Black dog 21

HVDY I hope you're feeling ok today.
That's a very long wait for the funeral, very difficult for the family.

I don't eat pigs either, love haddock, it's very tasty.
I'm glad you spotted the ulcer, best seen to quickly.
Do you still talk to your children's exes? I am finding it stressful as she is so heartbroken. And,I don't think it will help her to move on. I think it might be better if she talked to her own family and friends. But I'm really sad.
What an awful journey home. Terrible waste of time. But I'm sure you're glad you went, especiallyas your SiL enjoyed the chat..

nadateturbe I'm still friends with the 1st ex of Son1( they were together a few years, lived together 2 years, no children), went to her wedding 12 years ago, am know as "Nanny" to her 10 year old. In fact, I'm going to see her in her new house this coming Friday. I was friends with an ex of Son2, for several years (they were together 8 years, lived together for about 6yrs. She had adult kids as she's 27yrs older than my son). We used to go out a couple of times a week, I supported her through cancer and her mum's illness & death. When I had my stroke, she wasn't there, didn't want to know .

Could you perhaps text her, say you're sorry things haven't worked out? Whatever happens, though, you can't get involved - your son is your son, and whatever he does, be there for him. Both my sons had a few girlfriends before they finally settled down. I liked them all apart from the mother of Son1's girls.

Thanks for that HVDY. You're a very caring person to stay in touch so much. . Its sad that your son's ex wasn't there for you. And thanks for the advice. We have texted a bit, I just didn't know if it was a good idea. I'll see how it goes.

Just finding it hard to get dressed, washed, eat, etc.

Best wishes all for best nights and healing xx

I don’t understand why you can happily post on other threads
but on this thread it’s always doom and gloom and don’t reply to your friends who always worry about you

HVDY- hope you’re enjoying your day with Chubby Chops and that the check up goes well for DiL.
Glad you got to see your SiL - it’s not easy having a conversation with dementia sufferers is it. Our oldest friend now asks us the same questions repeatedly when we have a chat about the present and remembers little but can talk about our shared past much better.
Hard for your brother to have to wait for his Sons funeral- will your SiL be able to go?
What a nightmare journey- you must have been done in when you got back.
Nadateturbe- what a happy visit from your SiL and DH. Playing with children always cheers you up but also is very tiring too. I know what you mean about conversations in ‘stereo’- it’s exhausting.Just what you needed to take your mind off worrying about your Sons relationship.
I have done mostly watercolour painting but also Acrylics and a lot of Life Drawing . I just can’t motivate myself to paint or even draw at the moment. My GGD loves Art(she’s nearly11) and I,ve got her metallic acrylics for her birthday .
Doodle- hope MrD is showing some improvement today - you,ve both had such a worrying few days. How do you feel physically? It must be very difficult to completely relax when you’re not at home . Hope it’s not too long before you can both sleep in your own bed again.
We had a Bluebell walk this morning- it was freezing. I have to walk so much slower now I don’t really get warm😩I thought of you and DH and how much you loved your walks and felt grateful for what I can do. The bluebells were lovely- it is the best blue. Hope soon you,ll be out together in the fresh air.
Wyllow- Do you have anyone you can talk with quietly? Just wish we were able to help you more. Always ready to listen though. Stay strongxx

* nadaterurbe* you must be so upset about your son and his partner. I can understand how concerned you are. Hope things work out ok for them both. Very sad though.
I would love to be able to paint but paint pouring is my most successful art experience to date.
Scaredycat sometimes the bad news seems overwhelming doesn’t it. So sorry you have some troubles worrying you at the moment. I bet your DGd loves her present. Mine were always keen on arts and crafts too.
DH had a good night but not so well today he is full of fluid and needs meds to get rid of excess. He feels very bloated.
I’m ok ish. Coping better than I thought but my shoulder hurts a bit but not bad. I’m eating well.
Sweetpeasue hope you’re enjoying the lakes. Hope the weather is good.
HVDY which you’d been around when DH got his ulcer., that should have been reported on much sooner.
Glad your SIL is comfortable enough, That journey home for you took ages. Hope you’re feeling better in yourself now.
Wyllow we understand. You just do what is ok for you. You know you’re safe here x

Wyllow3 If you can't face making yourself anything proper to eat, could you at least have fruit, cereals, yoghurts, a sandwich?

