he has requested that I should be there along with his daughter.
His short term memory is very poor and he sleeps for hours during the day even after 8 or 9 hours sleep at night.
His main concern is that he will no longer be allowed to drive. He drives to the park every day (a distance of 1 mile) to walk his dog and meet up with other dog walkers. Without doing that I fear he will retreat into himself.

Shelflife Sun 30-Jul-23 22:04:14

That's ok BlueBelle, I know where you are coming from , no need to apologize. Hope you are ok .

BlueBelle Sun 30-Jul-23 21:40:04

Shelf-life sorry that wasn’t my intention at all I agree with what you said

V3ra Sun 30-Jul-23 21:39:55

It makes me so sad when I read that people refuse to acknowledge there is a problem and to accept any help and support.

Dad and Mum were like that during her Alzheimer's. He cared for her at home alone for several years. It nearly broke him, he was on his knees with exhaustion.
It was only when Mum had a bad fall and ended up in hospital, and social services got involved and told me to overrule them (I had power of attorney), that they had to accept help otherwise the hospital was refusing to discharge her. They loved the carers!

Mum died and he moved to be nearer us. He lives in an extra-care apartment. To start with he didn't need any support, he had his car and was completely independent.
Gradually he started struggling with fairly simple tasks, and was aware of it.
He was getting increasingly agitated and would say, "I just want to know what's going on inside my head."
His GP referred him for an MRI scan. The mental health team came to see him at home and ran through the test questions with him.
The outcome was a diagnosis of vascular dementia. No medication suitable.

That was two years ago. He had to stop driving, that was hard for him but we'd already taken his keys "just while we wait for the scan results" and never gave them back.
The on-site carers have gradually taken on more of his day to day care: medication, meals, laundry, shopping, cleaning. They accompany him to appointments if I can't take him (I'm still working).
He goes to a local private daycare centre four days a week. They pick him up and take him home.
Getting out and about, and having company, was what the mental health team strongly recommended.

Dad's 92 now and says he feels safe living in his apartment.
He's very calm and has a good quality of life.
How long for, remains to be seen. We have the annual mental health review in a week's time 🤞

BlueBelle Sun 30-Jul-23 21:37:45

Please don’t cancel the appointment because of anything I said it’s just my opinion I often worry because both my mum and her mum, my gran had Alzheimer’s so I m next in line and every time I forget something I think ‘ohh no’ but when I talk over with my friends, similar ages, we are all the same I can still beat lots of family at online games I can answer lots of quiz answers although sometimes I know the answer but can’t get it out in time I love doing things like suduku so I m not going to worry myself at this stage (I’m 78)
I do think we sometimes don’t concentrate enough so much going on in our heads

Shelflife Sun 30-Jul-23 20:47:21

BlueBelle, I appreciate your desire to reassure Parky by suggesting that because her husband is aware of his memory loss he probably does not have Alzheimers Disease. My considerable experience with the Alzheimer's Society leads me to believe this is not necessarily the case.
If someone does show signs of dementia then getting an early assessment is the sensible way to go. If there is a problem then the sooner a diognosis is given the better! Medication is often prescribed during the early stage - if a diognosis is given when confusion is well advanced medication may not be prescribed because it is too late!
Parky , please rearrange that GP appointment. You are not alone, my DH is having memory problems and we have been to our GP - so time will tell. If my DH does have early signs of Alzheimer's Disease the sooner he receives a diognosis the better! Parky, receiving a diognosis does not open a can of worms it offers hope, a diognosis does not make a situation worse - quite the opposite it is of great benefit. I wish you and your DH well . If my DH receives a diognosis it changes nothing, quite the opposite it will offer medication that will hopefully keep symptoms at bay. Parky, please talk to your DH about that GP visit. Good luck !

PoppyFlower Sun 30-Jul-23 20:32:52

Hi, my Mum has most probably got Dementia of some kind, is now getting worse but my Dad is in denial about it, won't address it, can get aggressive when i try and he definitely won't take her to the gp. I'm worried about her missing the window where medication could help slow things down. So, I'm going to meet to a Support Worker from Alzheimers Society on Tuesday to discuss strategies as to how to approach both parents. They don't know I'm doing this. Feeling apprehensive but feel I've got to do this. Wish me luck. sad

Parky Sun 30-Jul-23 20:10:52

Can even

Parky Sun 30-Jul-23 20:09:58

That's interesting bluebell. Cheers me up no end. We have decided to cancel gp appointment. Don't want to open that xan od worms!

ayse Sun 30-Jul-23 20:04:46

My DH is/was very concerned about his forgetfulness. The worst thing was ‘losing’ his keys, phone, wallet continually. He has massive anxiety attacks when things don’t go to plan. I’ve bought him some ‘find my’ attachments for key rings, phones etc. He hasn’t lost any since.

We did go to our GP and she did the short memory loss test. She was satisfied that DH is ok but has referred us on for a more thorough test, just to be sure. I was worried for him but I didn’t think it was a serious problem just yet.

Anyway, I hope all goes well for you both. It’s all rather disconcerting when the memory isn’t as good as it was. Part of a normal part of growing old. BTW my DH is 77.

kittylester Sun 30-Jul-23 19:56:54

Please update us after your appointment parky.

BlueBelle Sun 30-Jul-23 15:12:59

Because he knows there’s a problem he probably hasn’t got Alzheimer’s depending on his age of course, we all forget more than we remember as we get older I should say…. most of us do

Redhead56 Sun 30-Jul-23 15:06:45

At least he admits there is a problem a lot of people don’t. Our friends decided to go to speak to their doctor. The dh was having problems so the wife said she would support him and have the test too.
It turns out she is the one with signs of the onset of dementia but her dh hasn’t. She was told there will be medication available but not quite yet. She was referred to the Alzheimer society for helpful support and information.

kittylester Sun 30-Jul-23 14:09:29

I'm not sure that they are generally available yet.

If your husband does get a dementia diagnosis, there are drugs available for Alzheimer's that help to slow it down.

Should he get a diagnosis of any sort of dementia, can I suggest you contact your local Alzheimer's Society (they support all types of dementia not just Alzheimers.

Parky Sun 30-Jul-23 13:19:47

My husband is getting concerned that he is developing dementia/alzheimer's. He is forgetful over recent events and names, places etc. But fine at routine things, setting table putting out breakfast things.

However, he constantly forgets how to answer his mobile or work TV controls. He does go to the supermarket, but gets overwhelmed if I ask him to get something he isn't used to.

Reason for this post is we have gp appointment tomorrow to ask for referral to someone in the hope to get medication to slow progress. Anyone taken or been offered any of the new drugs if so how effective were they?