Black dog 21

BD's describe things so well here and I'm glad to read the caring.

Doodle very understandable glad you can come in.

I haven't the desire to care about myself to get anything done and had a day unwashed and ill/sick. I don't want to describe details just can't. My mind cant find a point.
but this is a very special place its the only place I can say that.

Night night BD's. all xxxx

Goodnight Nadateturbe and Wyllow and all.

Oh EllieAnne I'm so glad for you that your cat is eating now. That's surely a good sign. Hope he starts to eat more regularly and gets back to himself. x

I've started a post but will have to finish in the morning. Read all your posts, so thoughtful to everyone.
Thinking of you Doodle.x 🙏
Love and hope you all have a peaceful night.xx

Cat is starting to eat !
Vet checked his teeth and they are fine.
Sweet pea sue it’s sad about the plants but it will be fun planning and creating a new border.
Hvdy enjoy your break.
Thinking of you all.

Nadateturbe- oh your poor eyes - so painful. It makes you feel tired when your eyes are so uncomfortable.
You sound uncomfortable too- no wonder you feel fed up. Hope you have a more restful night and are able to sleep more peacefully.
SweetPeaSue- I feel so sorry for the upheaval and loss in your garden . So many years to get those plants and climbers established and you grow to love them . You must feel so sad to see all those empty spaces. Yes - off to the Garden Centre - there are so many lovely plants needing homes!! It will be good for you to plan colours etc- New Beginnings!!!!
Hope DH does not have a sore arm after his jab and that the headaches are staying away today.
EllieAnne- your poor little cat. They don’t really have any way of showing you how they feel do they. Hope he’s soon back to enjoying his food. Has he had his teeth checked?
Glad your GD has an appointment at last- bullying has been horrible for her and must have eroded her confidence apart from anything else.
Don’t overdo it EllieAnne you have walked a long way.
Candy- being at your caravan obviously really relaxes you. All that lovely fresh air,the water,no work worries. You are finally chilling after working so hard for so long. I understand about liking a routine though - it’s your routine though so you can chose .
HVDY- hope you are having a lovely time and the sun is shining on you. Enjoy lovely Sheringham - I loved it there when I was little.
Happy Anniversary for tomorrow.🍾
Doodle- there are no words that will make you feel better at the moment so just sending love and hoping tomorrow brings better news. Take care of yourself.
Wyllow- hope you,be managed to get out a little today in this lovely sunshine. So nice to see your posts- sending love.

Been to see our friend with Alzheimer’s today- we had a little walk with her round where she lives . So many of you have had experience of this awful illness so you understand what I mean about the sadness of watching someone you love so bewildered and lost. But she is a wonderful example of KOKO.
Love to all

Oh Doodle I don't know what to say. Hope you're looking after yourself too-you must be exhausted. In my thoughts every day and sending love and prayers that your DH will soon pick up and be able to come home. x

EllieAnne It must be awful to see your loved pet failing all the time. I hope he gets better. I've never had a cat so don't know much about them really. I understand you wanting to take him to the vets yourself-Id feel the same. Good news about your poor GD , so worrying for you and her parents that she's had to wait so long for MH care. I hope the bullying has stopped now, poor girl.
I sense the frustration in watching the same routine in your DH and him seemingly being oblivious to your sadness. I wonder if he does realise but doesn't know what to do about the relationship. Crikey EllieAnne-5miles! I don't think I'd be able to pull any weeds after that . I hope it helps you and calms your mind too. Do hope your cat recovers soon.

