Black Dog 19

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I have no great wish to linger on in this horrible world. My regret is having children, then grandchildren and what their world will be,

HVDY what a lovely photo. Such dark hair and beautiful eyes, neither of my sons or grandchildren had much hair as babies. She certainly looks a happy soul. I sure it does her good to spend time with different people. Makes them more sociable as they get older.
I agree babies always look so snug in babygro’s (or grow bags as DH called them).
Thanks for the advice about the blood thinner. Mine is called Edoxaban I’m hoping I can tolerate it. Dh was on it and it caused him internal bleeding.
Hope you had a good time with your older girls too.
Thanks Sweetpeasue it does seem to be one thing after the other at the moment. DHs feet are still a big issue. I’ve ordered him a big boot today which I hope will keep the pressure off. Not cheap but worth it if it helps.
Well done you for meeting up with your sister. So pleased you went and had a good time.
Hope your symptoms are a passing thing and you’ve not picked up some bug or other.
Scaredycat thanks for the info about the AF. Yes it is a worry but I expect I’ll get used to it. Just a bit of a shock out of the blue.
What a lovely surprise meet up with your family. How lovely to see them all together.
Yes I do remember Annie and her positive thought for the day. That and her love of snowdrops.
Ellie Anne I’ve seen that film advertised. I might watch it too. I like Timothy Spall.
Hope church is friendly and you get to chat to some nice people.
Dear Whiffhow kind of you to post an encouraging message to me. There seem to be many who have AF in one form or another. Yes I know I must take the blood thinners. The doctor i saw did mention the dangers of stroke and blood clots.
Up until this year I have always been well so it’s a surprise to find my heart playing up.
Wyllow sleep well x

ScaredyCat Thank you. Those damned cats, yes they ought to be in where it's warm. I had cats for 41 years, and they were always in all night. What a lovely surprise you had, seeing your daughter and her family like that.

EllieAnne I haven't seen that film, but I like Timothy Spall. I wish your life was happier, and that you and your husband at least chatted.

SweetpeaSue I hope you're not getting a virus. Drink plenty, keep warm.

Whiff I'm on Clopidogrel (anti-platelet tablet) but I find my I get a nosebleed occasionally, but if I cut myself or have an injection, I don't bleed any more than I did before. I suppose some of those tablets have more of an effect than others. I'm on Bisoprolol to slow down my heart rate (again, no side-effects).

SIL's sister came to see me this afternoon, for 2hrs. She lives 300 miles away but is in Nottingham for a couple of days. I didn't get to see the GDs but we're meeting them with Son1 and his GF for lunch tomorrow. I hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening. x

Doodle sorry to hear about your heart. Sounds like you have paroxysmal atrial fibrillation like me . My heart misses beats and goes very fast occasionally. The AF clinic where wonderful and put me on Apixaban which is a blood thinner 5mg twice a day this isn't to worry you but if you are referred to the AF clinic they will tell you with PAF or AF you are at slightly higher risk than people without to have a stroke. I have had no problems taking it been on it over 2 years. If they put you on blood thinners you have to be extra careful with knives and a graze will bleed like Billy oh. And having a blood test always ask for 2 tight plasters to be put on . And even with an injection it's better to have a plaster on. I am on Flecainide 50mg twice a day to help regulate my heart beat.

My brother has permanent AF and on high dose of heart tablets and blood thinners plus statins. He thinks he may have a pace maker at some point. He has 2 stents in his heart for the last 15 years they changed his life.

I was born with a hole in my heart but it's on the side between my heart and lungs . The flap that should shut before I was born didn't. It's small . So when my heart goes crackers I just sit and relax and it stops after a minute or 2. Known about it since 2020. Had to laugh when the cardiologist told me as I have had 2 minor ops and 3 major ones. All with a dicky heart.

So I was born with 2 things . But you have to make the best of your life. And I live my life to the full as my husband's was cut short.

Doodle as it seems it's one thing on top of another for you and your husband. Hopefully 2024 will be a better time for you both.

I am not ignoring the rest of you. But so many of you need help . But being here is a safe place for you and know you are not alone . I read your posts everyday and I have said before your strength and courage shines through. I know you don't think it does but I see it. Glad to see new people have found help here.

Wyllow I am happy to see you post every night . Just wish you could feel better and find some peace.

