Black Dog 20

It must be very difficult not to worry, but it may be that your results haven't yet been looked at - I haven't yet had the results of my brain tumour MRI (7th Feb), nor has my nephew (same day, and he has got brain cancer). A man from the day centre's wife had a biopsy done of her palate 2wk ago (she had mouth cancer 11 years ago) and is still waiting for the results. (Two different hospitals for the 3 of us) I think there is a backlog, in general. What I mean is, you might not have bad news, it might just be a case of results not yet being checked. I hope you have a better night's rest.

Nadateturbe Glad you've had a better day. Hope you're happy with your hair after it's been done tomorrow. I like the cut of mine, but not the colour - he put in a lot of very light highlights to blend in with the grey/white, but now it just looks very white all over. Perhaps I'm not ready to embrace my natural colour yet (It was originally almost black, naturally and has been every colour imaginable inbetween).

Wyllow3 I hope you're still in touch with your sister.
Doolde Best wishes for everything for tomorrow.
EllieAnne, Scaredy Cat, Whiff, Nanny, Candy and all BDers - hope you have a restful night. It's been a long (but good) day. x

Nadateturbe I don't know what to say to thank you enough for your prayers and concern and so much love shown.
I try and believe and pray that if it's the worst I may be given a fuller faith. You inspire me with your belief above and despite your own sufferings.
I will try to stay calm ,as you say, as things might not in the end be so bad.
I don't understand but my bladder pain has not been anywhere near as bad so I'm grateful for that. You have made me feel cared about and that's a very special thing. BD has been so special in that way and I owe all here a great deal of thanks.
Sleep well yourself Nadateturbe.
Doodle Wishing you both strength and sending love for your next step towards a full recovery for your DH and yourself. X
Wyllow Goodnight and sleep peacefully.

Sorry can't manage any more but thinking of you all HVDY Scaredycat EllieAnne Allsorts Nanny2507 Whiff Wyllow3 and anyone I've forgotten.
Have to save energy for hair appointment in the morning.
Today was a good day, hopefully back late tomorrow.
Goodnight all. Hoping its a peaceful one for you.x

Doodle I will be thinking of you both tomorrow. I'm sure you're exhausted with the wheelchair and getting everything sorted. I'm sorry you're having to do it all without any help. I do wonder if AgeUK could have offered advice about help. In any case I hope you get to your destination OK and get settled and OH is comfortable in hospital and his treatment goes well. I'm sure he is anxious too. Sending hugs and I will be praying each day for you. xx

Sweetpeasue I am sitting here in tears after reading your post. That is just so so disappointing. You must be very worried. It's hard not to think the worst. But it may be just a delay because of workload. My sister has just waited months for important results to see if her treatment had worked. And treatment has come so far. Please try to stay calm and remember that. Easy for me to say, I know. I am giving you a big hug and saying prayers for you. I do hope you get that call. No one would think you're foolish for feeling as you do, especially on top of everything else. xx

Whiff Hope everything goes well for your brother's op. He has done amazing by losing 7stone. That will stand him in good stead for the op.
Doodle I hope you managed with the wheelchair today. I expect you will be exhausted. Hope your stomach has settled now. Its no wonder it is churning with all the preparations and packing. Best wishes and sending love . Hope you both sleep tonight and it's not too early a start tomorrow morning.
HVDY Glad the birthday celebration went well. Really cold and dismal here too. Have a cosy night in .
EllieAnneThankyou . Oh I'm so pleased you had a nice chat with your friend. Tea and a lovely bacon roll-- just the thing on a cold day.