Sorry just don’t feel like saying much at the moment. Take care all x

Poor cat was in the vet all day yesterday. He ate something there after his diazepam but nothing since he came home. Have paid out more than £600 so far. Hopefully will get it back from insurance minus the excess. Constant trailing to the vet is depressing. I could send dh but because he doesn’t hear well I might not get the right information. Messaged dd to see how she is but no answer.
Oldest gd (13) the one who was being bullied has at last got appointment with mental health team.
I’ve just walked 5 miles and feel weary.
Dh has watched tv read paper and played solitaire. After bargain hunt and the news he will play on laptop again till it’s time for tipping point.
My grass cutting man was here today and garden looks better so I will try to do some weeding this afternoon when I’ve had a rest.
Thinking of you all especially doodle. Xx

Doodle Thinking of you and your DH as always and hoping today is better for you both.x
EllieAnne What Doodle says is so true , about all worries are very real and cause stress and anxiety to each person, whatever the worries are about, they are valid. Worries about family are so wearying and really bring you down. It felt so hard when my AC were small and I used to think once they were adults it would all be different and the worries would stop but they don't, they just change.I hope your cat is much better and that isn't adding to other anxieties.
HVDY Hope you have a lovely break away. Weather should be good this weekend.
Candy I can understand you feeling better when you're away at your caravan. It's nice to feel that for those days it's just your time I think , and housework and dull everyday stuff can wait. Not that I do a lot of housework these days! 🫣
Hope you're not as tired today. It must be strange going from your job and having more free time and I. think it must take a lot of adjusting to if that makes sense.
Nadateturbe Oh Im so sorry you're having such pain and your eyes sound awful. Please don't think my situation is any worse- pain wears you out and I know you have so much more to deal with. I don't have pain all the time and my pain meds are really effective. I find that if I have a bad week I lose hope and sink to the bottom and can't imagine things will be better . All sorts of stuff piles in and I feel so many different emotions--resentment, anger, despair and feeling damn sorry for myself then when things get better I wonder why I got so down. Please be kind to yourself, you are having a really bad time and the eye problem sounds like hell on earth - I can't think of anything worse. I'm so sorry. I get the concern about not knowing if a particular pain is something different to your usual ones. It must be so difficult to figure out. Sending you a warm hug and do hope you start to feel better soon.
ScaredycatWhiff**Wyllow and any missed out hope your day goes well.

Feeling really low today. Fence finished but my garden looks - well, it's gone. All the beautiful climbing plants lay the skips at the tip. Just a stark wooden fence and a bare border. There's a gap at the bottom and our soil will fall through under fence. Was going to garden centre to buy more stuff today after DH has covid injection but not sure if it's worth it yet.
What did I say? New beginnings? Ah well. Koko.

xx Night night all xx

Sorry can’t write much but read and sending love and hugs to all. Ellie Anne worry about our family comes top as far as I’m concerned also our pets because we love them. Never feel guilty about your worries or compare them to others. Worry is worry whatever the cause and it brings you down. Take care all xx

Hi all, been a bit more energetic today! Think I’m better when I’ve got a routine to follow and not just loll about.
HVDY I nearly always sleep in the day. Haven’t today though. Sometimes I don’t feel like I can get through the day without one. Hope you’ve arrived at your holiday destination safely and you are looking forward to the next few days.

Love to Ellie Anne Wyllow Doodle Scaredycat Sweetpeasue Whiff Nadaterturbe and everyone else. Sorry if I’ve missed anyone personally. Wishing everyone a peaceful night xx

Not great, and fed up. Back pain which travels to front and I've had it before but you always wonder,cis this just muscular or more serious, don't you? And my eyes. I have ointment for night time to ease the pain, but its too uncomfortable. I'm just wakening up and putting more drops in.. I'm getting palpitations too probably caused by disturbed nights. Sorry to moan.
Sweetpeasue I know yours is much worse but I get how it wears you down. Hugs.
Sorry about your fence problems and DH.
Hope you have a good break HVDY. So caring to think of Foxy.
Candy, maybe you're just so relaxed in the caravan. But perhaps get bloods checked if you're worried.
Nice post to Doodle.
Sorry about your cat and your worries about your children EllieAnne. It's hard being a parent. My children alk have health problems and you just want to fix it.x
Wyllow3 great to see you chatting.
Hello Scaredycat I hope you are well.
Doodle As others say, your DH is getting the attention he needs, which is good. But I know how hard it is for you both. I do hope and pray you are both able to go home soon. Sending you love and hugs. x