HVDY Hope you've had a nice day with your GDs while the men were out flexing their muscles 🏋
I hope your fox figures a way to outwit those cats.
Doodle Do hope you and DH have been OK today.
Scaredycat What a lovely surprise to meet up with family so unexpectedly. Yes it's a good thing to think of a positive every day though hard at times.
EllieAnne Sorry you're feeling really low. Hope if you go to church tomorrow it won't turn out to be so hard but I do understand about not wanting to put a face on. I didn't go to my book group this week for same reason and its v hard to be 'festive' if you feel anything but. I've seen that film The Last Bus and it's a good though moving one. Timothy Spall is such a good actor. Hope you can have some time and privacy on your own tonight. I wish I could change things for you.

Might be coming down with something as feeling headachy and sore throat, little nauseous. Took aunt out this morning and quiet afternoon.
Wishing all BDs and all reading a v peaceful night.x
.

I was intending to put up the Christmas tree today but I thought what’s the ,point. No one else will be in the house till Boxing Day so there is plenty of time.
I went for a walk this morning and put some cards through doors.
Watched a lovely film this afternoon The last bus with Timothy spall. Made me quite sad.
Dh was in another room watching golf.
I have two church services tomorrow and I will go but putting a face on is getting harder.
Realised I haven’t spoken to anyone today except dh and that’s just been a couple of sentences.
How ,I wish it was January.

HVDY- what a lovely photo of Chubby Chops- she really is beautiful and all that lovely hair too.
Have a nice day with the GDs while the men are busy.
Is there such a thing as a cat deterrent spray you could use for the food thieves. They should be safe indoors at night shouldn’t they.
Hairspray- Health Anxiety is awful- hopefully it won’t be long before you start to feel the benefit of the ADs. My Daughter was so pleased when I finally agreed to take them.
Doodle- Glad your Son and DiL are getting better- they should be ok for Christmas now.
I can’t say how sorry I am to hear that you have developed AF. You really didn’t need that on top of everything else. It’s good that it’s not all the time. You need to take the blood thinners as Blood Clots are a big risk with AF and therefore a stroke risk too.The new generation of anticoagulants are much easier to deal with than Warfarin is. It does explain a bit why you have felt so exhausted lately- that is the most common symptom of AF. It’s to do with the irregular supply of oxygenated blood from erratic pumping.
I hope you and DH are having a restful weekend and his heels are healing better now.
SweetPeaSue- so glad you were able to meet up with your Sister- you must have had so much to talk about. Do you see her very often? You must have felt a real sense of achievement when you got home.
I think you are doing really well at the moment- you are made of stronger stuff than you think. Hope today will be another good one.
Wyllow- thinking of you today and wishing the brighter times will be there for you soon.
EllieAnne- hope you have some time to do something you enjoy this weekend.

This dull old damp day we went for a walk and called in at Costas. We had a lovely surprise when DD,SiL,GD and 2 GGC all came in after sports morning. Such a treat to see them all together and have Coffee and Cookies together. I felt so lucky and it cheered us up after this difficult week.
I hope everyone has something nice happen today. Can you remember Annie and her positive thought for the day. It was a good idea.
Take care all those mentioned and those notxx

SweetPeaSue Thank you, DH and I are obviously biased anyway. Glad you felt able to meet up with your sister. It's good to have a good old chat.

EllieAnne Thank you. Hope you'll be able to get out and see someone to spend a bit of time with this weekend.

The cat that keeps coming - there are 2 black ones, from the same house, they both used to taunt Mr Cooper and he used to chase them off - it was there at various times from 11pm, then sat under a garden chair from about 3am to 6. It must be out all night. One fox (the regular one) came at midnight, and there was some food left then. Both sons and DH are going to be moving all the white goods and big things from DIL's house today. I've been told to not get in the way so the 2 GDs will be here later to keep me company. Hope ALL BDers have a decent day x