Sorry I'm not able to focus and have left some out today but I do care.
As expected ,have reached crescendo of anxiousness today then had call at 3 from nurse saying my appt cancelled as results not back. I was shocked and devastated. She said someone could ring me tomorrow early if they're back but I went into meltdown and had to call MH worker. Just couldn't stop crying.
Have read that sometimes if it's malignant extra tests may be needed to decipher type of cancer-- or that other a Medical Disciplinary Team need to put together 'plan' if needed. I know I'm jumping the gun but I'm thinking the worst. I know healthy tissue has to be taken away if it's malignant and could mean part glossectomy if its not benign.
I'm panicking and haven't slept for ages and now they do this.
Just trying to get into the right frame of mind but it's so hard when this awful 'fatelike' feeling is there. I know I will look v foolish if things turn out OK. But the damned thing is growing so will have to be removed in any case. I can't see a way out.
Have thought of what I might need to do and what it might mean for me on BD. I couldn't update with miserable stuff - it wouldn't be fair.
I'm just going mad with worry. Really sorry.

EllieAnne Good, I'm glad you've found someone you're comfortable with for chats.

It's been bitterly cold out all day, so when baby woke up we just went to a cafe and shop, then picked up her big sister from school. Son and DIL got back half an hour ago, so we've come home now.

Yes Hvdy . Tea and a bacon roll. Had a nice time and we both shared a few things.

Allsorts It's good to get out for a bit of fresh air, when possible. I always smile or say Hello to people who are on their own, it's just a friendly thing to do. I'll be glad for some warmer (not hot) weather.
ScaredyCat It was lovely last night, thanks. Hope you're keeping well and are ok today.
Doodle Thanks, but it was my Son2's 40th birthday. (his 1st as a dad). He had a lovely birthday. It's a good idea to make a list of the things your husband will need for his hospital stay. Hope today's surgery appointment goes well.
Nanny2507 All those birds! Do they all lay eggs? It must take ages to feed them and all the other animals every day. It will be quiet when they've all moved out.
Whiff Hope your brother's operation goes well. It sounds as though he keeps fit, so he should be ok. How did he manage to lose 7st?? I'd love to be able to lose about 5st.
EllieAnne Are you meeting the lady for a cup of tea? Hope she turns out to be a friend you feel able to confide in.
SweetpeaSue Fingers crossed that you get good news about your biopsy on Friday. Good to know that you can contact the Psychologist if you need to. My Son1 has got 50,000 photos on his mobile!

Hope everyone's day is going ok. DH & I went to Son2's at 6.15, they went off for the day. Sorted the baby out, took older girl to school, came back here nd played with baby. She's asleep now, so we'll take her out when she wakes up x

Morning all. Stomach all over the place. So much to do. Another surgery visit this morning. Takes such a long time to sort out the wheelchair etc.
Sweetpeasue you will be having an anxious time too. Hope all is well but good that the psychologist is available.
nanny you will miss Binks but know that he will be safe with your son. I hope you can soon go and live nearby.

Whiff that’s kind of you. Hope all goes well for your brother,
He sounds fit so that is good.
Oh Whiff I’m so sorry you’re in pain. Physical is bad enough but perhaps painkillers help but the mental kind is awful. Do hope you get some peace and comfort soon.
Thanks Ellie Anne I hope you have a nice time. Perhaps see how the chat goes but hope she is kind.

Thinking of you doodle and sweet pea sue for tomorrow.
Meeting some one from my bible study group this morning.
I think she suggested it because I ve missed a few weeks.
I don’t know whether to share how I feel or pretend everything is fine.

Sorry haven't read for a few days . But just wanted to say hope all goes well for you and your husband Doodle. My brother has his pre op tomorrow ready for his hip reconstruction on 18th. His hip replacement he had over 10 years ago because of a bike accident wasn't designed for a working man doing his job. The metal on metal has caused cobalt to enter his blood and tests showed they are dangerously high even so had to wait over a year for his operation. It will take long than the original hip replacement and he may lose more blood. Having it done in Birmingham where he had it done in the first place as the Royal Orthopaedic was the best hospital in the West Midlands. They now live in Lincolnshire. Once he can come home has a couple of friends with large cars to get him home and his after care will be with his local hospital. He has lost over 7st and been swimming 50 lengths every morning at 6. 30 and last couple of weeks doing the pre op exercises as well. He only wants to be in a couple of days. Luckily they live in a bungalow. Already have all the equipment from when my sister in law's MS went out of control 5 years ago. They kept hold of all the things she was given as they would have scrapped them. What a waste they could have sterilised them for someone else to use.