Scaredycat Chubby Chops has just gone (been here since 8.30). Son and DIL went out for lunch after the check-up.
She's having an operation on her eye next Friday. My SIL doesn't ever instigate a conversation, that's been the case for a year or more. She doesn't even ask questions. She won't be going to the funeral - she doesn't know he's died, and it would upset her as she was very fond of him. She needs a wheelchair/hoist all the time now. Glad you enjoyed your walk. It's been very cold here. Bluebells are lovely, aren't they? I bet your GGD will love her present. Is she going up to senior school this September?

Doodle* Glad you're eating well. I expect your husband is on diuretics, so he'll be weeing more. Is he having any physiotherapy?

How's everyone else's day been? x

Scaredycat you sound very cheerful in your post. I think your walk did you good. Yes, sometimes we realise how fortunate we are compared to others. It's good you get to walk, even if its slower. Is there a chance it will improve? I hope the AF didn't spoil your walk.
There's nothing that will cheer you up like little children, they just make you smile. I loved it. I'm sure your GD will like her present. I think the difficulty about motivation, apart from energy of course, is having a subject you really want to paint or draw.
Conversation is very difficult with dementia sufferers. When I went to my aunts we mostly chatted around photo albums. But it's very sad, isn't it.

Just for you, my attempt at bluebell wood.

Sorry, your GGD Scaredycat.

Doodle I'm glad you're getting the strength to cope and looking after yourself. You are managing so well through all that you're both going through. If you shoulder gets worse, maybe get it checked? That bloating must be very uncomfortable for your DH, but hopefully the meds will deal with it. How is he feeling?
I do feel really sad, as do my son and DiL, we all just think of sons partner as family. But I have to distance myself a bit. It's too stressful.
Today has been a total rest day. Body just needs a break, it's almost a crash, I think I stopped just in time.

HVDY your poor SiL. She has got so much worse so quickly. Such an awful illness. My uncle is getting buried tomorrow and my aunt keeps forgetting he's dead. I think in some ways its worse for the other family members than the person suffering.
I hope DiLs op goes OK next week.

Whiff and Sweetpeasue hope you're having a good time.
Hello to Candy Wyllow3 Nanny2507 and anyone else on BD. Hope you are all ok.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nadateturbe a lovely picture.

Wyllow do not let Netty47 make you feel bad. I saw your other post and understood as it was completely different to your situation here you could write about it.

I am always glad to see your goodnight as then I know and everyone else that you found the strength to get through another day.

There are getting more posters come on various threads pass judgement then disappear or start a thread just to set people off and again disappear.

One thread my posts got deleted and I got accused of being a troll by GNHQ had to look up troll and trolled. I sent them an email and didn't get a reply. There where others who got their posts deleted as well as me.

Would routine help you? After my husband died I didn't want to wash or dress etc. But I made myself when all I wanted to was curl into a ball and shut out the world.

Perhaps you could take it one step at a time . Today make sure you wash and clean your teeth, even if you put on cleaned nightwear instead of clothes do it for a week. Then next week do the same but put on day clothes for a week . And if you feel you can the following week just step out side for 10mins . If you have a set back then start it slowly doing it again.

Make sure you have something to eat and drink everyday especially if you are taking a lot of tablets, as tablets can make you feel worse as without food and drink they get into your system quicker than they should. Especially food slows the your tablets dissolving in your stomach and slowly releases then into your blood stream. Instead of having a quick hit which wears off quickly. If possible have hot food even if it's say porridge 3 times a day.

If you don't eat a balanced diet it will be making you feel worse as your body will be starved off all the nutrients you need which has a knock on effect of making you feel worse and exhausted . Any physical health problems will make your mental health worse and vise versa. Our bodies are a complex machine that needs things to make it function .

