Black Dog 18

Sod him! Yes HVDY best attitude. Antibiotics are helping thanks, feeling much better today. Off to caravan.
How comforting to have someone else who is sorry they smacked a child. I too feel like that. My son was such a trial too. Unbelievable behaviour. I did tell the health visitor about the problems and feeling guilty and all she said was, I'm sure you're a wonderful mother. Some help! I've told him I'm sorry. He's a wonderful son now, and we have a good relationship. You have to forgive yourself and move on. There are other things like you that I could have done differently, we all have them, but we have to be the best we can be now and enjoy life.
EllieAnne be kind to yourself x

nadateturbe Sorry. The antibiotics not helping the UTI? Those infections are miserable. I hope you're able to go to the festival you mentioned. DH and I aren't fit, but need to become fit. We both need to lose weight, as well.

EllieAnne I bet we all have times when we wish we'd done things differently. I do. I wish I hadn't smacked my eldest son when he was little (he was a real terror though), wish I'd appreciated my parents more, wish I'd saved some money - the list is endless when I think about it, but it's all been and gone. We have to try to live for now, and perhaps enjoy as many happy times as we can. Hope you manage to get out this weekend. What's the weather like?

Wyllow3 Have you been able to get into your lovely garden at all?

SweetpeaSue Hope things went well with the new Psychologist the other day.

Doodle Hope you managed to get your hair and nails done. You must look glamorous.

Candy6, ScaredyCat, Whiff, and all BDers - hope you manage to have a decent day.

I'd thought of going to see my brother, but he said he was going to see his friend for a pub brunch - he has to pass where I live to get there but never calls in. Ah well, sod him x

Here I am again with my wine and catching up on tv progs
My friend knows my marriage is unhappy but she has never been married so doesn’t really get it so I don’t go on about it.
Nothing has happened lately I just feel the weight of past mistakes. And time running out.
Doodle enjoy your holiday.
Wyllow I wish I could help.
Goodnight everyone. Sleep well.

Wyllow3 I wish I knew what to say to help. Are you in contact with your sister. I hope you are talking to someone. And eating and getting some fresh air.
I always try to remember I am not alone, God is right there beside me.
Giving you a hug.

Dear BD's, I've followed your days again I wish I could find it in me to comment more but my hearts gone out of myself only just managing to koko. I really appreciate the thoughts and prayers and stories from people who understand and have "been here". xx

Thinking of you both Wyllow3 and Sweetpeasue and Nanna too.

Whiff I was so glad to read your news. I hope the money helps to make life easier for you. Just a pity you had to wait so long, and that some never get it. Well done for persevering.

Candy joining a gym is a very good idea. Have you learnt to swim recently? I love the water, but can't swim.
Hope you're enjoying the caravan.

Scaredycat thanks for kind comments. I hope you're rested after your walk. It's good to get the sun, really lifts you. It's amazing the little things you find to buy online. And the excitement of a package arriving. 🙂

HVDY have uti on top of usual ME symptoms. Half my life is an off day, which is why I encouraged OH to go to the caravan and have some fun, as he spends so much time looking after me.
Your poor SiL has not had an easy life. Poor lady. Your brothers behavior really is strange and incomprehensible.
Well done on the aqua aerobics. You both must be quite fit.

Doodle It's lovely coming home to a clean house, just the holiday wash to do. You sound like a very happy couple. We don't share the same interests apart from enjoying history programmes and comedy. As you say, we're all different. You're right, of course, better not to change meds just before a holiday.
Enjoy your "me" day tomorrow.

Busy day for us getting ready for our holiday. Takes hours for DH to prepare his medication. I’ve finished tidying the flat. Love coming home to a clean house. Done most of the ironing and packing now . Tomorrow it’s time for me. Hair, nails, face etc. Must do my best for my public 🤣
nadateturbe I’ve always been a crafty person, if you see what I mean. No good at anything really but k love trying out new things. Painting, sewing, knitting etc.
DH may need to reduce more BP meds but we’re not making any changes till we get back from our trip.
Sorry you didn’t feel up to going to your caravan. Hope perhaps tomorrow things look better and you can join your DH.
HVDY yes I do most of the talking for DH too (whether he wants me to or not 🤣) Actually, that’s not really true . DH doesn’t have much volume in his voice and he likes me to talk to the doctors as I get down to the nitty gritty and don’t waffle.
Also if your DH is coughing he probably can’t talk much either. Hope he gets something that helps soon.
Yes the treats were very welcome. They’ve all texted to say thank you,
Sorry to hear about your SIL. If it was a TIA they might be doing more tests or some treatment.
Your beef stew sounds lovely. What will you have with it. I love mash with a good gravy.
Your sons both sound very caring. Apart from M&S I do most of my shopping online too. It’s easier to find what you want. Have had some successes and some disasters though.
Candy I love cockerpoos. Their lovely curly coats, what colour is yours? . I think pets can become so much part of the family. I know we’ve always loved ours a lot.
Nice you had your DD round for tea. It’s good to be close to family.
DH retired before me so we have always been home together since I retired. It’s the way we like it.
Ellie Anne wanting peace and contentment isn’t feeble. It’s something I pray for my family most days. If we’re honest I think it’s what we all want. The older we get the less able we are to manage stress.
You did an amazing walk today. 8 miles. Wow. Nice to have a church friend with you. You say you’ve messed up, well you are certainly not alone there. I certainly have too but is this what you feel in general or as a result of something happening recently? You do sound sad. I pray some better times come your way. Hope you sleep well too. x
Scaredycat glad you had a nice walk in the sunshine. Been raining or dull most of the day here.
I am lucky I know. DH is a kind man. Easy to be with. Quiet but caring. We are lucky in that we have similar tastes in things and like a lot of the same things so we can decide to go places and do things together. Other are equally happy doing their own thing. We are all different.
Are you seeing any of your family over the weekend?
Wyllow and Sweetpeasue thinking of your both every day. Wish I could send healing vibes to you but I’ll just stick to praying things get better for you.
Sleep well all x

