How to keep track of elderly parent who lives alone

DaisyAnneReturns

You are probably best with a standard care system. The button around her neck that Tenko mentions would be connected to the operator, usually through the phone system. The phone has a speaker.

If your mother presses it, they will speak to her through the system to find out what the problem is. If she is not able to answer, they will call the emergency services and let you know. They would want an up-to-date copy of your mother's medical conditions and medication. If she lives in a building with a code entry, they will need that too for any of the emergency services should they be needed.

They will also need a key to her accessible door. If you choose to be her key holder or someone else is nominated they must be available 24 hours a day and to be able to get to your mother quickly. All in all, I would recommend a key safe rather than a nominated key holder. If this is chosen, the service provider will also need the code for the key safe.

To keep in touch with you, your mother could have an Echo Show. I believe you could set it up so she can say, "Alexa, send a message to bobble to say I am up and having my breakfast". There is also a drop-in facility between devices (you would also need one for this). If your mother gives permission, you can do just that. Your mother may not want that at the moment, but you can send a phone message asking if you could "drop in on Alexa for a chat". Then, if things deteriorate, she may be happy for you to look in and see if she is okay.

I think a Care Line system is more of a priority, but it all needs her agreement.

thank you - the echo show looks like a good possibility for me - I really appreciate your thoughtful response

biglouis

*If you choose to be her key holder or someone else is nominated they must be available 24 hours a day and to be able to get to your mother quickly*

I refused to do this for a neighbour a couple of months ago. Its too much responsibility.

Your poor MIL - this is what I want to avoid happening to her - hope she's ok

Notsoold27

There are watches which detect movement including a fall. No need to press anything

thank you - I will look into this

OldFrill

There's a wealth of information being offered for which I'm (and probably others) thankful. If an OP doesn't comment it doesn't mean they haven't taken note. Commenting that an OP hasn't commented is far more irritating than an OP not commenting 🤣

again - I only posted this last night - 10th Jan - I have been at work it's now 11th Jan .... this is the first chance I have had to come back to this tread

Tenko

Hi, my mum is 88 and also frail with poor mobility . She has an alarm button on a chain around her neck. She lives in a retirement apartment and they organise it. Also in her flat she presses a button every morning to let the manager know she’s ok.
In her previous house , she had an alarm which was from age uk .
As for something attached to a plug , I’ve not heard of anything like that. Is it a tracker device like you’d use on a dog ?

yes I have - they can only offer the cord around the neck gadget - which she would no be keen on

ixion

Has your mother actually agreed to this surveillance?

Not yet - it's not really surveillance I want - more reassurance - I've seen something connected to a kettle plus - so I am aware when she is up in the morning - I've been in touch with gateway to care for advice also

Vito

Another one who hasnt come back on a thread she started 🙄

Only put it up last night ??

Sorry - no idea why thecqote cam up.

OldFrill

Google "dementia trackers"

I think "I want to be a 'helicopter daughter" was a clue Vito, but it is of interest to many.

There's a wealth of information being offered for which I'm (and probably others) thankful. If an OP doesn't comment it doesn't mean they haven't taken note. Commenting that an OP hasn't commented is far more irritating than an OP not commenting 🤣

Just thought of t when my Dad had an alarm on a cord. The alarm came through to me. Several times it went off in the night and I would dash to his house ( luckily only just up the road) and find him blissfully asleep. He had forgotten to take the alarm from around his neck and had rolled on it in his sleep.

vegansrock

The alarm button is all very well but the elderly person has got to be wearing it. My MiL lay on her bathroom floor for 12 hours as she’d got up to go to the loo without bothering to take the alarm.

Also, if there’s any degree of dementia, the person will very likely forget to wear it or hide it, and even if they do remember to wear it, will forget what it’s for.

My mother had an alarm on a cord round her neck. It went off when she fell, due to a stroke, and the people from the alarm company went round immediately. They had a key and my contact details and rang me as soon as they'd got her to hospital. This was about 12/13 years ago; the technology might be better now but it was enough even then to get her help quickly.

Another one who hasnt come back on a thread she started 🙄

My MIL calls us each morning when she is up and each evening when she is in bed. Just 3 rings , we don’t answer. We do speak to her at other times😀.

If she hasn’t rung by the allotted times, we call her. Luckily she is in the routine of doing this and has only forgotten a couple of times.

Notsoold27

There are watches which detect movement including a fall. No need to press anything

With the ones I have been describing you don't need to press anything if you fall. It works in the same way the watch does. Being able to call for help by pressing the button is separate. The fall alarm is additional and you would probably have to request it if it isn't in your basic package.

You have to ask who the watch would call. Are they available 24 hours a day? Do they have the same relationship with the emergency services, the persons medical history to refer to? And how close are they?

NotAGran55

Apple Watches have various automatic alarm and tracking systems, including a hard fall detector.

You can usually get a watch style alarm instead of wearing it round your neck.

It is night-time that is the problem.

You are balancing your concern with your relatives legal entitlement to do as they wish as long as they have capacity.

I imagine (but that's all it is) that as they use virtual wards more we will be asked to accept cameras. One person can then continuously check many during the night. For some it will be worth it in order to stay at home. They may already doing it. I haven't come across it but that doesn't mean it someone hasn't put it in place already.

I have a relative who uses the Drop In on their Alexa's if her dad doesn't answer the phone (with his permission). He us usually taking a nap He is aware of his multiple issues so that makes it easier.

Apple Watches have various automatic alarm and tracking systems, including a hard fall detector.

There are watches which detect movement including a fall. No need to press anything

The alarm button is all very well but the elderly person has got to be wearing it. My MiL lay on her bathroom floor for 12 hours as she’d got up to go to the loo without bothering to take the alarm.

If you choose to be her key holder or someone else is nominated they must be available 24 hours a day and to be able to get to your mother quickly

I refused to do this for a neighbour a couple of months ago. Its too much responsibility.

My mother moved from a simple alarm that you oress to one that combined a fall alarm. They measured her for the combined on so it must have been able to detect the distance.

Not only if pressed Kitty as I said I’m not sure how it works but my friends recognises a fall

The button round your neck can just be for Mum to press or it can also be a fall alarm.