Beautiful baby xxx

thank you..its a very dark time. Love to all BD's xxx

Just a short post tonight.
Doodle You must be feeling low to keep being told you've yet another thing to cope with.I'm really so sorry that you both have so much being thrown at you these months.So unfair.I hope if you take the blood thinners you'll be like HVDY with no side effects. Do hope your DH's blisters are healing too. I'm hoping you will have a quiet Christmas and can start the new year with more luck and better health.
Hairspray100 Welcome.There are many here who can give you info about ADs and their own experiences. It seems everyone can be different. Own DH on Sertraline and started on 50mg for 6 weeks and a few days ago raised to 100mg with no side effects at all. I was on them a few days but got an extreme racy feeling in my head which I didn't like. I hope you begin to feel better soon.
Scaredycat Hope you've had a quieter calmer day today without too many worries. I'm sorry about your son having covid though. Hope that won't last long for him and he's feeling much better for Christmas. I'm so glad your ADs have helped. It is scary starting something new.
HVDY What a gorgeous photo of your dear little chubby chops. So sweet. You must be smitten-I would be! She must be so attracted to all the Christmas lights. I love it when they chuckle.
Don't know how you will solve the cat problem. Poor fox will have to use all his skills and cunning to outwit them.
Candy Hope you're OK and not overwhelmed with the busyness of this time. You have so much to fill your days already.
EllieAnne Hoping you're coping too and thinking of you.

I'm so tired. Been up during the night worrying and so anxious .Sister asked to meet up at the pub over moors for lunch. Was quite anxious going but not been there for nearly a Yr and needed to try. Going to loo set off bladder pain before I set off but painkillers worked and we had a good chat. It was so nice to do something 'normal' by myself. Just exhausted now .

Hope everyone has a peaceful night.
Wyllow Thinking of you. X

Thank you, Hairspray100. She's almost 6 months now, and a joy.

ScaredyCat Your friend's son obviously feels comfortable with talking to you. you must be a good listener. Baby has got several Christmas outfits, although she wears babygrows all the time (I love to see babies in them. I hate to see them wearing little jeans and denim jackets etc). Hope your son feels better soon.

Doodle I shooed the cat off at 11 and 11.45 last night, but it was there at 1am and 2am (seems to be out a lot). As if you haven't got enough to deal with, but now AF too. Can the hospital do anything about that? I'm on "blood thinners" (everyone calls them that but they don't make the blood thinner, they alter the clotting). I'm on Clopidogrel, which I've been on since the stroke. No side effects. I hope you get on ok with whatever they prescribe.

Had a good day with Chubby Chops (she's such an easy, happy baby), took her home at 6, and Son got an Indian takeaway for us. DIL and her daughter will be back at 9. Hope ALL BDers are having a cosy evening x

Oh my word, what a gorgeous baby!
She is beautiful. Xx

Chubby Chops

Thank you Scaredy-cat.
My daughter would be very pleased to have her old Mom back as well.
I am glad that you feel better and more like yourself.
I suffer dreadfully with Health Anxiety, would be such a relief to get back to normal. It’s been a long time. I appreciate your replies and thank you. Xxx

Hairspray-I am on Sertraline 50mg. After a while Doc upped it to 100mg daily but it gave me terrible diorrhea. So I went back to 50mg and it subsided. After about 6 weeks I suddenly realised I was feeling better and brighter. It helped with the anxiety including Health Anxiety and I can deal with worries now without that overwhelming panic and fear. My son who lives abroad says it’s like having his old Mum back . I hope your ADs do the same for you but it takes a while.

HVDY I can see you’re having a problem with the car eating all the food. I expect they know you put it out now.
Scaredycat there seems to be Covid going around again. Fortunately son and DIl both on the mend now. Hope your son comes through it quickly.
Went for my pacemaker check today and it seems I have now developed AF. Not all the time. Can’t say I’ve been aware of it.
They want me to take blood thinners. Can’t say I’m keen but I suppose I have to. I was hoping things were ok.
Nice of you to support your friends son. He is obviously worried about her.
So glad the ADs have helped you. It’s encouraging.
Hairspray only natural to be anxious about new meds. That’s how I’m feeling too.

Scaredy-cat
Thank you for the welcome. Do you mind if I ask what AD you are on and how long before you felt bit better.
I am feeling that every sensation is a side effect at the moment. Still very anxious about everything but only 2 weeks in on 15mg of Mirtazapine.