Sorry everyone who is in a lot of pain physically and mentally. And hope you can find one thing a day that makes you smile . Hugs to you all 🤗.

Hi all xx how yes he is "done" one of the first things we did. He only does it to me. Cheeky thing he is!
scaredy I have 7 cats and 3 dogs. 8 ducks, 12 geese and 60 chickens. The birds are my sons as are 6 of the cats. When they move out I will have 1 cat and 3 dogs. They will be taking Binks 😪 as he's so attached to a couple of their other cats but hates my cat. I will miss him

Doodle I hope your nervousness will soon begin to settle a little once you have got everything packed that you both need. So sorry you're going through this. You must feel like so much depends on you and you will want to try and manage your Dh's stay in hospital as well as you can. Sending you a hug too and my prayers that you will not feel alone in spirit. I hadn't realised you were at home until Friday.Yes Friday I get biopsy results, and reassurance today from psychologist that if it's bad news I can ring them.
So many photos on phones now , it's all so different, you're right.

Goodnight Doodle and all BD x

Thanks everyone for your good wishes.
HVdY I’m so pleased that you are getting involved with your DGDs older sister too. It must be nice for all the family that you are so welcoming to them all. Have a lovely day with Chubby chops. Hope the hair looks good, have a nice meal. Is it your birthday? Did I miss that. Many happy returns have a great day 🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂
Thanks Allsorts hope you’re doing ok.
Sweetpeasue I love looking at old photos. I wonder if this generation will perhaps miss a bit of that. Everything is on the phone these days. I wonder what happens to all those digital photos.
I’m not going to the hotel (I use the word loosely 🤣) till Friday so still at home and frantic checking of lists to see if I’ve forgotten any thing.
Glad you managed to get to book club, Hope the MH appointment went well. Is it Friday you get your results. Praying everything is ok for you.
Scaredycat thanks for the hug it’s appreciated. Yes I’m very nervous. Still trying to sort out packing. Trouble is we’ve accumulated so many different bits for DH i don’t want to forget things that make him comfortable.
I love the spring flowers too especially the daffs. They always look so cheerful and sunny. Such a variety of sizes these days.
Wyllow thanks for your kind thoughts. x

HVDY- hope you all have a lovely Birthday meal tonight. Best times when you are all together.
What a busy day tomorrow too- Chubby Chops will keep you all on your toes!!
I,m glad your SiL is feeling more settled - it’s nice your Brother can eat with her sometimes. Hope your nephew is doing as well as he can.
Doodle- Hope you,ve been able to get your packing sorted - it’s a lot to think about isn’t it. Will be thinking of you on Friday- do so hope your DH will be ok - he will be glad you are so close. I need to send you a hug- I understand your sadness.
Allsorts- so nice to see you again. Very nice words and advice- yes if able getting outside is a great tonic. Seeing the Daffs all out is lovely isn’t it. Take care.
Wyllow- do hope you are still in touch with your Quaker friends. Hope you have a peaceful night xxx
Whiff,Candy,SweetPeaSue, Nadateturbe,EllieAnne,Nanny and those I’ve not mentioned hope you have a pleasant evening and decent sleep.