Candy6 I don't like going round shops, never have (at least not since I was a teenager). I buy everything online - make-up, clothes, things for the GDs, groceries, etc. Hope you have a lovely time at your caravan.

nadateturbe Are you having an "off" day? Hope you feel a bit better after a rest.

ScaredyCat Perhaps we'll (Nottingham) get some some tomorrow. DH and I have just done an hour's aqua aerobics and he said he needs a sit down (he's been doing that all day) . My SIL is also epileptic, although that hasn't been a problem for some years - she was in hospital for a couple of weeks, a few years ago, when she had toxicity of the brain. Caused by taking twice the correct dose of meds for a week, because mybrother hadn't been keeping an eye on what she was doing. Just realised, he's 76 not 74 . 12 years older than me.

Hope other BDers are ok - *SweetpeaSue, Wyllow, Whiff, and others. x

EllieAnne- that was a lovely long walk- can you talk openly to your friend or do you put on your brave face? We all think sometimes we could have done better- but asCandy said it’s hard to accept how things are but it gives you some sort of peace of mind to do so. Hope there is something nice for you to enjoy this weekend.
HVDY- Good that you don’t have to worry about the PiP for a long while.
It’s sunny here today - just had a walk and I,m done in. It was so nice to feel the sun on our backs though. Your Bro is a piece of work- Caring wasn’t probably a the best career choice for him!!
I hope he’s got more information today about his wife.
Your poor SiL she didn’t need any more problems - it might explain why she fell though.
Candy- I like shopping too but not food shopping unless it’s just the nice bit and bobs we enjoy- shouldn’t but we do!!
Hope the sun comes out again for you at the caravan- it must be so nice to have somewhere by the sea to escape to. Have a lovely weekend.
Nadateturbe- hope you,ll be ok for the festival tomorrow- sounds good. Window shopping online is really enjoyable- so many things we didn’t know we needed!! Kindly advise for EllieAnne.
Doodle- I love how contented you and DH are together - such a loving relationship.
An hour is a long physio session no wonder it wears you out. Have you tried the warm water soak?
Hope you enjoy the upcoming cruise it,ll be so nice to be back on the sea again.
SweetPeaSue- hope the psychologist meeting has gone well today and that you found her comfortable to be with.
Wyllow- As always thinking of you- wish we could all pop in and visit. X
Love to all BD and others who just visit.

Candy you're a very active person, I'm sure you'll enjoy retirement. Although I must admit I miss the craic in the office, and the sense of achievement.
I love shopping too. I rarely do now as I'm not so energetic. I window shop online or with QVC. Seems to satisfy the need.
Fingers crossed for some nice weather at the caravan.

Oh it all sounds so cosy HVDY. I want some beef stew. I'm in bed, husband has gone to the caravan, I don't feel up to it, but the poor man must be fed up with me for company, and I wanted him to go. And there's a festival in Newcastle this weekend. If I feel better tomorrow I'll go. And we've agreed if I feel I can't cope he will come home. It's only an hour away.
That was some walk EllieAnne. Nice to have company. I think we all reflect as we get older. If there's something we've done that we can apologise for then maybe we should. But we all do our best at the time. I try not to dwell on things I regret. Easy to say, but it really is pointless. Few people don't have any regrets.