Sorry to not answer much of your posts.
Hoping you all have a peaceful night.xx

EllieAnne Diazepam is given to cats to stimulate the appetite. One of my cats had that, and was eating, quite literally, in a couple of minutes. The underlying cause of your cat being unwell needs to be found and treated, though. You aren't on antidepressants, but perhaps you ought to consider taking them? In my own experience, they've allowed me to cope with difficulties in life. I'm on Mirtazapine, but there are many different ones.
Candy6 Glad you had a nice break away. Could your tiredness be due to your recent change of routine since you retired? I still stick to a regular bedtime, and I wake up early (sometimes go back to sleep for an hour), and I never sleep during the day.
Wyllow3 Hope you have a better day.

Hope ALL BDers manage to see a bit of sunshine. It's bright and sunny, everything is packed in the car. "See you" all soon x

And to Scardycat!! x

Doodle sometimes hospitals have really nice chaplains just to talk to.
nadateturbe so sorry about your blepharitis.
Sweetpeasue sounds a good psychologist - thank you for the. heart.
I hope going away is good, HVDY

"So many problems and knowing others have it worse just makes me feel guilty.
I’m so tired of living like this." Understood, EllieAnne
Candy you say" Not sure if it’s because I can finally relax there?". that really makes sense.

Night night all xx

Evening all
HVDY hope you have a good few days away. I think the weather is going to be ok but you are wise to pack for all sorts as you never know! Foxy is lucky you are leaving his suppers for him whilst you’re away!
Doodle yes you must both be so fed up. It will give you both such a boost when you can finally go but on the other hand it’s good that the medical team are being super cautious too. When I was stuck in your position I focussed on what I’d do when we finally were released (I suppose it should be discharged really but “Released” seemed more apt as it did feel like we were imprisoned!). Just normal things like getting out in the fresh air, going for a walk, watching my favourite feel good film. It all felt like a long way away at the time but it came and yours will too. Very soon too I hope.
Nadaterturbe sorry about your eyes. I hope you get well soon. Does resting them help? I hope you can find things to listen to like audio books or your favourite music. Take care of yourself.
Sweetpeasue I hope your session with the psychologist has helped you, although emotional, it can help to release some things. Those people doing the fence don’t sound very nice people but I’m glad you got it sorted. I hope your DH’s headache has eased now and the cause of them is found soon so he can receive treatment. It’s been going on for a while now hasn’t it? I hope you are pain free too.
Ellie Anne I’m sorry too for your worries. I hope your cat is better and receiving appropriate treatment. I know it’s been suggested for you before, but I’m sure some anti depressant medication may help you. It might be an idea to do a bit of research so you can be fully prepared what to expect from the different ones. I knew which one I wanted to try and I was pleasantly surprised but very cautious too.
Wyllow I’m sorry things are still a struggle for you but glad your managing to get out. Keep going 💪 .

We’ve just come back from our caravan. DH has some work and I have childcare. I seem to be more tired when I’m there and sleep a lot. Not sure if it’s because I can finally relax there?I’m slightly worried about my constant tiredness but I know my meds can cause this so 🤷‍♀️. We’ll see and so many have so much more to contend with.
Night all. Take care xx

Cat was back at vet. They still have no idea what is wrong.. he is going in tomorrow for fluids and diazepam. I’m finding it all very stressful. ..
Really down . Worried about dd and wishing I could make things better for sons too.
So many problems and knowing others have it worse just makes me feel guilty.
I’m so tired of living like this.