Scaredycat My aunt likes looking st past photos too though my sons find them terribly funny. They find the pudding basin haircuts I had as a child hilarious , plus my half mast 'Rupert bear' trousers. Hope you've been OK today.
HVDYA happy birthday to your son today. Hope you like your hairdo and have a lovely family meal together later. Crikey doesn't seem that long since I turned 40 and though I was sooo middle aged(old!) 🫣 Enjoy chubby chops and DGD tomorrow. A full day for you.
Allsorts The spring sunshine does help doesn't it,as does the fresh air and just brief contact with another person. It can take an effort but it's usually worth it. I'm sure most of the people you say hello to feel better for the friendly greeting too . My small garden looking a wilderness too at the moment but the crocus and now daffodils are appearing. Hope you are doing ok- nice to see your post.
Doodle I hope you are getting settled into your temp room and it is comfortable and not too far from the hospital. I think it's the thought you might forget something more than anything else. It's usually the obvious things I forget about when packing. Surprising how little we really need though. Look after yourself, we are all thinking about you and wishing your DH well for his short stay.
EllieAnne Hope you are OK and things have settled a bit at home.
Nadateturbe Hoping your day has gone well and you are catching up and
feeling stronger.
Wyllow Wishing you a restful night.x

MH appt this morning and went to Book group this afternoon. Busier day so not been able to think you much about Friday which is good. Saw son yesterday for short while which was nice.

Hope everyone has had a decent day. Love to all BDs and anyone not personally mentioned.x

Doodle, all the best for your dh and you Friday. Do hope all goes well.
To all those that feel low hope this spring sunshine helps. I am making a big effort to get out each day and walk, doesn't matter if it's not far, I say hello to everyone, they probably thing I'm daft, but it does me good, of course if your imobile it must be so frustrating, when I've been off my feet I ensure I've flowers in the house and a view of my garden(wilderness at times)..

Doodle We saw Chubby Chops, briefly, when DIL called in. We've got her all day tomorrow (Thurs), from 6.30am to about 5ish! We'll be doing the school run and tea for her sister, too. I don't do prayers, but you and your husband will be in my thoughts a lot on Friday, and I hope he'll recover well.

nadateturbe Hope your pain eases off and that you have a better day today.

Getting my hair cut and highlighted later, so it'll look decent for the family meal out tonight. Hope everyone's day goes well. x

Just to clear up any confusion regarding the morphine pain patches - they are excellent,but it may take a while to get the dose that is right for you. You should also have a prescription for morphine syrup to use when you still have severe pain. If you require more than a certain number of doses of syrup in 24 hours then the dose of 0atc my

Night night to all BD's xx

Doodle all the best when you are away and cant come in

Doodle will be thinking about you both and praying for your husbands recovery.x

Sweetpeasue I’m a bit panicked to be honest. I’m trying to think of everything I might need as I will not be near home and can’t pop back for things. Also having no idea how long DH may be in hospital means I am packing extra stuff in case it’s longer than we think. I’m feeling really sad today. Keep looking at DH and hoping he’s going to be ok.
Glad you got on ok at the dentist. I dread root canal treatment. Had it once and wot really stressed.
Hope bowel and stomach settle down soon and let you have an easy night,
Thanks HVdY I thought it was a cute little fox too. Have you seen any of your DGC today?
Scaredycat I’ve heard that about panic attacks too except it was a brown paper bag., I’m sure when that started to be a remedy for panic attacks there were more paper bags around.
Be hard pushed to find one now.
As long as the place is clean and warm I will be fine. It’s not luxury accommodation just the nearest place to the hospital .
What alovely time you had with your Gd. I love looking at old photos. I saw a picture in the paper the other day from years ago, of 3 men working on a building site. One of them had a shirt and tie under his overalls, 🤣.
Wyllow nadatetutbe and Ellie Anne hope you are ok. Sleep well.

Sorry everyone I'm coping with a lot of pain at the moment. Obviously not as well as you all cope. I admire you so much. Love to you all.xx

ScaredyCat Thanks. SIL appears to be being looked after well. My brother sees her 3 times a week, has his dinner with her sometimes. She's at least stopped asking when she can leave, and seems more settled. Looking at old photos is something I like doing - although I wish I was as slim as when I thought I was fat!

How's everyone's day been? It's Son2's 40th tomorrow, so DIL brought round a cake she's had made - it's themed on Judge Judy, his favourite programme . It's in our fridge, ready for us to take to the Indian restaurant tomorrow night . Hope everyone's ok x