HVDY yes, I think you’re probably right about the financial side. Trouble is, I like shopping! The only way I can stop myself buying is not to go 🤣 then things pop up on social media and I get drawn in by that too! I hope the weather clears up for you. We’re on our way to caravan and have left the sun and it’s looking gloomy. Hope it improves 🤞. Your brother does sound annoying, must be difficult for you. Good you’re getting your PIP for that long, it’s such a pain having to reapply.
Hope everyone has a good day xx

It's a grey and miserable day here. I've got a beef stew cooking in the slow-cooker, I've changed the beds, done the washing and have got the heating on for a while . Brother is annoying (nothing new there). He says SIL"may" have had a TIA. "Someone" rang him to tell him, he doesn't know who, he didn't take the person's name or number, and he doesn't know when this "might have" occured. It's hard to believe he's a supposedly intelligent man of 74. He used to work in the care sector.

Candy6 It's surprising how little a person or a couple can live on, if the mortgage is paid off. Looking at the PIP latter properly, I'll get it for another 10 years (I'll be 74, if I'm still here) before it's reviewed.

EllieAnne 8 miles! Did you sleep well? I seem to think you said you're not on ADs but they probably would help you. What makes me feel you've messed up so much? I think we all feel we could/should have done things differently in life, sometimes. If you're unhappy with your marriage/life/home, what could you realistically do to alter things?

Ellie Anne oh I’m so sorry you’re feeling low. I can’t remember if you take ADs or not but if you do, perhaps you could look at increasing the dose? When we’re low, I think we do reflect on things we could have done better. I certainly do. My counsellor used to tell me that acceptance is the key, but it’s hard. I’m glad you enjoyed your walk. Are you able to open up with your friend? It does help if we can talk about our feelings. You are cert7very fit being able to walk that far. I hope you have a better day today xx

Went for a long walk with a friend from church. Did nearly eight miles. Am tired tonight. But I do appreciate having the strength to walk.
My head is not in a good place . I’m full of sadness because I’ve messed up so much . I’m tired and old but inside I ,just want to have some peace and contentment before I die. That sounds so feeble doesn’t it.
Hope everyone has a peaceful night especially wyllow. Xx

Evening,
Scaredycat yes, I enjoy working but I guess I’ll know when I want to finish. It all depends on DH really. His job is physical and he gets very tired so he does need to think about it. I’ve got a cockapoo, I love him to bits. Decided to get him when I took early retirement a few years ago and now I have to pay a dog walker! He’s a very special member of our family, as is our older dog but he’s not active anymore sadly. We’re keeping him going though bless him. I’m glad the AD’s help you. Surprising what a difference they make.
Sweetpeasue sorry you and DH are struggling. At least you won’t have to fight for your Oramorph. Hope the appointment goes well tomorrow.
Nadaterturbe hope the meds help with the pain and you don’t get any side effects.
HVDY one thing I will look forward to is being able to do more exercise. DH and I have discussed joining a nice gym. Since I’ve learned to swim, I enjoy doing that. Sounds like you had a nice day. Family seems to be as important to you as it is for me. I had a nice day too. DD and family came for tea. We had a lovely time. I love having them live so close. Glad you get your PIP it will help you financially until you get your state pension. It’s bad the qualifying age was raised. It would be so much easier for us if we got it at 60. I’m sure we’ll manage well then but it’s just that period in between. Another reason my job is handy. I don’t earn a lot but it’s something.
Doodle we do different things too. Well I do, DH doesn’t have too many hobbies as he’s always so tired with work. I do lots of things and he never has a problem with that I’m surprised sometimes at the number of women whose husbands Do. I couldn’t cope with that. We trust each other implicitly thankfully. Enjoy your cruise. I’m sure you will have a lovely time. Hope the wrist is ok.
Wyllow thinking of you and sending much love.
Love to Ellie Anne and others too. Night all xx

Such sweet messages and sending the warm thoughts back. I'm barely functioning but it is special to me to read BD ups and downs, for now this is all I can manage but the matters a lot xxx

nadateturbe Son1 is very thoughtful (both sons are actually), but then we've done such a lot for him and his girls over the years (much of it financial help).
Doodle I made the GP appointment as he wouldn't have bothered. I did most of the talking too . He's still coughing with every single thing he does. Nice that you live not too far from your son's. I bet the GDs will enjoy the treats you took. Are you going on a river cruise? I like the look of them, they're smaller and less busy than the huge cruise ships. Sur you'll have a lovely time.

Good evening Doodle. Thank you, I'll try that. It's very satisfying to have all done including ironing.
I didn't realise you had lots of hobbies. It's nice to be interested in lots of things. I have never found retirement boring.
I'm sure your GC will enjoy their treats. When mine were young I enjoyed making up a box of treats and posting it. They loved it.
Sorry your husband is still having low BP. I thought when medication was altered it would help. Your physio sounds very strenuous, but it's good that you are getting it.
You've been here on a cruise. I may well have watched your boat sailing up the lough. We love watching the cruise ships.
I'm sure you're both looking forward to Monday.
Just listening to He Will Hold Me Fast on you. a favourite.
Good night everyone, will catch up more tomorrow. Hope you have a peaceful night. Thinking of you Wyllow3.