Try if you can talk to the Quakers even if it's once a week for 10 mins as they helped you last time.

nadateturbe your painting is beautiful hope you frame it and put it on your wall. Where I used to live I saw a lot of bluebell woods not many here but do have some in my garden.

Doodle hope they can start to get rid of Mr D's fluid retention. Can't remember what they injected my dad with but remember him saying he was peeing like a horse. But it took the pressure off his heart and lungs and his swelling went down and relieved the pain in his legs and joints and made it easier to do physio work. Hope you are taking good care of yourself and healing well.

Sweetpeasue I love the lake district but would never go back as we went a lot and those memories with my husband and family are precious. I have to make new memories since my going to Berwick upon Tweed on the 6th only staying 4 nights but it's my first holiday in 19 years . See next year if I can do a week . But I won't travel of a weekend trains are to crowded and they set my HPX off.

Saw a programme the other day they went to Saltburn on sea and brought back memories of our holiday there when I was 38 . Remember how old I was as not long after had a total hysterectomy.

Hope everyone else has a good day. Blood test and then craft group for me today. 🤗

nadateturbe You're right, it is worse the family and friends of someone with dementia. My SIL is unaware of most things around her now. She still recognises me, my brother, her sister and her son but quickly forgets when anyone has visited her. I hope you had a good night's sleep last night. Your painting is beautiful. It's good enough to frame and hang it in your living room or somewhere prominent.

Wyllow3 Don't take any notice of what anyone thinks - we on BD care. Excellent advice from Whiff. Perhaps do things bit by bit.

Thank you both so much thats how it made me feel. Back later xx

Wyllow We all completely understand that your illness is so bad you are not able to write more.As Whiff says, the situation here is much different and it is all emotional stuff. Please take no notice.
Nadateturbe Your painting of the bluebell wood is beautiful. The blue colour you used is striking-I love it. Will try to post a photo of the ones at front of house later.
HVDY You have so much sadness around you with your nephew's funeral and your SIL's condition. I'm sorry -
You too Nadateturbe life can be so difficult to watch those around us deteriorating.

I hope you're DH is improving Doodle. I looked at the vast sky from the bedroom window here and prayed earnestly that he makes a full recovery and for you too. May God bless you both and give you strength. Hope today you can see a big difference in the water retention.

Sorry can't write to all. Hope to get back later.
Yesterday morning I went out and noticed a sheep licking a tiny bundle next to it, about 20ft from garden fence. Newborn lamb! Called DH and we both sat at garden table with a hot drink, all muffled up with coat over dressing gown, with binoculars. Very soon another little life dropped into this world. It was so moving. Have seen 2 more mums have lambs since. It's so amazing the effort it takes for them to stand up on their little legs, determined to survive and then fathom out where the teats are to get milk.
Weather been so good. I'm no different, DH not right but will see Dr when we get back. So glad we came. No one knows what lies before us so each day is a blessing really.

Hope everyone has a decent day. Much love to all my dear friends here.xx

Yes you are right about routine Whiff and proper eating whilst on lots of meds. Hope your craft session goes well.

Sweetpeasue nice lamb report.

I was explaining- I think you picked it up - its worth saying it once to BD's that when I post on other threads say politics its because it helps me concentrate my mind on events outside myself. fortunately because I posted a lot on here previously I have little pictures in my mind of all and truly "listen". Replying properly is harder I will do it when I can.

Wave to HVDY too and others to come. x.

Wyllow I completely get it and I didn’t like that person’s post at all! When we are low we take everything on ourselves. There is a lot of good advice but only you know your limits.
I think routine is good. Well it is for me.
Lovely picture of bluebells. I like them in the wild but they are trying to take over my garden and I can’t get rid of them.
Lovely to see the lambs sweet pea sue. I hope your holiday is going well.

"I think routine is good. Well it is for me" Yes Ellie for koko.

Wyllow3 we shouldn't judge. We do not walk in another person's shoes. Its good that you're taking an interest in other posts.
Love x

Wyllow you’re one of us. We know you and what you’ve been through. I truly understand why posting on other threads is different. You just carry on as you were, we are fine with that