Hi all- I,ll have another go!!
Doodle- so glad your Sons health is improving and hope your DiL soon feels better too. Covid left one of my oldest GDs with Asthma - we,re hoping it won’t be permanent as she has enough to contend with. This morning my Son FT me and he has Covid too- he looked very sorry for himself. It’s his first bout too!!
Glad you didn’t have to fight for DH medication- his pain must be awful . It must be so sore when they change his dressings. It’s a good job you are having a quiet Christmas this year- you have had a whirlwind of worry.
I,m ok thanks. Had a rest yesterday so today M and S treats shopping and then talked with my friends Son who is so worried about her- we are too. Hope you have a calm weekend.
SweetPeaSue- Glad you,ve had a good day this week and been able to do some shopping comfortably. Gift Cards is a good idea- I know that flummoxed feeling well.
Yes we,ve had a lot of stuff to deal with lately - I love to be able to help if I can but it wears me out physically and mentally.
My friends Son came today - he has a lot of worry and needed to talk about his Mum.
Hope you have more comfortable days x
Whiff - your recipe idea is a lovely one - great for this time of year. You always have something interesting and kind to share.
Candy- try to take some time out between all your Christmas Jobs. It won’t matter if everything isn’t done but I expect you won’t relax til it’s all ready. My daughter is like you - always spinning plates!!!
Wyllow- I do hope your family are all ok and you manage to talk with them sometimes. Think of you every day.
HVDY- hope you are enjoying your day with Chubby Chops. Grandads are lovely with their GDs aren’t they. I expect she is enjoying all the trees and lights - does she have any more cute Christmassy outfits?
It’s so nice her Mum and big sister can spend some ‘girly’ time together. They must feel relaxed and happy that she is with you.
That cat is a pain in the butt- you,d think 2 foxes would scare it off. They must be big old softies.
Nadateturbe- Hope you feel better now you are home again. It was such a shame you were unwell there but you made it and your family will have been so pleased to see you. Take care.
Hairspray- hello and welcome- nice to meet you.
So sorry you have had such a bad time. It’s not easy dealing with an ‘invisible’ illness is it. What you wrote in your last post was very much how I had felt.
Please persevere with the ADs - I was terrified to take them as well but in March after many years saying I didn’t need them finally gave in. I feel so much better and would happily take them forever. They take a while to kick in though.
There is always someone here who will listen-friends indeed.
EllieAnne- hope your weekend passes gently.
Love to all - those mentioned and those notxxx

Doodle Glad you got your husband's prescription done. You have got a lot to cope with all the time. I admire you. The damned cat kept coming back and he scoffed all of the chicken (3 drumsticks, 2 quarters, all raw and left the bones. I hate that cat). There were 2 foxes, but by the time they came, there was only scraps left . Yes, we're lucky to be so involved with baby - something we never had with the others, not until Son1 had access after he'd left the mother

Wyllow3 Glad you're still posting.

Chubby Chops arrived at 8, but is asleep now, so I'm nipping out to post some cards and collect my prescription, and leaving DH to it. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Night wishes to all BD's xx

Managed to talk to GP today and got new prescription for cocodamol for DH and the Dn is coming tomorrow to dress his foot again.
It’s been absolutely manic here today. Phone calls from hospital about my appointments, phone calls for GP, phone calls from Dn. I dont know whether I’m coming or going. All that and Christmas to sort too, I’m exhausted.
Whiff DH is on omelrazole. He has lots of blood tests regularly because of his blood cancer. I had a delivery of Ensure for him today. Going to try and build him up a bit.
Candy Christmas does become stressful for lots of us. I feel the real meaning is lost in all the present and food buying. Are you at home for Christmas? We are having a quiet one just the two of us.
HVDY glad foxie came back. Has he had his lemon curd sandwich yet? I think the DN and podiatrist hopefully have a handle on DHs poorly feet.
Another day with your little one. How exciting. You’re certainly getting to be a hands on granny.😊
Scaredycat we all know what that’s like. Too much effort to type it all again. Hope you’re ok though.
Hairspray welcome. We all have different problems but work through them together and support each other.
It’s really hard to know what to do about side effects.
My DH takes between 20 to 30 different meds a day. Some of which are controlled drugs. The side effects can be horrendous when you read up about them. I think the idea should be to be aware of what the effects could be and monitor them if you get them. Sometimes they wear off after a week or two.
Glad HVDY can share her experiences with you.
Wyllow Ellie Anne sleep tight. x

HowVeryDareYou2
I hope so. The same here, I have coped with everything that life has thrown my way over the years (I am 71)
Now when things go wrong I can’t seem to cope at all. My husband has been having many health problems since the end of last year and this has been very stressful. I have always worried about things to do with family and was warned by someone a few months ago that I would “make myself very ill” if I didn’t let things go a little.
Good advice which I ignored as I felt that I was doing ok at the time. This then hit out of the blue.
I developed a small health issue myself and it sent me over the edge.
Why oh why do we worry so much about things that are out of our control.