Doodle You have both been through such a lot, especially this year. You must both be dying to get back to your home. I hope that won't be too much longer. Take care x
Wyllow3 Getting out to the supermarket is a big step towards recovery. Keep it up, even though it's a struggle. We all care.
SweetpeaSue Glad you were able to get all your emotions out with the Psychologist. That's what he's there for. Good that the neighbour helped your husband. Has your DH managed to get a GP appointment soon? DH and I are going to Sheringham, Norfolk, in a self-catering bungalow. I've packed for every type of weather!
ScaredyCat Thanks. We're going to be away for our anniversary on Friday (44), so will probably do something nice (weather permitting). How are you?
Nadateturbe That must be uncmfortable. Have you got eyedrops? My mum used to get Blepharitis and was told to bathe her eyelids with diluted baby shampoo.
EllieAnne How's your cat?
Candy,*Nanny*,*Allsorts*, hope you're ok.
Whiff Hope you're enjoying your holiday.

I've ironed, packed, cleaned up a bit, and taken the fox food to the neighbour's. DH has gone out for a couple of pints with Son1. Nice to have the place to myself. Hope ALL BDers have a restful night x

Nadateturbe poor eyes-they must drive you mad. It must get you down so much.You are not only having to put up with the other ME stuff but your eyes too .Hope they're a bit better tomorrow and you are not feeling too bad in other ways.
Scaredycat Thanks yes DH is tired. Tbh we both feel much more tired than we did -I notice many others of a certain age do too. If I stop doing something and sit down for long I want to sleep. Hope you've been OK.
EllieAnne Hope you are OK too and that your cat has started to pick up.

Wishing all a peaceful night in body and mind.

I can't read everything and comment. I have blepharitis, probably due to having sensitive skin and also associated with M.E.
Reading as much as possible. Thinking of you all.
Doodle love and hugs. Still praying. xx

SweetPeaSue- you must feel tired this afternoon- all that emotion spent with the psychologist. I hope you feel encouraged after talking with him.
Poor DH- frequent headaches must make him feel tired too. But at least there seems a bit of a truce over the fence.
Doodle- Oh you poor souls. It must be so distressing to see such a gentle man suffering as he is. Writing must be the last thing you feel like. Just try and be kind to yourself and rest when you can. Hoping there,is some improvement today- if only he could go home. Sending much love.
HVDY- hope wherever you re going you have a lovely time and enjoy every minute. Funny old weather to know what to pack isn’t it.
Wyllow- picking up a jumper at the supermarket sounds like a positive step. Good that your interest was triggered. Hope you bought it.
KOKO- but you do and you manage your day somehow- tiny steps towards better days.
Take care.
Whiff- hope the holiday is going well.
Candy,Nadateturbe, Nanny,Allsorts,EllieAnne, and all hope you have a peaceful evening

Oh no- just lost messages. Another try.

Doodle So sorry. Anyone would feel depressed after everything you have been and are still going through. It must be so awful, torture, listening to your DH's words and please to return home. I'm sure they will want a bed and will let your DH out as soon as they can. I hope the medical team gave some encouragement as to expectations of your DH's condition after the op. Take heart Doodle and be assured there are many prayers being sent and sending you love and💐
Wyllow That feeling of waking up to another day and not knowing how to face it all is dreadful in any depression.
I'm so glad you got out and bought that jumper. It is a huge thing for you to do that , just as it is to climb out of bed and get dressed. You will wake one day and feel a little brighter I'm sure. It will seem as if you're doing things on 'auto' maybe but you are pushing yourself a tiny bit further which must make it so tiring but you are making the effort. We care, Wyllow. ❤️
HVDY It must be good to go to your aqua-aerobics and see people. Sometimes I feel like that at book group-sometimes.
I hope you enjoy your break away.Anything away from routine can be refreshing and do the world of good. I think the weather is meant to be reasonable - sick of the wet stuff!

Hope everyone is OK.
Been to psychologist today - extremely emotional. Must be expensive patient(tissues). People here doing neighbours fence and DH taken ours down.(long story) DH had headaches again this afternoon but telling me he's OK everytime I ask.Grrr and more Grrr.
Glad when workmen go( 2 young kids really and 1 sneered at DH when he was trying to take some of our panel down)
They weren't paid to help so they didn't just stood by. Neighbour helped DH so hope that's resolved a previous awkwardness.
Take care all.

Doodle so much love going your way xx

(HVDY hello for today, yes go alone, and good packing)